Wearing white to a wedding.

melbenso

I generally don't care at all if someone wears white to a wedding, provided the dress doesn't look like a wedding dress.  White/off-white/cream sundress or cocktail dress (especially with some sort of pattern on the dress) - meh - maybe a little odd, but I really don't care.

I would side eye someone like crazy if they wore a white ball gown type dress to a wedding though.

And honestly, if this hadn't been pointed out to you ahead of time, you probably wouldn't even notice.  There were two people who wore shorts to my wedding, which I generally would side eye as a guest.  I didn't even notice until I got the wedding photos back.  And I had long conversations with each of them at the reception.

pinkcow13

Ndelible said:

I do not get the obsession with women wearing white to weddings.  

1. Other colors used to be verboten, such as black or red, is white the last wall?  Why not let it fall?
2. There are many dress choices in white, especially the last couple of seasons.  White lace even.
3. Why care about someone else getting side eyed?  Their choice of attire, their circus.
4. If someone wants to dress up like a slu-dog...  Oh well, they gonna do what they do.
5. Don't we all have something better to do?

No one is obsessed. In fact, I think most, if not all brides (and brides to be) here said they did or would not even notice a guest wearing white at their particular wedding. And as guests who have notice and side eyed, none of us went up to a woman wearing white and berated or attacked her. This is just a topic for discussion, some fun, and personal opinion.

I'm sure we all have something to do, but this IS a forum to discuss anything from the most serious topics, to the silliest ones. It's not that serious. We can all move on to the next discussion if we're not into this one.

photokitty

To this day I judge a co-worker over this issue...5 years later it's all I think of when I see her.

She had been coming to me for wedding etiquette advice through the process of her boyfriend's daughter getting married...she ask me if it was OK is you wore a floor length antique lace dress to the wedding that she kept in siting was not white, but off white, almost beige. I insisted this was not appropriate and as the FOB's date this would be in very poor taste...she did it any way. I told her not to ask my advice if she wasn't going to take it.

My wedding, I couldn't tell you what people wore...other people's weddings - I judge this in all white hard...it's guest tacky, rude equivalent to the cash bar in my mind!

banana468

As a bride I didn't care what guests wore but I noticed a guest in a full length off-white sheath at a wedding when DH and I were guests.

I feel like a good rule for women is that white dress is not that versatile and it should NOT be the only option in your closet.

theartistformerlyknownas

banana468 said:

As a bride I didn't care what guests wore but I noticed a guest in a full length off-white sheath at a wedding when DH and I were guests. 

  I feel like a good rule for women is that white dress is not that versatile and it should NOT be the only option in your closet.

In addition to this... I honestly don't even think it looks good on most people. I think 99% of the time, the only time an all white* dress looks good is when it's a wedding dress. So it should really not be that damn difficult to reserve all-white dresses for weddings. Wear a different damn color and you'll look better anyway.

*included in my definition of "white" - pure white, diamond white, antique white, ivory, ecru, off-white, eggshell, cream and bone.

KatieinBkln

PrettyGirlLost said:

There's a huge difference between wearing this (patterned dress with a white background):


And This:


Personally I don't care what people wear to my wedding - it's a reflection of them, not me.  I would never wear white to a wedding, unless specifically requested to (example: if I was a bridesmaid and the bride wanted us in white).

And there's a difference why? Because neither dress looks bridal. What is the logic a behind your judgement anyways? Seems it's just based on assumptions. You all assuming the guest is being an AW. In my mind you can't yell at SS' s for trying to impose attire restrictions on guests or writing any attire info on invitations if you sit in the pews and try to cast shade at other guests over their attire choices. I'm not attacking you all, just making points trying to get you to reconsider your sartorial snark.

I mean, of course you can! Because sitting in a pew throwing shade with your cousins/friends is both fun and harmless, whereas imposing dress restrictions or writing attire info in an invite is actively rude and causing harm. I am not on board with any idea that says I can't be a bitch in my own mind/among friends. Where on earth would my bitchiness GO if I can't keep it inside/private? This is how we manage to be decent in public!

beethery

KatieinBkln said:

I mean, of course you can! Because sitting in a pew throwing shade with your cousins/friends is both fun and harmless, whereas imposing dress restrictions or writing attire info in an invite is actively rude and causing harm. I am not on board with any idea that says I can't be a bitch in my own mind/among friends. Where on earth would my bitchiness GO if I can't keep it inside/private? This is how we manage to be decent in public!

Damn straight. I will side-eye and have my own chuckles about AWness if I want to, and let whatever omnipresent/omniscient being help whoever thinks they're going to scold the bitch mode out of me because it is never. going. to. happen. I will bitch or side-eye or do what-thefuck-ever when I feel like it. Devil take the fuckin hindmost.

climbingsingle

beethery said:

KatieinBkln said:

I mean, of course you can! Because sitting in a pew throwing shade with your cousins/friends is both fun and harmless, whereas imposing dress restrictions or writing attire info in an invite is actively rude and causing harm. I am not on board with any idea that says I can't be a bitch in my own mind/among friends. Where on earth would my bitchiness GO if I can't keep it inside/private? This is how we manage to be decent in public!

Damn straight. I will side-eye and have my own chuckles about AWness if I want to, and let whatever omnipresent/omniscient being help whoever thinks they're going to scold the bitch mode out of me because it is never. going. to. happen. I will bitch or side-eye or do what-thefuck-ever when I feel like it. Devil take the fuckin hindmost.

