HELP! How many Save-the-dates to send out??

kelspatterson

Is there a general rule of thumb on how many save-the-dates you should send out if you want 250 people at your wedding? I've heard of sending out rounds of invitations based on responses, but how do you handle the save-the-dates? Should we send out 350 to be safe? I'd feel awkward sending out so many save-the-dates and not following each one up with a formal invite. What do y'all think??

MyNameIsNot

kelspatterson said:

Is there a general rule of thumb on how many save-the-dates you should send out if you want 250 people at your wedding? I've heard of sending out rounds of invitations based on responses, but how do you handle the save-the-dates? Should we send out 350 to be safe? I'd feel awkward sending out so many save-the-dates and not following each one up with a formal invite. What do y'all think??

Anyone who gets a save the date must get an invitation.  Not all invitees must get save the dates, but it's best to do them in circles.  For example, only sending STDs to family or out of town guests is not uncommon.  Do not even think about STDs until you have finalized your guest list.

Sending invitations "in rounds" based on responses is called b-listing, and it's terribly rude.  You finalize your guest list, and then you send invitations out in one batch.  No one wants to be your runner up or filler guest.

CMGragain

kelspatterson said:

Is there a general rule of thumb on how many save-the-dates you should send out if you want 250 people at your wedding? I've heard of sending out rounds of invitations based on responses, but how do you handle the save-the-dates? Should we send out 350 to be safe? I'd feel awkward sending out so many save-the-dates and not following each one up with a formal invite. What do y'all think??

Yes.  Send out as few as possible.  Once you send someone an STD, you cannot them cut them from your guest list.  You must either invite them, or cancel your wedding. Sending someone an STD and then NOT sending them an invitation is one of the rudest things that you can do!   STDs are only for people whom you absolutely know that you will invite.
All formal invitations should be sent out at the same time.  Tiered invitations are rude.

huskypuppy14

huskypuppy14

You want 250 people at your wedding, so why the hell would you send 350 save the dates? That makes no sense!

Knottie36491512

Send them only to those whom you really want to invite.

theartistformerlyknownas

Fewer than 250. You cannot rescind an invite (and a STD = invitation), nor should you invite more people than you plan to host. You cannot count on declines (especially up to 200 of them! remember that there are normally at least 2 people per household, so for 250 guests you'll likely send 125 or fewer actual invitations, so sending 350 STDs could get you upwards of 700 guests!). Many brides here had 100% attendance. Is it likely? No, but even having 10-15 people too many can cause really big headaches when it comes to seating.

AddieCake

You do not ever send more STDs or invitations than the number of people you want at your wedding. You cannot depend on decline rates and it is rude to B list people. 

shaker227

Also unless you are already planning on giving everyone a plus one, remember that a lot can happen between now and your wedding and your single friends could have SOs by then. It's better to give yourself some wiggle room so that you don't end up over your budget/venue max

MairePoppy

You should be very careful with those STDs. Once you send them out, you have to follow every single one of them with an invitation. You should firm up you guest list before you send out STDs.

ShesSoCold

I agree with sending STDs only to VIPs. We've seen several posts here from women who sent STDs to everyone on their guest list and have had a sudden job change or financial hardship and now they need to reduce their guest list due to budget reasons. I hope this doesn't happen to you, OP, but it's something to keep in mind.

Also, if you want 250 people at the wedding, only invite 250. If only 220 come, great - you've saved some money! But to send out another round of invitations is quite rude. 

princessleia22

Only send STD's to people you know that you absolutely plan to invite to the wedding.  If you are unsure about inviting someone or if you will have room to invite them, do not send them a STD.

flantastic

kelspatterson said:

Is there a general rule of thumb on how many save-the-dates you should send out if you want 250 people at your wedding? I've heard of sending out rounds of invitations based on responses, but how do you handle the save-the-dates? Should we send out 350 to be safe? I'd feel awkward sending out so many save-the-dates and not following each one up with a formal invite. What do y'all think??

What do you need to be safe about? What are you thinking the purpose of the save the date is? Just curious.

As to the bolded, follow that instinct.

canadianhearts

If you want 250 people at your wedding, you should make a guest list of 250 people (included within that are all +1s) that you want at your wedding. Loves ones and family and friends you want to celebrate with. Key word: "want".

Most likely, you will not get all 250 to attend, but I personally think that it's wrong to invite 350 people in hopes that 250 will say "yes" and 100 will say "no". Count on the STD as an actual invitation. It's not a "maybe invite if so-and-so doesn't come and we can now fit you in". If you invite 350 people, be ready to host each and every one of them. If you invite 250 people and only 50 reply, then enjoy your day with those 50 and don't call up a new list of guests who didn't get the first invite.

I do apologize if I've misread the post, but it sounds like you are trying to hit some kind of a "target" number. Yes, some venues have a minimum requirement, but if this is your issue then you should find a different venue or just pay for unused plates so you don't have to worry about this.

annakay511

Do not send a save the date to anyone not actually invited to the wedding!!! You need a firm guest list before you send the STD and then they MUST be followed up with formal invitations.

If you are thinking you might have a "B list" guest list, those people do not get a STD and can just be sent an invitation after you hear back from the first round.