Cheap Bachelorette Party Ideas

[Deleted User]

Let me start with this. Yes, I am the bride, and I am left to planning my own bachelorette party.  I realized I'm left to plan it myself when my maid of honor asked me "what we're doing."  I know this is not proper, but none of my bridesmaids could even be bothered to come to me (or meet me) for a second fitting (I am altering their gowns myself so they don't have to pay for it), let alone plan a party for me (It looks like I will be doing their 2nd fittings at the party leaving me a week to get them all altered)...or even attend a shower thrown for me by someone else.  By the looks of it, we're just going to end up hanging out, so even calling it a bachelorette party is a stretch.

The only time I could get everyone together (presumably everyone. I still haven't heard from one of them yet--I have 4) is on a Sunday morning/early afternoon, as MOH works at 3PM.  My thoughts on what I'd like to do would be a spa day (too expensive) / getting our nails done (too far in advance of the wedding; it'd be pointless to make my bridesmaids pay to get their nails done only to have to do it over themselves (and one "maid" is a guy). Or going clubbing. On a Sunday morning, that's not happening. So I am at a complete loss at what to do.  I've looked at a few dozen ideas, and nothing sounds enjoyable for them, as they are not girly at all. The only thing I can think of is getting food somewhere very cheap. And that's like 45 minutes? Awesome party...

I asked for ideas from them a few times, only one responded and suggested wine and vinegar tasting (I don't like the taste of either) followed by paddle boating or walking around a park or stores. I'm somewhat disabled, so "walking" or other sports activities like paddle boating do not sound like a good party to me.

Ideas for what to do on a Sunday morning, other than go to church?

Liatris2010

Brunch with all you can drink champagne? Not sure if brunch is big where you are, but if it is you might be able to find a fixed price brunch menu. Should be fun and budget friendly.

[Deleted User]

I have no idea where to find brunch, though I don't even like champagne. MOH just suggested a beer place. I hate beer more than any other kind of drink. -__- EDIT: I did find a brunch place. $25 a person + tax and tip. MOH said it was too pricey for her, even with a 20% off coupon. It also didn't even include the champagne, even though they called it a "champagne" buffet.

holyguacamole79

What do you like to do? What about catching a chick flick? Or renting one? For my SILs bachelorette party, we ordered in Chinese and watched Magic Mike. She's a mom to 3 kids, so chill was the way to go for her.

[Deleted User]

Unfortunately, if I could think of something I'd like to do, I wouldn't be asking strangers for advice. I can't think of anything beyond a spa day that would cost probably $1000 a person. I've read dozens of suggestions. Watching movies would turn into a few hours of silence after spending an hour or two trying to agree on a movie. Been there, done that, did not enjoy it.

Lauderdale Pink

Right now, I think it is hard for you to think of a party idea because your heart is not really in it.  You have been dumped on and ignored by these ladies and seriously neglected.  Any idea is not going to be great because you are doing the planning and it is really a time for others to try to pamper you.  So, my suggestion is to dump them from the idea.  You said that you had a shower, hosted by somebody else.  Reach out to the lady who did that and a few of those who attended and do a mani-pedi day.  Just because the mani-pedi is not directly for the wedding does not mean a couple of hours plus maybe a bite to eat after, is too far in advance of the wedding.  It doesn't even have to be a bachelorette party, just a nice "girls day out".

southernbelle0915

You're not going to like this, but the cheapest thing is to do nothing. Especially because no one offered to plan a bachelorette for you. Not everyone has a bach, or a shower, or an engagement party, whatever. It's no biggie - you'll still have a ton of fun on your wedding day!

If someone offers to throw you a bach, some inexpensive ideas would be to:

- go get mani/pedis (these are not more than $50 where I live)

- go apple picking/go pick out pumpkins and carve them over mimosas

- pack a picnic and go to the park

- have brunch at someone's house

- take a painting class (in my area, these are BYOB and $35 for the class)

- rent tubes and float a river (if your disability would be ok with this)

- rent a pontoon boat/go on a river/lake cruise

- find a place with live music and get lunch there (free concert!)

- go out to lunch

- go bakery hopping (map out some bakeries and try something small from each shop)

Hope this helps!

