I am wondering

mrstrevor3

I am wondering if it would be okay if I invited my aunts and uncles, without inviting my cousins? I have a huge Mexican family and have a limited budget. My cousins are high school and older, I am unclear if it would be rude because most of my cousins still live with the aunts and uncles. I don't want to hurt any feelings, but like I said, limited budget. I should add, I have 17 cousins...lol

southernbelle0915

You can invite whoever you want.

But to minimize hurt feelings I would draw a solid line and stick to it. For example, it sounds like some may be adult cousins and some may still be under 18, correct? If some are under 18, I would try to have a kid free wedding so the aunt and uncles don't wonder why some kids were invited and not theirs. Expect some push back, especially in a culture with strong, all inclusive type family values.

RebeccaFlower

I'm with southernbelle. You can invite whoever you want, but you can expect some people will not be happy about it. You need to make the lines of invited/not clear (as in, no exceptions, not writing 'no kids!' on the invite). 

melbenso

This is called inviting in circles, and it's perfectly acceptable from an etiquette standpoint, as long as you apply the rule evenly to all members of the group.  (Though as PP point out, there still may be some hurt feelings.) 

You could decide only to invite adult family members and have the circle be any cousins over 18.  However, I would advise against inviting cousins 18 and older if those cousins have younger siblings who would then not be invited.  Not only will it hurt the younger ones feelings (especially if they are older teenagers), but splitting up individual family units like that isn't the best of ideas.

You could decide not to invite any of your cousins, and have the circle be just aunts and uncles.  This would probably be the better plan, and it sounds like what you are considering doing anyway.

Just remember, depending on the person, some people - especially family - might be offended that their children weren't invited and either pressure you to invite them (don't do it, stand firm) or not come (ok, their decision).

cowgirl8238

melbenso said:

This is called inviting in circles, and it's perfectly acceptable from an etiquette standpoint, as long as you apply the rule evenly to all members of the group.  (Though as PP point out, there still may be some hurt feelings.) 

You could decide only to invite adult family members and have the circle be any cousins over 18.  However, I would advise against inviting cousins 18 and older if those cousins have younger siblings who would then not be invited.  Not only will it hurt the younger ones feelings (especially if they are older teenagers), but splitting up individual family units like that isn't the best of ideas.

You could decide not to invite any of your cousins, and have the circle be just aunts and uncles.  This would probably be the better plan, and it sounds like what you are considering doing anyway.

Just remember, depending on the person, some people - especially family - might be offended that their children weren't invited and either pressure you to invite them (don't do it, stand firm) or not come (ok, their decision).

This is exactly would I was going to say...especially the bolded.