When I was 19 ...

ohannabelle

Ohmygod, it still exists, and is on Wikipedia. I am dying laughing. Paddleboats and sad landlord and all! And a frikking picture, without bus, chickens, or dingo dogs. My house was up the road, first on the right. The field used to be trees. The big ass brown building was the grange hall, now looking quite swanky. (It notes that a 4 bedroom house rents for the same as an avg. 1 bedroom apt in the county. Some things have not changed.) I am cracking up so hard.

mrsmagicgeek

When I was 19, I was in my sophomore year of college. I was dating a guy with 27 earrings (25 of which he pierced himself while drunk). His hair was 5 different colors. He worked in a record store, because he'd applied to be a prison security guard but got turned down because he failed the psychological exam. I told myself it was because he was too sensitive. (Spoiler: it wasn't)

ashley8918

beethery said:

@ohannabelle has the best stories, hands down.

Agreed. This is just fascinating. BRB, Googling. I need to know more about this town.

mrscomposer

Oh man, 19...

In my second year of university, first year of my English degree (first year of university was pre-pharmacy - how's THAT for a  180?).  The plan had been to be married/barefoot/pregnant by the time I was 20, and that was dwindling fast, since I had yet to have a serious boyfriend.  In a few years I'd meet the man I'd get engaged to and subsequently be cheated on by.  I lived in a college town rental with a girl I found in the paper.  She was pretty good, but was OBSESSED with the Black Eyed Peas.  I found later (with my Disney roommate) that there were worse things.

Now, 30, a cop, about to marry the type of guy I wanted to be married to at 20 - but SO MUCH BETTER than it would have been then.  I'm actually a fully formed adult, now, and am not quite sure that I was back then.

WinstonsGirl

19 was my awesome fun year.  Second year of Uni, and I did an exchange to England cos I wanted to 1. Go see Europe, and 2. Get away from my parents for a bit.  I was there for pretty much all of 19.  I learned to drink beer and developed my love of whisky too.  I backpacked Europe over a 4 week Easter vacation in the school calendar by myself.  Oh, and I drank a shit ton of alcohol.  Like 3 nights a week, every week (Mon/Wed/Sat).  And one of my flatmates looked like Chuck Norris.  

I was also single, cos practical me wasn't interested in dating any British guys over there since I would move back to Canada and then things would end.  I did snog a lot of boys at the bar though. 

KytchynWitche

When I was 19... I was shipped off to a "break you down to build you up" boot camp run by a cult, because my dad didn't like that I was depressed, directionless, anxious (which he said was put on), and overweight, and one of his colleague's daughters had gone from fat and useless to svelte and game-ranger-y on this "program". I lasted exactly 10 days of the 7-8 month program before being shipped back home for "insubordinate behaviour", because while I like a good bit of woowoo as much as the next person, I don't do well with being told that my truthful answers about what's going on in my own head are lies.

I didn't know who I was, other than being a fat loser. I didn't know what I wanted to do other than write, which I was told in no uncertain terms was not a proper profession and therefore not an option for a member of the "Witche" clan.

I was still recovering from three traumatic events that happened when I was 18 - the termination of the child I wanted but was told I couldn't have, the father of said child walking out on me as soon as the procedure was over, and the emotional abuse suffered at the hands of the predatory asshole who saw a weak and frightened young woman and thought "I'll have her".

I was angry, so very angry that I couldn't sleep because my head was full of violence and rage. I was in so much pain that I didn't even know how to start to express it. I attempted suicide three times that year, and racked up another six attempts in the years following. I was not, at the time, in therapy. I was highly medicated though, and the doctor told my family that that would be enough. It wasn't.

When I was 19, I honestly didn't think I'd see 20. But I did. And 21, 22, 23... It took a very long time for me to get to where I am now - stable, with not just a goal but a plan for the future - and I really have FI and MOH to thank for that. They didn't let me backslide. Today I'm not even medicated. Not even for anxiety. And I turn 29 in a few weeks.

mrscomposer

@KytchynWitche, you're awesome.

