Wedding Party

Age Difference Between Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

I am 26 and my fiancé is 27 but he grew up with a brother who is much older and because of this, has always hung with a group of friends that is much older (i.e. 40 plus) all of which are married and have young families. I have established a list of my attendants who range in age from 19-26 but am trying to figure out where to draw the line in making for a much less awkward bridal party for everyone. How old is too old when it comes to this mix and would I be better to cut my list down and keep it to closer family members only? Am I being unfair in saying that a man with an 18 year old son is not interested in being in a wedding party and walking down the aisle with a mid-20's bridesmaid?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Re: Age Difference Between Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I see absolutely no issue here. You chose the people closest to you, he choses the people closest to him. Who on Earth is going to be sitting at your ceremony thinking that their ages look weird? Um, nobody. You don't need equal number of sides either. They don't even need to do anything "together". They don't need to walk down the aisle together, they certainly don't need to dance together so I'm not sure why it would be awkward for anyone involved.

                                                                     

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    Blue_Birdesstee33
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Straight up over thinking.  My MOH was 28 and our best man was 40.  I didn't even think about ages until I read this post.  That's how much of a non-issue this is.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Over thinking, party of one.

  • edited October 2014
    I was MOH in a wedding where the Best Man was 64 (grooms dad). Non-issue.

    ETA - I was 24 at the time.
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  • I'm considering asking my 9 year old goddaughter to be my Maid of Honor.  No idea who my FH will ask to be his best man, but all his best friends are between the ages of 35-42.  Maybe the MOH and BM will process and recess together, maybe they'll walk alone, I so don't care as long as the people we most love in the world are standing up next to us.
    novella1186
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You are creating an issue where none exists.  And frankly, you are turning the WP into something icky.

    These people all stand up next to you while you get married.  They may walk back down the aisle together.  They do not date, make out, or pretend to be a couple for the evening.  There is absolutely no reason that an older man can't escort a young woman down the aisle or vice versa.  

    The implication that he would "not be interested" in walking down the aisle with the younger woman suggests that you think they will be doing something other than walking.  
    novella1186[Deleted User]jenijoyk
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Scandalous!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • My MOH is my sister.  She'll be 14.  The best man is FFIL.  He's 67.  Yes, we have been like, "Haha, they're really far apart in age."  And that's about the extent of it.




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  • In my sister's wedding, I was 15 and escorted by a 30 something man I didn't know (BIL's friend). He politely held my arm for approximately 20 yards and then we didn't speak for the rest of the wedding. No one cared or was like, "OMGOSH THEY TOUCHED ARMS THEY'RE PROBABLY A COUPLE BUT SHE'S UNDERAGE!!!!"
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    [Deleted User]jenijoyk
  • You don't choose the WP based on age. That would be as silly as choosing ppl based on hair color. "Hm... too many brunettes. I need to find a couple blondes to match up..." 

    You choose the WP based on who you love and care about the most, and who you can't imagine NOT having with you up there. If your FI asks a guy friend to be a GM and he really has no interest, then he's free to decline. But why do you think he'll have no interest just based on being a little bit older? Does an older age make you care about your friends and their weddings less? 
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    ohannabelle[Deleted User]
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's only weird if you make it weird.  


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    Blue_Bird
  •  

    You don't choose the WP based on age. That would be as silly as choosing ppl based on hair color. "Hm... too many brunettes. I need to find a couple blondes to match up..." 

    You choose the WP based on who you love and care about the most, and who you can't imagine NOT having with you up there. If your FI asks a guy friend to be a GM and he really has no interest, then he's free to decline. But why do you think he'll have no interest just based on being a little bit older? Does an older age make you care about your friends and their weddings less? 

    Hahaha! This happened to my friend! She took us all dress shopping with her and her mom, and her mom took one (horrified) look at us 5 blonde bridesmaids, freaked out, and then ordered her to ask one of her cousins to be a BM so there would at least be one asian girl in the mix. It was amazing.
  • I am 26 and my fiancé is 27 but he grew up with a brother who is much older and because of this, has always hung with a group of friends that is much older (i.e. 40 plus) all of which are married and have young families. I have established a list of my attendants who range in age from 19-26 but am trying to figure out where to draw the line in making for a much less awkward bridal party for everyone. How old is too old when it comes to this mix and would I be better to cut my list down and keep it to closer family members only? Am I being unfair in saying that a man with an 18 year old son is not interested in being in a wedding party and walking down the aisle with a mid-20's bridesmaid?

    Yes, because this isn't your decision to make. You pick your attendants, your FI picks his. End of story. 
    southernbelle0915
  • When I was in my cousin's wedding I was 16 and my escort was the groom's dad, who was his best man. I didn't explode or anything. 
    [Deleted User]
  • OP, I know weddings bring out the crazy in everyone :) but seriously, don't worry about this. It isn't a big deal. You want your best friends with you, and he wants his brother and best friends with him. That's the important part, not whether the pairs "match". But don't make them dance together or anything, because that would be awkward (and always is regardless of ages). 
    [Deleted User]
  • Yes, you're being unfair. You're calling him old. People don't like that. Besides, these are his friends right? His choice.
  • You can a) make new, older friends b) have FI make new, younger friends or c) stop acting like how old your friends are is more important than the fact that they are your friends. I vote c.
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    zitiqueen
  • I think of all the things to worry about, this is not one of them. It'll be fine! Relax and have a glass of wine :)
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  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
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    This is way beyond the realm of shit that matters. I don't understand why you would even give this one songle thought.
    zitiqueen[Deleted User]
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I had a 12-year-old BM walking with a 25-year-old guy.  It was no big deal. 

    If you want, they don't even have to walk together.  A common way to do the procession is have the men stand up front with the groom and then the bridesmaids walk in single file. You could have the exit single file as well.

    I'm curious, @Knottie73097626, why do you think it will be awkward?
  • Yeah...so - I think you FI should force you to ask people who are older than the ones you did. Explain kindly to your ladies that you are worried about age gaps, and since you are the agist - FI found it only appropriate that you be the one to change.


    Seriously...our oldest attendant is in his 50's. Guess what? It's cuz we love him - and FI would SO call him to bury a body. 

    This seems super immature to me. They are people. Age means nothing. GTFO.
  • So, your wedding party won't be featured on the cover of Bridal magazine where everyone is perfectly matched in age, good looks, and height, BUT it will be a picture that you and FI can look at for years to come and relish that your favorite people were there to spend it with you.  My sister in her mid-20s was my MOH and FI's 60-something dad was his Best Man.  My ladies were in their late 20s, except one in her 30s, and the men were all in their late 30s.  Bridal parties will often be a somewhat awkward mix since they often don't know one another (or know each other well).  The best thing to do is have everyone meet ahead of time (perhaps the rehearsal) and keep things light.
  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Please tell me you aren't doing a wedding party dance. That's awkward as hell even if the BMs and GMs are the same age.
  • My MOH & BMs (four ladies total) were all 32. My husband's father was his best man (65), the two GMs were DH's nephew (18) and my brother (28). No big deal.
  • My youngest bridesmaid will be 11 and the oldest groomsman will be in his 40s. It will be fine. Don't worry about this one.


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