Grrrrrrr

Inkdancer

You know what really chaps my ass? WAITING.

Specifically, waiting for friends who have said they would like to meet me for dinner, but aren't quite sure when they'll be around. "5:30 or 6", he says. Then "running a little late." Just got an "on my way" text and it will be at least another half hour.

Sure-fire way to tell me you don't respect me is to waste my time.

Jen4948

@Inkdancer! Long, long time no hear from!  Hope you're doing well.

Sorry your friends are keeping you waiting.

Inkdancer

@Jen4948 I went and hid out on the Chit Chat board for a while. I'm awesome! Hubs is happy and we just adopted a kitty.

Said friend has had a lot of schedule problems. He missed the wedding because of a last minute work thing, and this was our first time getting to hang out after that so I was really excited

jenajjthr

That is why invites should always state a time for 30 minutes later than the real time...../sarcasm/

Evil me would order, eat, then be ready to leave when they get there. Sorry not sorry. I was hungry, we were supposed to meet at x o'clock. Next time be on time.

Real me...never meet them again. Ever.

AddieCake

I am the only one in our circle of friends who cares about specific times for shit. Drives me nuts.

huskypuppy14

I have a friend that is not only late to things, but cancels more than half the time. I haven't hung out with her alone in years, because I'm sick of making plans and her canceling them. 

She doesn't just do it to me, she does it to everyone else too. A mutual friend of ours asked if I was doing anything on a day I had plans with this friend. I said I had plans with Lynne. Well I guess you're free then, she said. 

LadyMillil

When I moved from Toronto to Vancouver I noticed that my friends here are NEVER on time for anything. If one of my Toronto friends was running late they would text/call with the exact time they would be late, and they were usually late because they got caught at work or public transit issue. It feels like all my friends in Vancouver are late for everything with no notice. It has gotten to the point where when they say they will be here at 6 I don't expect them until 7. DH had a friend that was the absolute worst about this - friend was supposed to meet us at 6 for dinner. At 7 he texted to say he was just leaving his house. It was an hour drive from his house to ours so he didn't get there until 8. This perpetually being late thing drives me crazy.

*I really don't mean to come across that I think people on the west coast are always late. I have friends here that are always on time, it just feels like I have more friends that are late now.

JCbride2015

Fi's family drives us nuts with this.  FSIL just did this to me on a BM dress shopping trip: I told her to arrive at my house at noon so we could take the train together (the appointment was in NYC and she's not very comfortable going by herself).  I texted her a little after noon to find out where she was.  No, she hasn't left yet; her cousin is going to drive her.  Okay, I say-- we need to leave my house at 1:00 the latest so they should leave now.  I call her at 1:05 and they are still 45 minutes away.  She hadn't even called or texted when she knew she would be running late.  So we went to the appointment without her, got started, and she arrived about 45 minutes late.  Then later the same day, she and the same cousin were literally three hours late to my birthday drinks get together.

I love them.  And it didn't ruin anything about the dress shopping, and birthday drinks were still fun with the people who showed up.  But it's disrespectful and just makes me feel like they value their own time over others'.

steph861

I feel you, girl! FI and I always make a point of being on time (we're usually early, actually). We have two other friends like us, and the rest apparently have their own time zones. It's so annoying.

JCbride2015

This article just popped up on my news feed and I thought you'd enjoy it.  It's written more from a business perspective, but it's so true.  Being late means you waste exponentially more time than the minutes you are actually late, because you're wasting Z minutes x Y people.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/greg-savage/lateness_b_4169441.html

loveislouder

I went on a first date with this guy who showed up 10 ,I mutes late, which made me mad because I absolutely hate it when people are late. Gave him the benefit of the doubt, went on a second date. 15 minutes late. Fine, last shot - third date and he was half an hour late. I left, he called asked where I was. I told him I left because I didn't want to wait anymore, and he called me a selfish bitch. The end.

lurkergirl

loveislouder said:

I went on a first date with this guy who showed up 10 ,I mutes late, which made me mad because I absolutely hate it when people are late. Gave him the benefit of the doubt, went on a second date. 15 minutes late. Fine, last shot - third date and he was half an hour late. I left, he called asked where I was. I told him I left because I didn't want to wait anymore, and he called me a selfish bitch. The end.

Ew!  So glad you left!!

I am perpetually punctual.  I agree with others that being late is disrespectful, and I honestly think it's pretty selfish too.

raissyrais

Ugh I know what you mean. I hate it when people are late, it's my biggest pet peeve I think. It's such a sign of disrespect. What makes you think your time is worth more than mine? Assholes.

ElcaB

I completely agree. I'm one of those people who is always running late, but when I'm meeting someone somewhere I always make sure I'm early or on time. 

Of course, most of my friends always run late too, so then I'm just sitting there waiting. 

flantastic

raissyrais said:

Ugh I know what you mean. I hate it when people are late, it's my biggest pet peeve I think. It's such a sign of disrespect. What makes you think your time is worth more than mine? Assholes.