KytchynWitche

jsangel1018 said:

@KytchynWitche, you're awesome.

Thank you!

EDIT: TK ate my gif (twice)

ohannabelle

jsangel1018 said:

@KytchynWitche, you're awesome.

Yes, you are. 

It's good to hear everyone's stories. It adds more dimension to who all of you are. People are tremendously interesting, I think. 

jynxiie

at 19 I had some similarities to the other thread... 

I was with a guy for three years (We lived with my parents). 

My boyfriend at the time and my parents both supported me. I couldn't find a job - and at that age... I really didn't want one. I did online college courses here and there.

My boyfriend was controlling, addicted to porn and we had an awful relationship he was abusive in emotional/controlling ways which I didn't realize since I LOVED him.

I thought I'd marry him and we'd talk about marriage every once and awhile. I had a promise ring and that it was normal to fight with my significant other daily.

I never thought my life would be like it is now, I changed so much in the last 2 years alone it's crazy. I'm so much more confident, stronger and happier then I was when I was 19.

l9i

At 19 I was a freshman in college.  I had just began dating my H before I started college,  During that year I switched my major 3 times, competed in a sport in which the coach was so awful that I will forever have physical issues, joined a sorority (I never thought I would), partied way too much, had horrible roommate issue, but did make a life long friend.  At that age I also decided to transfer schools and move in with my BF (both decisions were separate from each other) at the time (now H) during some extreme family issues.

Would I change a thing- nope.  I experienced so many negative aspects during this year and made a couple of key decisions that have led me to where I am and be the person that I am today.  H and I have talked about this period in my life and if I would change anything, but those negative experiences I had made me stronger and led me to a better direction.

doeydo

This was only two years ago, but I had recently started the college program I'm in now, I believe.  I lived with my mom at the time and was looking forward to moving out on my own.  I had the same part-time job I have now.  I also had the same cats and my FI was my BF at that time.  I lived a pretty isolated life, though, without any real hobbies or other close friends.  Now I am going to a group, slowly starting to make new friends, and pursuing therapy.  Also, thank goodness I didn't get pregnant or anything.

sarahufl

ohannabelle said:

I'm giving you all permission to laugh.

At 19, I was living with my boyfriend (now known as Hippie Dad) in a town called Selleck, in the forests of the foothills of the Cascades. It was more of a street of old houses than a town. Former company houses for a logging outfit. 8 out of 10 houses were full of cosmically in tune granola eating poetry writing musician and artist types.

(The 9th house belonged to the man who had purchased the town a few years prior. He had dreams of turning it into a Disneyesque theme park, with a logging theme. He built a couple of paddleboats for the pond, failed to find investors, and was only seen after that when he would come around and collect rent. I think he was sad.)

We were a Collective Community For Peace. We had a lot of singalongs, and ate lots of Sprouts, and had fabuloso town meetings on Sundays at the grange hall. Our mayor lived there. He wrote science fiction. Hippie Dad and I were the fire department, because after great debate, it was voted that we would keep the fire hose in our house. There was electricity, but only wood stoves for heat. I acquired great bread baking skills here.

There were also lots of Australian Dingo dogs, because Jingles the leather worker thought we could all breed and sell them, and become prosperous and harmonious. It would be beautiful. Nobody bought them, but everyone in town had one, and we were happy. My Dingo was named Buster. He was half yellow lab, so the breeding thing was obviously not carefully supervised.

HippieDad drove the bus to the college every day. Four of us were students. The bus was a decrepit milk truck. I adored him.

At one point, the town wrote a Declaration of Independence, and seceded from the nation. Nobody cared. So we just drank a little wine and smoked a little weed and floated around the pond on the almost seaworthy abandoned paddle boats. 

(Misty water colored meeemories, of the way we were. For heaven's sake.  I should drive up there and see what's become of that place.)

You just won this thread. Everyone else can go home.

raissyrais

At 19 I flew all the way from Mauritius to Canada to start university. Met my FI a few months later. Will be married a few months to him at 28. Just moved to UK and can't wait to marry my love. Money wise been able to save a lot with on the side jobs but still have no idea what to do. First thing that comes, I'll try it out for a couple of years and see if that goes anywhere.

