Mom has me in tears!

decembergrl2014

I just got off the phone with my mom, and I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. We were on the phone talking about Saturday (lunch, dress fitting and shopping). FI has 3 kids (2 girls) and she's telling me about flower girl dresses she spotted, what they look like, etc. Thats fine. Then we start talking about the RD and she thinks it should be, and I was telling her about some things that FI still has to do, like talk to his BM who lives OOT, pick out a tux, etc. FI is well aware of what he needs to do and is going to get it done. My mother starts to yell, " WELL MAYBE HES TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT HE DOESNT WANT TO GET MARRIED!!!". I told her that I was sorry I called, and hung up. I've been in tears since. I told FI what my mother said, and he said that it's not true, he loves me very much and DOES want to marry me. I fully believe him. I just don't know why she would say this. I know she likes him. I just don't know what got into her. I feel like going for my fitting by myself on Saturday!

theartistformerlyknownas

What the hell? I'm so sorry. What a horrible thing to say. :-\

Kauris

Oh honey, I'm so sorry she has upset you. Hugs! 

No matter what you decide to do, I am sure you will be beautiful in all the dresses! I hope tomorrow is better for you and I hope you have a wonderful time on Saturday! 

holyguacamole79

Wow. I mean, you still have 2 months until your wedding ... It's not like it's this weekend and he still has to do these things! I hope you and your mom can reconcile. In the meantime, tears and wine are appropriate. ((Hugs))

steph861

Jesus fucking christ. Was she ever like this before the wedding? That is seriously fucked up. You shouldn't have to deal with that shit.

hellosweetie1015

What. Why. Why do so many people have such shitty mommies.

Seriously, y'all. I will share mine. She is great. 

hikebikebemerry

Big internet hugs!

Moms can be assholes.  Clearly she needs to calm the fuck down.

ohannabelle

What what what? Mom needs to calm down and behave.

bethsmiles

What the hell possessed your mother to make her say that?! I'm so sorry. Try not to take it to heart and brush it off as a crazy moment where you mother temporarily lost her mind.

falsara

Awww. HUGS and WINE. I'll share my mommy too. She's awesome and will give you a Margarita to drink while watching Gilmore Girls.

falsara

Awww. HUGS and WINE. I'll share my mommy too. She's awesome and will give you a Margarita to drink while watching Gilmore Girls.

blabla89

That's awful. I'm so sorry she said that to you. Weddings bring out the crazy in everyone. Let yourself cry for a little bit, have some chocolate, it'll be okay. Hugs!

lc07

Who says that??? I'm glad you ended the call with your mom. I'm so sorry. That's such a random, hurtful thing to say.

Will Animals being jerks videos cheer you up? CLICKY

MairePoppy

Wow! That was mean.

raissyrais

That wasn't very nice! Sorry about that, I think mummy might be jealous!

KatieinBkln

Ugh, what a shitty thing to say to someone, let alone your daughter. I'm sorry that happened to you. Hopefully she'll come to her senses and realize that not every fleeting thought in her brain needs to come out her mouth. And apologize.

loro929

raissyrais said:

That wasn't very nice! Sorry about that, I think mummy might be jealous!

I do too. How is your relationship with her generally (i.e. outside of the wedding bubble)?

sarawifenow

I'm so sorry! *hugs*

HaileyDancingbear

I'm glad you hung up on her.  Hopefully your response made her re-think what she said to you, because it was fucking awful and she needs to know that she hurt you, and that you won't tolerate it.  

Parents suck sometimes.  I don't know why.  Since moving out I've been walking away from conversations with my dad and flat out calling him a douche lately.  Because he is.  Such a fucking douche.  He tried to yell at me for putting my phone down on his car because putting stuff on his car may scratch it.  I told him he was being ridiculous, and then that he was being an ass for seriously yelling at me for it.  Then the other night at dinner, there was confusion about how many potatoes we ordered, I explained like 20 times, nobody was listening, keep in mind he could not HEAR what I was saying.  He heard my voice, and told me to butt out.  Just because I was talking a lot he assumed I was on a rampage or some shit.  Guess who didn't get spoken to for a while?  He's always been like that, always very dismissive of everything I have to say, often calling every opinion I have a "Tirade" or "Rampage" which I find to be insanely fucking condescending.  I blame a good deal of my social anxiety on him.  I put up with it when he had the whole "You live under MY roof" to hold over my head, but now he has NOTHING to hold over my head, NO control over anything in my life.  So I don't anymore.  I call it out the second it happens and give zero shits about how angry or offended he'll be.  

