NWR: Hosting Thanksgiving

ohmrs2014

So DH and I thought it would be nice to host Thanksgiving this year so that both of our families can just relax and not have to worry about anything.  Everyone seemed up for which was great.  SIL mentioned that her BFs family usually comes over as well, of course they would be invited, we would never say no, it only adds an extra 3 people.  

Well, DH brought it to my attention that we don't have enough place settings for everyone.  I was so upset.  I related to him what I told him while registering for our dishes, that we need to plan for the future and we should register for 12 settings, not 8.  Yea, he wasn't on board.

So now I'm explaining to him that I don't feel comfortable having guests eat on paper plates.  We only have one set of dishes, the Hotel Collection Bone China.  Looks great for everyday use and we can dress it up if we need to.  

He is against buying another 4 settings and I don't want to be embarrassed for not having enough place settings.  The dishes aren't cheap either so I would wait until they went on sale.  I would have to buy more mugs, dishes, bowls, essentially 4 more of everything we have.  

Am I crazy for wanting to make sure that we have enough place settings for everyone or am I overreacting.  It would be out first hosted holiday and I'm a little OCD when it comes to details and planning.  If things aren't perfect, I get anxiety.

What would you ladies do?

princessofgenovia

I wouldn't do paper plates mixed with regular plates. But I also wouldn't worry about getting the exact same. I'd just get some cheap "close enough" settings from like Target to use day of. In less I could get a smoking deal on the exact same set. And I mean super deal.

We have mismatched dishes now, like some from thrift stores, some from yard sales, hand me downs, ect. We're also hosting Thanksgiving dinner (FI really wants too and promises I'm allowed to drink and watch the parade so I'm in) and honestly I'm not worried about the fact people will eat off mismatched plates. The food will still be good.

beethery

I'd get enough matching corelle settings and call it good if it's going to bother you about not having all matching settings.

theartistformerlyknownas

Honestly, I would buy (or borrow, if you know anyone else who has them) the extra dishes. They'll be on sale again before Thanksgiving and I feel the same way about wanting everything to be nice and matching. We registered for and received all 12.

That said though, I hold myself to a lot higher standard as a hostess than I do other people. As a guest, I wouldn't care if my plate matched anyone else's as long as I had one.

ohmrs2014

lolo883 said:

Honestly, I would buy (or borrow, if you know anyone else who has them) the extra dishes. They'll be on sale again before Thanksgiving and I feel the same way about wanting everything to be nice and matching. We registered for and received all 12.

That said though, I hold myself to a lot higher standard as a hostess than I do other people. As a guest, I wouldn't care if my plate matched anyone else's as long as I had one.

That's how I feel.  As a guest, I don't care.  As a host, I feel obligated to make sure everything is perfect and everyone is comfortable.

AprilH81

I would keep an eye on the sales and get another set if you aren't going to have EVERYONE use paper plates (which our family does to cut down on stuff to clean up).

Do you really need a full set of everything?  Not everyone drinks coffee, not everyone will need a bowl for Thanksgiving dinner...  

flyingfoxes

We are also hosting this year, but I think we'll be using paper plates, lol.  We have a LOT of people though! 

Alikat9614

Over the years, our family has changed to heavy duty paper plates for the holidays. They look nice enough, and then there is so much less clean up and more time to spend sitting and chatting. Although, of I were hosting for the first time, I'm sure I'd want nice matching dinnerware :-/ I'm no help at all!

ohmrs2014

Alikat9614 said:

Over the years, our family has changed to heavy duty paper plates for the holidays. They look nice enough, and then there is so much less clean up and more time to spend sitting and chatting. Although, of I were hosting for the first time, I'm sure I'd want nice matching dinnerware :-/ I'm no help at all!

Maybe that's it too.  It is our first time hosting.  

I could always get the heavy duty paper plates for everyone.  But I also feel like it wouldn't hurt to have 12 settings.  At least I have some time to decide.  And I think I can still use my completion discount from Macys so save some extra money.

FutureMrsN3312

I'm hosting Thanksgiving this year.  First time hosting anything and the first holiday meal H and I will actually have together.  I figured its easier to get my grandfather in and out of my apartment (we have an elevator) as opposed to my parents house (who usually host but they have a ton of stairs).

I didn't even think of the dishes!  After a slight moment of panic I went on our registry and realized that we have a setting of 12.  Mini crisis avoided.

I'm like you ladies ohmrs2014 and lolo.  As I guest I don't care about a plate.  But as a host I want everything to be as perfect as possible.

Next on the holiday list....get some Xanax or something for MIL.   (that's another thread in itself)

jenna8984

I'm more impressed that you have seating for 12...everyone I know has dining tables for 6 or 8. In which case, if 4-6 people are at a different/ adjoining table, who cares if they have different plates? I guess I'm just in the camp of don't give a shit. I can almost guarentee that you'll get compliments on the food, not on the dishes.

lyndausvi

I would buy some inexpensive plates that coordinate with the others from Target or some place similar.    You can set the table in a way it's deliberate and not an after-thought.

