Wedding Etiquette Forum

No longer need advice.

mrsr101214mrsr101214 member
10 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
edited September 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
No longer need advice.
«13

Re: No longer need advice.

  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Why did you delete your other post and post the exact same thing?
    cbroyland said:
    My fiancé's father just remarried at the end of July (totally spur of the moment-they gave us 8 days notice). We don't really know her (she lives 13+ hours away and we had only spent 5 days with her before they got married). Are we supposed to get her a corsage now that they're married? This is his dad's wife, not his step-mom and she has no relationship with us. We are getting my fiancé's Godmother (his mom's sister) a corsage as his mom passed away 8 years ago and his aunt is doing the "mother-son" dance with him. I don't think we have to get her a corsage-and my fiancé does not want to get her one-just want everyone's opinion! Thank you!

    levioosajnrsgirlashley8918
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    You are going to get the same responses. You don't have to get her a corsage, IMO.
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    MNVegas
  • Bc I edited it because people weren't understanding that we do not feel that this is our "year". To avoid complication and confusion, I edited it and reposted... @misshart00‌
  • If I were in your shoes, I would get your FI's aunt and his godmother corasges merely because they are obviously close to your FI and are involved with some of the traditions. 

    And in IMO, you should just get your FFIL's wife a corsage as well just to be polite and take the high road. 

    Although, it seems like there may be some other underlying issue as to why you don't want to give your FFIL's wife some flowers to wear besides just not knowing her too well. Which of course I may be wrong about that as well. Just curious. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Don't sweat the small stuff. It's totally no big deal. Want to get in good graces with your new modern family? Get her one.
    perdonamiOliveOilsMomPrettyGirlLostJeeGooDowster
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited September 2014
    I still say yes.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'll say what I said in the other post. She's married to your FFIL now. Why not be nice and start out a relationship with her on the right foot? Get her a corsage. She'll probably really appreciate it.
    PrettyGirlLostluckysnorkelKauris
  • I'd get her a corsage as she is your FFIL's wife regardless of the length of the relationship. I got my FFIL's common in law wife a corsage out of respect. And she's a very sweet woman. I also got one for my fiancé's mother.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • okay, I'll now take the time to repost the answer that I posted on your original question...which was the same.

    It's $20, as a show of respect to your FFIL, get the woman a corsage and call it a day.  That's pennies to keep the peace.


    PrettyGirlLost
  • I don't care about the cost of it. She just came into our lives recently, and this has nothing to do with slighting her or proving a point. She wasn't going to get one when she was just his escort, but now that they're married, it just dawned on me that maybe I should explore the option. My fiancé isn't really keen on the idea-and we have people that we're closer to who aren't getting corsages-we feel that the corsages are for the mothers (Godmother in his case) and grandmother (aka people who play significant roles in our lives) do we feel it is awkward to give one to her.
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I also think you should just get her one. However, could FI casually ask his dad if she wants one?
    PrettyGirlLost
  • That's actually not true. I was trying to give background. I have been more than nice to her-took her (and treated her) to her prewedding mani and pedi and also did all of their music for their ceremony and reception. I have invited her to dinner and been nothing to pleasant with with her-inviting her out for an afternoon when she was around recently. I realize that while we don't see her very often-she is going to be a part of our lives, so I have made the effort. She is a nice person, but I feel it's awkward to get her a corsage as we barely know her.
  • Yep, your other post was quite judgmental re this woman. You know, nobody here cares whether or not you get a corsage for this woman you have strong negative feelings about. We're just saying it's no big deal to get her one, but it seems as though you're deliberating excluding her.

    Which is why I rephrased in this post. But, thanks.

  • cbroyland said:

    I don't care about the cost of it. She just came into our lives recently, and this has nothing to do with slighting her or proving a point. She wasn't going to get one when she was just his escort, but now that they're married, it just dawned on me that maybe I should explore the option. My fiancé isn't really keen on the idea-and we have people that we're closer to who aren't getting corsages-we feel that the corsages are for the mothers (Godmother in his case) and grandmother (aka people who play significant roles in our lives) do we feel it is awkward to give one to her.


