Wedding Etiquette Forum

Who will walk my mom down the aisle???

Hi all! I'm sure this has been asked before, plenty of times, but I'm in a bit of a unique situation trying to figure out who should walk my mother down the aisle. My dad will be walking me, so he won't be out there. Also, my parents are divorced and I don't really feel that would be appropriate. My fiancé's father is disabled and in a wheelchair, so he will likely already be in his seat. My mother does have a brother, but he lives across the country and we aren't sure he'll be attending. Who can I have do this? She isn't close with any of the groomsmen or best man, and I don't have any brothers or grandparents. I cannot have her walking along and am really having trouble coming up with a solution. Can the groom walk her AND his mother down the aisle?  Is there a fun or unique solution to this I'm not seeing? Any and all suggestions appreciated!

-Kat

Re: Who will walk my mom down the aisle???

  • Have you asked your mother her preference? I would start there.
  • Both my grandmother and my mom had nobody to walk with so I asked them if they wanted to walk with someone and who. They both picked my brother (who wasn't a groomsman). He walked my grandmother than went back around and walked my mom. My fiancés grandfather chose to walk by himself. Ask your mom if she would like to walk alone or who she would like to walk with. If you are close with her you could think about having both parents walk you? My sister did that and our parents are divorced as well.
  • When is your wedding? It's possible by the time it rolls around she will have a significant other and he could walk her down the aisle.

    Your mom's brother sounds like a great option assuming he's coming.

    I don't see why an usher or groomsman couldn't do it.

    And I personally think the idea of the groom walking both of the mothers is sweet.

    There's no hard rule on this. I agree with PPs. Find out what she'd be comfortable with. Odds are whatever she is cool with is just fine.
  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    edited October 2014
    My Fi is walking both his grandma and his mom down the aisle. For a moment he wondered if he would look like a valet. Then he decided he didn't care and wanted to escort both ladies to their seats. (Also, he will totally not look like a valet. Haha.)
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    my brother walked our mom and his MIL down the aisle.   There was a collective. ahhh when they walked down.  It was really sweet.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    MairePoppyBelichick
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I love the idea of your fi walking both moms together.
                       
    MobKazmollyringwald15
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2014
    My son, acting as a groomsman in my daughter's wedding, walked me up the aisle. At my son's wedding, they really didn't have a bridal party with the exception of a MOH and BM. My husband, myself, and the MOB all walked in alone. The only one escorted was the bride, who was with her father. There really is no right or wrong. I agree with others, however, that FI walking both moms together sounds touching.
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    The wedding coordinator said to a groomsman, "Hey you. Walk her down the aisle. Then come back."
    MobKazKaurisMairePoppy[Deleted User]
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    At my sister's wedding, one of my sister's friends walked our mother down the aisle (we have no brothers, and this guy wanted to do it). My dad escorted my sister.

    At my wedding both husband and myself were escorted by both of our parents, as that is the Jewish tradition. 
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I don't know why more brides don't have both their parents walk them down the aisle. I guess people are stuck on tradition.
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    SachaBeeMairePoppy
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    My H seated my mom right before the BP began coming down the aisle.

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I don't know why more brides don't have both their parents walk them down the aisle. I guess people are stuck on tradition.
    Actually it's probably because the parents are divorced or were never together in the first place.  Sadly, too many divorced or former couples can't or aren't willing to put their personal feelings about their relationship and breakup on the shelf long enough to walk their daughter down the aisle.

    And in some cases, one parent is not available-they are deceased, not well enough to attend, or otherwise can't or don't choose to make it to the wedding.
  • At our wedding, my MIL was walked by a grandson.  We asked her who she wanted to talk her and she requested him.

    My dad escorted my mom, got her seated (she's wheelchair bound) then came back to escort me.  Since that isn't feasible in your case, ask your mom if she has a preference.  Does she have any brothers?   Nephews?  Even one of the groomsmen or an usher (if you have an usher) can do it. 


  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Jen4948 said:
    I don't know why more brides don't have both their parents walk them down the aisle. I guess people are stuck on tradition.
    Actually it's probably because the parents are divorced or were never together in the first place.  Sadly, too many divorced or former couples can't or aren't willing to put their personal feelings about their relationship and breakup on the shelf long enough to walk their daughter down the aisle.

    And in some cases, one parent is not available-they are deceased, not well enough to attend, or otherwise can't or don't choose to make it to the wedding.
    This makes sense, but I don't think this is the reason for most people.

    There are plenty of brides whose parents are still together who only have their dad walk them down the aisle. It's perfectly fine, it's the bride's decision, but how many times to we say to posters "why don't you have your mom walk you down the aisle." 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Jen4948 said:
    I don't know why more brides don't have both their parents walk them down the aisle. I guess people are stuck on tradition.
    Actually it's probably because the parents are divorced or were never together in the first place.  Sadly, too many divorced or former couples can't or aren't willing to put their personal feelings about their relationship and breakup on the shelf long enough to walk their daughter down the aisle.

    And in some cases, one parent is not available-they are deceased, not well enough to attend, or otherwise can't or don't choose to make it to the wedding.
    This makes sense, but I don't think this is the reason for most people.

    There are plenty of brides whose parents are still together who only have their dad walk them down the aisle. It's perfectly fine, it's the bride's decision, but how many times to we say to posters "why don't you have your mom walk you down the aisle." 
    Well, remember, lots and lots of brides don't come here to ask us for advice. ;)

    But also, being walked down the aisle by one's father is such a deeply ingrained tradition that it just doesn't occur to people that their mothers can do it too.
    huskypuppy14
  • classyduckclassyduck member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    There are good suggestions here (but I haven't read all of them, apologies), but this is what we are doing:

    His parents are divorced, his father remarried, and his mother also, but widowed within the last year. My mother is widowed within the last year also, from my father, and her only husband, of 43 years.

    We have no ushers. So, my groom will usher his stepmother, my mother, and his mother, down the aisle. Since his stepmother is married to his father, his father will follow behind them, as is proper for the escort when his escourtee is being ushered.

    Hope this helps!
  • I'm with the PPs who suggest asking your mother who she wants to escort her.

    My parents are divorced, it was not amicable, and it wasn't too long before our wedding. I walked myself down the aisle. My dad chose not to attend. I asked my mom who she wanted escort her / if she wanted to be escorted by anyone. She decided on her younger brother as her escort. Fine with me. Two months before the wedding, she started dating someone. She asked if it would be okay to A) add him to the guest list and B) have him escort her. Fine with me, so that's what we did. What mattered to me was not who escorted her but that she was comfortable with whoever it would be.
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    [Deleted User]
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