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Back When We Were Young and Innocent..

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Re: Back When We Were Young and Innocent..

  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
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    edited September 2014
    I used to think "oral sex" meant making out. I knew oral = mouth, but I had no idea that people put THOSE in their mouths. Ahh innocence.

    SIB

    Oh, god, Lolo, I thought almost the same thing. I thought it meant talking about it. Because in your math book, there were written problems, and oral problems "to be read aloud and discussed with the class," right? Ha, I know what oral means.
    So I think I'm a very sophisticated 11 year old with my new knowledge, and my parents are sitting on their bed talking about something racy, a movie or book or something, and here I come all wise and worldly, and say, "May I interrupt your oral sex?"
    Oh, their faces. Never heard the end of it. My dad almost died laughing. 
    Eff you, boxes!

    Yeah at some point I thought it was dirty talk/phone sex. Because NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS would I have imagined what it actually is! 

    I also remember thinking that sex was just hugging while laying down. I knew about the whole sperm/egg thing because I had found my mom's like 70's copy of "A Child is Born" which explained conception in graphic detail, but I thought they just kind of... jumped.

    I never actually got the sex talk, come to think of it. Guys it's a miracle I've turned out as moderately well-adjusted as I have.

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    lurkergirljenna8984
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
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    edited September 2014
    afox007 said:
    My mom gave me the sex talk when I was 8 and she was pregnant with my third sibling. I was confused as to where all these damn babies came from! She apparently didn't explain things very well because I was in junior high sex Ed before I realized there was a vaginal opening for the penis to go into. Before that I just assumed it rubbed inside the labia kinda like rubbing a hotdog between the bun.
    OMG I am losing it over here laughing.
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  • afox007 said:
    My mom gave me the sex talk when I was 8 and she was pregnant with my third sibling. I was confused as to where all these damn babies came from! She apparently didn't explain things very well because I was in junior high sex Ed before I realized there was a vaginal opening for the penis to go into. Before that I just assumed it rubbed inside the labia kinda like rubbing a hotdog between the bun.
    OMG I am losing it over here laughing.
    Ditto!!

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  • I missed out.  My parents told me what sex was when I was five.  No mystery at all.  Just a book with chickens in it explaining sex and conception.

    Before that age, I remember being confused about making out.  My nanny at the time told me that they both had different kinds of boiled candy - or as we say, lollies - and were exchanging them.  So we called it, "swapping lollies."
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited September 2014

    I used to think "oral sex" meant making out. I knew oral = mouth, but I had no idea that people put THOSE in their mouths. Ahh innocence.

    Me too! I thought it meant like French kissing. Tongues going out in and out instead of penises.

    Also, my mom and dad (at different times) have me the sex talk, but I was still confused and didn't want to ask my parents/felt like I couldn't (I still have communication issues). Anyway, so I thought having sex meant you did all the foreplay, and then you laid with your crotches near each other and then the penis kind of went in by itself. I didn't realize you purposefully put it in! I pictured adults looking down and waiting hopefully and then being all happy if it "worked" that time. I don't know how long it took until i figured that out. (Found out on the internet, reading Cosmo online.)
    theartistformerlyknownas
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
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    edited September 2014
    I had teenage sisters, so I didn't really start with any misconceptions. I never even had the sex talk with my parents, it was with my oldest sister, who is 14 years older than me. FI told me that he thought the vagina was on the front, and he thought that every naked frontal picture of a woman was censored. He must have gotten a huge shock when he saw his first giny. 
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    missdelilah
  • wandajune6wandajune6 Chicago-ish member
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    We were given an early edition of "Our Bodies, Ourselves" and told to ask if we had questions. We were under 10 (not sure what age) and voracious readers.

    I remember being young and asking my mom about frequency. Looking back, I'm glad I didn't get an answer.
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  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
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    Not me, but my FSIL was always told that when a couple loves each other, they get married and have babies (she was 4 I think). She was the flower girl in her Aunt's wedding (who she LOVED and FSIL was the baby and the princess). As soon as the ceremony was over, she LOST it. She was hysterical. When they finally calmed her down enough to ask why she was crying, she said, "Aunt Jamie is going to have a baby tomorrow and I won't be the favorite anymore!" HAHA 


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  • edited September 2014
    When I was really young, like first grade, I thought that God just made you pregnant whenever he wanted, and that when you had stomach aches it was God having you practice being pregnant and having a baby. I distinctly remember praying one day on a car ride, when I had an upset stomach, that I would not be pregnant and that God would take the baby away...ugh hahaha. I'd pray all the time asking that God not get me pregnant because I didn't want to be hahaha

    Around 6th grade my friends and I would talk about how we were scared when we would someday have sex that the penis would just get stuck in us and be hard to get out lol.

    edited: because I can't spell you and was embarrassed.
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    missdelilah
  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby! member
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    I remember being terrified that I was going to grow a penis when I was in the fourth grade. I would literally stare at myself in the mirror every morning to make sure that it wasn't "growing".
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  • I hit puberty and sprouted my buds WAAAAYYY before the rest of the girls in my class.  Already being a little shy, I went into major embarrassment/shock zone when that happened.  I wore tightest sports bra for a good 5 years before I started wearing a regular bra and started to finally except that I was growing up.   I'm pretty sure my mom did a huge happy dance when that happened.
  • I accidentally learned about sex when I was 7 and looking for Xmas presents that were hidden. Instead I found my parents "Joy of Sex" book from the 70's. For those unaware of this book, it has drawings of a hippy couple sexing and descriptions of what they are doing. The one image that got me was the man licking his partner's armpit hair. I still remember that turning my stomach.

