Age Difference Between Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

Knottie73097626

I am 26 and my fiancé is 27 but he grew up with a brother who is much older and because of this, has always hung with a group of friends that is much older (i.e. 40 plus) all of which are married and have young families. I have established a list of my attendants who range in age from 19-26 but am trying to figure out where to draw the line in making for a much less awkward bridal party for everyone. How old is too old when it comes to this mix and would I be better to cut my list down and keep it to closer family members only? Am I being unfair in saying that a man with an 18 year old son is not interested in being in a wedding party and walking down the aisle with a mid-20's bridesmaid?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

NYCMercedes

Knottie73097626 said:

I am 26 and my fiancé is 27 but he grew up with a brother who is much older and because of this, has always hung with a group of friends that is much older (i.e. 40 plus) all of which are married and have young families. I have established a list of my attendants who range in age from 19-26 but am trying to figure out where to draw the line in making for a much less awkward bridal party for everyone. How old is too old when it comes to this mix and would I be better to cut my list down and keep it to closer family members only? Am I being unfair in saying that a man with an 18 year old son is not interested in being in a wedding party and walking down the aisle with a mid-20's bridesmaid?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

You're overthinking this. You could (a) let it go because it's a 30 second walk and who cares or, (b) have the women recess first and then the men. Really, it's just an escort down one aisle.

sarawifenow

You are way overthinking this. The only reason it would be awkward is if you go into the situation the way you are. Nobody would even notice age difference. It's not like a 19 year old is gonna start sleeping with a 40+ year old at your wedding just because she walked down the aisle with him. Seriously, let this go.

jenna8984

I see absolutely no issue here. You chose the people closest to you, he choses the people closest to him. Who on Earth is going to be sitting at your ceremony thinking that their ages look weird? Um, nobody. You don't need equal number of sides either. They don't even need to do anything "together". They don't need to walk down the aisle together, they certainly don't need to dance together so I'm not sure why it would be awkward for anyone involved.

holyguacamole79

Straight up over thinking.  My MOH was 28 and our best man was 40.  I didn't even think about ages until I read this post.  That's how much of a non-issue this is.

Maggie0829

Over thinking, party of one.

southernbelle0915

I was MOH in a wedding where the Best Man was 64 (grooms dad). Non-issue.

ETA - I was 24 at the time.

[Deleted User]

I'm considering asking my 9 year old goddaughter to be my Maid of Honor.  No idea who my FH will ask to be his best man, but all his best friends are between the ages of 35-42.  Maybe the MOH and BM will process and recess together, maybe they'll walk alone, I so don't care as long as the people we most love in the world are standing up next to us.

ohannabelle

This will be a disaster.

Over 40 year olds? And they'd actually be walking next to young people? I'm horrified.

What kind of God would allow this?

Poison all the old people. Or plan your wedding for evening, because they all need to go to bed early.  Or say nothing, and they'll just forget, because they're senile. 

I vote for poison. This must be stopped. 

 

MyNameIsNot

You are creating an issue where none exists.  And frankly, you are turning the WP into something icky.

These people all stand up next to you while you get married.  They may walk back down the aisle together.  They do not date, make out, or pretend to be a couple for the evening.  There is absolutely no reason that an older man can't escort a young woman down the aisle or vice versa.  

The implication that he would "not be interested" in walking down the aisle with the younger woman suggests that you think they will be doing something other than walking.  

AddieCake

Scandalous!

CMGragain

What, exactly, are you expecting your bridesmaids and groomsmen to do together?

lurkergirl

My MOH is my sister.  She'll be 14.  The best man is FFIL.  He's 67.  Yes, we have been like, "Haha, they're really far apart in age."  And that's about the extent of it.

manateehugger

In my sister's wedding, I was 15 and escorted by a 30 something man I didn't know (BIL's friend). He politely held my arm for approximately 20 yards and then we didn't speak for the rest of the wedding. No one cared or was like, "OMGOSH THEY TOUCHED ARMS THEY'RE PROBABLY A COUPLE BUT SHE'S UNDERAGE!!!!"

novella1186

You don't choose the WP based on age. That would be as silly as choosing ppl based on hair color. "Hm... too many brunettes. I need to find a couple blondes to match up..." 

