Apparently feather baby pics are too risqué...

HaileyDancingbear

My caique was being ADORABLE and playing with my scarf today.  So I took a photo of her doing that and shared it on instagram and tumblr (I honestly wouldn't bother with either site if I wasn't using them to promote my shop) Logged in to tumblr, and found that someone saw fit to take my image, caption it with "Live chat with horny women" and use it to advertise their stupid website.  

Look, I know I posted this shit online.  But I should have been asked for my permission before my photo was used to advertise.  And frankly, I should be able to post a picture of my fucking parrot and my fucking scarf without it being twisted into something sexual.  Any of you who posted a picture of a gown on here, put yourself in my shoes, imagine if you came across your photo with the caption "Horny married women want you" on the internet.  Obnoxious, right?

I deleted my post, and I'm hoping the source image being gone takes down the other post as well.  I'm mostly just pissed that apparently being female automatically makes me a sex object. This is the photo in question, by the way.  I just thought toot playing with the scarf was cute. 

lurkergirl

Ew, that is really gross and shitty



That said, I do see boobs before bird in that pic.  Not that it should matter or that it makes it in any way okay for someone to use your image like that, but I personally would probably not put a picture like that on the internet. 

HaileyDancingbear

lurkergirl said:

Ew, that is really gross and shitty



That said, I do see boobs before bird in that pic.  Not that it should matter or that it makes it in any way okay for someone to use your image like that, but I personally would probably not put a picture like that on the internet. 

They're completely covered though.  I can't help it that I have boobs.  

JCbride2015

Wow, that is absolutely 100% shitty and terrible.  Also illegal btw, not that you can track down the bastard who did it.

lurkergirl

HaileyDancingbear said:

lurkergirl said:

Ew, that is really gross and shitty



That said, I do see boobs before bird in that pic.  Not that it should matter or that it makes it in any way okay for someone to use your image like that, but I personally would probably not put a picture like that on the internet. 

They're completely covered though.  I can't help it that I have boobs.  

I know, I'm torn on it.  I hate that we live in a world where we have to worry about things like that, but unfortunately I think it's a fact of life.  Even if you see it as innocent, and obviously it playing with your bird is innocent, you sometimes have to consider the shitty ways some other people might interpret it.

theartistformerlyknownas

That picture is completely innocuous. I would be livid if that happened to me.

chibiyui

I really love your outfit in that pic. And I'm sorry, that's super creepy and the dude who did it is a total douchenozzle.

beethery

I am mad at the creep ass but excited that you have a birb!!!! I want a birb but the orange menace and daisy would not understand why birb is in the house and not a snack.

HaileyDancingbear

lurkergirl said:

HaileyDancingbear said:

lurkergirl said:

Ew, that is really gross and shitty



That said, I do see boobs before bird in that pic.  Not that it should matter or that it makes it in any way okay for someone to use your image like that, but I personally would probably not put a picture like that on the internet. 

They're completely covered though.  I can't help it that I have boobs.  

I know, I'm torn on it.  I hate that we live in a world where we have to worry about things like that, but unfortunately I think it's a fact of life.  Even if you see it as innocent, and obviously it playing with your bird is innocent, you sometimes have to consider the shitty ways some other people might interpret it.

I totally understand where you're coming from.  I'm just really sick of attempting to change myself based on how shitty people might interpret it, and that's where a lot of my frustration here is coming from.  Dammit, I wanna wear my short skirts. I wanna post my bird picture.  I want to do what FI can do- like walk in the city alone at night, or to walk in a dark parking lot without my keys between my knuckles and not spend half the time picking out an outfit going "Is this too risqué?" and post a damn picture of myself without worrying about being sexualized for it.

I guess this is just another thing on the long long list of grievances the feminist in me has.  

JCbride2015

HaileyDancingbear said:

lurkergirl said:

HaileyDancingbear said:

lurkergirl said:

Ew, that is really gross and shitty



That said, I do see boobs before bird in that pic.  Not that it should matter or that it makes it in any way okay for someone to use your image like that, but I personally would probably not put a picture like that on the internet. 

They're completely covered though.  I can't help it that I have boobs.  

I know, I'm torn on it.  I hate that we live in a world where we have to worry about things like that, but unfortunately I think it's a fact of life.  Even if you see it as innocent, and obviously it playing with your bird is innocent, you sometimes have to consider the shitty ways some other people might interpret it.

I totally understand where you're coming from.  I'm just really sick of attempting to change myself based on how shitty people might interpret it, and that's where a lot of my frustration here is coming from.  Dammit, I wanna wear my short skirts. I wanna post my bird picture.  I want to do what FI can do- like walk in the city alone at night, or to walk in a dark parking lot without my keys between my knuckles and not spend half the time picking out an outfit going "Is this too risqué?" and post a damn picture of myself without worrying about being sexualized for it.

I guess this is just another thing on the long long list of grievances the feminist in me has.  

Yeah.  I feel like this all the time.  

Today leaving my sisters house, a group of guys called across the park at me, "Hey Ma!  Have a blessed day!"  Not the worst catcall ever.... but it still made me feel icky.  This kind of stuff is a daily occurrence.  And I'm wearing a long-sleeved stripe tee shirt and straight jeans.

jdluvr06

I'm sorry. That is completely icky. Cute birdie though

ohannabelle

That is just shamefully creepy. I would feel really violated.

It's a sad reminder that the internet is a really creepy place. And there are creepy people out there.

I think the picture is adorable.

jdluvr06

I was telling H about what happened to you and his response "that is why I always say you shouldn't post personal picks. Men are pervs"

Gustafson28

Totally not cool that that happened to you. As a side note I got distracted by how cute your belt it! Where did you get it from?

