Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

One BM and no GM??

My FH is resistant to many wedding traditions, which is mostly fine. I'm certain we'll have to compromise some as planning progresses. But first off, he does not want to have any GM. I'm fine with not having a large wedding party but I'd like to have one of my best friends as my MOH. I'm worried it will be uneven and/or awkward at the ceremony. My FH has one brother who may not be able to make it bc he lives far away. If he can attend, I hope I can make him a part of the ceremony. Then it would be even. Otherwise, I have one brother as well. So, I'm thinking maybe he could walk my MOH down the aisle. Then maybe they can both be seated during the ceremony so it's not uneven because I don't think my FH want my brother standing on his side of the alter like a default GM, since he's only met my brother once. Also, we won't have any flower girls or a ring bearer. Thoughts?

Re: One BM and no GM??

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You don't have to have even sides. We had one groomswoman and 2 bridesmaids.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My FH is resistant to many wedding traditions, which is mostly fine. I'm certain we'll have to compromise some as planning progresses. But first off, he does not want to have any GM. I'm fine with not having a large wedding party but I'd like to have one of my best friends as my MOH. I'm worried it will be uneven and/or awkward at the ceremony. My FH has one brother who may not be able to make it bc he lives far away. If he can attend, I hope I can make him a part of the ceremony. Then it would be even. Otherwise, I have one brother as well. So, I'm thinking maybe he could walk my MOH down the aisle. Then maybe they can both be seated during the ceremony so it's not uneven because I don't think my FH want my brother standing on his side of the alter like a default GM, since he's only met my brother once. Also, we won't have any flower girls or a ring bearer. Thoughts?

    Don't worry about uneven sides. Also, make sure you and your FH are in agreement regarding his brother's role in the wedding. And remember that GMs are his choice, not yours.
  • Right. FH is worried about uneven sides. He thinks it would be awkward if I have one BM and he has no GM. Of course, he suggested I just not have any BMs either. haha. Maybe the best compromise is to just have my BM seated during the ceremony but participate in the procession, so he doesn't feel unbalance or forced to include GM.
  • Right. FH is worried about uneven sides. He thinks it would be awkward if I have one BM and he has no GM. Of course, he suggested I just not have any BMs either. haha. Maybe the best compromise is to just have my BM seated during the ceremony but participate in the procession, so he doesn't feel unbalance or forced to include GM.
    Really, your attendants are none of his concern. You could have 10 if you want and he could have none or 20 if he wants. But he shouldn't dictate what YOU decide to do. I don't think it's fair that because he is CHOOSING to have no GMs that your BMs shouldn't stand by you. If you want them to stand next to you, then they should. If he doesn't want to be the only person on his side, then he can ask someone to stand up with him. His choice.

    Have him type into google image "uneven wedding party". This is a total non-issue.
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    [Deleted User]
  • Go ahead & ask your best friend to be your MOH. If his brother can make it, maybe he'll decide then to have him as a GM. The only thing you need to talk about in advance is if your state requires two witnesses to sign your marriage license, who would you ask to take on that roll. I know in Ohio they don't have to be a BM & GM, they can even be parents. As long as it was two individuals who witnessed the ceremony.

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You pick your side, he picks his.  If you want to ask your best friend to be MOH, do it.  If you want to ask your brother, he can stand on your side.

    It's wrong of you to push your FI to ask someone if he doesn't want to and it's wrong of him to push you not to.
    [Deleted User]
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