I'm fine with mismatched plates.   My parents are the only ones I know who can host 25 people on matching plates.  They can host over 100 people on mismatched china (have I told you they are crazy about china).    I'm not a fan or formal holiday meals on paper plates.  It's just a pet peeve of mine. 

Don't forget silver-ware also. Nothing worse they pulling out 8 forks and then realizing you have 12 people.

ohmrs2014

Oh silverware, I didn't even think about that.  

Our dining room table we can fit 8, and we are going to bring the kitchen table into the dining room.  We can then add 4 extra chairs.

JaxInBlue

We have two coordinating sets of dishes - service for 16.  If everyone in DH's family comes for Thanksgiving who has said they want to, we will still not have enough dishes.  You need to do what feels comfortable to you as the hostess. 

I personally agree with PPs that the dishes do not need to match; a complimentary or coordinating set will be good and you can arrange the place settings in a way that makes the mismatch look purposeful. 

For our Thanksgiving, I'm fairly sure we won't buy another set of dishes; instead, I think we'll have the non-teen nieces and nephews use the salad plates as dinner plates.  DH and I normally use the salad plates for main meals so we know they are big enough to hold a lot of food.

Cookie Pusher

We often have large groups over for meals (16+), and get that really nice plastic stuff that looks like real dishes. This works out well for us because then we don't have to wash any dishes afterwards, but the disposables are more substantial than the ordinary throw-away plates.

NYCMercedes

I'd wait for a sale (Macy's always has a sale) and get four dinner plates and four salad plates only. The stainless won't affect the look of your table so you can get away with cheap stainless. Have fun.

sarawifenow

Not sure if it was mentioned, if you are on a budget constraint, have you considered maybe buying some cheap (think Walmart) dishes for the occasion? You could get simple white dishes for an affordable price and then you can save up to get the rest at a later time.

lyndausvi

You can buy this dinner plate by the piece at Target for $3 each.  Other stores have similar buy the piece plates.  Try even thrift stores.  You might get them even cheaper.   You can buy just dinner plates and either a salad or B&B plates without breaking the budget.  You do not need a full setting.  Just plates.

KPBM89

As a guest, I probably wouldn't notice if my plate were different.  If I did notice, I would assume it was intentional.  We used to have 6 different sets of dishes thanks to college, moving, etc. and the mismatching of it all actually looked kinda neat.  But as a host, I'm with ya in wanting them to match.  If you're going to be hosting family meals in the future, I'd watch the sales and get more of the same.  You'll need them again and won't want to have the same concerns next holiday.  That's just my opinion though!

We have settings for 20 people (H has a huge family), but we haven't gotten to host any meals yet.  We live 16 hours away from his family and 12 hours from mine, so we're the ones who travel to them.  But when we move, all our place settings will come in handy!  They're technically 2 different brands, but they look exactly the same:

http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/gibson-home-heritage-place-48-piece-stoneware-dinnerware-set-in-white/1041537237?Keyword=gibson+home+heritage

and two of these:

http://www1.macys.com/shop/wedding-registry/product/white-elements-paloma-embossed-42-piece-set?ID=683174&CategoryID=53629&LinkType=#fn=PAGEINDEX=3&sp=3&spc=748&ruleId=&slotId=272

(we didn't want more cups so the second set works perfect for having more settings)

southernbelle0915

I'd probably keep watching the sales and get some extra place settings. If you want to host more than 8 people for more than just Thanksgiving this year, you'll need them anyway. Plus people will break dishes at some point, so extras are nice. Especially if your pattern becomes unavailable.

If they don't go on sale before Thanksgiving, I'd just do as PPs suggested and get some cheap placeholders at Target or something. 

Don't worry about things being perfect. You'll drive yourself nuts! We're also hosting Thanksgiving this year, so I'll probably need you to help me not worry about perfection, too!

amelisha

Like several others have suggested, I also have a set of cheap holiday dishes. Just plain white, super simple, and I use them for pretty well all our larger parties mainly because i don't have to worry if something happens to them. I think I bought two boxes of 8 settings with dinner plate, salad plate, bowl, and coffee cups and saucers and it was under $100. They match, they look good with my nicer serving stuff and table decor, and they were SO MUCH CHEAPER than the china. 12 settings will ultimately get used if you host, but if it's a lot of money for right now, definitely consider a more inexpensive set.

larrygaga

We always use heavy duty paper plates due the fact that our thanksgiving is usually about 20 people. 

theartistformerlyknownas

larrygaga said:

We always use heavy duty paper plates due the fact that our thanksgiving is usually about 20 people. 

I had 26 damn people for Brunchgiving last year. Twenty-six. I wanted to strangle then-FI because he added 9 of those people at the very last minute, as if it wasn't a big enough party already. Thankfully a) enough of them were kids that they ate off salad plates, leaving enough dinner plates for the adults and b) I hate doing dishes so much that I have an exorbitant number of plates.

falsara

My aunt always hosts Thanksgiving and Christmas eve at her house every year.  She normally has between 35 and 45 people over at the house.  Most people on my moms side of the family live within a 10 mile radius of each other. 