You choose the WP based on who you love and care about the most, and who you can't imagine NOT having with you up there. If your FI asks a guy friend to be a GM and he really has no interest, then he's free to decline. But why do you think he'll have no interest just based on being a little bit older? Does an older age make you care about your friends and their weddings less? 

levioosa

It's only weird if you make it weird.  

jenijoyk

 

novella1186 said:

You don't choose the WP based on age. That would be as silly as choosing ppl based on hair color. "Hm... too many brunettes. I need to find a couple blondes to match up..." 

You choose the WP based on who you love and care about the most, and who you can't imagine NOT having with you up there. If your FI asks a guy friend to be a GM and he really has no interest, then he's free to decline. But why do you think he'll have no interest just based on being a little bit older? Does an older age make you care about your friends and their weddings less? 

Hahaha! This happened to my friend! She took us all dress shopping with her and her mom, and her mom took one (horrified) look at us 5 blonde bridesmaids, freaked out, and then ordered her to ask one of her cousins to be a BM so there would at least be one asian girl in the mix. It was amazing.

zitiqueen

Knottie73097626 said:

I am 26 and my fiancé is 27 but he grew up with a brother who is much older and because of this, has always hung with a group of friends that is much older (i.e. 40 plus) all of which are married and have young families. I have established a list of my attendants who range in age from 19-26 but am trying to figure out where to draw the line in making for a much less awkward bridal party for everyone. How old is too old when it comes to this mix and would I be better to cut my list down and keep it to closer family members only? Am I being unfair in saying that a man with an 18 year old son is not interested in being in a wedding party and walking down the aisle with a mid-20's bridesmaid?

Yes, because this isn't your decision to make. You pick your attendants, your FI picks his. End of story. 

thelastdreamer

When I was in my cousin's wedding I was 16 and my escort was the groom's dad, who was his best man. I didn't explode or anything. 

SachaBee

OP, I know weddings bring out the crazy in everyone but seriously, don't worry about this. It isn't a big deal. You want your best friends with you, and he wants his brother and best friends with him. That's the important part, not whether the pairs "match". But don't make them dance together or anything, because that would be awkward (and always is regardless of ages). 

LittlePeachBlossom

Yes, you're being unfair. You're calling him old. People don't like that. Besides, these are his friends right? His choice.

Liatris2010

You can a) make new, older friends b) have FI make new, younger friends or c) stop acting like how old your friends are is more important than the fact that they are your friends. I vote c.

mrsmagicgeek

I think of all the things to worry about, this is not one of them. It'll be fine! Relax and have a glass of wine

ashley8918

This is way beyond the realm of shit that matters. I don't understand why you would even give this one songle thought.

lovesclimbing

I had a 12-year-old BM walking with a 25-year-old guy.  It was no big deal. 

If you want, they don't even have to walk together.  A common way to do the procession is have the men stand up front with the groom and then the bridesmaids walk in single file. You could have the exit single file as well.

I'm curious, @Knottie73097626, why do you think it will be awkward?

abbyj700

Yeah...so - I think you FI should force you to ask people who are older than the ones you did. Explain kindly to your ladies that you are worried about age gaps, and since you are the agist - FI found it only appropriate that you be the one to change.

Seriously...our oldest attendant is in his 50's. Guess what? It's cuz we love him - and FI would SO call him to bury a body. 

This seems super immature to me. They are people. Age means nothing. GTFO.

knottie75e99fe4be548d97

So, your wedding party won't be featured on the cover of Bridal magazine where everyone is perfectly matched in age, good looks, and height, BUT it will be a picture that you and FI can look at for years to come and relish that your favorite people were there to spend it with you.  My sister in her mid-20s was my MOH and FI's 60-something dad was his Best Man.  My ladies were in their late 20s, except one in her 30s, and the men were all in their late 30s.  Bridal parties will often be a somewhat awkward mix since they often don't know one another (or know each other well).  The best thing to do is have everyone meet ahead of time (perhaps the rehearsal) and keep things light.

lc07

Please tell me you aren't doing a wedding party dance. That's awkward as hell even if the BMs and GMs are the same age.

dramamonkey

My MOH & BMs (four ladies total) were all 32. My husband's father was his best man (65), the two GMs were DH's nephew (18) and my brother (28). No big deal.

hellohkb

My youngest bridesmaid will be 11 and the oldest groomsman will be in his 40s. It will be fine. Don't worry about this one.