Something Borrowed, Something New, or a Mixture of Both?

Knottie1452799602

I inherited my Great Grandma's ring and I'm torn trying to decide what I want to do with it. It is about 80 years old, so there's a lot of history and meaning to it. My Great Grandma gave my Mother the ring, to give to me when I was old enough. She passed away 10 years ago and my Mother wore the ring until she passed away from cancer last year. I was very close to both my Great Grandma and my Mother, so it has a lot of meaning to me. I have considered my options and in my opinion I can either: a) take out the diamond and put it in a new setting OR b) leave the ring as is and buy a completely new ring. I absolutely love the look of the ring as is, but the issue is that it is not my own. I have my mind set on a yellow gold ring and my boyfriend would be okay with me using the diamond as long as he could pick out the setting. Wearing the ring as is for my engagement ring is not an option for me because I know that my boyfriend would not feel connected to my ring, since it is not even from his family. If we were to buy a new ring our budget would be about $5000, so it wouldn't even be comparable to my Great Grandma's ring. I also have the issue of choosing a setting that matches the diamond if I decide to take it out, since it is a very antique cut and would not match modern settings.

ilovecake84

It's a gorgeous ring. Why not wear it on your right hand and your fiancé can buy you an engagement ring?

I also wouldn't want the diamond reset. The setting it has is wonderful

lookame3639

It's always a shame when antique jewlery is damaged in some way (diamonds taken out - metal melted down ect). I like i love cake idea and wear it on your right hand.

theartistformerlyknownas

jwaka24 said:

I inherited my Great Grandma's ring and I'm torn trying to decide what I want to do with it. It is about 80 years old, so there's a lot of history and meaning to it. My Great Grandma gave my Mother the ring, to give to me when I was old enough. She passed away 10 years ago and my Mother wore the ring until she passed away from cancer last year. I was very close to both my Great Grandma and my Mother, so it has a lot of meaning to me. I have considered my options and in my opinion I can either: a) take out the diamond and put it in a new setting, b) leave the ring as is and put it in storage, c) buy a completely new ring of lesser value. I absolutely love the look of the ring as is, but the issue is that it is not my own. I have my mind set on a yellow gold ring and my boyfriend would be okay with me using the diamond as long as he could pick out the setting. Wearing the ring as is for my engagement ring is not an option for me because I know that my boyfriend would not feel connected to my ring, since it is not even from his family. If we were to buy a new ring our budget would be about $5000, so it wouldn't even be comparable to my Great Grandma's ring. I also have the issue of choosing a setting that matches the diamond if I decide to take it out, since it is a very antique cut and would not match modern settings.

The bolded really rubbed me the wrong way. You should put this thought completely out of your head. Your engagement ring should be special to you because of the sentimental connection of it being the ring your BF ultimately proposes with (which I see that you've mentioned, so I know that you at least partially see that) NOT because of the size of the diamond. So please, don't let the size or monetary value of your great-grandmother's ring play any part in your decision. You'll only come off as petty, which I don't truly think that you are at heart. 

OK, that being said... I would wear the ring on your right hand. This ring would have been your heirloom to wear regardless of whether you ever even got married. Treasure it as such. Your BF will find a lovely ring to propose to you with when the time is right, and you'll treasure that ring for that reason. 

oxfordcomma14

I'd wear it on my right hand and buy a different engagement ring.

jynxiie

I agree with PPs. Wear it on your right hand. Also a 5000 budget will get you a really lovely ring.

Knottie1452799602

@lolo883 ‌ The reason why I brought up the monetary value is because I know that any other ring I get within our budget will not be as beautiful in terms of physical appearance. I am not petty and I wasn't trying to come off that way, but I cannot believe that any girl would only care about the sentimental value of the ring. If that was the case, then we wouldn't spend all that money just to put sparkly diamonds on our rings. I don't think it is petty to take into consideration the appearance of the ring, especially since I also made it clear that I do care about the sentimental value and the importance of having the ring mean something for both my boyfriend and I.

cowgirl8238

jwaka24 said:

@lolo883 ‌ The reason why I brought up the monetary value is because I know that any other ring I get within our budget will not be as beautiful in terms of physical appearance. I am not petty and I wasn't trying to come off that way, but I cannot believe that any girl would only care about the sentimental value of the ring. If that was the case, then we wouldn't spend all that money just to put sparkly diamonds on our rings. I don't think it is petty to take into consideration the appearance of the ring, especially since I also made it clear that I do care about the sentimental value and the importance of having the ring mean something for both my boyfriend and I.

