Chit Chat

Your kid did WHAT?

jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

Talked to my best friend on the phone yesterday and she was telling me how she was doing dishes or something just for a few minutes and she realized her 2 year old was no longer nearby so she went to check on where he was. She found him spraying her husband's cologne in her newborn's mouth!! She called poison control and everything was fine but wow that's scary.

So I was wondering if you guys have stories about your kids or niece/nephew that caused a- What the fuck?! How the fuck?! Why the fuck?!

                                                                 

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Re: Your kid did WHAT?

  • esstee33esstee33 Pittsburgh member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    When I was a little little kid (like 3 or 4), my great grandma was changing my then-newborn sister. I saw her pick up the baby powder and shake it on. She turned around to grab something else and, as the story in the family goes, she turned back around to find that I'd dumped the entire bottle of baby powder all over my baby sister. Scary moment that turned into a funny family story. 
  • lurkergirllurkergirl ATL member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2014
    My friend's baby really loves brushing her teeth.  (She has like 5 of them...however many they have at a little over a year?)  Friend finally had to turn off the faucet to get baby to stop.  She stepped out of the bathroom for a second and returned to find that the baby had "proceeded to find an alternative solution...toilet water...She was slurping up that toilet water babbling brook style on the never ending story."



    edited for clarity




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    huskypuppy14
  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    When I was 2, we were at my grandparent's house for a BBQ. Dad was grilling on a charcoal grill while mom was inside prepping things. Dad was supposed to be watching me as I played in the yard, but he turned his back. I strolled up to the grill and grabbed a hot charcoal! My mom acted quickly and filled a bottle with ice and wrapped my hand around it then rushed me to the ER. Surprisingly, I have no scarring. My dad is a moron and it was the first of many times he dropped the ball as a parent.

     







  • My mom wrote down all the crazy things my little sister and I did/said when we were little. I mostly said funny things, but my sister was a rascal and got into lots of trouble. There's an eight-year age gap between us, so I remember most of these things. Here are some of her highlights:

    *Got a chair and put a wrapped Christmas present in the toaster oven and turned it on. We got to it before there was any damage.

    *Put gourds from a Halloween centrepiece in the oven. When my mom went to pre-heat the oven (and didn't know the gourds were in there) she ended up cooking them. The oven lock was installed pretty quickly after that.

    *Got into a pack of maxi-pads and stuck them on pretty much every surface in the room (including the TV, the dog, and her own forehead).

    *Was following my mom around while she was decorating for Christmas. My mom heard a crunching noise and turned around to find my sister eating a mini Christmas bulb. When my dad was changing her diaper later, he said "was it a green one?" when he found the remnants. He also found a thumbtack in the same diaper (no idea where she got that). Somehow they passed through her without causing any damage, luckily.

    *Got a jelly ring mold stuck on her head/neck. We had to put plastic wrap on her head to slide it off.

    *Heard my mom telling a friend about how she (my sister) had cut her own hair once. Promptly found my safety scissors and cut her hair again.

    *Put herself in the corner during dinner because she "felt like she was about to do something bad."

    There are lots more. I'm going to be remembering them all day now.
    I can't finish your post because WHAT THE FUCK???!!!  You must explain!!




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    steph861
  • steph861steph861 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    My mom wrote down all the crazy things my little sister and I did/said when we were little. I mostly said funny things, but my sister was a rascal and got into lots of trouble. There's an eight-year age gap between us, so I remember most of these things. Here are some of her highlights:

    *Got a chair and put a wrapped Christmas present in the toaster oven and turned it on. We got to it before there was any damage.

    *Put gourds from a Halloween centrepiece in the oven. When my mom went to pre-heat the oven (and didn't know the gourds were in there) she ended up cooking them. The oven lock was installed pretty quickly after that.

    *Got into a pack of maxi-pads and stuck them on pretty much every surface in the room (including the TV, the dog, and her own forehead).

    *Was following my mom around while she was decorating for Christmas. My mom heard a crunching noise and turned around to find my sister eating a mini Christmas bulb. When my dad was changing her diaper later, he said "was it a green one?" when he found the remnants. He also found a thumbtack in the same diaper (no idea where she got that). Somehow they passed through her without causing any damage, luckily.