    If this was true you wouldn't have mentioned any of the other stuff in your OP. You mentioned those feelings because they were relevant to your decision to exclude her.


    Was giving you background, but thanks.
  • JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited September 2014
    I'm with PPs who think you should get her a corsage. My dad's H was never a step-parent to me (in fact, I think I spent a total of 6 days with him before he and dad married) but he's important to my dad, a part of my dad's family and is always nice to DH and me. Including him in our wedding in a similar fashion to other parents didn't cost us a lot and made my dad happier.

    I think it's always better to be kind and inclusive. Think about how you will all feel when you look back on your wedding in 5 or 10 or 20 years.

    ETA: paragraphs
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    Anniversary


    mrsr101214PrettyGirlLost
  • AddieCake said:

    FFS, she is his father's WIFE. To me, it's not even a question whether or not she gets a corsage. How is it awkward to give her a corsage because you barely know her? You know when I met my husband's mother? At our rehearsal dinner. I didn't find it awkward to give her a corsage 14 hours later.

    But it's was ur husband's mother... So she was important in his life.

    Thanks for all the input everyone.
  • cbroyland said:


    I don't care about the cost of it. She just came into our lives recently, and this has nothing to do with slighting her or proving a point. She wasn't going to get one when she was just his escort, but now that they're married, it just dawned on me that maybe I should explore the option. My fiancé isn't really keen on the idea-and we have people that we're closer to who aren't getting corsages-we feel that the corsages are for the mothers (Godmother in his case) and grandmother (aka people who play significant roles in our lives) do we feel it is awkward to give one to her.

    She was his escort?  Really?
    image


    I didn't mean it like an "escort" I mean "now, the father of the groom, escorted by his date...:" so maybe I should've said date then.
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    cbroyland said:
    FFS, she is his father's WIFE. To me, it's not even a question whether or not she gets a corsage. How is it awkward to give her a corsage because you barely know her? You know when I met my husband's mother? At our rehearsal dinner. I didn't find it awkward to give her a corsage 14 hours later.
    But it's was ur husband's mother... So she was important in his life. Thanks for all the input everyone.
    I think in this case, the corsage should be given as she is the wife of your FI's father.  His father would be a VIP and as his date, she should be included in the corsages as a sign of respect for his father and their relationship.  It's a gesture of good faith and inclusion.
    perdonamiPrettyGirlLostluckysnorkel
  • Holy mother fucking shit! Let's keep twisting my words! Fuck this string, fuck this question, and fuck this forum!
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    cbroyland said:
    Holy mother fucking shit! Let's keep twisting my words! Fuck this string, fuck this question, and fuck this forum!
    So why don't you want to get one for her?
    PrettyGirlLostluckysnorkel
  • Because they are for people who are important to us. Moms & grandmas. She doesn't play a role in our lives. She married his dad (a month and a half ago). How can we give a corsage to a woman we basically just met, and then not give other people in our lives (who had played pivotal roles) corsages. In our opinion, corsages are for moms and grandmas (and Godmother in his case as his mom has passed). She is neither. So she's not getting one. Spoke to my wedding planner and was told just to give to my mom, his grandma, and his Godmother. Thanks for all the input though.
  • cbroyland said:
    That's actually not true. I was trying to give background. I have been more than nice to her-took her (and treated her) to her prewedding mani and pedi and also did all of their music for their ceremony and reception. I have invited her to dinner and been nothing to pleasant with with her-inviting her out for an afternoon when she was around recently. I realize that while we don't see her very often-she is going to be a part of our lives, so I have made the effort. She is a nice person, but I feel it's awkward to get her a corsage as we barely know her.
    Okay, in all honesty with how kind you have been to her, she may now be expecting one. I understand you may have good intentions, but you can't dispense kindness only when you want too. Not giving her a corsage at this point may be confusing and hurt her feelings. 

    You also keep going back and forth from saying your FI is the one who doesn't want her to havea corsage and than saying that you feel too awkward giving her one. Again, I ask if there is something else going on here besides just not knowing her as well as you would like too?
    PrettyGirlLostluckysnorkel
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