Chit Chat

Brother's Girlfriend - WWYD?

2»

Re: Brother's Girlfriend - WWYD?

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    bc+rw16 said:
    bc+rw16 said:
    As somebody who totally calls her siblings sis and brother more than their actual names, I don't find it weird other than they've only been dating a short time. I call FI's younger sister(A) sis because she started it and it just doesn't feel weird, I guess? His other sister(J) I do sometimes, but not like I do with A. I call them my sisters in law to other people just because it's easier? 
    It's just presumptuous. 

    And she probably has no idea that I was so close to my brother's ex-wife.  She was one of my bridesmaids.  Their split really upset me.  So, I'm very cautious to get too close to my any brother's girlfriends since the divorce.
    Probably not. How old is she? Maybe I'd just sit her down and tell her what's up? 
    I'm not sure ... late 20s?  My brother is 32 and I'm 35.  I'll just kindly correct her if she does it.  I'm really not keen on sitting her down to talk.
    I get you were really close to his ex wife and their split hurt, but to me it just seems like you really don't want to get to know her and are willing to let any little thing about her bother you. JMO.
    No, not really.  The first time I met her, I actually liked her.  She said a few things that night that caused me to raise an eyebrow, but nothing terrible.  She & my brother met us for dinner for my birthday, and I enjoyed her company.  I honestly don't know what possessed her to call me "sis" and call my husband "bro".  It just really rubs me the wrong way.
  • My new sister in laws call me 'sis' all the time. It drives me crazy. I always call them by their first names and never say anything to them. I feel I might offend them if I say anything, so I just deal with it.

    My husband's family are also a huge bunch of huggers. Unless it's my H, I don't want anyone touching me. But again, I don't say anything because I don't want to rock the boat

    I'm not a push over, but since what they are doing isnt actually offensive, i'll just continue to keep my mouth shut over these things.
  • lightningsnowlightningsnow New Hampshire member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    One of my SsIL calls me sis. But she's very much like a sister to me anyway so I don't mind it. If the other one did so though, I may be uncomfortable with it. Some people are like that. If it happens again, you should just correct her and laugh about it.
    Formerly known as bubbles053009





  • bc+rw16 said:
    As somebody who totally calls her siblings sis and brother more than their actual names, I don't find it weird other than they've only been dating a short time. I call FI's younger sister(A) sis because she started it and it just doesn't feel weird, I guess? His other sister(J) I do sometimes, but not like I do with A. I call them my sisters in law to other people just because it's easier? 
    It's just presumptuous. 

    And she probably has no idea that I was so close to my brother's ex-wife.  She was one of my bridesmaids.  Their split really upset me.  So, I'm very cautious to get too close to my any brother's girlfriends since the divorce.
    I feel you!  My oldest brothers first wife was "my sister." I knew her since I was 9, so she really was like the sister I never had. I was the MOH. When they got a divorce I was devestated!  It has been really hard to get close to any of his new girlfriends... and it has been years.  His ex and I stayed friends for about 2 years after but it just was too hard for her so we eventually drifted a part but re connected when I got engaged/married.

     I would freak out if his new girlfriend called me "sis," especially that early in the game.  For one, it is odd, I do not call any of my SIL anything other than their first names.  When I was dating H his SIL and I became close so we of course would have our "it will be so much fun if we became sisters" but was that was after our relationship was solid and past the "new girlfriend stage." 

    I would laugh it off, and if she continues just say you would preferred to be called Sarah since right now she is not your sister. 
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    erinlin25, I feel so much better that you validated that!!  My therapist actually agreed that it's wise of me to keep some healthy emotional distance from my brother's girlfriends while they are in this early stage of the relationship.   But, yeah - the divorce sucked and I definitely lost a friend in it.
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Whew. She didn't call me "sis." She called my mom "mom," which got a weird look. But I didn't have to be awkward. I just had to ask her to smoke her e-cig outside. Thanks!
    beetherysteph861falsara
  • Just ignore it.  She won't last long if she keeps this up.
    Your brother needs a few years to heal after a divorce.  Cut him some slack.
  • I'm glad it worked out for you but honestly this wouldn't bother me. I wouldn't assume she was trying too hard though. I would just think she was a really affectionate person. Then again I call my bff's parents mums and pops and my BIL has called me sis since he first met me. Some people are just like that.
  • Seems like you already resolved this to an extent but I don't think you need to feel obligated to host something either way, but it is a nice gesture.

    I don't know all of the details about your brother's girlfriend, but I wonder how awkward this will be. I know some people aren't bothered by showers for 2nd children but I find them tacky. I've declined invitations to these.  Also, if she's not close to friends or family, I would wonder who would be invited, and how awkward it would be to make the guest list.

     If anything is done, I'd just leave it at a quiet family party, and let them take part in the guest list.




  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Omg, thanks @beethery. I've never seen GoT, but I love that gif. Apparently she asked my dad if she can call him "Pop". He said "just call me by my first name."
    Who does this after dating somebody for a few months?! I'll bet she's fishing for a ring from your bro as well.
    This is what scares me.  When they visited my parents over Labor Day, she apparently confided in my mom regarding some sensitive stuff.  It's not clear if my brother knows this information yet.  And it's not good.

    *sigh*.  I'm just hoping she drops the whole "sis" act.
    Oh??

    It's Tuesday, I'm bored. . . spill!!!!!!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    lkristenj
  • beethery said:
    Laugh it off.  And say, "Oh stop that!  Call me Sarah!"
    This or respond back with "Hey Melissa*!"  Maybe she will eventually get the hint that you, in fact, do not think of her as a sister and would appreciate her not calling you sis.

    *I made up the name Melissa, just insert whatever her name actually is.
    Honestly, if her name isn't Melissa, call her Melissa lol.

    Maybe she'll get the hint.
    I don't have anything additional to add, but this popped into my head:
    image
    beetheryashley8918
  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha The Midwestern tundra member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Ew, that's awkward. 
    I call MIL momma and FSIL sis, but we're really close.
  • This is such overkill. Since when is responding to excessive kindness with snarky comments a good life choice?

    Ask her to call you by name and let go of the whole their split hurt me crap. Not your business to be passing judgment on this girl over your brother 'a choices.
    QueerFemmeashley8918
  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited November 2014
    I think I would chalk this up to annoying but pretty harmless. You can always tell her you really dislike the term "sis" and would prefer to be called Kristan.

    Edited: For accuracy
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited November 2014

    This is such overkill. Since when is responding to excessive kindness with snarky comments a good life choice?

    Ask her to call you by name and let go of the whole their split hurt me crap. Not your business to be passing judgment on this girl over your brother 'a choices.

    Um, thanks. I honestly am not a fan of hers. I liked her okay the first time I met her. She responded with "excessive kindness" by helping me do dishes after dinner. I don't consider giving someone a nickname that implies a family relationship that isn't there to exactly be "excessive kindness". The whole "sis" thing just bothered me, in addition to a few other things she has said & done. I also liked the girlfriend he dated before this woman.

    My brother's life choices have nothing to do with this. And now that they are starting a family together, I know she will be in my life for a while longer.
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    lc07 said:
    I think I would chalk this up to annoying but pretty harmless. You can always tell her you really dislike the term "sis" and would prefer to be called Kristan.

    Edited: For accuracy
    Luckily she hasn't done it since then.  But if she does, I will certainly do that.  Thanks!
    lc07
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards