children at your wedding?

aggiespartan

It seems like at least one of our guests may have decided to bring their small child with them (like 2 years old).  We didn't explicitly say no children, but we didn't include children's names on the invites.  I guess since it's in Vegas and all events are at casinos on the strip, we incorrectly assumed other people would assume that it's an adult event.  Is anyone else running into this?  I can't even imagine taking a small child to Vegas.  The people in our group are pretty big drinkers too, so I would imagine most people will be well on their way to sauced as soon as everything starts.  

Futuremrshauger

Dilema-- I have been pondering how to go about this on my invites. My MOH has a 10 and 11 year old boys whom I consider my nephews. They were both present my FI proposed as we were has all of our closest friends over for a July 4th BBQ. They each asked me if they could go. I initally said I was not sure and would talk with their mother. Turns outs her parents (my second family would like to go and agreed to watch over them). I am conflicted as to how to tell other people who have children under the age of 7, no children allowed!

I had initally wanted my wedding in April 2015, but my BFF is having a baby Feb. She is also my go-to with wedding planning as she is great at that! She was so sweet and was like April is great time.. yada yada. Finally, it hit me she is due Feb and asked if would feel confortable coming. She has never been to Vegas. She was like well.. I don't want to disappoint you, but I still hope to be nursing and 2 months is too young to leave alone and did want to bring her baby.

Most hotels I think have child care services.. maybe that's what they plan to do..? Two is very young. Maybe inquire about their plan with bringing their kid. I know I did not answer your question, sorry! It's just been on my mind too.

I am curious to see all the responses to your post as I am just as curious!!

 

vegasbride2015

Well, we're only inviting one person with a child (my sister, who is due in Jan with her first child), but our group are mostly childless or empty nest people.

That being said, I personally wouldn't want to have kids at my wedding besides my own (my daughter will be 15 yo by our wedding next year), and my niece or nephew...but it's hard to toe that fine line between offending or improper etiquette.

khristiana

My little sister, who is a bridesmaid in my wedding, is bringing her two children with her. I don't mind if they come, I only see my nieces every few years. But everyone else who has kids will decide on their own if they're bringing them or not. Most don't have little ones, or are leaving them with babysitters.

I just know I won't hate it if little ones do come, as long as they are being watched and behave.

vegasbride2015

Is it rude of me to even say that honestly I don't even want my sister's baby at the wedding?? I just don't want any fussing or anything. And I am a mother, so I know what that is like. However, since this is a DW, I can't say no to that. Then again, my sister might not come because of the baby (which I don't blame her if she chooses not to). 

myriah505

A couple of our friends brought their 3 year old. It was fine. There's plenty to see and do with a kid. They took her to the M&M store, and to the top of the Eiffel Tower, and on the High Roller and stuff. They took turns staying with the kid in the hotel room so the other could come out with us at night. I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about. They'll take care of their kid and it won't effect you or your wedding at all. And so what if the other adults are drunk around the kid? I grew up with my parents drinking around me and having parties and it didn't effect me at all. 

aggiespartan

I'm really not worried about them having enough to do.  In my experience when a small child is brought to an event, a lot of the focus shifts to that child.  I think it's assuming a lot when you say "they'll take care of their kid."  Some parents do, and some parents let them wander.  I am also a bit worried about whether or not I'll be too drunk to control myself when someone asks "when are you going to have one of these???"

vegasgroom

We didn't want anyone's kids at our wedding.  We wanted it to be an adult party.  I had no problem with that, and now that I'm a parent, I still have no problem with that.  It might mean I can't attend as many weddings as I used to, but I understand just like I'm happy to bring my kid to a kid-friendly wedding.

Anyway, we explicitly addressed our invites to both invitees or invitee "and guest" if they were single.  We gave no option to fill out how many are coming.  We put on our website we're sorry that children were not invited.  We made it known amongst friends and family kids weren't invited so no one would try to guilt us into it or assume.  Had zero issues.

missbruiser

I saw that a Knottie put on her invites, "All events 21+". I am going to do the same thing. My only concern is my FI's nieces and nephew. They are old enough to be left with grandparents though. I love kids, I just want to enjoy a kid free zone.

americankorean

I have been thinking about this a lot lately as well. My little brother and cousin are both under 21, but they're not children. I kind of feel like this is the worst age, to be honest. At least with little kids, there are things to do like the M&M store and the Eiffel tower as @myriah505 pointed out above. I'm afraid that the teenagers will be bored out of their minds in a city where the fun stuff is off limits to them. Does anyone have any suggestions for this age range in Vegas? 

I'm also pretty bummed that my brother won't be able to attend the post-reception party at The Chandelier in The Cosmopolitan due to his age. I'm thinking to just tell him and my cousin to bring a video game console with them to Vegas and to buy them some soda and snacks for them so that they can have their own party in the hotel room after the reception ends. 

myriah505

aggiespartan said:

I'm really not worried about them having enough to do.  In my experience when a small child is brought to an event, a lot of the focus shifts to that child.  I think it's assuming a lot when you say "they'll take care of their kid."  Some parents do, and some parents let them wander.  I am also a bit worried about whether or not I'll be too drunk to control myself when someone asks "when are you going to have one of these???"