When my now H proposed, he picked out the ring by himseld spending what he could afford.  My ring isn't all that expensive, and the diamonds aren't the purest of white but I don't even care a little.  I love the ring because he picked it out for me.  I would have taken any kind of ring honeslty...I just wanted to spend my life with him, even if it was from a cracker jack box!!

For me the sentimental value will always  outweight how much my ring costs.  But thats just my opinion!

theartistformerlyknownas

jwaka24 said:

@lolo883 ‌ The reason why I brought up the monetary value is because I know that any other ring I get within our budget will not be as beautiful in terms of physical appearance. I am not petty and I wasn't trying to come off that way, but I cannot believe that any girl would only care about the sentimental value of the ring. If that was the case, then we wouldn't spend all that money just to put sparkly diamonds on our rings. I don't think it is petty to take into consideration the appearance of the ring, especially since I also made it clear that I do care about the sentimental value and the importance of having the ring mean something for both my boyfriend and I.

Sure, people hope for something that's pretty because we're going to wear it forever. But to be worried that something isn't AS pretty as another ring is, in fact, quite a petty way of thinking. You're never going to have the prettiest ring in existence but you CAN get a gorgeous ring for well under $5k. There are plenty of rings bigger or prettier than mine but all the factors added together - it's a design I like, plus knowing he chose it specifically with my taste in mind, and the sentimentality of it being the ring he proposed with - make it my favorite ring in the world.

plainjane0415

jwaka24 said:

@lolo883 ‌ The reason why I brought up the monetary value is because I know that any other ring I get within our budget will not be as beautiful in terms of physical appearance. I am not petty and I wasn't trying to come off that way, but I cannot believe that any girl would only care about the sentimental value of the ring. If that was the case, then we wouldn't spend all that money just to put sparkly diamonds on our rings. I don't think it is petty to take into consideration the appearance of the ring, especially since I also made it clear that I do care about the sentimental value and the importance of having the ring mean something for both my boyfriend and I.

Who says you have to spend a lot of money on sparkly diamonds on your ring?  An engagement ring can be just as beautiful without a big fancy diamond.  And yes people do really care about the sentimental value of the ring.  I'll be interested to see if your thoughts change on this subject after your boyfriend proposes. 

My ring, is beautiful, but the appearance of it means nothing to me compared to the meaning behind it.

jenna8984

plainjane0415 said:

jwaka24 said:

@lolo883 ‌ The reason why I brought up the monetary value is because I know that any other ring I get within our budget will not be as beautiful in terms of physical appearance. I am not petty and I wasn't trying to come off that way, but I cannot believe that any girl would only care about the sentimental value of the ring. If that was the case, then we wouldn't spend all that money just to put sparkly diamonds on our rings. I don't think it is petty to take into consideration the appearance of the ring, especially since I also made it clear that I do care about the sentimental value and the importance of having the ring mean something for both my boyfriend and I.

Who says you have to spend a lot of money on sparkly diamonds on your ring?  An engagement ring can be just as beautiful without a big fancy diamond.  And yes people do really care about the sentimental value of the ring.  I'll be interested to see if your thoughts change on this subject after your boyfriend proposes. 

My ring, is beautiful, but the appearance of it means nothing to me compared to the meaning behind it.

Same here. I know lots of people that have a pearl engagement ring or some other stone. I am actually not into sparkly expensive bling and I had showed my (now) husband rings online that were just gold for a few hundred dollars. He decided that he wanted me to have a diamond so he got me one in his budget but I would have absolutely been just as happy if he had gotten the plain gold ones.

bridesontherun

jwaka24 said:

@lolo883 ‌ The reason why I brought up the monetary value is because I know that any other ring I get within our budget will not be as beautiful in terms of physical appearance. I am not petty and I wasn't trying to come off that way, but I cannot believe that any girl would only care about the sentimental value of the ring. If that was the case, then we wouldn't spend all that money just to put sparkly diamonds on our rings. I don't think it is petty to take into consideration the appearance of the ring, especially since I also made it clear that I do care about the sentimental value and the importance of having the ring mean something for both my boyfriend and I.

Believe it. I was given my Grandmother's engagement ring and I cherish the sentimental value. When I was younger I put it on my ring finger to keep the creeps away. It was too large, so I added a simple band after it that fit, and it keeps it on my finger. I've thought about resetting it, and I've thought about resizing it for my finger, but something about altering it would feel to me a bit of loss of the sense of my grandmother I feel while wearing this ring. So it sits, on my left ring finger, and keeps my Grandmother connected to my heart.

When my Fiancé and I were discussing ring desires, She didn't want a ring, and I didn't want to remove my Grandmother's ring from it's place (been there a decade now), so we are not doing a ring exchange.
So you see, there are people that only care about the sentimental value.