JCbride2015

jdluvr06 said:

I was telling H about what happened to you and his response "that is why I always say you shouldn't post personal picks. Men are pervs"

So, this is both practical and terrible.

Why is it our responsibility as women to anticipate the perviness of men?  Sure, for now not posting pics online is just self-protection.  But in general, that responsibility lands on women and it's not okay.  Just the same way modesty culture pushes the responsibility to control male desire onto the women.  Cover yourself, don't be alone with a man, don't be too forward-- because you will cause desire in the men around you.

Men should control their own damn selves.

HaileyDancingbear

jdluvr06 said:

I was telling H about what happened to you and his response "that is why I always say you shouldn't post personal picks. Men are pervs"

I don't want to base my life around whether or not men are pervs.  I just want to be respected as a human being.  I just want to walk alone at night without checking over my shoulder and clutching my keys.  I want to have a drink in public without being terrified to take my eyes off it.  I want to wear an outfit without worrying about it being too revealing.  I want to post a picture of myself without being sexualized for it.  I'm starting to become extremely envious of FI and my male friends over all of these little things they can do, that I can't.  

HaileyDancingbear

@gustafson28 Thank you! I got it at Francesca's.  

HaileyDancingbear

beethery said:

I am mad at the creep ass but excited that you have a birb!!!! I want a birb but the orange menace and daisy would not understand why birb is in the house and not a snack.

haha yeah, birds are wonderful.  She was on me pretty much all day today, just being a little fuzzy ball of affection.  

And @chibiyui thank you!  I was really proud of my color-coordinating skills today, lol.

Kauris

This: http://brittanyherself.com/2014/06/13/when-the-internet-steals-your-pictures/

This is an awesome blog I read. She had a very similar experience.

falsara

1) It sucks that people can be creeps, and I fully hate that because of technology it seams all politeness has evaporated into thin air.

2)  Awwww, What a Cutie.  I'm so excited that I'm not the only one with a bird on this site.  Me and FI have an African Grey.  He only does cute things with FI though since FI had him before we got together.  It wont even let me touch it =(

jynxiie

Omg, I am so sorry! That is beyond awful. 

What are you going to do?

Also I love your caique! I have a pineapple green cheek and funny enough - the same scarf but in a bunch of different colours/designs.

JennyColada

On another social networking site I'm on, I had multiple people post my photos claiming them as their own (as the photographer, obviously not as the model). It was super creepy and weird. Especially since these were "friends" of my friends. Like they thought I wouldn't find out?!

HaileyDancingbear

jynxiie said:

Omg, I am so sorry! That is beyond awful. 

What are you going to do?

Also I love your caique! I have a pineapple green cheek and funny enough - the same scarf but in a bunch of different colours/designs.

Unfortunately I can't do anything.  I can't track down this person and even if I could, I can barely make ends meet, much less hire a lawyer to deal with this.  I did check, and even though I deleted the source of the image, it's still there.  It's really disheartening.  I've just been surrounded by too many reminders lately that due to my gender, the world is a nasty place for me.

I've been telling FI about it, and we've been chatting about feminism, so I'm cheered up a bit, at least reminded that not all men are that way.  He also offered to teach me some self-defense, he's competed in tournaments and is really good at it, even broke an arm before (Not that he's proud of it, he was young and scared) and next time we meet I'm going to learn how to put a person to sleep.  Doesn't help with this exact situation, but I'll at least feel a bit safer and more in-control knowing that if I ever have to, I can defend myself.

But on the lighter side, it's great to see someone else with a caique!  I just adore how they have so much personality crammed into such a little bird.  Toot is always doing something either ridiculous and funny or adorable.  

missdelilah

OMG! There is absolutely nothing wrong with that photo. It's not even like you've got your cleavage on. I know how you feel though. I haven't had the exact same experience, but yup, having boobs and a vajayjay automatically makes you sex object. Whatever happened to men embracing feminism?

theartistformerlyknownas

Re: the responsibility falling on women, this is one of my favorite things on the internet.
http://slutwalkphoenix.wordpress.com/how-to-prevent-rape/

raissyrais

That feather baby is so cute. I'm sorry they took your pic and used it, that's very infuriating! Unfortunately am not sure there's anything you can do since they have that photo now to keep. It's probably saved on a dark little computer somewhere. UGH. Well, thank God your face isn't in it.

LittlePeachBlossom

That's terrible! There's nothing wrong with your pic. Major eyeroll to 'Men are pervs'. No. Some men are perverts and we shouldn't excuse their actions by blaming the victim. What are women to do? Hide in bulky sweaters and be recluses? 

Love your outfit btw!

[Deleted User]

jdluvr06 said:

I was telling H about what happened to you and his response "that is why I always say you shouldn't post personal picks. Men are pervs"

Did you tell your husband he shouldn't draw attention to his face with talking, because it's so punchable?

Yeah, blaming the victim is making me throw serious shade at him.

Inkdancer

Yay birb! Also:

hellosweetie1015

beethery said:

I am mad at the creep ass but excited that you have a birb!!!! I want a birb but the orange menace and daisy would not understand why birb is in the house and not a snack.

We have a bird. The cats are afraid of it. So is my mom.

Our bird's an asshole.

@HaileyDancingBear That sucks. Your scarf, bird, and outfit is adorable. I'm sorry your adorable pic got nabbed and posted to a skeevy tumblr. 

Report them, though. Your picture won't be gone; its reproduction likely isn't connected to your original post at all. I dunno if it was an advertisement (does TUMBLR have ADS now?! I don't remember ads...) or just another Tumblr user "repurposing" your picture, but you can report either one.

loveislouder

I know this isn't helpful, but when I read the headline I thought you dressed your baby up like a Las Vegas Showgirl and that you were mad because people were calling you out.