So, the run down:
We are a pretty creative couple having a wedding in Brooklyn, NY. My fiance has a big italian family with divorced and remarried parents so that's a lot of family up front. So we were going to have a ceremony with about 90 people (74 family and 6 bridal party and staff (dj/band)) to the sit down dinner. This will be followed by some speeches and a cocktail hour. We will disappear for wedding photos while our second wave of "after party" guests arrive (60 of our other fun friends from Brooklyn and Philly mostly). We arrive announced as the new Mr. and Mrs. We will then have assorted desserts, cocktails, cake, hors d'ourves, a photobooth as well as a Beatles cover band and then a DJ late into the night! Also, we will be VERY clear about the "no gifts please" on the After Party invites.
I have been reading all these threads about how it is so rude and tacky to have people only come to the after party... but as described here, does it really sound that bad??
Plus, I think it's nice to spend some time with the family you haven't seen in a long time (on your side) or have never met (on his side) before the chaos of all the friends coming in...
I am pretty stubborn so, I might just do this my way!
I guess I'm just worried that I really will come off as tacky and rude as the boards are saying!