My parents divorced when I was ten and my father has had very sporatic contact with us ever since. Long story short (well I will try) he left my mother pretty flat and went on to have some mid life crisis and married a woman who at the time I was 14 and she was 22 and he was 40. His wife has never been very kind to me (think pennies in a box for christmas while watching her children open the gifts I got them the pennies were to encourage me to save, or when I went to college freshman year and gained my freshman giving me size 2 clothes and saying they were for when i got my weight back down.) My father makes very very very good money now has three children has become very religious and intolerant (not saying those two are the same thing but that's where we are). He has on numerous occassions when were speaking told me what a disapointment I am (I am a full time attorney and paid my own way through law school and college never took a dime from him and he never offered). We didn't speak through all of law school (yes I did see a therapist to help me work through this) and i decided about two years ago when I graduated I would reach back out to him for a relationship. It was a terrible mistake complete with his wife writing me snarky emails about when I would be able to come to the house because their children would be uncomfortable with me as they didnt know me and my father saying he would be visiting the state my fiancee and i know live in only to text me the morning of to say he wouldn't be coming because he'd be taking his wife and their kids to a vacation spot in that state a month later so no point for two trips (clearly I was not invited on this trip.) Anyway, when I got engaged 6 months ago I called my father to tell him and he said "That's great I'm so happy you need to call your step mother and tell her as this needs to come from you not me." I wrote his wife and told her and I never heard anything from either of them again no card no note nothing. It's been 6 months and I have heard nothing from them. My grandfather who raised me will be walking me down the aisle. My fiancee has watched my cry over this and does not think my father should be attending. My mother and step father, my self and fiance, and my future in laws are paying for the wedding. This was a vent and I am sorry for the length but I'm wondering if there are people who have experienced this and how did they cope? Do you feel it's even necessary for me to say I guess via text or email "I think it's best we go our seperate ways for good and in case you were planning on attending (not that he knows where when or if the wedding is still happening) you shouldn't?" I am embarassed and saddened and want to be able to find some peace with this because I am so lucky to have so much love from everyone else in my life. Thank you.