Ok to ask bridesmaids to pay me back for hair?

ksherr

Hi All~

Etiquette question: I have let my bridesmaids know that if they'd like to have their hair done the day of the wedding, we will be having stylists at the hotel, but they will have to cover the cost ($75) if they'd like it (not required).  From what I understand from weddings I've been in, this is normal, but here's the hiccup: The salon has let me know that since they are traveling, they require payment in full up front.  Most of my bridesmaids are out of state.  Is it odd to ask them to pay me back that day? This is definitely a cost we weren't expecting and will be a big strain on our pre-wedding budget.

Thoughts?

lurkergirl

Any costs for your bridesmaids need to be discussed in advance.  If they choose to have their hair done, then they should be able to pay the stylist at that time.  If they do not choose to have their hair done, then there is nothing to pay.

Please note that if you are requiring them to use a stylist (which I don't think you are), then YOU are on the hook for covering the cost.

How far out is your wedding?

MobKaz

ksherr said:

Hi All~

Etiquette question: I have let my bridesmaids know that if they'd like to have their hair done the day of the wedding, we will be having stylists at the hotel, but they will have to cover the cost ($75) if they'd like it (not required).  From what I understand from weddings I've been in, this is normal, but here's the hiccup: The salon has let me know that since they are traveling, they require payment in full up front.  Most of my bridesmaids are out of state.  Is it odd to ask them to pay me back that day? This is definitely a cost we weren't expecting and will be a big strain on our pre-wedding budget.

Thoughts?

Are you saying the salon expects to be paid AHEAD of the wedding day?  That seems a bit unusual to me.  Obviously, any salon will expect to be paid the day OF the service.  It should be very simple to ask your BM's for a head count as to who wants to take advantage of the hair salon.  They should expect to have to pay the day of the wedding, and be prepared to do so.  Passing along a gentle reminder to be prepared with payment is fine.

ksherr

I thought it seemed unusual too.. But they do want a final head count and payment by the Thursday BEFORE the wedding.  This was actually the second salon I encountered to tell me this.  I am definitely not requiring anyone to get there hair done, but not sure how to approach the situation since they want payment in advance.

The wedding is next Sunday, or I might consider switching salons over this...

lurkergirl

I would really have a big issue with paying for a service before I received it.

When contractors work on my house, they don't get full payment until they're finished.  All my wedding vendors don't get fully paid until the wedding day or even after in the case of the photographer (finish paying when we get the pictures).  I guess I don't see why hair would be different.

MobKaz

lurkergirl said:

I would really have a big issue with paying for a service before I received it.

When contractors work on my house, they don't get full payment until they're finished.  All my wedding vendors don't get fully paid until the wedding day or even after in the case of the photographer (finish paying when we get the pictures).  I guess I don't see why hair would be different.

^^Absolutely all of this.  In addition, typically price points will vary on the type and length of hair, as well as the particular style chosen.  You do not know whether the stylist will arrive on time, or perform the service you expect.  I might understand a deposit, but payment in full PRIOR to the performance of that service??  No thanks! 

ksherr

Yeah.. that was my gut feeling as well.. Back to the drawing board I suppose.  Thanks for the input!

jenijoyk

You guys really didn't have to pay your stylists before the wedding? I looked into a bunch of wedding day hair and makeup people. All of them required at least 50% of the total cost as a deposit with the rest due on the day of, and some required 50% to hold the date, and the rest two weeks before the wedding. I think this is really typical. We're also paying our officiant (full payment due 2 weeks before the wedding), our DJ (full payment due 30 days before), our baker (due 2 weeks before) and our photographer (full payment due 30 days before) before the wedding. I think this is really normal for wedding day vendors, including hair and makeup. The only vendors we are not paying before the day of is the churro guy and the mariachi band.

jenijoyk

Also, I have been a bridesmaid before where I paid the bride cash for my hair on the day of because she had already paid the stylist. I don't think it's weird at all to have them pay you instead of the stylist (as long as it's voluntary and you're not requiring them to pay for hair etc. etc.). 

The only thing to watch out for is to stress to your BMs that after you let the stylist know they want their hair done, they can't change their mind (because you'll have to pay for them anyway). 

QueerFemme

A lot of stylists require payment up front, or at least a 50% deposit. This is not that unusual. 

jaime232

I'm paying 50% a month before the wedding date for our stylists... primarily because they need to know how many stylists are needed and want to ensure that they don't show up and only like two people actually need anything done, and then they've lost all that time when they could be making money.  So, it makes sense.  I actually just let all my bridesmaids know that they could pay me now or I could front it and have them pay for it on the day of the wedding... for those who are opting to get theirs done professionally (not required).  I don't think that's terribly out of line.

tammym1001

Every one of my wedding vendors was paid in full before the wedding happened except the photographer. I don't think it's unusual that they would want the money up front, especially if they are coming to you. You could tell them you have 8 girls getting their hair done so they send stylists to you and don't schedule anything else and then when they get there and you change your mind and say we're only having two girls get their hair done. Then they are out their time and money.

Maggie0829

I don't think it is unusual that the salon wants full payment prior the wedding.  A lot of vendors want full payment prior the wedding. Every single vendor that I used, except the hair and makeup because they were doing it on the side, was paid before our wedding day.

OP, I would double check with your BMs to see who is and who is not getting their hair done.  Let them know that your salon requires full payment prior to the wedding date and that you will be providing that payment and that they can reimburse you the day of.  Also let them know that tip is not included in the price (unless it is and then scratch that).

Ven&Radio

IIRC, all of my wedding vendors required the final payment at least 7 days before the wedding.  I think it's completely reasonable that the salon needs a head count before hand so they know how much time and many stylists will be needed.  I can see where paying up front is a bit of a drag for you if you hadn't planned on it, but I don't think it's terribly abnormal or that it should be a deal breaker.

ksherr

Thanks for the input!  I did go with them - the stylist was too good to pass on, and everyone was fine with it - may have actually made things a little easier since they could pay me back at their convenience over the weekend.  Good to know this isn't terribly unusual. It does make sense, given that most other wedding vendors are paid ahead of time. 

jynxiie

Yeah sounds pretty normal too me, especially if you have a larger bridal party. I'm sure salons get a lot of no shows - which would of course mess up their whole day and paycheck.