Wedding Invitations & Paper

Sending invitations (another post got me thinking)

kimberly0315kimberly0315 member
Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
edited September 2014 in Wedding Invitations & Paper
I need some input on my invitation timeline. Here's a bit of background information. 

 We are having a DW in Hawaii. It is the most central place for us to get married as FI and I are from 2 different continents. Hawaii is in the middle and was the best choice and compromise for family and friends. It's not a huge wedding as everyone will be travelling and we pretty much know who is coming because people have started booking flights and hotels. Saying this, there are a few we aren't sure about, which is fine. 

 We are getting married at the end of March. We have to give the caterer a head count 45 days out. Yes, 45 days which I thought was a lot but that's the way it is! 

 This means I need to let them know by mid February. I would like the have the RSVP's due back to me by the first week in February so I have a week to chase up anyone who didn't send them back. I know you usually send them 6-8 weeks prior to the wedding, but this will not really allow me enough time. Should I post them the first week in January after the holidays are done and finished? I feel this will give guests several weeks to RSVP. The wedding coordinator suggested we post them before the holidays (end of November before all of the holiday cards). I feel this is way to early and people will forget to RSVP with the holidays. Thoughts? 

 I know I have plenty of time to decide, but we will be ordering our invitations in the next month or so and I am trying to get an idea about when to post them.


(Edited because it keeps eating my paragraphs)

Re: Sending invitations (another post got me thinking)

  • Honestly?  I would work on negotiating with the venue/caterer.  A 45 day numbers deadline means you need at least a week more than that for stragglers and following up on missing RSVPs.  It's not reasonable.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You need to talk to the venue and figure this out.  Soft numbers 45 days out is reasonable, but a firm headcount that early is impractical.

    There's no polite (or even rude) way to get accurate RSVPs from guests 2 months in advance.
  • dolewhipperdolewhipper [wh]orlando member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    This is what happened with my bff's cruise wedding. They require a 45 days out firm headcount. We realized by 45 days out everyone who was going to go already had their cabins booked. IDK how it is when traveling from your Fi's country of origin, but if they need passports/visas you may know a few months in advance who will be coming from that side before 45 days out. As far as those from the states, most people will purchase their flights to HI a couple months in advance. 

    May I suggest XP to the DW board? They may be of better help. Although very impractical, the invites for my friends' cruise really didn't serve a purpose rather than for formalities. Everyone who is going on the cruise (which is in 6 days) knew before the invites were even sent. She sent them 9 weeks out and had the RSVP 47 days before the final headcount was needed. 


  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Tell the venue that 45 days is impossible.  If the venue has a quota (say, you have to invite a minimum number of guests to get a specific deal), then it stands to lose money if it tries to force you into a situation where guests may change their answers at the last minute due to work, school, or other commitments that they just don't know about until after the 45 day deadline.
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