    *Got a jelly ring mold stuck on her head/neck. We had to put plastic wrap on her head to slide it off.

    *Heard my mom telling a friend about how she (my sister) had cut her own hair once. Promptly found my safety scissors and cut her hair again.

    *Put herself in the corner during dinner because she "felt like she was about to do something bad."

    There are lots more. I'm going to be remembering them all day now.
    I can't finish your post because WHAT THE FUCK???!!!  You must explain!!
    It was one of these things:

    image

    She found it in the Tupperware drawer, put it on her head, and was wearing it like a necklace. My parents couldn't get it off her, so they put plastic wrap on her scalp/forehead (not her nose and mouth!) to slide it off. If that hadn't worked they would have had to cut it. (My dad is a doctor and wouldn't do anything to actually endanger my sister.)

    ETA: They didn't know she had found it until it was already on her head.
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  • My mom wrote down all the crazy things my little sister and I did/said when we were little. I mostly said funny things, but my sister was a rascal and got into lots of trouble. There's an eight-year age gap between us, so I remember most of these things. Here are some of her highlights:

    *Got a chair and put a wrapped Christmas present in the toaster oven and turned it on. We got to it before there was any damage.

    *Put gourds from a Halloween centrepiece in the oven. When my mom went to pre-heat the oven (and didn't know the gourds were in there) she ended up cooking them. The oven lock was installed pretty quickly after that.

    *Got into a pack of maxi-pads and stuck them on pretty much every surface in the room (including the TV, the dog, and her own forehead).

    *Was following my mom around while she was decorating for Christmas. My mom heard a crunching noise and turned around to find my sister eating a mini Christmas bulb. When my dad was changing her diaper later, he said "was it a green one?" when he found the remnants. He also found a thumbtack in the same diaper (no idea where she got that). Somehow they passed through her without causing any damage, luckily.

    *Got a jelly ring mold stuck on her head/neck. We had to put plastic wrap on her head to slide it off.

    *Heard my mom telling a friend about how she (my sister) had cut her own hair once. Promptly found my safety scissors and cut her hair again.

    *Put herself in the corner during dinner because she "felt like she was about to do something bad."

    There are lots more. I'm going to be remembering them all day now.
    I can't finish your post because WHAT THE FUCK???!!!  You must explain!!
    It was one of these things:

    image

    She found it in the Tupperware drawer, put it on her head, and was wearing it like a necklace. My parents couldn't get it off her, so they put plastic wrap on her scalp/forehead (not her nose and mouth!) to slide it off. If that hadn't worked they would have had to cut it. (My dad is a doctor and wouldn't do anything to actually endanger my sister.)

    ETA: They didn't know she had found it until it was already on her head.
    Hahaha, I was sure it was somehow innocuous, but it gave me a really good laugh!! :)




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    steph861
  • raissyraisraissyrais London member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    My sister was sick once, she was 7 and I was 2. My mom has just bathed her, she was all clean and smelled nice and I got jealous. I took my orange juice cuppy and threw it all on her. Needless to say she had to be bathed again. 
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  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2014
    Once when I was like four I put my brother in his stroller (he was 1.5) and then shoved him down our driveway (a very steep hill).  He crashed into a bush.  My Mom was understandably piiiiisssed.  I don't totally remember my reasoning, but I think it was because I thought it would be fun.  

    ETA: Fun as in I thought he would enjoy going fast.  I wasn't a sadistic child.  


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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    My sister was sick once, she was 7 and I was 2. My mom has just bathed her, she was all clean and smelled nice and I got jealous. I took my orange juice cuppy and threw it all on her. Needless to say she had to be bathed again. 
    Oh man. My big sister and I had serious sibling rivalry and fought all the time. In grade school, she was once threatening to pour orange juice over my head and I figured I'd stand up to her by calling her bluff. Nope, she poured it over my head. Screaming ensued.  The next day we had to go to Confession (Catholic school!) and she confessed; the Priest about died laughing. 
    ________________________________


    raissyraissteph861bride2b71614kaitlynmichelle
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    No siblings, so I was the troublemaker.

