Refresh My Memory..

rnsoon

So I posted a whiny "talk me off the ledge.." post not long ago. I got a timeline out of BF! I am guessing he will propose to me AT deployment homecoming early next year. He didn't say that, but he has mentioned he would like to do that in the past to kind of blow me out of the water, as he's not the romantic type (and believes I think he doesn't know how to be, which may be true lol).


Anyway, he brought up the discussion of what we wanted our wedding to be like. I, of course, obliged. Woman-boner full on! He said he wanted a small ceremony with our parents (who we would obviously feed) and then down the road a big party in lieu of the whole big ceremony/big reception shindig. This party would be us renting a venue, having drinks, food, music, all hosted by us. No wedding dress, no registry, no ceremony "do-over", just a big party with friends.


I KNOW there has been a topic somewhere like this, but I've failed at the search feature as always. I can't for the life of me decide if this would be deemed an etiquette faux pas or not! Come to my rescue, Ladies of The Knot!

Edited because I can't grammar tonight!

twitterbird

I believe the thread you were looking for is the Pretty Princess Day one (PPD). What you are doing does not sound like a PPD and seems fine to me.

rnsoon

I just feel like this has been asked, or something to this effect, in a separate thread.

Thanks for the reply! Just wanting to ask opinions on BF's idea.

esstee33

So long as you're not trying to have a do-over ceremony, this sounds wonderful. 

CMGragain

That plan is not a problem.  However, you DO need to have a small reception, perhaps dinner at a restaurant, for any guests, including parents, that attend your ceremony.

cowgirl8238

Your plan sounds just fine.  Although I don't see the reason for it...it is etiqutte approved.

RebeccaFlower

That's fine. However, I will throw out there that I think throwing your own anniversary party is really attention whore, but as long as you host properly, it is etiquette approved. 

Also, I've heard of probably half a dozen people getting married and having a party after and not one couple has actually done it, life just gets in the way, so plan your wedding how you want it. Small can still be beautiful and feel like you're not missing out on anything.

Bubblegum5586

cowgirl8238 said:

Your plan sounds just fine.  Although I don't see the reason for it...it is etiqutte approved.

I also don't get it. Why not just plan the wedding and big party all at once? What is the reasoning behind this? I can't imagine it is less work or less money? Everything is just getting spread out.

JCbride2015

Not a PPD if you're honest and not re-enacting the ceremony.

But I still don't see the purpose.  If you're going to throw a big party anyway, why not do it at the same time?

ShesSoCold

I agree with most PPs - nothing etiquette-ly incorrect but I don't see a reason for it. 

If you're going to "celebrate your marrige", why not just get married then? 

artbyallie

Why the hell does he want to do a big party later? Two parties are always more expensive than one. Why can't you just invite your friends to the wedding and host everyone at the same time? It doesn't have to be fancy or anything just because it's a wedding. You don't have to register either if you don't want to (though we do generally advise at least a small one to accommodate those guests who feel they absolutely must give something physical).