ETA: ideas

misshart00

I'm curious why these are your best friends if you don't seem to like anything you do with them. That being said, I agree with PPs. Just don't have one.

climbingsingle

Invite them all over to your house. Order some takeout, drink some wine and watch movies. 

photokitty

I'd have a light brunch at my place for all of them and start it off by doing their fittings. I think you should forgo all bach party plans and just focus on getting them together to do the fitting - call it a bach party if it gets them all to show up. Then spend your free time with your FI. 

[Deleted User]

scribe95 said:

Why are you insisting on a "bachelorette?" It's okay not to have one. Many of us didn't and our weddings and marriages are still awesome.

Frankly a few hours in the morning is not going to work for much of anything. And you are shooting down absolutely everything - no winery, no beer, no champagne, no mani/pedis, no physical activity.

Just let it go.

Why do I want one? It's a good excuse to see my friends, which almost never happens because no one makes time for it. They have actually tried to make time for this (even if it's a Sunday morning). Even for birthdays, I generally would only get one friend to come (I really should have made him my "moh" I see now), so after years of disappointment, I stopped inviting people for anything within the last year, and they've not made any effort to see me.

Why does a party have to involve alcohol? I would actually love mani-pedis, but I'm not going to make them spend $50 just to have to redo them later after they spent $100 on the dress and some purchased shoes for another $20-30 for my specification of "black heels." And I can't help being disabled; I honestly wish I wasn't.

Actually, I almost eloped because of this lack of real friends problem and the disappointment I've had in the past when I host parties and literally no one shows up. I assumed people wouldn't even RSVP (and many didn't. I had an RSVP rate if 50% and after tracking people down as best as I could, I'm still missing responses from 10+ people (out of 150)), it depressed me. So I decided on eloping. But I still dreamt of a wedding with friends and family. So we changed it when I found a good deal had issues trying to plan something out of state like I wanted. Same for bachelorette party, I guess. I want to see my friends. And if we put on movies, it will just end up being silence staring at the tv which I can do just fine alone.

It's supposed to rain on the day of, so that sort of eliminates outdoor possibilities.

I'm thinking of an adult arcade with lunch there as long as everyone agrees to it. I have one yes so far. Waiting on the rest. It can be free if they want to hang out. Very cheap if they just get a drink. And $20+ if they want to eat and play games.

To answer why are they my friends, someone else asked... We met and hung out at community college. I became a part of the "anime/gamer" group somehow starting in high school despite the fact that I don't have any interest in either (perhaps they are the most friendly/accepting). I've been with that type of friends so long, it's where I feel comfortable. But other than just "hanging out," we don't have much in common. Though I don't feel like I have anything in common with anyone on a social level. Like if you ask me what I like to do, everything I list is a solo activity. Doesn't really help on the friends level. I hung out with tomboys in community college who think I'm girly. At university, I was around more girly girls (fashion design major) who thought it was awful that I wore a hoodie and no makeup every day and criticized my clothes and taste in fashion. I 26, and my next-youngest coworker is 7 years older than me. I am not comfortable with people so much older than me; I get shy and clam up. I just don't seem to fit in anywhere, and I am no longer any good at making friends. So I have stuck with the friends I have. Hope that answers your question.

southernbelle0915

Angelaandyitzi said:

Why are you insisting on a "bachelorette?" It's okay not to have one. Many of us didn't and our weddings and marriages are still awesome.

Frankly a few hours in the morning is not going to work for much of anything. And you are shooting down absolutely everything - no winery, no beer, no champagne, no mani/pedis, no physical activity.

Just let it go.

Why do I want one? It's a good excuse to see my friends, which almost never happens because no one makes time for it. They have actually tried to make time for this (even if it's a Sunday morning). Even for birthdays, I generally would only get one friend to come (I really should have made him my "moh" I see now), so after years of disappointment, I stopped inviting people for anything within the last year, and they've not made any effort to see me. 

Why does a party have to involve alcohol? I would actually love mani-pedis, but I'm not going to make them spend $50 just to have to redo them later after they spent $100 on the dress and some purchased shoes for another $20-30 for my specification of "black heels." And I can't help being disabled; I honestly wish I wasn't. 

