Bachelorette Party Disappointment

mego2708

So this weekend is my bachelorette party. When my MOH (my sister) started planning it, I told her I wanted something really low-key. (I went to a big multiple day out of town bachelorette party this summer, and things got a little out of hand, so I didn't want to have any similar experiences.) They planned dinner out at a restaurant I like, and then invited people back to my apartment for drinks, movies, games, snacks and a sleepover. Around 20 people were invited (including myself, my MOH and bridesmaid.) Now yesterday and today people are getting back to me and letting me know they can't come. Some people are out of town and don't want to travel this weekend and again in a few weeks for the wedding. Some people work irregular hours and have to work. Some people have other things going on or just said they won't be there. In the end, it looks like it will be myself, my MOH, bridesmaid, 2 coworkers, and my mom at dinner. Then just my MOH, bridesmaid and I back at my apartment afterwards. I understand that people have lives outside of my wedding, and I'm really not upset with people for not coming, I'm just disappointed. I was really looking forward to having a relaxing girls night before wedding crunch time kicks in.

labro

@mego2708 I get the feeling. Two of my best friends moved this year and haven't been able to attend any of the pre-wedding festivities. I miss them so much and it's hard not having those extra special people around. I try to remind myself that it's more important that they are going to be there for the wedding even when they can't be there for all the extra things.

mego2708

@LaPeanut1018 Yeah, I think I'm just so stressed about everything that I'm letting this, (which I would normally be completely fine with) get to me. I need to just get over it and concentrate on having a good time with the girls that will be able to be there.

Kristynnnn

I felt the same way about my bachelorette. 2 of my BMs didn't even go (FHs sisters) and haven't even asked me about if I had fun or how it was. They said they were going at first, then at the last minute told my MOH it's not a good weekend for them.  Then, my fiance ended up having his brother's and father over to our house when I was away at my bachelorette, and they showed up and hung out there for the day instead of meeting up for dinner even.  It hurt at the time, and even now it's something I won't ever forget which is unfortunate because they will be my SILs, but I would never say anything to them about it or treat them differently. I wish my FH said something to them, but he just made excuses for them and didn't really see it as a big deal. It's just that some people put in the effort, and some choose not to because it's easier not to. 

However, I will say that my bachelorette party was one of the funnest nights out I've ever had, so them not being their did not at all damper the evening. It was probably more fun with just my bestfriends there anyways! I hope you feel the same way, now that yours is done too!

Pepperally

My future SIL (FI's brother's wife) kind of did something shady.  We had my shower and bachelorette all in the same day/evening.  It was mainly my friends attending both, plus my SIL and future SIL, and my mom and FMIL.  Well, my SIL (brother's wife) planned everything.  She emailed my future SIL and told her our plan to do the painting/drinking thing after the shower part and how to register for it online.  She wrote her back and said "sounds like a great idea!" (I didn't know this until after the bachelorette...my SIL showed me the emails). 

So I get to the shower and I don't say anything to future SIL about the painting event afterwards, because I really didn't know if she was going or not. Well, she didn't go. 

With the only response to my SIL's email being "Sounds like a great idea!", wouldn't you think she was going to go?    Don't you think she could have been more upfront and told my SIL "Sorry, I won't be able to attend, but sounds like a great idea!".  I'm just not overal impressed with this girl, and haven't since I first started dating FI...for various reasons.  So does this surprise me?  I guess not. 

Anyway, sounds like many of us had some weird/unexpected occurrences with these things.  It sucks, and it's unwelcomed drama when you just want to celebrate with everyone possible.  It's not fun when people have lives with totally legit excuses (hahaha), but it's worse with those who you know kind of flaked out on it all...it's just a slightly disheartening feeling when you feel like people don't see it the same way you do.

mego2708

@Pepperally I completely agree with what you said, it is a disappointment. I also find what your future SIL said to be misleading, I'm sorry that you had that experience. I hope you had fun anyway!

 

mego2708

@Kristynnnn I'm sorry that you too had a disappointing experience. You're right though, I still had tons of fun with

billagirly

I understand! One of my cousins told my mom she'd see us at my shower, and then she and her mom (my aunt) didn't show up. Apparently, she knew someone was actually throwing HER a baby shower that same day and time, and didn't want to tell us she couldn't come. It wouldn't have been a big deal, except that she told me to let her know if there were any more showers so she could come to one. I let her know... and never heard another word.

mocarski002

3 of 5 of my bridesmaids didnt attend my bachelorrete. 2 live out of state and the other is my younger sister who's not 21. We did wine tours in LI. The 2 that live out of state also couldn't make my shower that was the same weekend. Its disapointing but their lives cant be put on hold for our weddings. The two out of state bridesmaids I haven't seen in 4 years and I cant wait to see them this weekend!!

Dignity100

So far we had to split my bachelorrete party up.  The girls had scheduled a spa day, but for the body scrub & facials we couldn't do them the same day because they only have one licensed person on staff and she's not in - so I did that over the weekend.  Then Friday we'll get our nails done and go out to lunch/dinner.  I don't think we'll be out all that late or anything - but it does feel so totally unorganized. There's only two ladies that does nails at the salon the girls picked out so we won't even be in the same room for everything.

I guess I'm ok with it being broken up though.  I was a little worried the facial might have caused irritation and my face is a little dry from the acne treatment she did, so I'm nursing it back.