Yeah, this is why I refused to carpool with a couple other families as soon as I was driving myself to high school. If I'm going to do you the favor of coming all the way to your house and then taking you to school, the least you can do is be ready to go when I get there at the appointed time.

I did decide that lateness to meet people is another one of those things that not everyone realizes is rude - that or just selfishness is why people initially think gaps are an okay idea - but I feel like if they stopped and thought about it for a second, they should realize that they're being disrespectful to everyone else's time.

melbenso

I'm with you, entirely.  DH is perpetually late.  As in at least 45 minutes to an hour late to just about everything.  It drives me crazy.  He doesn't get why.  But I adapted.  I've had a long standing practice of telling him we need to leave for things about an hour before we do.  Amanzingly enough, we get there on time now.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

I have a friend that when I tell her to meet me, she is NEVER on time.  And she never apologizes for being late.  She drives me up the wall.  It gets to the point where I tell her "Meet me at XYZ place for 9:30" knowing I want to meet her at 10am.  I swear she waits for me to text her "Where r u?" before she leaves her house...  She's fantastic as a person, and gets to work on time every day, but meeting friends = complete disrespect of people's time.

We are going out to lunch on Saturday and I need to have her meet me on time so we can pick up another girl on the way there.  Ugh, this won't go well...

Bubblegum5586

Ugh I am that late friend so I'm apologizing on behalf of all of us. (ETA: and by late I mean like 10-15 min I went back and read some of these are 45 min+ that is not me!)

But I will say I NEVER flake. I always follow through on plans!

KatieinBkln

I hate lateness, and always strive not to be. That being said, I give people a break sometimes when the MTA screws them over. (By which I mean, the train was not scheduled for any maintenance, but went 2 mph anyway. Or was not scheduled for maintenance, but then randomly decided to go local due to a derailment, accident, or "sick passenger." I DO expect people to check the website and see if their train is, in fact, running on a given weekend day). I also am of the opinion that if you are more than 15 minutes late for a restaurant reservation and we lose it, then you are THE WORST person. I'm usually ok with a 15-minute buffer among friends, though. I would also like to bring up that I hate it when people are like, 30 minutes early. I've had 2 friends call me like, "I just got off the train at your stop!" at least 20 minutes before they were due to be at my place, and I'm like, "Get a coffee then, honey, because I'm in a goddamn towel at the moment and the dog still needs walking." Edited: paragraphs? Probably not.

flantastic

KatieinBkln said:

I hate lateness, and always strive not to be. That being said, I give people a break sometimes when the MTA screws them over. (By which I mean, the train was not scheduled for any maintenance, but went 2 mph anyway. Or was not scheduled for maintenance, but then randomly decided to go local due to a derailment, accident, or "sick passenger." I DO expect people to check the website and see if their train is, in fact, running on a given weekend day). I also am of the opinion that if you are more than 15 minutes late for a restaurant reservation and we lose it, then you are THE WORST person. I'm usually ok with a 15-minute buffer among friends, though. I would also like to bring up that I hate it when people are like, 30 minutes early. I've had 2 friends call me like, "I just got off the train at your stop!" at least 20 minutes before they were due to be at my place, and I'm like, "Get a coffee then, honey, because I'm in a goddamn towel at the moment and the dog still needs walking." Edited: paragraphs? Probably not.

Yeah, if I'm meeting someone for coffee, I'll just sit at the coffee shop and be early.

If I've been invited to someone's home at a specific time, I may arrive a few minutes early because I've built in buffer travel time, but I'll sit in my parked car around the block and play a game on my phone to be sure the hosts have all their planned time to prepare.

[Deleted User]

I have a monthly dinner date with a girlfriend.  I usually arrive before her.  I order a beer and sit there reading until she shows up.  But this is usually built into our schedule, i.e. We'll meet at X restaurant between 6 and 6:30pm.  I show up closer to 6, she shows up closer to 6:30.  If I had a problem with this, we'd set our date for 6:30, but I like my beer and reading time.

QueridaSara

huskypuppy14 said:

I have a friend that is not only late to things, but cancels more than half the time. I haven't hung out with her alone in years, because I'm sick of making plans and her canceling them. 

She doesn't just do it to me, she does it to everyone else too. A mutual friend of ours asked if I was doing anything on a day I had plans with this friend. I said I had plans with Lynne. Well I guess you're free then, she said. 

This. I have a girlfriend who is either a/ chronically late for *everything* or b/ bails last minute.  I pretty much quit even trying to make plans with her, and said 'when you have time, call me'.  That was months and months ago, and I still haven't heard back.

She wanted to take me to brunch for my birthday (in August), and she mentioned it when I ran into her by accident on the train a few weeks ago, but we'll see.

I mean, God Bless, but I just feel like my time has no value, and it makes me grumpy. So I stopped trying.

lovesclimbing

I am a very punctual person.  H is not.  It's made for some trying times and some tears.  He's a bit better than he was, but I still get quite upset some times and have to work hard not to.