    The only time my parents talked to me about sex was when they dropped me off at college. My dad simply said 'Be careful of boys. I was their age once, I know what they want'. Thanks, dad.
    sarawifenowtheartistformerlyknownaschibiyui
  • I was incredibly sheltered. Never had the sex ed class in elementary school. In high school health, my teacher only told us about STDs, not the sex part. My parents never gave me the sex talk. My now husband taught me. But I had to teach him that you had to PUT the penis in, it wouldn't go in by itself.
    I didn't grow breasts until I was 17. But my mom made me wear a bra starting when I was 9. Once I turn 12, she made me wear the biggest possible size of clothes, because having "too tight" clothes was bad. "Too tight" was basically anything that would fit me. I was an extra small and she made me wear extra large. I get not letting a child wear plunging necklines or extremely tight clothing, but it was awful getting mocked for not having clothes that fit.
  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs member
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    Man this thread cracks me up. I don't really remember having any misconceptions because my mom gave me a book fairly early (like 3rd or 4th grade).

    However, when I was in middle school there was a kid I hung out with and his favorite thing to say was "go blow your mom" and I was like how does that work?!? Is it like blowing a raspberry on her lady parts?!?!?! 
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  • FutureMrsN3312FutureMrsN3312 Dirty Jersey member
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    My mom was very open about questions that I asked.

    She said I was about 4 when I told my Pop Pop at Easter dinner that he had a penis and I had a vagina.  Probably around the same age I would try and tell my dad to not be ridiculous but it came out "Daddy don't be dickless".  I still hear about that...
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  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
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    These are all hilarious!! I remember saying to my mom when I was about 5- "So the only difference between my brother and I is our clothes, right? Like, you as the parent gets to just decide if you wanted us to be boys or girls and then you just dress us in which one you chose?" She was like uuum not quite.

    I remember in 6th grade the music video for TLC's Waterfall came out and they kept showing a condom wrapper on the nightstand and we were all asking each other at school what it was. One girl was like "It's something so you don't have babies" but no one knew what it was or how it stopped babies. You all may have learned that sooner in sex ed but I went to Catholic school so there was no such thing.

    Um, I had no idea about a man "finishing" if you will. I just thought you do it until you don't feel like it anymore. So first couple times I gave a BJ in high school, he finished and I just kept going for like ten more minutes and wondering why it was not hard anymore. Not sure why it took him so long to stop me and finally say, ok all set.

                                                                     

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  • In 7th grade my friend told me that a man's semen is the texture/color equivalent of the cream in an oreo.  Needless to say, I had a hard time eating oreos after that one. 
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
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    When I was small, I thought french kissing was basically om-nom-noming on someone else's mouth while tilting your head back and forth.

    When when I got older, someone called it tongue-kissing and it made more sense.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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  • loveislouderloveislouder member
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    edited September 2014
    My little sister thought penises had barbs on them, and every time you had sex, you bled (got your period) from the injuries.

    Sidenote:  Read in Cosmo or something about a guy that was upset because he couldn't have sex with his girlfriend for 3 weeks out of the month because after her period the "scabs have to heal!"
  • My little sister thought penises had barbs on them, and every time you had sex, you bled (got your period) from the injuries.

    Sidenote:  Read in Cosmo or something about a guy that was upset because he couldn't have sex with his girlfriend for 3 weeks out of the month because after her period the "scabs have to heal!"
    This is hilarious! While I was in Amsterdam I overheard a guy asking his friend if he could get herpes from a blow job (yes). It seemed like something he should have asked BEFORE not after.

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  • steph861steph861 member
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    edited September 2014
    I remember the fifth grade "talk" - my teacher (a woman) spoke to the girls, while the principal (a man) spoke to the boys. Apparently one of the boys asked the principal what blue balls were. The kid knew exactly what they were, he just wanted to make the principal squirm.

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  • In 2nd grade a mean boy kicked me between the legs and it hurt. My eyes watered up. So I stood up for myself and kicked him back hard in the same place. I might have been a bit derisive about it when he keeled over. When my mom picked me up, I was surprised to learn that in this instance like-for-like wasn't exactly like-for-like.  

    On the other hand, I bet he never forgot that lesson.

    @lolo, totally the same here re: oral sex. 
    A bit sheltered as well, but it was pretty much of my own making. Even in high school I wasn't totally sure what "bases" came after 1. 

    Then happy I, that love and am beloved 
    Where I may not remove nor be removed.

     --William Shakespeare (Sonnet 25)

  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
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    My mom was pre-med when I was little, so I didn't have a lot of misconceptions about how stuff worked.

    My only question during the 5th grade "sex talk" was about penises dispensing both semen and urine: "isn't that unsanitary???"

    Also for some reason I thought semen would be sweet. Don't know why.
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  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 Deep in the Heart of Texas member
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    Inkdancer said:

    My mom was pre-med when I was little, so I didn't have a lot of misconceptions about how stuff worked.

    My only question during the 5th grade "sex talk" was about penises dispensing both semen and urine: "isn't that unsanitary???"

    Also for some reason I thought semen would be sweet. Don't know why.

    Have you guys ever noticed your SOs semen tasting differently based on what they ate? I've heard different foods can change the taste.

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