ETA: Like @CookiePusher I was engaged to a very troubled boy too when I was 19. But when I met my now FI, I fell in love right away and broke up with the asshole to be with Prince Charming!

buttercup1958

This was last year. I think I went through a lot. At 19 I was dating this jerk who I thought I was going to marry. He started to become abusive so I broke up with him. I gave myself a break from guys for several months. Then I met V.

We had our one year on the 21st and I couldn't be happier. I did decent in school but I think I'm doing better this semester. I've picked out the grad schools I want to go to and I'll be done with undergrad next year. V is getting his masters in geotechnical engineering so we may have to do long distance. Not sure yet. I'm trying to enjoy the relationship now instead of planning for what could happen. I got a promotion at work, made/lost some friends, and got an internship at a museum.

Wow I sound very boring ha. My life is a lot more stable than it use to be and I'm really grateful for that.

jenna8984

These are so great and fascinating to read you guys!

I was a sophomore at community college, working 2 part time jobs between classes, living with my asshole ex at his mom's house. He was 5 years older than me, worked full time, and was abusive both physically and mentally to me and his mom. It was weird...even though I couldn't bring myself to break up with him, I always knew deep down that I wasn't going to end up with him or marry him. I would always tell myself that I was getting experience for my actual husband that I'd meet one day.

My life turned out pretty much the way I imagined. Graduated university, moved across the country by myself at 22 and had great experiences being independent, traveled to 23 countries, bought my house single at 25, just got married at 29 to the perfect man for me. Ok I'm not a rich CEO driving a sports car and a living in a beach mansion like I planned....lol

raissyrais

JCbride2015 said:

pinkcow13 said:

I did not imagine that my life would turn out the way it did. I think I just looked at the immediate future and jumped straight to the far future, with no in between. I didn't really think about bills, or what would happen once I graduated and hit the real world, with student loans. In some ways I am the same person, but a lot more mature, with more realistic expectations about things and the world. 

This is EXACTLY how I was.  That's a great way to put it.  I thought about the marriage and the dream job and kids, and I didn't think about years of paying my dues and saving up and building our relationship to a stronger place.  Those middle years of climbing up the ladder and learning hard lessons and struggling are really important.  Hell, I just voluntarily jumped way the hell back down the ladder in a different field.  I'm still paying dues.  And I'm a much better person because of it.

It was kind of the same for me too. I had imagined a steady job and white picket fences before even laying down the foundations. The only thing I really cared about then was FI and money. So i became an exotic dancer for a few years (FI was OK with it and in Montreal it was kind of an artsy affair). It's something I have no regrets about since I paid all my way through college, rent, food, clothes without ever asking anything of my parents or anyone else. Today I'm debt free and have a nice chunk of savings. That was my best, even though unconventional, decision at 19/20.

emmaaa

When I was 19:

I was a freshman in college and went to one university for a semester and then decided to transfer. FI and I had been together for about a year and we were talking marriage then. He had plans to join the Navy but was unable to because of a surgery on his shoulder. If he had been able to join, our plan was to get married before he signed up. 

But since that didn't happen we lived with at our parents' houses and helped pay bills. I went to school full time and worked full time at a sports company call center. We had a lot of fun partying on the weekends with friends.

AprilH81

The year I was 19 I was finishing up my first year of college (Business Major) and trying to tolerate my horrible roommate.  I worked almost full time as a cashier/customer service desk at the local grocery store that was good about hiring high school and college students AND working around their school/activity schedule.  That fall I went back to college where I was a member of several organizations...

I worked part time on campus and the thought of not working to help support myself never crossed my mind.  If I didn't like a job I found another one.