Sorry, respect is a two way thing.  Parents are people.  When they're being horrible, you tell them that.  I guess calling my dad a douche is a bit extreme (but again, I'll respect him when I can finish a thought around him without being talked down to or dismissed) and obviously you probably don't want to curse at your own parents, but you should absolutely call them out on how they treat you.  What your mom said was out of line and offensive, and hurt you.  Next time you talk to her you need to tell her that.  Because it's not ok for her to talk to you like that.  If she gets pissy, oh fucking well.  Parents are people, not gods.  They are just as accountable for their behavior as we are.  

KatieinBkln

HaileyDancingbear said:

I'm glad you hung up on her.  Hopefully your response made her re-think what she said to you, because it was fucking awful and she needs to know that she hurt you, and that you won't tolerate it.  

Parents suck sometimes.  I don't know why.  Since moving out I've been walking away from conversations with my dad and flat out calling him a douche lately.  Because he is.  Such a fucking douche.  He tried to yell at me for putting my phone down on his car because putting stuff on his car may scratch it.  I told him he was being ridiculous, and then that he was being an ass for seriously yelling at me for it.  Then the other night at dinner, there was confusion about how many potatoes we ordered, I explained like 20 times, nobody was listening, keep in mind he could not HEAR what I was saying.  He heard my voice, and told me to butt out.  Just because I was talking a lot he assumed I was on a rampage or some shit.  Guess who didn't get spoken to for a while?  He's always been like that, always very dismissive of everything I have to say, often calling every opinion I have a "Tirade" or "Rampage" which I find to be insanely fucking condescending.  I blame a good deal of my social anxiety on him.  I put up with it when he had the whole "You live under MY roof" to hold over my head, but now he has NOTHING to hold over my head, NO control over anything in my life.  So I don't anymore.  I call it out the second it happens and give zero shits about how angry or offended he'll be.  

Sorry, respect is a two way thing.  Parents are people.  When they're being horrible, you tell them that.  I guess calling my dad a douche is a bit extreme (but again, I'll respect him when I can finish a thought around him without being talked down to or dismissed) and obviously you probably don't want to curse at your own parents, but you should absolutely call them out on how they treat you.  What your mom said was out of line and offensive, and hurt you.  Next time you talk to her you need to tell her that.  Because it's not ok for her to talk to you like that.  If she gets pissy, oh fucking well.  Parents are people, not gods.  They are just as accountable for their behavior as we are.  

Damn. I would be going out to fewer dinners with someone who spoke to me that way. Good for you for calling him out, though.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

I am so sorry you had to endure that shit.  Sounds like mommy is projecting!  

smalfrie19

HaileyDancingbear said:

I'm glad you hung up on her.  Hopefully your response made her re-think what she said to you, because it was fucking awful and she needs to know that she hurt you, and that you won't tolerate it.  

Parents suck sometimes.  I don't know why.  Since moving out I've been walking away from conversations with my dad and flat out calling him a douche lately.  Because he is.  Such a fucking douche.  He tried to yell at me for putting my phone down on his car because putting stuff on his car may scratch it.  I told him he was being ridiculous, and then that he was being an ass for seriously yelling at me for it.  Then the other night at dinner, there was confusion about how many potatoes we ordered, I explained like 20 times, nobody was listening, keep in mind he could not HEAR what I was saying.  He heard my voice, and told me to butt out.  Just because I was talking a lot he assumed I was on a rampage or some shit.  Guess who didn't get spoken to for a while?  He's always been like that, always very dismissive of everything I have to say, often calling every opinion I have a "Tirade" or "Rampage" which I find to be insanely fucking condescending.  I blame a good deal of my social anxiety on him.  I put up with it when he had the whole "You live under MY roof" to hold over my head, but now he has NOTHING to hold over my head, NO control over anything in my life.  So I don't anymore.  I call it out the second it happens and give zero shits about how angry or offended he'll be.  

Sorry, respect is a two way thing.  Parents are people.  When they're being horrible, you tell them that.  I guess calling my dad a douche is a bit extreme (but again, I'll respect him when I can finish a thought around him without being talked down to or dismissed) and obviously you probably don't want to curse at your own parents, but you should absolutely call them out on how they treat you.  What your mom said was out of line and offensive, and hurt you.  Next time you talk to her you need to tell her that.  Because it's not ok for her to talk to you like that.  If she gets pissy, oh fucking well.  Parents are people, not gods.  They are just as accountable for their behavior as we are.  

ITA with this. My mom and step dad got divorced this year and my mom has made some questionable choices and I fucking called her on it and I am just so done with her shit. She is so disrespectful sometimes and I am an adult now and if she can't act like a responsible adult, I won't treat her like one. 

Jen4948

I'm very sorry your mother said something so inappropriate to you.

I'm worried mine would say something like that to me.  She's always projecting unfounded fears and hostilities and making cynical predictions.  I hate it.