When did you start saving?

Moiramab

For those of you paying for any of your weddings, or ye OMHs, or NEY but know-there's-a-ring-somewhere-in-this-house, when did you start seriously setting money aside for the wedding? Was it just a separate part of the savings you already have or did it require adjusting your budget and giving up Starbucks once a week?


We're NEY and our time line is a little foggy, but once we stopped talking in hypotheticals, I had a mini freak out about money and having enough saved to be ahead of the game. I've talked myself down since then and decided that I'll just add a little extra to the savings I already have as a potential buffer (and worst case scenario, I'll have extra for vacation, woot:)

Hummingbird125

We got engaged when I was unemployed, so I didn't start planning or saving anything until I started a new job. Once I started receiving regular paychecks again, we began specifically saving for the wedding. I had some money in savings already that I had managed not to touch while unemployed, so that's what we started with, then I basically figured out our entire budget, subtracted what family was contributing (about 30% of our total budget), then divided that number by the number of months we had left until one month before the wedding (because some balances are due several weeks before the wedding date, and I didn't want to worry about saving the MONTH OF our wedding). Since FI and I make about the same salary, we each contribute half of the monthly amount to the wedding savings. I'm using my savings account to hold our wedding funds, so FI writes me a check for his contribution every month. So far, it's been working out great!

IMO, figuring out a plan for saving for a wedding is also great to help you and your FI get on the same page, financially, if you're not already. Although we've always shared expenses fairly and without any issues, we haven't jointly saved money for anything big before. Figuring out a budget together, and working to make sure we stay on track as far as contributing to the savings account has been great practice for the future. We've already decided that as soon as the wedding/honeymoon is over, we'll be continuing the same savings plan to save for buying a home.

Swazzle

We had a pretty small NWR savings throughout the 4 years we were dating which we both contributed to. Once we got engaged, we really buckled down and got aggressive with saving for the wedding. We also opted for a longer engagement so we could save for the wedding we wanted. 

[Deleted User]

I've always been a saver, so I didn't have to start saving specifically for the wedding.

500days

My FI works in the construction and restoration field, so he has been taking on extra weekend jobs to pay for our wedding and honeymoon. Our joint savings account is for a house right now. 

Peaseblossom55

I had just been saving all along even before I met my H to make sure I had 6 months of income in bank, so once we got engaged, we saved more aggressively and cut back on some expenses. 

Dignity100

The honest answer here:
I have had a savings account for emergencies and such for years (I try to keep 6+ months of my cost of living saved up).  Before the wedding, I have a set amount that I would move from my checking to my savings.  FI is not great at saving, he wanted to get his house completely paid off and a few other things taken care of.  I was HOPING FI would be able to save more than he has (especially since he does not have a house payment now), but he's kept having large expenses come up so we are mostly using my savings to pay for the wedding.  After the wedding, we will be able to rebuild my savings account (which will really be our savings account -- and assuming no more major issues).

We are paying for our own wedding with no help from our families.

Moiramab

CocoBellaF said:

I've always been a saver, so I didn't have to start saving specifically for the wedding.

I'm more like this - I always have and always will save, but need to have arbitrary line in how much is for what, X amount for emergency, Y for vacation, and now a tentative Z for wedding.

@TwoDimes‌ that program sounds amaaaazing, and I wish it was a bank near me haha

eilis1228

I think you should start saving ASAP just to have money in case of emergencies. FI and I have emergency savings accounts in case an unexpected expense comes up, and we also have an account with enough to live off of for 6 months in case either of us lose our job. I would encourage you to start a savings account now regardless of what the intended use for the money may be in the future.

As for wedding-specific financial planning, FI and I realized a couple of years ago that if we wanted to have a big-ish wedding, we would have to pay for it ourselves. We sat down and made a tentative budget for everything and decided to split the total cost. Based on that number (plus me wanting enough money to also put a down payment on a car after the wedding), I came up with my own savings plan and have money automatically taken out of my paycheck every 2 weeks. Since it's automatically transferred, I never see it and don't have the temptation to hold on to it to pay for other things. 

bethsmiles

We both have savings but not specifically for a wedding. To be honest, I haven't thought much about it because my parents have always said they would pay for my wedding. I'm absolutely aware that something could go wrong with that and BF and I would need to pay for it on our own, in which case we would look at our savings, decide how much we want to spend on a wedding and set a date from there based on how much longer we think we need to save up enough (although we are sick of waiting so we'd probably just do something very small and simple rather than save up for a very large affair.)

luckya23

I haven't started yet, but hopefully will be able to ramp up once SO's lease ends and he can move in to split expenses.  I had what should be enough anyway in my emergency fund, but hopefully it won't come to that!

However, I don't expect skipping a coffee once a week would quite add up the way it would need to! lol

 

phira

We'd both been saving before the wedding (as in, earmarking some money for the future, not necessarily for the wedding), so we started with a bit before we really started intentionally saving for the wedding. Once we got engaged, wedding saving got more intense.

