Kind of lost this morning

6fsn

DH's grandfather passed last night.  DH went to work and I can't tell how he's feeling. Grandpa is donating his body to a medical school so they aren't doing a funeral.  I guess they want to wait until after the body is back from cremation to do a celebration of life.  I don't really understand this waiting months thing, but it's not up to me. I'm guessing the body won't be back until spring though.  And it feels vulgar to say "the body" even though it is:/

I'm also feeling very selfish because I'm at the end of my rope.  I'm tired.  I had a bit of a break yesterday going to the fair with my mom, but even that takes some work and planning. I don't want to put anything on DH because I know he's tired too.  2 are gone today and 6let has his 3 day week so I'm going to try to push through.  If all else fails I'm going to take a couple to the sitter down the street.

0Face

*hugs* 6.  It's so hard.  I just went through this last week, prompting many tussles, verbal, non-verbal and a big blow out.  I'll be thinking of you and your family.

Heffalump

I'm sorry, 6.  That's hard all around.  I know it's hard to pull off, but try to make sure you carve out some downtime for yourself when you can. 

FWIW, SIL/sFIL scheduled MIL's memorial service over a month after she'd passed, and we didn't understand it, either.  And yes, even fun things take work:  DH and I just had this conversation over the weekend, and I definitely know what you mean.

Hugs, Irish coffee, and hang in there.

tawillers

I'm sorry, 6.

DixieNormous330

I'm so sorry, 6. None of this makes for an easy situation. My suggestion is open the lines of communication and makes sure your H knows that you're there for him. Ask him every now and then how he's doing.

MNNEBride

I'm sorry, 6.  Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

NOLABridesmaid

I'm sorry, 6.

VarunaTT

I'm sorry for your family's loss, 6.  

pegasuskat

Sorry for your loss, it sounds like you need a mental health day.  Take the day off and let them go to the sitter for the day.

6fsn

I keep repeating this isn't about me, but I'm tired.

0Face

I think it's hardest when the guys are all "must be strong for family" and as wives (in my own recent experience) we have to push for talking.  And also, they're our family too (the deceased members---sounds callous), you know?  And sometimes that gets lost.

GBCK

I"m sorry.

And sometimes, when it's not about you, you still run out of yourself left to give to be supportive.

(also, I've been a reluctant part of the 'lets spread cremains and not do our grieving until months later BS.  do not reccomend.  But there's nothing to do about it.

6fsn

DH definitely is the "must be strong" type.  I know he and his grandfather were very close.  They used to spend a lot of time trying new foods and gardening and doing science stuff (he was a science teacher). 

 

They were talking about waiting a few months for a memorial.  It's next weekend. 

mrsconn23

6, I am so sorry.  I hope you got some time to decompress.  Sending T+P's to you and your family. 

MesmrEwe

Hugs to you!!!  It's hard when you're the "in-law" because, well, it just is.  We've had a few of those situations with DH's side and what happened to my neighbors from growing up where I've had to take a deep breath, say my prayers about it, and accept what I can't change... 

Take care of you!!!!  Maybe you and YH need a night to unwind together, anyone on your side who could do an overnight???

6fsn

And now Max is sick.

I think I figured out part of my issue. I've been home with just the kids.  DH was able to see his grandfather and be there with his grandma, mom, and siblings.  I've been home with the kids trying to keep it together.

 

Plus I got my period.  I just need to push through next week.  My folks are out of town for 10 days.  The day DH was going to take the kids is the day before the memorial and won't happen now.  Since there's no school the sitter is also booked.

I just need to push through 10 days.

MesmrEwe

That'll drive any Mom up a wall!  Please take care of you!!!

*Barbie*

6, sorry for your family's loss. 

Hopefully you can catch a break soon - and if not, naptime = time for shots? 

hmonkey

demerol, take 6 away!

i'm sorry for your loss. may your friend vodka and lime fluff be there for you.

6fsn

These little effers don't nap anymore!  Max isn't even TWO.

MNNEBride

Cough syrup = nap time for everyone  (I'm kinda kidding)....

*Barbie*

shots as a family activity - they get milk, you get whiskey?