    I was not quite 2. My mom was running a bath for me, and I toddled into the next room. Suddenly, she hears a pop and crying. I had climbed on a table, grabbed her car keys, unplugged a clock, and put the keys in the electrical socket. It was like a cartoon... the wall was black in a big circle and my arm was black. She cried because she thought my arm would disintegrate into ash. (It didn't). She had put babyproof covers on all the outlets, and since I couldn't pull them off I just unplugged something.

    She also frequently found me on top of/ hanging from things that she thought were too tall for me to climb (trees, bookshelves, kitchen cabinets). I was a little monkey daredevil.
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  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Inkdancer said:
    No siblings, so I was the troublemaker.

    I was not quite 2. My mom was running a bath for me, and I toddled into the next room. Suddenly, she hears a pop and crying. I had climbed on a table, grabbed her car keys, unplugged a clock, and put the keys in the electrical socket. It was like a cartoon... the wall was black in a big circle and my arm was black. She cried because she thought my arm would disintegrate into ash. (It didn't). She had put babyproof covers on all the outlets, and since I couldn't pull them off I just unplugged something.

    She also frequently found me on top of/ hanging from things that she thought were too tall for me to climb (trees, bookshelves, kitchen cabinets). I was a little monkey daredevil.

    Aaaah that is scary!!

    I was like your last part. I had the dresser with the big hutch of shelves that sat on top of it. Totally tried to climb it and the entire thing fell on me and the neighbor girl. Luckily it was filled with like stffed animals that somewhat broke it's fall against us and the floor.

                                                                     

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  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    @sarabridesoon HILARIOUS!

                                                                     

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    sarawifenow
  • My little brother loved to eat weird things. At about the age of two, we caught him eating nail polish. And not just a little taste. His whole mouth was coated in nail polish. Luckily he was alright, but my mom freaked out.

    He also knew the word "assassinate," and he knew how to use it correctly at the age of 3. We have never been able to figure out where he learned it.
  • Oldest DD was a freaking Houdini.  When she was 2 we lived in a "shotgun house" - huge livingroom followed by long dining room, followed by huge kitchen.  I went into the kitchen for maybe 2 minutes and she made it out the locked front door, down the steps, and 3 houses down.  I looked like mother of the year.
    jenna8984
  • jenna8984 said:
    Inkdancer said:
    No siblings, so I was the troublemaker.

    I was not quite 2. My mom was running a bath for me, and I toddled into the next room. Suddenly, she hears a pop and crying. I had climbed on a table, grabbed her car keys, unplugged a clock, and put the keys in the electrical socket. It was like a cartoon... the wall was black in a big circle and my arm was black. She cried because she thought my arm would disintegrate into ash. (It didn't). She had put babyproof covers on all the outlets, and since I couldn't pull them off I just unplugged something.

    She also frequently found me on top of/ hanging from things that she thought were too tall for me to climb (trees, bookshelves, kitchen cabinets). I was a little monkey daredevil.

    Aaaah that is scary!!

    I was like your last part. I had the dresser with the big hutch of shelves that sat on top of it. Totally tried to climb it and the entire thing fell on me and the neighbor girl. Luckily it was filled with like stffed animals that somewhat broke it's fall against us and the floor.

    I would climb my dresser too, and sit in the top drawer. Apparently one time when I did it, I got stuck so I started yelling "there's trouble in here!" My mom thought it was hilarious that I said that instead of "help!" They ended up putting yard sticks vertically through the handles so I couldn't open the drawers.
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    birdybride2014jenna8984
  • This is my new favourite thread, by the way. I love reading about the dumb shit kids do.

    @Sarabridesoon, I think you win so far
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    sarawifenowjenna8984
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited October 2014
    When  my brothers were just over 2 my dad was being transferred to VA from DE (I was 7, sister 6 and we were in school).   The house was on the market.    There were not scheduled showing one day so my mom decided to strip all the beds and let them air out (it was a nice spring day, all the windows open).     

    Of course she got call they wanted to do a showing.   She left the boys in the family room and she rushed upstairs to make the beds.   She finished and went looking for the boys to take them for a walk.    She found them in the FIREPLACE!!!  Covered head-to-toe in suet.   She yelled and they went to get up and then she remember they had light carpet.   