Hmm, that's weird. Maybe it's a cultural thing then. Because in my experience, when a child is brought to an event, they are hardly noticeable. No attention was shifted to the child at our event. I forgot she was even there most of the time. I'm sorry you have to worry about that.  And I'm sorry, but not inviting kids because A) you're worried about them hogging all the attention or because you don't know how to politely respond to a basic question is ridiculous. If you don't like kids then just say you don't like kids. That's way more understandable than being afraid they will steal your thunder or something. 

myriah505

americankorean said:

I have been thinking about this a lot lately as well. My little brother and cousin are both under 21, but they're not children. I kind of feel like this is the worst age, to be honest. At least with little kids, there are things to do like the M&M store and the Eiffel tower as @myriah505 pointed out above. I'm afraid that the teenagers will be bored out of their minds in a city where the fun stuff is off limits to them. Does anyone have any suggestions for this age range in Vegas? 

I'm also pretty bummed that my brother won't be able to attend the post-reception party at The Chandelier in The Cosmopolitan due to his age. I'm thinking to just tell him and my cousin to bring a video game console with them to Vegas and to buy them some soda and snacks for them so that they can have their own party in the hotel room after the reception ends. 

My fiance has a 20 year old and a 17 year old daughter. They had plenty of fun just walking around on their own. they don't care about drinking or gambling (I didn't either at their age). I really don't know why everyone thinks that the only fun things to do in vegas are drinking and gambling. They hung out at NYNY and went on the roller coaster. They also enjoyed the M&M  and Coca Cola store, and otherwise just site seeing, shopping, and people watching. 

Everyone just worry about yourselves and stop worrying so much about kids and under age poeple. They will be fine. 

hmgiffor

I explicitly wrote "all events 21+" on the invites. Most people aren't bringing their kids except for my sister. I told her they weren't invited but she didn't want to leave her little one (even though he is 5 and in my opinion should be find staying with grandparents). She is looking into bringing a babysitter so they can go to all the events. 

vegasbride2015

We can't do a "all events 21+" because our Best Man is my soon to be BIL and he is 19, and his girlfriend is 18. And my daughter will be 15 by then. I think if we end up inviting someone with kids we will have to figure out if we will allow kids or not...just not sure yet.

tasa4508

Oh here we go...the kids at the wedding topic.  My sister held her wedding at an all inclusive resort. I understood and appreciated her want to have no kids at the wedding but as a sister I was very offended that she did this knowing we wouldn't be able to enjoy her special day.  We ended up not being able to go and I feel like I really missed out on something special.  My sister's fear was that because all the kids potentially coming were under the age of 5 the eyes would be on them and she wanted it to be her day and not a bunch of people oooing and awwwing over how cute the kids were all dressed up.  It's still a sore spot for me because regardless of the kids all eyes are always on the bride.

Vegas is no longer just an adult playground.  They have been trying to make it a family retreat as well.  There is lots for kids to do there and most hotels either have child care or will refer you to a nanny service which is top notch with great credentials.

My suggestion would be to add the "all events 21+" on your invites just as hmgiffor did above.  Then I would include something along the line of here are a couple childcare options should you be bringing your little ones along.  That way you are not saying "don't bring your kids" but you are making it pretty clear that it is "21+" and if you choose to bring them anyway here is where they can go during the wedding.  I know me as a parent would take that much easier then saying I couldn't bring my kids.  I as a parent would then think it through and make a decision to either leave them home with someone or if not comfortable leaving them that long check out your suggestion for childcare.  If neither option worked for me then I would RSVP with a no but it would be my choice.

It's hard to voice your wishes when it comes to things like this without offending people.  It's kinda like saying to your friend that is single that they can come but you're not inviting their "guest" because you don't know them.  If we did that then some people who are close to us would miss out on our special day because they didn't want to leave their "guest" home.

I think you'll find that having kids there won't make a difference at all.  It's rare to have a parent take their child to a place like Vegas and not think through their options and have a plan.

Good luck

missbruiser

I love the child care options.  I think that is a great idea.  My choice to not want children at my events has nothing to do with a shift of attention on them.  That is ridicules! Ha ha ha ha. As a guest at weddings I think they are annoying.  They are running around screaming, making a mess, and asking a lot of questions.  I just think it's annoying.  I understand that parents think this is adorable, but, I do not.  Plus, my friends are rowdy, it just would be a bad mix.  The last wedding I went to, I was at a table with 3 little ones.  The parents just let them do what ever they wanted.  I could not wait to get away from them.  I love the parents that teach their children how to behave properly, most just don't.  

