Shopping with the FI, anyone have experience with this?

badbnagdway

I'm trying to be budget conscious on my dress. I want to get myself all outfitted and altered for about $1,200. 

I started off by ordering some gowns from retailers who do bridal and having an at-home wedding dress session with two friends. It was fun. I liked some of what I tried but didn't end up keeping any of the dresses. I almost kept one ballgown from JCrew that I thought was almost right. I kept wanting to ask FI's opinion on it but didn't. My sister is another person whose opinion I trust but she lives too far away. 

There's a bridal shop here in town that carries a line I like and specifically a gown I've been eyeing. I'm tempted to go try on dresses with the FI this time. I know this is not commonly done and that the gown is a surprise. I do think that is fun but I also wish I had FI's opinion. He is not a fashion guy himself, but when I'm getting ready he is good at helping me pick between dresses. Knowing that he likes the way I look in something makes me feel even more confident about it. I'm not sure I would tell him which one I picked, but would like to get his take on the general style of the dress. 

Has anyone tried dresses on with their FI? How did that go? What do you see as the pros and cons? 

missdelilah

Here's my opinion on this, if it helps.  Unless you're buying off the rack, FI doesn't actually see your dress anyway.  He sees a very poorly fitting copy of your dress.  You will totally different in a size that fits, and has been tailored for you.  So, that's how you sidestep the FI seeing you in your dress issue if that's bothering anyone.  Yeah, it's sort of cheating, but I know other women here have done it, and say, take him along if you really want his opinion, but keep in mind that he may not be great (and I wasn't) at imagining what a poorly fitting sample translates into a perfectly fitting gown.  I just gave up and purchased mine based on similarities to dresses I own and love, and a silhouette I knew would be flattering when tailored.  Personally, I didn't want to take FI, although he was desperate to come.  He has no idea what's flattering on me and I would have had to waste a lot of time trying on styles that I knew flat out wouldn't work - and before everyone rips in to me here about not being open minded, let's face it, you all know which shapes look good on you and which don't.  

I know other women here have done it.  I wish I could remember who so that I could tag them in.  I'm sure someone else will be more helpful on that front.

vulpiepop

FI went along with me when I was dress shopping. I don't think it's a big deal and if you still want it to be a surprise, you could just not tell him which one you're going with. I ended up coming in the next day without FI to buy the dress that I liked.

Besides that, I don't know about your or your FI but FI can't remember any of the dresses from that day and I can only recall a couple of the dresses very vaguely. Your FI may forget what dresses you tried on and will still be surprised by the dress you wear on your wedding day.

So I guess when it comes to pros and cons:

Pros: you get FI's opinion, you get to see his face when you try on certain dresses, you may get an idea of what he likes

Cons: your FI may be disinterested or bored the whole time, he may have no opinion on the dresses, he may get uncomfortable (the other brides there kept giving FI dirty looks so he got really uncomfortable and left towards the end)

blabla89

If you and your FI are both comfortable with going dress shopping together, then go for it - who cares about the tradition. Another bride posted on here recently saying she had a great time dress shopping with her FI.

amelisha

We looked online together, ordered it together, and after it arrived, I've tried it on for him several times.

I didn't really care about the dress but I cared what he and my mother would think, so I asked him if he minded seeing it ahead of time and he said no. I didn't want to get something he didn't like because we have very different opinions on how I should dress normally (I like to be very covered up; he likes everything low-cut and tight....) I just told him to think about whether my mom would have a heart attack if she saw it, and with that guidance he picked out the dress he liked best.

It worked for us. He likes it, the older generation will like it, and so I'm happy. I don't get tradition for the sake of tradition. Do what makes you happy if it's not going to make other people sad, you know?

badbnagdway

These are all very helpful thoughts, ladies. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in considering having FI there with me. I'm going to talk to him about it tonight and see if he would like to go. I'm sure he will say I look beautiful in whatever I pick out but his opinion is important to me and he knows me so well. 

JennyColada

Fi went with me to my very first dress appointment (I knew that I'd get frustrated and cry, so I needed his support). I went to 2 other places alone and 1 appointment with my mom and two friends. The appointment that I went to with mom/friends was actually my least favorite.

I ended up ordering a dress online (Jcrew!), and was so worried that Fi would hate it so I tried it on for him.

I was weary and, like you mentioned, wanted it to be a surprise. But think of it this way: I've seen Fi in his "wedding suit", but it's going to be SO different seeing him in it as my husband!