...is being a total diva. She is the sole reason for wedding stress.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my latest visit with my future mother in law.
We visited today and she corners me and proceeds to drag me all over the house and shows me her shoes, purse, dress, and necklace, then swears me to secrecy because she "wants it all to be a surprise for other guests." May I ask why? You are not the bride, lady. I found this bid for attention VERY odd. Fine, whatever.
She says "Oh, your wedding has been SOOOO stressful on me." I narrow my eyes and say "Why?" She says "Oh, you know, the dress, the dinner, everything." BITCH, YOU ARE KIDDING RIGHT??? I'm trying to keep things as simple as possible for her, but she just finds new things to worry about. Let US worry about it, girl! We got it!
Then she corners me about the rehearsal dinner, which is at their house, and goes through the menu step by step. Just so you guys know: This is a 'build your own cold cuts lunch" meet and greet before hotel check in from 1-3 (check in is at 3) the day before the wedding. She does not need my input on lunch meats. I assure her that my friends and family are not picky, no one has allergies, and if there was somewhere they can park is fine. What did that take? 2 minutes to type that? She went on for 2 hours. FFIL tells her to back off and the tension between them increases significantly to the point I am uncomfortable and so is FI.
Somehow we got to talking about our DJ and our music choices and FMIL says she loves 70's music and everything else SUCKS. We tease each other back and forth and FI says "Oh, come on, it isn't all about you!"
She says "Whatever! It's my day too!!" Hand to heart, she was dead serious.
Before I can think twice, I blurt out "EXCUSE ME?!?" and she glares at me. I held her gaze because she already had 2 weddings to do whatever the hell she wanted. This is not her wedding. This is our turn, not hers.
As the Bride, I was like:
I'm being dramatic, but I was annoyed.
The tension rises when FI is accused to telling them to come early for photos (In 2013) at 1pm. FMIL starts yelling "I only have one makeup artist in town! I can't lose her!!!" Um....what does that have to do with getting photos done? Bitch, chill. She accuses others of doing "Whore Makeup" and only this person will do. I said "I want you there at 2pm. The photos can get done by 3pm. I do not want the guests crossing paths with us before the ceremony so everyone can see us all at the same time and no guests feel like they are intruding on family shots." No one heard me though, so I guess poor FI is getting a call later. I wasn't going to yell. I'm a lady. She's been wanting my direction and input but won't listen when I give it (?)
FI knows I am doing my own makeup. He knows I am practicing highlighting and contouring for photography. "You need to be slightly more heavy handed for photos," he explains "because the flash tends to drown out day-to-day makeup...." He found the term "whore makeup" VERY offensive. FMIL kept using the term and FI told her to stop. She said "Whatever, that is your opinion."
I was so upset today that she made FI's birthday gathering some sort of field of battle for wedding talk. It went light-hearted to serious in a heartbeat! Guys, I am not a bridezilla. The ceremony is at 4. 2-3pm for family photos and an hour to relax and do touch-ups...is that too much to ask? I really wanted 3-3:45 to gather my girls around and spend time with them. I wanted to spend a bit of time with my mother and brother and FI could spend some time with his friends and family before the ceremony too. She makes it sound like we want the moon and the stars..... I just want a small breather before the final plunge.
49 more days and we are on to the next battle (grandchildren).......