 Actually, I almost eloped because of this lack of real friends problem and the disappointment I've had in the past when I host parties and literally no one shows up. I assumed people wouldn't even RSVP (and many didn't. I had an RSVP rate if 50% and after tracking people down as best as I could, I'm still missing responses from 10+ people (out of 150)), it depressed me. So I decided on eloping. But I still dreamt of a wedding with friends and family. So we changed it when I found a good deal had issues trying to plan something out of state like I wanted. Same for bachelorette party, I guess. I want to see my friends. And if we put on movies, it will just end up being silence staring at the tv which I can do just fine alone. 

 It's supposed to rain on the day of, so that sort of eliminates outdoor possibilities. 

 I'm thinking of an adult arcade with lunch there as long as everyone agrees to it. I have one yes so far. Waiting on the rest. It can be free if they want to hang out. Very cheap if they just get a drink. And $20+ if they want to eat and play games. 

To answer why are they my friends, someone else asked... We met and hung out at community college. I became a part of the "anime/gamer" group somehow starting in high school despite the fact that I don't have any interest in either (perhaps they are the most friendly/accepting). I've been with that type of friends so long, it's where I feel comfortable. But other than just "hanging out," we don't have much in common. Though I don't feel like I have anything in common with anyone on a social level. Like if you ask me what I like to do, everything I list is a solo activity. Doesn't really help on the friends level. I hung out with tomboys in community college who think I'm girly. At university, I was around more girly girls (fashion design major) who thought it was awful that I wore a hoodie and no makeup every day and criticized my clothes and taste in fashion. I 26, and my next-youngest coworker is 7 years older than me. I am not comfortable with people so much older than me; I get shy and clam up. I just don't seem to fit in anywhere, and I am no longer any good at making friends. So I have stuck with the friends I have. Hope that answers your question.

I'm sorry that you are unsatisfied with your social circumstances. Have you ever seen the movie "Yes Man"? I think you should rent it. 

You got a ton of suggestions here that will work for your circumstances, the weather and your group if you want to have this party. You're welcome, by the way. 

ElcaB

Brunch! Mimosas! A DIY-spa day! Hiking! 

climbingsingle

I'm really at a loss. We tried to give you suggestions and you pretty much shot everything down. So...good luck? I don't know. If you're unhappy with your social situation, CHANGE IT. Learn to make friends. 

y co-worker is 26 and I'm 33. And we happily go out for happy hour drinks together. It's really not a huge age difference. 

climbingsingle

And if you're unhappy with your friends and you end up disappointed at every social event, why are you insisting on a bach party? 

[Deleted User]

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I'm really at a loss. We tried to give you suggestions and you pretty much shot everything down. So...good luck? I don't know. If you're unhappy with your social situation, CHANGE IT. Learn to make friends. 

y co-worker is 26 and I'm 33. And we happily go out for happy hour drinks together. It's really not a huge age difference. 

I'm just very uncomfortable with new people since I've realized how socially awkward I am. I've coped by being silent. Can't say awkward things when you're silent. Also, all my coworkers are full time. I am a part time employee who misses group meetings twice a month and am only there for 4 hours at a time, during which I am working. They take hour lunches together to socialize. I get a 10 minute break to go to the bathroom and fill up my water bottle.

ClimbingBrideNY said:

And if you're unhappy with your friends and you end up disappointed at every social event, why are you insisting on a bach party? 

I'm not disappointed at every social event. I've been disappointed in the past at my social events because NO ONE SHOWED UP. Wouldn't you think that's disappointing? I did have one successful one in 2012, but not since then. I had a lot of fun when others hosted them, but they've stopped hosting. The only thing I'm invited to anymore is square dancing, which gives me anxiety because I can't keep up with everyone else. I'm fine with my friends. We just have nothing in common, so it's making finding something to do for this event difficult, as every party revolves around alcohol, athletics, or is pricey. I've already decided on an arcade, though now one bridesmaid says she can't afford it, even though it's not any more expensive than the beer place she suggested to eat at. And my "bridesman" is still trying to get off work Sunday, so I may still not have them all there; I don't know how people have 10 bridesmaids and get them to show up at everything. I'm having trouble with 4.