 She doesn't have that many pieces of china though, so her and my Nana, who lives about a 15 minute drive away from her came up with a deal that all the women who have China/ good plates brings over theirs too, and they just mix and match them.  Especially since people keep getting married and popping out babies, it seems there's more people every year. 

This only works because of how close everyone lives.  Would yo be open to the idea of doing something like the above?  If not, I definitely agree with PPs to get a coordinating set for cheap. 

ETA: Spelling and Paragraphs

ShellD13

I come from a large family.  My parents have a matching set of dishes for 25 but now that my siblings have all married and had kids and the kids are growing and marrying and having babies - most holiday meals see my parents hosting 30+ people.  They've done it all....kids using the salad plates, everyday dishes getting mixed in (they don't match or even coordinate for that matter), and now every once in awhile my mom will even allow heavy duty disposable dishes just to make life easier.

I like the coordinated look but at the end of the day all people will really remember is your hosting and the quality of the food being served.  Dry turkey on beautiful china is still dry turkey.  Delicious mouthwatering turkey on disposable plates is no less delicious because it wasn't served on fine bone china.

Although the other option is you are really insistent on matching dishes is Christmas Tree Shop (if you have one near you).  CTS regularly sells plain white dishware for a $1/$1.50 a piece.  I got a terrific set of plain white large bowls to use for pasta dinners that have seen a lot of use in our house.  Another option is to look around for catering sets of dishes.  They are generally sold by the setting piece/place setting.  (I.e. a box of 12 dinner plates for $15 versus 1 place setting for $15).  Because as PP's have said you probably won't need salad/cereal bowls, cups, and saucers for all of your guests.

theartistformerlyknownas

ShellD13 said:

I come from a large family.  My parents have a matching set of dishes for 25 but now that my siblings have all married and had kids and the kids are growing and marrying and having babies - most holiday meals see my parents hosting 30+ people.  They've done it all....kids using the salad plates, everyday dishes getting mixed in (they don't match or even coordinate for that matter), and now every once in awhile my mom will even allow heavy duty disposable dishes just to make life easier.

I like the coordinated look but at the end of the day all people will really remember is your hosting and the quality of the food being served.  Dry turkey on beautiful china is still dry turkey.  Delicious mouthwatering turkey on disposable plates is no less delicious because it wasn't served on fine bone china.

Although the other option is you are really insistent on matching dishes is Christmas Tree Shop (if you have one near you).  CTS regularly sells plain white dishware for a $1/$1.50 a piece.  I got a terrific set of plain white large bowls to use for pasta dinners that have seen a lot of use in our house.  Another option is to look around for catering sets of dishes.  They are generally sold by the setting piece/place setting.  (I.e. a box of 12 dinner plates for $15 versus 1 place setting for $15).  Because as PP's have said you probably won't need salad/cereal bowls, cups, and saucers for all of your guests.

Target has the boxes of 12 plain white porcelain dinner or salad plates for $24. Not a bad option, but if your H is already leery of adding an additional 4-8 plates to be stored I doubt he'll want 12-24 new ones.

wandajune6

I bought a set of 50 plates at a restaurant supply store years ago. When I first started hosting dinner parties on my own, I realized that I couldn't afford "nice"plates for everyone and that it bothered me when things broke. I think I have 44 now. FI's family is huge so I love using them so everyone has matching plates but I don't worry about the little kids chipping the "good" stuff. Also, we can stow them away easily but pull them out when needed.

If you think you'll entertain big groups for years to come, this approach works. Ikea or other cheapie places work too.

ohmrs2014

Our dishes are the square ones so I would need to find square ones that match. I've resigned to the idea of using fancy paper plates, like the chinet brand and using plastic utensils. I'm ok with it, as long as it looks good so I might buy some fancy chargers and such to decorate with. But DH was open to the idea that in future, we can purchase the rest of the settings to make 12, just not right now. And I totally get it, they are expensive. Problem seems to be solves. Thanks everyone for your input!

STARMOON44

I would buy 4 new plates, not whole place settings. No guest in my house uses paper or plastic. Absolutely not. And anyone I'd consider marrying would know that I have standards. The plates are $22 each, so for me saving up for that btwn now and thanksgiving would mean skipping pedicures and bringing my lunch.

Sugargirl1019

I roll my eyes at your DH. You need 12 place settings!

That being said, PPs have given great advice on extra plates. Do not do plastic or paper plates.

I'm like lolo, and I would want everyone to have matching sets, especially on my first hosting.

CMGragain

http://www.ebay.com/itm/HOTEL-Collection-WHITE-Round-Bone-China-Dinnerware-SET-OF-10-PIECES-MSRP-232-/111383970860?pt=Dinnerware_Serving_Dishes&hash=item19ef00842c

http://www.ebay.com/itm/3-Piece-HOTEL-Collection-WHITE-Round-Bone-China-Dinnerware-SET-Plate-BOWL-Mug-/310619318876?pt=Dinnerware_Serving_Dishes&hash=item48525aaa5c

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