I did some stupid college shit (most of us do at one point or another) but overall I kept it together and made myself and my family proud.

anjemon

When I was 19:

I dated the same boy (not FI) from 16 to 22. I didn't realize at the time how one-sided and messed up our relationship was. I traveled back home at least every other weekend while at college so I could spend time with him. I was the one who initiated contact. He didn't do email and I didn't have cellphone (woo life when roaming was a big concern) so I had to call him every time I wanted to talk about anything. We ended up breaking up shortly after I graduated after he stood me up at one of my friend's weddings. Obviously not our only problem, the biggest one being that I wanted to move to "the city" and look for jobs and he wanted to stay in our home town.

But that was the year I went to Europe with a college group. Traveled around cities by myself and didn't have anybody watching over my shoulder every second of the trip. I even managed to navigate Prague on my own (which was a challenge because I couldn't read any signs).

moutonrouge

I was a sophomore in college, and started dating a guy because his fraternity would send the pledges to your chapter meeting to invite you to their formal and I had to go. 100% a status thing, and now very out of character for me. We broke up a month later because I wasn't ready to say I love you. He flunked out a semester later. 

SmileDamnit

At 19, I was an oh-so-brilliant know it all girl living in Dallas (yuck) after having moved across the country for a boy, going to school and playing "house". I was engaged by 20 and thought I had my entire perfect little life planned out...and then I woke up. I realized I didn't really know myself at that sweet young age - I was still growing and learning and experiencing the world & life and failing and picking myself back up and HELL.NO I didn't want to be married before solidly growing into myself as a woman first. I broke it off with the boy and moved to Colorado shortly after, and I've never once regretted the decision to invest in ME. And now, 17 some years later, I am able to look back at my oh-so-brilliant sweet young 19 year old self proudly. Life was good then, but life is so, so, soooooooooooo much better now.

sarawifenow

Oh 19 year old me....what is there to say really?

 

I was in college, dating engaged *cringe* to an abusive sociopath. I was in and out of the hospital because of him but thought I had everything figured out. I had no friends, family was distant, and I had a shitty job.

 

Now I have the best FI, have an amazing job in finance, and a great relationship with family, friends, and (best of all) myself. Such an improvement!

Bubblegum5586

I met H at 19- our freshman year of college, we dated all 4 years but always lived separately. I loved living in an apartment with girls and knew this was the time of my life to do it (so many great memories), granted most nights we did sleep over each others places.

Now I am 28. H and I graduated at 22, moved in together at 23, engaged at 25 and married 27 (also purchased our first house at 27). We did grow into adulthood together, but we both always worked jobs (I started working at 14) and contributed to our household. Back at 19/20 I didn't know it was take so long to marry but it truly all worked out how it was supposed to!

JaxInBlue

I had just started by sophomore year of college and was (and still am) a complete nerd.  I was on a power trip due to my first TA assignment and was psyched about debate team for that year.  No license, walking to class and living at home with my parents. Later than year, the restaurant I worked at was bought out and I was one of three people transferred to a sister property.  Since I eventually met DH at the second restaurant, I can't complain too much.  In short, my life was class and work and research but I was pretty happy with how things were; I was on scholarship, making Dean's List and generally enjoying being a well-known student in my academic department.

In the intervening 11 years, I've maintained a serious streak - love my job and research work.  I have, however, recovered from my love of mini hair clips and knee socks.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

At 19 I was in paramedic school and couldn't make the lifting requirement, so I was forced to drop out and save some cash to go to school and work in the lab.  I felt like a complete failure.  My father just lost his leg to diabetes about a year or so prior and I decided I wanted to work a job inspecting auto parts on the line and save money while helping him run errands and look after him.

I met my now FI shortly after that.  I had no idea what I was doing with my life.  At the time, I just wanted to go back to school, make sure my dad was okay, and get a decent job so I could move to the city.  I was not thinking about marriage, or kids.  I was thinking about an immediate future.

The next few years were nice though.  

As far as who I am now vs who I was then, I am different.  I'm more organized for sure, and more confident in who I am.  

hellosweetie1015

When I was 19, I was JUST beginning to return to a normal sleep cycle after almost a year of not sleeping more than an hour a night, and those were the good nights. I stayed as much as possible with my BF because I could actually sleep with him there. I struggled with nightmares, and regularly woke up crying to text the people I cared about to make sure the nightmares I had weren't real. 