ElcaB said:

Brunch! Mimosas! A DIY-spa day! Hiking! 

Read the thread or at least the question. As a disabled person, I cannot hike. I don't like alcohol. And I would love a spa day, but it is quite expensive (and I doubt they would enjoy). We were trying to find a good brunch place that doesn't cost $25 per person, but we haven't found one yet. The best we found were greasy diners like Waffle House.

Liatris2010

Part of a gamer crowd? Why not have a game day? You can do it in someone's home, which would be very cheap, or go out to play a game. I've been seeing game dens (I have no idea what they are actually called) that have tables set up for people to play games, they sell games and cards and comics. Seems like it might be fun. There are also gamer pubs now were you can borrow a game, eat, and drink. Seems like something your crowd might be in to.

Otherwise, just skip the party. I'm sorry your friends disappoint you, but if that is the case, it is time to make new friends.

artbyallie

Karaoke? Or hell, just sit at home with snacks and movies. Watch 27 Dresses.

Really, the way you're coming up with an excuse for everything seems to tell me just why your MOH isn't doing the planning for this.

southernbelle0915

artbyallie said:

Karaoke? Or hell, just sit at home with snacks and movies. Watch 27 Dresses.

Really, the way you're coming up with an excuse for everything seems to tell me just why your MOH isn't doing the planning for this.

So much this. 

OP, if you're just going to see the negative in every idea people spend their time presenting to you then there is no helping you. Good luck.

climbingsingle

artbyallie said:

Karaoke? Or hell, just sit at home with snacks and movies. Watch 27 Dresses.

Really, the way you're coming up with an excuse for everything seems to tell me just why your MOH isn't doing the planning for this.

I think this is right on the money. 

[Deleted User]

Not at all actually. She doesn't realize it's traditionally her job. I gave them all5 tasks for the wedding to make it easy on them: Be at shower, rehearsal, and wedding, get dress, and get fitted in August, though I couldn't get all of them to do any of those. They are not "wedding" people and hardly support the idea of marriage. I planned everything without help and was my own shoulder to lean on when stressed because I didn't want to bother them.

I am looking for something not so every day to do that doesn't involve athletics or alcohol, since I am disabled and don't drink. Just because I don't like every idea doesn't mean I would shoot a good one down. I did research before posting my question. I was hoping for some original ideas, not just the same 10 ideas that are posted all over the internet.

I'm not actually a gamer, as I said, so a game night sounds terrible. They can play Dungeons and Dragons, and I'll sit in the corner too shy to role play.

Too shy and bad at singing for karaoke, just like D&D. I do not find embarrassing myself fun.

I have tried to make new friends several times, but at my age, everyone already has their group of friends, and it all starts with small talk, which I am terrible at. People talk to me, and all my idiot brain can think of is to smile and make awkward laughs and maybe a "yeah" here and there in response.

And of course I'm depressed. Obviously. I've lived in basically solitary confinement for 2 years because no one will make time for me. Thanks for noticing.

But...also as I previously said... I found an idea. Thanks anyway.

AddieCake

So....what's the idea you found? I would like to know.

artbyallie

*puts on armchair psychiatrist hat*

Have you been evaluated for ASD? I mean, perhaps you're just extremely introverted or generally poorly socialized, but whether it's that or something inherent, there are ways to work on that.

It seems self-evident in your posts why no one will make time for you if you don't ever try and do anything with them and are too shy to ever open your mouth.

No one gets better at socializing without practice.

climbingsingle

Angelaandyitzi said:

Not at all actually. She doesn't realize it's traditionally her job. I gave them all5 tasks for the wedding to make it easy on them: Be at shower, rehearsal, and wedding, get dress, and get fitted in August, though I couldn't get all of them to do any of those. They are not "wedding" people and hardly support the idea of marriage. I planned everything without help and was my own shoulder to lean on when stressed because I didn't want to bother them.

I am looking for something not so every day to do that doesn't involve athletics or alcohol, since I am disabled and don't drink. Just because I don't like every idea doesn't mean I would shoot a good one down. I did research before posting my question. I was hoping for some original ideas, not just the same 10 ideas that are posted all over the internet.