As a teenager, Vegas would be fun for people watching.  I loved the Coca-Cola museum. Plus, there are the fun zones, like at Circus Circus and Excalibur.  They can go to the Tournament of Kings or something.  

aggiespartan

I'm right there with you bruiser.  We are having a fairly small event.  It will be almost impossible for them to blend in or not be noticed.  We will also have a pretty rowdy group too.

vegasbride2015

Yeah, my concern is the crying, fussing, etc. Not that it will "take away" from me. I just don't want to have my ceremony interrupted by a screaming baby, personally. It's a personal choice.

tcnoble

If you address your invites to ONLY those invited, when people try to RSVP for their children just reply "Sorry, the invite was for you and Bob, we aren't able to accommodate the kids. We can't wait to see you two!" And just bean dip away in to another conversation if necessary. 

You don't have to justify yourself - you invited X & Y, not their kids. As long as your invites are addressed that way, and you continue to reiterate it, if people keep bugging you about kids just stay firm and if they choose not to attend because their kids aren't invited then they won't attend. 

destinationtake2

ITA with @tcnoble. It's pretty simple based on who the invites are addressed to. Maybe they don't realize it and it's an honest misunderstanding but if they spend 2 minutes doing any sort of research they'll find this etiquette everywhere. I definitely think you should say something (kindly of course) given that you know what the vibe of your event will be like and that kids weren't really a part of what you have in mind.

AustralianSam

So, we are bringing our almost 2 year old. A friend is bringing their 4 year old, and we have a 15 year old niece. We invited numerous people with kids, but said they are welcome at the ceremony, but not at the reception... and provided details of a nanny service (we are using Artsy Nannies). Our son and the 4 year old are being looked after by the Nanny once the reception starts, and my parents will take him back to their hotel with them at the end of the night. If I had the wedding at home, I wouldn't invite any kids at all... except my son - and even then Ide prob send him home early so I could enjoy the night!

Jixxt

I couldn't imagine not having the children at our ceremony and reception. We want it to be a family affair with kids and all. We're hiring a lounge and possibly even a magician to keeps the kids occupied...there will be about 10-12 kids, 3 to 15!  I have no kids but I personally don't think it is right to exclude them!

vegasgroom

Jixxt said:

 I have no kids but I personally don't think it is right to exclude them!

I don't think it's fair to consider it right or wrong to exclude kids; if you're hosting a party, you get to decide who is invited. 

vegasbride2015

^^^^ What vegasgroom said. Frankly, I don't want crying kids at my wedding. I am a mother of a teenaged girl and I find nothing wrong with what I want. Wording it is another thing.

destinationtake2

vegasgroom said:

Jixxt said:

 I have no kids but I personally don't think it is right to exclude them!

I don't think it's fair to consider it right or wrong to exclude kids; if you're hosting a party, you get to decide who is invited. 

Yeah, it really just depends on the vibe/atmosphere you plan or intend for your event.  There is no right or wrong but I can see the "no kids" idea in Vegas easily if the majority show up with the "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" attitude. It may be in the kids best interest. LOL

myriah505

vegasgroom said:

Jixxt said:

 I have no kids but I personally don't think it is right to exclude them!

I don't think it's fair to consider it right or wrong to exclude kids; if you're hosting a party, you get to decide who is invited. 

I don't think it's fair to tell someone else how to feel or what to think about something. This is a public forum where EVERYONE's opinions need to be respected. NOT just yours. Please do not tell someone that their feelings are not fair. 

vegasgroom

myriah505 said:

vegasgroom said:

Jixxt said:

 I have no kids but I personally don't think it is right to exclude them!

I don't think it's fair to consider it right or wrong to exclude kids; if you're hosting a party, you get to decide who is invited. 

I don't think it's fair to tell someone else how to feel or what to think about something. This is a public forum where EVERYONE's opinions need to be respected. NOT just yours. Please do not tell someone that their feelings are not fair. 

Perhaps you missed the part where both her and I each stated "I don't think", hence, we both expressed our own opinions in a polite manner.   Nothing about either of our posts demonstrated a lack of respect.

vegasbride2015

Bottom line is, it is up to the groom and bride. I'm going through this scenario right now, and I am sure I will get enough grief when I make the announcement. 

toughcookie508

I saw something where you can add on your website or a note and say "we cannot accommodate young children at our wedding. If your children are traveling with you here are some recommendations for child care...."

vegasgroom

This is the specific text we put on our wedding website:

We realize that some of our guests may be bringing children with them to Las Vegas for vacations to coincide with our wedding and apologize for any inconvenience our ceremony and reception being adults-only will cause you.  Unfortunately none of the resorts we considered, and ultimately decided on, offered baby sitting services in-house but several did advise us of third parties who offer in-room sitting so your child never leaves the room or premises.  I will list them here; please research them thoroughly of course as we have no personal experience with any of the companies:

• Nannies & Housekeepers USA – Offering in-room sitting services at $45/hour with a four hour minimum.  Nannies are 18 years of age or older, background and drug screened, must hold CPR and First Aid certifications and have two years or more of experience.
• Sittercity – The hotel zip code is 89119; Sittercity allows you to view profiles of babysitters registered with them near the zip code, read reviews of confirmed customers, see certifications they have and background checks.
• The concierge desk of many of the strip hotels can refer out to sitting services they are familiar with.

vegasbride2015

That is excellent information, @vegasgroom. Thank you.