My BF at the time... he was, thankfully, not a huge waste of time. When we broke up (I was 22 then), he told me he'd never seen us getting married, and I felt like I'd wasted my best years. It took me a long time to move forward from him, but I learned a lot about what I needed and what I wanted from him, since a lot of the time I didn't get it. I repeatedly told him that I was going to take him out of the gene pool - because of him, I thought for a long time that I didn't want kids, even though I love them.

I was a sophomore in college, studying Biology as a pre-vet student, and failed my first two classes EVER that year. One was out of sheer laziness, because it was at 8 in the morning and I didn't give a shit about it, and the other I legitimately did not understand.

I didn't talk to anyone. I was still PAINFULLY shy. I had BF, and I had my BFF (who will be a BM), but the only other "friend" I had held a candle for BF and told BF that she wouldn't speak to me because "she had heard something." I was not fodder for the rumor mill at the time, as I was the most boring, most invisible person on the planet, and I was a nobody at a HUGE state university. I'm still not sure what she "knew" but after that we never really spoke again.

My roommates were AWFUL. When I was home - which wasn't often - I locked myself in my room and rarely came out. I didn't cook there and I didn't have a car, so unless BF and I went somewhere, which was rare because neither of us was working at the time, I ordered take out. 

I had sex for the first time that year. While I know that the first time sucks, I do wish it had gotten better... we were both virgins, and neither of us really knew what to do with our man/lady bits, much less what to do with the other's bits. I wish I'd been just a wee bit more active in the intervening years between ex-BF and FI. I have a lot of anxiety about sex, and a lot of it has to do with lack of experience.

I'm 26 now. Then-BF is now a friend of mine, living in Houston. I haven't seen him in over a year, although I do talk to him every week or so. It took us two years to reach "friend" status but it's definitely where we belong. I graduated with degrees in Psychology and French. I'm working in a law office for a great Bossman. I'm engaged to an amazing man. I'm excited to have children and start a family with him, because he will be an amazing father. If my life had worked out as I'd expected it to at 19, I don't think I'd be half as happy as I am today.

wandajune6

19 was the worst year of my life. Big 10 campus, parties, roofies, etc.- you can fill in the blanks. Then add in all of the horror stories you remember from "Seventeen" magazine during that period. Good times...

19 was disaster then 6 months in a complete haze. 20 turned me politically active, outspoken, and a bit of a badass- or at least I'd like to think so!

LDay2014

CaitTDid23 said:

When I was 19, I was JUST beginning to return to a normal sleep cycle after almost a year of not sleeping more than an hour a night, and those were the good nights. I stayed as much as possible with my BF because I could actually sleep with him there. I struggled with nightmares, and regularly woke up crying to text the people I cared about to make sure the nightmares I had weren't real. 

I imagine this was terrible...but honestly, all I'm thinking is all the productivity that could be achieved!

princessofgenovia

When I was 19 I was a sophmore in college and dating the "love of my life", my first serious girlfriend. I was sure we'd wind up married, living in Oregon with a bunch of dogs and maybe a kid or two. I even went vegan for that bitch. I gave up cheese. CHEESE. And then she cheated on me with her RA because I wasn't a "real lesbian" and I'd "just go back to men" eventually. 

So then I drank and partied and slept around with men and women because fuck that bitch. Clearly I did not react well to rejection. I still managed to keep my grades up, which frankly impresses me. 

It was also the year I moved off campus into house with 6 other people. It was fun at first, but then, 7 people, one house, I moved back into my dorm before spring break. I also decided that I'd go to grad school when I finished my undergrad. 

My best friend/roommate/sorority sister and I took an impromptu trip to San Diego one weekend. With no hotel plans and no money to get a hotel. We slept in my car. It was awesome.

Honestly I didn't think a lot about the future then. But I never thought I'd get married young (I'm 23, 24 next month), I figured I'd be in my 30s before I decided to get married.