I'm not actually a gamer, as I said, so a game night sounds terrible. They can play Dungeons and Dragons, and I'll sit in the corner too shy to role play.

Too shy and bad at singing for karaoke, just like D&D. I do not find embarrassing myself fun.

I have tried to make new friends several times, but at my age, everyone already has their group of friends, and it all starts with small talk, which I am terrible at. People talk to me, and all my idiot brain can think of is to smile and make awkward laughs and maybe a "yeah" here and there in response.

And of course I'm depressed. Obviously. I've lived in basically solitary confinement for 2 years because no one will make time for me. Thanks for noticing.

But...also as I previously said... I found an idea. Thanks anyway.

Her job? Really? Are you paying her? Your bridesmaids are not required to be at your shower, or bach party or rehearsal.

This all makes sense now. No wonder they don't want to plan/spend the day with you.

chibiyui

I think you should talk to a doctor about your social anxiety and depression. 

kaos16

The reason you are seeing the same 10 ideas over and over wherever you look is because they are probably fun, generally liked ideas.  Something doesn't have to be brand new and never heard of before to be fun.

I'll throw in a few ideas for you to shoot down too. . . . . a DIY-crafting day.  Puzzles and board games with snacks.  Plan something you want to do.  If someone can't make it, oh well.  If someone thinks that another idea would be more fun, oh well.

All of your follow posts look like you are looking for sympathy. . . . and I get it, it sucks to feel like an outcast or a loner but if you aren't willing to make some effort, any effort at all, to change your position it will become more and more difficult for those around you to be around you.  We all deal with sucky situations at times, some more than others. . . . . . . it's the giving up that's the problem.

Good luck to you.

emanon321

Go to one of those places you can paint your own pottery? Many will let you select which pieces your group can paint so you can make sure someone doesn't pick the giant $40 cookie jar or something.

As a long time member of an anime/gamer group, board games are always a hit. Since it's a Sunday morning, get your girls together for dress fitting, breakfast foods such as donuts, danish's, bacon, build your own sundae's, what-have-you, and some social board games. Maybe Pictionary, Charades, or Apples to Apples.

Loaded Questions is a great mild get-to-know-you (or get-to-know-you-better) type of game. You can socialize, but the game does all the work for you by picking topics and questions. Spice it up for a bachelorette party by getting Loaded Questions Adult Version (it's still pretty mild, but probably not comfortable for a party with grandparents and what-not)

For a bachelorette party in my group, we played PervArtisty. So that's an adult game like Pictionary, where someone draws the theme on the card and the teams yell out what they think it is. Get even more daring by making it into a charades version and act out what's on the card. Super embarrassing for some cards, but freaking hilarious. (We still have inside jokes from that night) So maybe not the version for you with your shyness. But it is a lot of fun if you can work through it.

tammym1001

I like the idea of board games and I would also throw card games in there. I love to get together with my friends and play cards and chit chat and have snacks. That is cheap and you could play several different games to suit everyone's taste. It's also an event that people can come and go when they need to so everyone doesn't need to be there the entire time.

littlemushroom

Board games like Life or the games you played as kids like Mall Madness or Candyland or Dream Phone or Scrabble. Or play trivia games like Trivial Pursuit in teams. Card games like Crazy Eights, poker, Go Fish, War. Spades/Hearts. Video games like Wii bowling or Mario Kart. My friends and I get together to play Wii games including Mario Party all the time.

I also love the adult arcade idea. My DH and I did that on our honeymoon and had a blast!

Honestly though, when my friends and I haven't gotten together for a long time we just sit on the couch or around the table with soda and snacks and just talk. Catch up on what's been going on and reminisce about stuff. Or we go to a diner, get a milkshake and chat. It may not be exciting, but we just enjoy each others company.

[Deleted User]

We went to an adult arcade and had a lot of fun. Thanks for the ideas, though my boss's was the winner.

southernbelle0915

Angelaandyitzi said:

We went to an adult arcade and had a lot of fun.

Thanks for the ideas, though my boss's was the winner.

Very glad you had a good time!