Moiramab

eilis1228 said:

I think you should start saving ASAP just to have money in case of emergencies. FI and I have emergency savings accounts in case an unexpected expense comes up, and we also have an account with enough to live off of for 6 months in case either of us lose our job. I would encourage you to start a savings account now regardless of what the intended use for the money may be in the future.

 

100% This. I hope it doesn't come off as wedding being the only savings. I work in the financial industry and on a college campus so that six months emergency mantra gets said overandoverandover, even though it's so hard without a full time job. I'm also a huge fan of autotransfers, either set amount or those keep the change, $1 transfers from your debit card.

 

AuroraRose41

I am NEY but the ring is in BF's possession. We had a money talk a few months ago and realized that we will probably be paying for our wedding on our own, and it's going to be expensive (we know we want to go back to where we grew up so more of our family and friends can attend, and the only places that accommodate 200+ people that are not in a barn are $100+ per person for food alone). We also would like to buy a house in the next year or two, so we are also saving for a down payment. 

We sat down and looked at houses online and also looked at some wedding costs back home (it helps that one of my best friends is getting married next year in that area and tells me how much everything costs without me asking), and we created a savings plan from that. If we stick to it, in 2-3 years we should have enough to pay for both (in addition to our emergency fund). 

We also opened a joint savings account through Ally Bank which has a 0.9% annual interest rate and no fees to keep it open. I think they also have a 5 year CD with a 2% annual interest rate, but we wanted access to our money the entire time. 

ETF: grammar.....the coffee hasn't kicked in yet

audrewuh

We had to really buckle down our savings for the wedding. I was always a saver, but H wasn't (and still isn't). We paid for it ourselves and my dad gifted us with our honeymoon. Since I was making more than H, I put in 3/4 more a month than he did and it worked out fine. 

We moved in with each other when we got engaged so we could save a little more, even though it put my job at risk. It was worth it. Things were incredibly tight the 14 months we were engaged. We gave up more than just a weekly Starbucks.

loves2shop4shoes

DH is a saver, and he's helped me to become more of a saver too.  For about a year before we got engaged, we started setting money aside for a wedding, having expected to pay for the wedding ourselves.

Then my Dad offered to pay for our wedding in its entirety.  So we accepted the offer and put our savings towards student loans.

Then my Dad backed out of paying for our wedding right before we put a deposit on a venue.  Then we had to start saving from scratch for the wedding.  Things were really tight and we compromised virtually every aspect of our wedding to be able to afford anything close to the wedding we wanted.  We ended up getting married in a different state, outdoors (instead of in a church), had a limited open bar (instead of full bar), opted for inexpensive flowers from Costco (rather than peonies), I got a $100 wedding dress (Rather than the Monique Lhuillier I wanted), we had a buffet instead of a plated dinner, etc.

If I had to do it over again, I seriously think I might just elope.

jenna8984

I've always been a saver for my entire teens and 20's. So I already had a large amount in the bank and I'm very fiscally responsible (cheap) so I always knew that I wanted a wedding under a certain $ amount, which I was ok with pulling from my savings. FI (keep forgetting to say husband now!) is not good at savings so he paid for the rings over a few months.

 

KeptInStitches

I'm the spender in our relationship. I've had to really buckle down over the last year and stop impulse shopping - put it this way, yarn is a line item in my budget where it never was before. I'd always done okay on my own and come out a little ahead each month, but I'd never been serious about saving. Once we set (and achieved!) some financial goals, it got a little easier for me. Our goal is for me to be able to front the investment on house projects, the wedding, the down payment (I did it!!), etc., so that even though I'm making a lot less than he is right now, I still contribute. It works for us, at least for the next year.

Wedding-specific, it looks like we'll be paying for about 60% of the wedding. I'm wiped pretty well right now from asbestos removal, but I'll be able to start saving again next paycheck and we'll have the cash in hand well before April.

BreMR

I have a question related to savings (sorry to hijack) but my FI and I have always been in the boat where we keep our finances separate and have an account where we merge for half the bills.  We're not super picky about it but the monthly finances get split down the middle and there's a little give or take for going out to dinners, or buying anything extra.

That being said, he spent a huge chunk of money on me for my ring, I sorta feel like it's more my responsibility to come up with more of the wedding savings, does that seem fair?  Or did I earn this ring fair and square??  

Moiramab

@BreMR‌ I'm pretty sure I'd want to put in more to make up for it - but I also make more than him, so I'm also pretty sure I'll have to do that anyway haha

If you talk, and he says not to worry, maybe think of it as any other present/gift? (As far as monetarily, since sparkles clearly aren't *just* another gift)

BreMR

@moiramab he definitely makes more money than me currently, but it may not be that way in a few months so... 

That being said, I've saved 2/3 of our wedding cost (not including our travel for our destination wedding) so I think it should be okay as long as he can pay for his own trip at least