Apparently I shouldn't have sent a TY card...

PrincessOfHavoc

Important background - neither DF or I have personal Facebook accounts. I have one for work and that's it.

Tuesday - DF and I get a gift card in a congratulations on your wedding card. But it's not from someone invited so we were trying to figure out who it's from. Finally figure out it's some random cousin of DF. Thanks FMIL for the help there!

Wednesday - I mailed the thank you card from both of us. You know, Thank you for the well wishes, blah de freaking blah. DF signed first as it's his family.

Friday - DF gets a crabby, weird voicemail at why won't he acknowledge cousin from her mom/his aunt - who is also not invited to wedding. DF had to work late so didn't pick up the voice mail until yesterday.

Saturday - DF calls aunt to figure out what is going on, had to leave a voicemail. That was about 10:30 am, didn't hear anything, figure maybe we got the gift card late and our thank you card was delayed.

Nope.

Sunday/today - I answer the phone. Cousin is so upset she can't call, so her mommy is calling for her. Aunt is just furious that we had the audacity to MAIL the thank you card. We were supposed to just say it on Facebook. I, in all my less than nice manners, pointed out we don't have personal Facebook and if her bratty child wanted public adoration for sending us a gift, she can post the fucking thank you on Facebook herself. We got a physical card, we sent a physical thank you. Aunt hangs up on me. Calls DF's cell. He needs to sign up for Facebook, publicly thank his dear cousin and apologize for being so rude as to not do so earlier. He's just looking at me like WTF? and tells Aunt no, and she's just proving why her crazy ass wasn't invited.

In the three hours since, she's called FMIL twice and apparently had a crying fit on Facebook over how horrible we are to not thank her daughter and to not invite family to a wedding.

I'll remember to never send them a thank you card again. We still aren't inviting the crazy to the wedding.

Viczaesar

PrincessOfHavoc said:

Important background - neither DF or I have personal Facebook accounts. I have one for work and that's it. Tuesday - DF and I get a gift card in a congratulations on your wedding card. But it's not from someone invited so we were trying to figure out who it's from. Finally figure out it's some random cousin of DF. Thanks FMIL for the help there! Wednesday - I mailed the thank you card from both of us. You know, Thank you for the well wishes, blah de freaking blah. DF signed first as it's his family. Friday - DF gets a crabby, weird voicemail at why won't he acknowledge cousin from her mom/his aunt - who is also not invited to wedding. DF had to work late so didn't pick up the voice mail until yesterday. Saturday - DF calls aunt to figure out what is going on, had to leave a voicemail. That was about 10:30 am, didn't hear anything, figure maybe we got the gift card late and our thank you card was delayed. Nope. Sunday/today - I answer the phone. Cousin is so upset she can't call, so her mommy is calling for her. Aunt is just furious that we had the audacity to MAIL the thank you card. We were supposed to just say it on Facebook. I, in all my less than nice manners, pointed out we don't have personal Facebook and if her bratty child wanted public adoration for sending us a gift, she can post the fucking thank you on Facebook herself. We got a physical card, we sent a physical thank you. Aunt hangs up on me. Calls DF's cell. He needs to sign up for Facebook, publicly thank his dear cousin and apologize for being so rude as to not do so earlier. He's just looking at me like WTF? and tells Aunt no, and she's just proving why her crazy ass wasn't invited. In the three hours since, she's called FMIL twice and apparently had a crying fit on Facebook over how horrible we are to not thank her daughter and to not invite family to a wedding. I'll remember to never send them a thank you card again. We still aren't inviting the crazy to the wedding.

AddieCake

This is the nuttiest thing I've seen in awhile.

JaxInBlue

I'm sorry. 

I'm wondering how the logistics of this would work, though.  DH and I got gifts from a lot of people at our wedding.  Would we need to write status updates thanking each individual who gave a gift or was part of giving a gift? If it's a status update, how frequently could we can change our status to thank a new gift giver? Would a wall message suffice?  Do we both have to gift thanks or could one of us convey thanks for both? Would tagging people in a picture of all the stuff we got work?

chibiyui

PrincessOfHavoc

JaxInBlue said:

I'm sorry. 