PrettyGirlLost

Good Lord,

beethery said:

KatieinBkln said:

I mean, of course you can! Because sitting in a pew throwing shade with your cousins/friends is both fun and harmless, whereas imposing dress restrictions or writing attire info in an invite is actively rude and causing harm. I am not on board with any idea that says I can't be a bitch in my own mind/among friends. Where on earth would my bitchiness GO if I can't keep it inside/private? This is how we manage to be decent in public!

Damn straight. I will side-eye and have my own chuckles about AWness if I want to, and let whatever omnipresent/omniscient being help whoever thinks they're going to scold the bitch mode out of me because it is never. going. to. happen. I will bitch or side-eye or do what-thefuck-ever when I feel like it. Devil take the fuckin hindmost.

Lol



We can have a shade- off.

Ndelible

ClimbingBrideNY said: Ndelible said: I do not get the obsession with women wearing white to weddings.  
Other colors used to be verboten, such as black or red, is white the last wall?  Why not let it fall?There are many dress choices in white, especially the last couple of seasons.  White lace even.Why care about someone else getting side eyed?  Their choice of attire, their circus.If someone wants to dress up like a slu-dog...  Oh well, they gonna do what they do.Don't we all have something better to do? Well, it's not really an obsession. I only started this post because a guest asked if she could wear a white dress. 
As for the bolded, it's a forum. This is what we do. We discuss things.  I'm talking about being so worried about it in the context of the actual weddings, not so much this thread.  Our society's view of "no white at weddings..."  That's what I'm puzzled by.

hellosweetie1015

@prettygirllost that Black Swan gif scared the everloving piss out of me. I mean, at first I was like, WHOA scary and then for some reason I couldn't take my eyes off it and it got SO.MUCH.SCARIER.

I don't even know. 

Inkdancer

lolo883 said:

banana468 said:

As a bride I didn't care what guests wore but I noticed a guest in a full length off-white sheath at a wedding when DH and I were guests. 

  I feel like a good rule for women is that white dress is not that versatile and it should NOT be the only option in your closet.

In addition to this... I honestly don't even think it looks good on most people. I think 99% of the time, the only time an all white* dress looks good is when it's a wedding dress. So it should really not be that damn difficult to reserve all-white dresses for weddings. Wear a different damn color and you'll look better anyway.

*included in my definition of "white" - pure white, diamond white, antique white, ivory, ecru, off-white, eggshell, cream and bone.

Honestly, I think I look pretty damn good in white. H kind of breaks and can't make words every time I wear it. But is white the only option in my closet? Hells no. And I sure wouldn't wear white to somebody else's wedding.

Chipmunk415

My dress was ivory. I had a guest show up in a knee length, eyelet patterned white dress with a blue cardigan. I didn't notice until 3/4ths of the way through the reception.

It didn't bug me because a) it was obvious I was the bride, and b) this person is a real sweetheart, a very old friend of my dad's (DH and I have a standing invitation to visit her condo on Hilton Head Island), and has admitted herself that she can be a dingbat about remembering "rules" on attire. 

 Honestly, I was more annoyed at my sister for wearing the very casual dress she wore to our brother's RD the prior year, but that was because her wedding attire for brother's wedding was "supposedly" the only super nice dress she had that nieces insisted she wear on special occasions, and wasn't it convenient, that dress matched Brother and SIL's wedding colors, much the way SIL's sister and SIL managed to wear dresses in the wedding colors?

That chapped me, as Brother and Sister are my older half siblings, Brother and SIL chose only to have FGs, and I deliberately chose a non wedding colored dress to not look desperate/stand out as trying to be in the wedding party. It felt like I was an outsider to them.

PrettyGirlLost

CaitTDid23 said:

@prettygirllost that Black Swan gif scared the everloving piss out of me. I mean, at first I was like, WHOA scary and then for some reason I couldn't take my eyes off it and it got SO.MUCH.SCARIER.

I don't even know. 

I will pay your co-pay if you now need to go to therapy for reading this thread, lol.

However as an aside, I really liked the movie.  It was artsy and kind of cool.  If you like ballet or the actors in general, check it out.

pinkcow13

Ndelible said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Ndelible said:

I do not get the obsession with women wearing white to weddings.  

1. Other colors used to be verboten, such as black or red, is white the last wall?  Why not let it fall?
2. There are many dress choices in white, especially the last couple of seasons.  White lace even.
3. Why care about someone else getting side eyed?  Their choice of attire, their circus.
4. If someone wants to dress up like a slu-dog...  Oh well, they gonna do what they do.
5. Don't we all have something better to do?

Well, it's not really an obsession. I only started this post because a guest asked if she could wear a white dress. 

As for the bolded, it's a forum. This is what we do. We discuss things. 

I'm talking about being so worried about it in the context of the actual weddings, not so much this thread.  Our society's view of "no white at weddings..."  That's what I'm puzzled by.

SITB

I guess it's kinda like the "no white after labor day" "rule." I don't know what that's about, either, but that is one that I don't follow nor care about. I guess with weddings our society has the whole"Only the bride wears white!" mentality.

Ndelible

I wear white all year round.

VulgarGirl

I look so bad in white I'm not even wearing it to my own damn wedding. FI is though. She looks hot in white. 

I'm usually too focused on when the bar will open to think about/notice if others are wearing white. Or judging people with 80s hair and bad outfits in general.

jdluvr06

My bridesmaids dresses were white. They were going to be black but black made on of my BMs look washed out so went shopping together and white was the color that looked best on all the BMs. So they each picked out a white dress. I know some people not in the wedding (ok so it was my great grandmother) were bothered by it so I told her that it is a wedding and since the bride isn't wearing white someone should.

In general I dont care what color somon wears to a wedding.