      I don't remember how she got them out without making a mess.  All I remember was when they showed up for the showing 2 little boys  out on the driveway were covered in black suet and all you could see where their eyes. 


    ETA - brothers are twins.  Together they were terrors. 






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    steph861MairePoppyjenna8984banana468
  • I was an only child as well so not too many sibling stories.

    One of mine that pops into my head is I woke up really early and I decided to feed the fish. My parents had a beautiful angel fish tank, it was huge. I dumped the entire container of fish food (Those XL bottle ones) into the tank... I went to my parents room to tell them "ITS SNOWING IN  THE FISH TANK!!!"

    Unfortunately all the fish died and we didn't have a fish tank after that. 
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  • arrippa said:

    I was 4 1/2 when my bro was born, so I was always deeply jealous of him. Once, when he was a baby, my mom had him in a Johnny jump up in a doorway.

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    I use to swing/push him against the wall when her back was turned. It was a little like tether ball with my brother as the ball.



    *************SAF**********************


    That is deliciously evil.  Muahahaha...





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  • I have two boys. The little darlings are now 22 and 19. They weren't always little darlings though:

    When oldest was about 3, he had the cutest little chunky thighs. I used to sing this made-up song about thunder thighs to him. Well, that backfired on me the day we were in the grocery store and a large woman came in behind us and he started singing, "THUNDER-THIGHS!!!" Of course, this comes out clear as day. No other words are decipherable, but that was.

    When the youngest was 2 weeks old, I was changing him and the oldest had to have his nose in there to see what I was doing. I lifted baby's legs to place the new diaper under his butt when he let loose with a nice wet stream of breastmilk poop. His aim was impeccable. It landed right in the middle of oldests forehead and right down the center of his face! 

    Years later, the boys are at the local park playing and the oldest is standing up on top of the jungle gym and proceeds to pee on his younger brother's head below him. On purpose.

    I have more, so many more.

    *msstaticfancypants*
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    steph861beetheryjenna8984lurkergirl
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    More than once, my mom saw my little bro when he was 2 or 3 chewing, fished in his mouth, and found a soggy well-chewed fly. As in those black ones on windows. She swears she found them all before he swallowed any, and we're always like "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"

    As a toddler, I would pull all the books off the book shelves, crawl up and sit on them. Daily and my mom always had to clean them up.

    MairePoppy
  • I would climb my dresser too, and sit in the top drawer. Apparently one time when I did it, I got stuck so I started yelling "there's trouble in here!" My mom thought it was hilarious that I said that instead of "help!" They ended up putting yard sticks vertically through the handles so I couldn't open the drawers.
    OMG I can't stop laughing at this! I'm picturing a kid calming yelling "there's trouble in here!" hahahaha
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    steph861
  • falsarafalsara Northside of Chicago member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    My sister and I are less than two years apart and we used to fight all the time.  When i was 5 and she was 3 my mom walked into our shared bedroom to find us throwing books and toys at eachother while we were rolling around on the floor.

    When I was 11 we used to climb the 200 year old Magnolia tree that was in the side yard of our church in NC.  One day my 9 year old sister pushed me out of this tree. My fall was stopped by a person sized tree branch hitting my midsection.  No ER trip, my mom who used to be an EMT in the Navy, determined that I had two broken ribs and several other ribs that were bruised.  She just wrapped them with and Ace bandage and tried to get my to take it easy for a week or two.  

                                               

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  • I was eating olives with the pits in them I think I was 3 or 4 I decided to stick an olive pit up my nose I remember my mom frantically calling my grandma (her mom to try to get it out).

    I was the oldest, we ( my sister & I) used to tell our brother (who was 10 years younger than me) we found him in a garbage can but he was so cute we all decided to keep him and he couldn't talk to anyone about it otherwise we might have to put him back.  He would get all upset. 

    When we first moved into our new house in NJ I used to tell my sister if someone flushed the toilet in the downstairs bathroom while she was using the sink in our upstairs bathroom the stuff from the toilet would come out of the sink.  So regularly before bed when she was brushing her teeth I would run downstairs and flush the downstairs toilet.  Of course I would tell her if she said anything we would have to move far away and mom and dad would be upset.

    I wasn't the best older sister.

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