I'm wondering how the logistics of this would work, though.  DH and I got gifts from a lot of people at our wedding.  Would we need to write status updates thanking each individual who gave a gift or was part of giving a gift? If it's a status update, how frequently could we can change our status to thank a new gift giver? Would a wall message suffice?  Do we both have to gift thanks or could one of us convey thanks for both? Would tagging people in a picture of all the stuff we got work?

I believe we were both supposed to go worship on cousin's page or something. What would we post? Is "Thanks crazy cousin for the $10 gift card to Target for our wedding" appropriate? Or is to be more "OMG! Thanks for the gift! We love you and blah de fucking blah! Here's your wedding invite!"

holyguacamole79

Wow. That's ballsy.

falsara

So F***ing unbelievable. Just because their life revolves around a world that is wholly connected to social media does not mean that people don't live outside in the real world.

crackktheskyy

There has to be something else going on here.....right? Like your FI's family being upset about not being invited?

I don't know, it just sounds too crazy to me. Sounds like they were just looking for a reason to complain because they were salty about not receiving an invitation. I can't actually fathom anyone being upset about being mailed a thank you note.

NYCMercedes

That was my thought too. They were upset not to be invited.

PrincessOfHavoc

Not sure as DF and his family hasn't been invited to cousin's weddings so it's not like they're super close or anything.

We are having a smaller wedding, it's what we can afford and what there's room for. It's just close family and friends, a total of 63 people. It's not like we're inviting everyone we know other than them. We knew we couldn't afford to invite everyone as we'd be pushing 500 people so we got pretty ruthless on cutting the numbers. Which included family who we only send Christmas and birthday cards to. The list is unofficially the people we could call for bail or who would be sitting beside us in jail. You know, important people.

I'm at 6 weeks and 5 days. I am probably just a little over sensitive to anything.

zitiqueen

Yeah, I'm with Sheldon on this one.

APDSS22

Well and you know if you hadn't sent a note at all you know they'd be complaining about not getting one.

Some people will complain about anything really.

bethsmiles

Those people absolutely insane!

traditionallyuntraditional

Facebook it's so magical isn't it?! LOL sounds like you made the right call not inviting captain crazy and her daughter.

Sadly I kind of want to see her facebook rants just because you know it's like a train wreck you know you shouldn't look but you just can't resist!

casey8784

PrincessOfHavoc said:

I'm sorry. 

I'm wondering how the logistics of this would work, though.  DH and I got gifts from a lot of people at our wedding.  Would we need to write status updates thanking each individual who gave a gift or was part of giving a gift? If it's a status update, how frequently could we can change our status to thank a new gift giver? Would a wall message suffice?  Do we both have to gift thanks or could one of us convey thanks for both? Would tagging people in a picture of all the stuff we got work?

I believe we were both supposed to go worship on cousin's page or something. What would we post? Is "Thanks crazy cousin for the $10 gift card to Target for our wedding" appropriate? Or is to be more "OMG! Thanks for the gift! We love you and blah de fucking blah! Here's your wedding invite!"

I was a bridesmaid for a friend who got married a few years ago, and she and her fiance did this! "Thank you Casey8784 for the awesome blender - we can't wait to make margaritas with you once you get home from grad school!" 

She also did this when she was pregnant last year, "Thank you Aunt Mabel for the adorable turtle onesies! Baby Patrick (they announced the baby's name months before he was born - seems weird to me) will love wearing them at the beach next summer!"

They never sent actual, physical thank you cards. It's mind boggling how much people use Facebook in lieu of actual, proper manners/interaction nowadays...

ohannabelle

I award this the WTF post of the day.

Just...really? What's wrong with people?

Senecaf

This might be the craziest thing I have seen in a long tim. And these are real humans? Crazy.

PrincessOfHavoc

casey8784 said:

PrincessOfHavoc said:

I'm sorry. 

I'm wondering how the logistics of this would work, though.  DH and I got gifts from a lot of people at our wedding.  Would we need to write status updates thanking each individual who gave a gift or was part of giving a gift? If it's a status update, how frequently could we can change our status to thank a new gift giver? Would a wall message suffice?  Do we both have to gift thanks or could one of us convey thanks for both? Would tagging people in a picture of all the stuff we got work?

