Help! Choosing Wedding Party

hammondwf

Hey everyone! I'm hoping to get some input from other people regarding wedding parties. My finace has a very strong list of guys he (and I) want in our wedding on his side. The problem is that I can't seem to make up my mind on my side. I have a solid 6 ladies, whom are my bestest of bests and my sister. There are a few floaters, like a girl from high school and another girl from college. I don't stay in GREAT contact with those floaters but it's the kind of situation where you don't talk for ages then all of a sudden you talk and it's great. I just live far away and never see them. I keeping trying to think "if they asked me to be in their wedding, would I want to? Or would I think it weird?" Has anyone experiences this at all ? (PLEASE say yes haha) Do you have any advise for me??

Jen4948

We tend to say here, "Who would you ask to help you get rid of a body at 3am?"

That may be extreme, but the point is that the people you ask should be the people who are closest to you.  Even sides aren't necessary.  Your attendants don't even all have to be female.  There can be bridesmen and men of honor (and there can be groomswomen and best women/maids).

If you don't feel really close to the girls from high school and college, then assuming you want them at your wedding at all, just ask them to be guests.

jacques27

Envision yourself having this conversation:

"So, *insert name here*, I was really unsure about whether I should ask you to be a bridesmaid because, let's face it, you kind of have floater status in my life and when we do keep in touch it's really great but you live kinda far away.  But then a bunch of internet strangers told me to go for it, so here I am!  *TADA!*  Will you be my bridesmaid?"

If that sounds like an awesome conversation to have, go for it.
If that sounds like an awkward conversation to have, just send them a wedding invite and call it a day.

atlastmrsg

Food for thought: how far out is your wedding?  If this is "eeeeeeeeeee, I just got engaged!" talk, then set a calendar reminder for down the road.  Posters here perpetually have a similar issue: they ask their bridal party a year or more out, and life changes or the excitement calms and they realize they shouldn't have impulsively asked everyone to join the party.  Wait until the wedding is a little closer if you're one of those people.  Eight months is plenty time for those people to make travel arrangements, get dress, etc.  Many people do it in much less time.

novella1186

atlastmrsg. If they're not your close friend every day (like they disappear for a few years and you lose contact all the time) I wouldn't bother. 

I had considered asking a girl from my office. I had only known her about a year but we hit it off right away and totally seemed like long-lost sisters. It was amazing how much we had in common and how well we got along. But when I really took the time to think about it, I started picking up on stuff I had originally brushed off, like her back-handed compliments, and how she could suddenly have a really shitty attitude, and she (in HER words) can be really high maintenance at times. I realized maybe she was more of a work friend and not a true friend, so I ended up not asking her. I am so glad I didn't ask her. 

Moral of the story: If someone's your best friend *sometimes,* then they're probably not really your best friend. Take some time to think. Once you ask, you can't un-ask 

knottie75e99fe4be548d97

If your guy has a "set" list of 6 guys, the easy way to me would be to select your 6 closest friends. I know you don't need even sides, but if you can't decide otherwise, that's an option.

AddieCake

I wouldn't ask anyone I'm not in contact with on a regular basis. 

CMGragain

Six bridesmaids are more than enough.