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Honeymoon fund/ gift

laurenlozzylaurenlozzy member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We are travelling to Las Vegas from the uk and having a party to celebrate on our return back home. Our close family are traveling to Las Vegas with us so this won't be much alone time for us newly weds. Instead of a gift list for our guests back in the uk we would like money towards a honeymoon together, do you think this is rude or asking for too much as we are travelling for the wedding? My mum thinks that we cannot ask for this. Thanks for your thoughts x
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Re: Honeymoon fund/ gift

  • esstee33esstee33 member
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    Yes, it's rude to ask for money. Just don't make a gift list at all, and most people will get the hint that you'd rather have cash. 
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  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
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    laurenlozzy said:
    We are travelling to Las Vegas from the uk and having a party to celebrate on our return back home. Our close family are traveling to Las Vegas with us so this won't be much alone time for us newly weds. Instead of a gift list for our guests back in the uk we would like money towards a honeymoon together, do you think this is rude or asking for too much as we are travelling for the wedding? My mum thinks that we cannot ask for this. Thanks for your thoughts x

    Your Mum is wise.  Asking for cash is always rude.  If people want to get you a gift, they will, and everyone knows cash is a good gift.  The last wedding I attended asked for cash for their HM on the invites.  We gave a boxed gift specifically cos they asked for cash.  Having a DW in your case makes no difference.  I got married in Hawaii and spent the next 5 days after the wedding with family and guests who were still there.  We still had a great vacation.  

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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    team mum






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    Yes.

    It's rude to ask for cash, and that's what "honeyfunds" are: cash requests.

    Also, the honeyfunds take a cut of whatever is contributed.  The couple does not get the whole thing.  People who give gifts don't feel like giving to the "administrators," so to speak, of the funds but directly to the couple.

    And finally, many people feel that the couple should pay for their own honeymoon because it's a very intimate, private thing that's just for the two of them.
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2014
    Mum FTW! Go mum! Asking for cash or money for the honeymoon is rude.

    We did not register - anywhere. Everyone knows cash is always appropriate, appreciated and often preferred - literally everyone on earth knows this. =o)
    Some people will want to get you a physical gift - these are not the people who use HM registries. The people who use HM registries are people who would give you a check, but instead think that you will receive the FULL amount they gift you. You you will ACTUALLY receive that massage, not a credit on your bill and if you decide you can get the massage or take the excursion.

    But I have good news :)
    For our wedding the gifts broke down like this: 75% cash or check, 20% gift cards and 5% physical gifts.
    If you want money or don't need anything don't register. This is the best way to politely suggest folks give you money. I'm telling you from experience ;-)
    A HM is not polite, sorry. There is nothing wrong with saying, when asked where you are registered, we are saving up for the honeymoon (or house or big screen TV or whatever it is you'd like to purchase). GL!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • SomethingBeautiful08SomethingBeautiful08 member
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    If someone asks you, or your FH specifically where you are registered or what you guys want, you can respond back that you are saving for a vacation.  You can also instruct your mom or whomever else may be asked to say the same thing.
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  • ilovecake84ilovecake84 member
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    Listen to your mom.

    We registered for variety of different things at different price points. Out of 105 guests, we received less than 10 gifts, the rest was cash.

    There is no need to tell people you want cash. Plus, it's rude
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  • MNVegasMNVegas member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited October 2014
    OP, I responded to your post on the gifts/registry board. Agree with pp it is rude to ask for cash.

    BTW, please XP in title when posting the same question on multiple boards.
    Mary Click here for my bio! image
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    I know some customs are different in other countries.  In the USA, it is very rude to ask for money for any reason.  People do it, but it is still rude.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    Your mom is correct. It's rude to ask for money. Just don't register. If people say "where are you registered" or "we want to buy you something for your wedding, what do you want?" You can just say "oh we aren't registered anywhere but we are saving up for XYZ.." They'll get it.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
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    Your Mum is a smart lady.
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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
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    CMGragain said:
    I know some customs are different in other countries.  In the USA, it is very rude to ask for money for any reason.  People do it, but it is still rude.
    Rude to ask for money in the UK, too. In fact, it is rude to even talk about money in general. Very gauche!

    Just don't do a gift list. People will get the hint.
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  • raissyraisraissyrais member
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    LondonLisa said:
    CMGragain said:
    I know some customs are different in other countries.  In the USA, it is very rude to ask for money for any reason.  People do it, but it is still rude.
    Rude to ask for money in the UK, too. In fact, it is rude to even talk about money in general. Very gauche!

    Just don't do a gift list. People will get the hint.
    @laurenlozzy We live n the UK too and agree with LondonLisa that it's rude to ask for money for anything. We are getting married in Mauritius and are not registered anywhere so we left it at that. No mention anything. People will know to give money on their own so listen to mum!
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
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    I responded to you on the Vegas board.
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
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    Definitely no need to ask for money as it is rude. DH and I did not register and didn't even mention money when people started asking us what we wanted/where we were registered. We didn't get a single physical gift, and everyone who gave us a gift did so via cash, check, or giftcard. People are smart, they know money is a great gift!
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • laurenlozzylaurenlozzy member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Thanks for all your advice everyone, mums are always right damn it!! Haha I love this I'm sure she'd be up for that!! :) xx
    AddieCake said:
    You mum is right, and I would like to enjoy cake and margaritas with her.

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  • SachaBeeSachaBee member
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    Just wanted to reiterate that while 'registering' for cash is rude, there's nothing wrong with gently spreading via word-of-mouth that it's what you want. If someone asks, be honest! 
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