I believe we were both supposed to go worship on cousin's page or something. What would we post? Is "Thanks crazy cousin for the $10 gift card to Target for our wedding" appropriate? Or is to be more "OMG! Thanks for the gift! We love you and blah de fucking blah! Here's your wedding invite!"

I was a bridesmaid for a friend who got married a few years ago, and she and her fiance did this! "Thank you Casey8784 for the awesome blender - we can't wait to make margaritas with you once you get home from grad school!" 

She also did this when she was pregnant last year, "Thank you Aunt Mabel for the adorable turtle onesies! Baby Patrick (they announced the baby's name months before he was born - seems weird to me) will love wearing them at the beach next summer!"

They never sent actual, physical thank you cards. It's mind boggling how much people use Facebook in lieu of actual, proper manners/interaction nowadays...

What? When the fuck did this become remotely acceptable?

Yes, writing out two million thank you cards is mind numbing. But, that's just what you do! It's not that hard.

My dear mother would come back from the grave and beat my ass if I dared try that stunt.

jacques27

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!  That's a whole crapload of crazy right there.  It amazes me that people are so hungry for attention that they can't seem to do anything unless there is public adoration attached to it.

Ugh.

Should they ever give you anything again worthy of a thank you note, I would not change what you do.  I would still send a proper note and let them cry about it all they want.  Just because they choose to be rude and value AWing above all else, doesn't mean you should respond in kind.

Liatris2010

I would return the gift to the givers. Clearly they only gave it so that you could publicly acknowledge their generosity. It had nothing to do with your or well wishes for the upcoming nuptials. F that.

HaileyDancingbear

I'm so sick of people only doing something nice because they expect likes on facebook for it, and even more sick of people who just base their entire lives off social media.  I can barely even stand logging into my social media, it's just people bitching and moaning over pointless crap and posting the same selfie daily. 

Maggie0829

I would buy a box of condoms and some lube and then post the picture on crazy cousins FB page and thank her so much for the gift card and that you are putting it to good use.

climbingsingle

Yeah, that's fucking crazy. 

Knottie1463426215

Should have recorded the phone conversation and posted that on FB. Haha, take that crazy people!

mimivac

traditionallyuntraditional said:
Sadly I kind of want to see her facebook rants just because you know it's like a train wreck you know you shouldn't look but you just can't resist!

LOL. Yes, I would sign up just to refute her on FB.

grumbledore

Maggie0829 said:

I would buy a box of condoms and some lube and then post the picture on crazy cousins FB page and thank her so much for the gift card and that you are putting it to good use.

It's like you read my mind.

perdonami

Liatris2010 said:

I would return the gift to the givers. Clearly they only gave it so that you could publicly acknowledge their generosity. It had nothing to do with you or well wishes for the upcoming nuptials. F that.

I second this.

I almost did this with my cousin/former MOH who stepped down during our rehearsal because she disagreed with our godless ceremony. 

It also didn't help that she accused me of being a satan worshipper right before the ceremony and addressed her card to us as Perdonami &________: then wrote that she would pray for us. 

Of course the shitstorm that would ensue if OP did that would not be worth making the point to the crazy cousin. 

bookishgiraffes

I'm fairly active on Facebook, yet I would still never consider this appropriate. But that's because I believe in writing letters and enjoy writing thank you notes. 

amandaruths

Agreed! I'm SUPER active on Facebook, as I do social media as part of my job, it's part of my life. That being said, I would NEVER thank someone on Facebook instead of sending a note. I also wouldn't thank people on Facebook because I don't want it to guilt other people into getting us gifts! I barely even talk about the wedding online because not everyone of my FB 'friends' is invited. It's just being polite!

KnightsNurse

My grandfather has gotten upset with me for not publicly thanking him for random, small gifts before. Ugh sometimes I think people need to take a basic social skills class/test before becoming involved with "social" media. Crap like this is why I don't have a facebook. I'm all for returning the card on the grounds of you shouldn't have to DO anything special for a gift because it's, well, a gift (TY notes are etiquette and you clearly followed through on that). What a cray-cray.