My man is deployed

Knottie5791268

Hi All,

I am not yet engaged but started talking about marriage with my man. He however has been deployed for a month now and it is super hard for me and him. He is handling it better then me of course because he has done this before. I have not. I have been in a long distance relationship before but I got to see him on skype and everything and this relationship is way different.  I can only talk to my man now on the phone and through letters. We are also in a newer relationship. We have been together 2 months and met 3 1/2 months ago. I know it is soon to talk marriage but we are both older and have been engaged before ect and know what we are looking for. Any help from Army girlfriends on how to make this time go by sooner! We are looking at a 9month deployment.. 8 months to go. We do not plan on getting engaged right when he returns just looking for ways on how to make this time go by quick, while he is away. Thank you!

cherryblossoms21

Thankfully this hasn't happened yet in our relationship but we did have to be apart for training for over 30 days..  nothing like deployment.  But I would pray for him daily and write letters.. also care packages are great.... ask if he needs/want's anything.  Open when letters are awesome.  The primary thing is to stay faithful.  The service of our Country is a huge thing and we as Girlfriends, Wives, and Fiancee's is to support and serve alongside/ or alongwayaway!! Which is a pain in the butt.  But letters (save them) Emails, and care packages will hopefully get you through.  Maybe have him write 10 things to encourage you and you can do the same for him. and then read that when you need some stregenth.  Hang out with other friends who have either been in the same position as you or are married and missing their hubby. 

Just stay strong!!

Kris

Knottie5791268

Thank you so much for the sweet words and encouragement. I love the idea of 10 things to encourage each other! I am going to do that. Praying for you and your relationship too!

Thank you

flyingfoxes

Hi.  I feel you - I dated my FI for 3 months, then he got his orders to go to Afghanistan.  He asked me to wait for him.  5 months after we started dating, he left.  The leaving part was the worst for me, but I've always been really independent so daily living was okay.  I think the fact that we had to email/FB message/Skype really made us get to know each other while he was gone.  I had to wait 7 months for his R&R, but I think about 7 months into dating we started talking marriage.  He proposed on R&R, 1 year and a day after our first date. 

They LOVE care packages!  Especially homemade cookies - he would share with his coworkers and they all appreciated it. 

 

It's hard, but it's so easy to be proud of them and it's totally worth the wait to get them back.  Picking him up at the airport was the best thing ever. 

kyrgyzstan

cherryblossoms21 said:

Thankfully this hasn't happened yet in our relationship but we did have to be apart for training for over 30 days..  nothing like deployment.  But I would pray for him daily and write letters.. also care packages are great.... ask if he needs/want's anything.  Open when letters are awesome.  The primary thing is to stay faithful.  The service of our Country is a huge thing and we as Girlfriends, Wives, and Fiancee's is to support and serve alongside/ or alongwayaway!! Which is a pain in the butt.  But letters (save them) Emails, and care packages will hopefully get you through.  Maybe have him write 10 things to encourage you and you can do the same for him. and then read that when you need some stregenth.  Hang out with other friends who have either been in the same position as you or are married and missing their hubby. 

Just stay strong!!

Kris

I. Uh. Spouses support, but they don't serve.

OP, it's too soon to talk about marriage. I don't care how old you are. Deployment makes people get oddly romantic and rush things. I use separations to do the stuff that I want to do. When H was deployed, I worked more and made more $$. When I was gone after I joined, he watched a lot of How it's Made.

Knottie5791268

april182015 ... Thank you for your sweet words and encouragement. Enjoying the phone calls and letters from him. Sadly we have no skype. Over a month into him being gone and still holding strong. I love that he proposed on R&R. I hope my 9months go by quickly . 

flyingfoxes

Wanted to add - it was definitely easier for FI to deploy because he'd done it 3 times before when he was previously married.  It was hard for me to see him go, but once he was gone, it was easy, lol.  Like @WishIcouldbeinthe'stan says, that's the time for you to do what you want to do, and believe me, enjoy it.  I ate Doritos for dinner and watched cheesy B movies - now it's an actual dinner every night and I sit with him while he watches his Sci-Fi shows that I don't care about, lol.  (he watches my shows with me too, so it's a good trade-off!)

iluvmytxrgr

I'll ditto Stan. I'll also ditto the info about keeping busy. Do you want to get in better shape? Do it. Do you want to take some classes? Go for it. Start some new hobbies. Watch movies he won't watch. Volunteer for a group you support. Staying busy helps a ton.

Knottie5791268

Thank you all for the advice and sweet words. Although it is hard to have him away I am thankful for him and the sweet love letters he sends! Almost two months down!! woo hoo!

flyingfoxes

It really does go by quickly! 

714hbbride

Keep busy. Work on you while he is gone (school, job, gym or whatever else you think is fun/worth putting your time into). He will call when he can. 

futuremrsb2016

I am newly engaged and my fiance is stationed overseas while I live in the states, we have dated for a year and a half. I went to visit him for 2 weeks for the holidays and we got engaged! He has been away for the majority of our relationship and we are planning to marry next year.

The best advice I have is keep busy, find a hobby things that interest you and do that. Do things you love and enjoy time with yourself. Stay faithful and most of all stay positive, the time will go by fast and if it's meant to be it will be. it will be worth the wait:) 

kyrgyzstan

futuremrsb2016 said:

Stay faithful 

Um, duh?