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The Mid-Planning Lull

Did anybody else hit a bit of a slump/lull in the middle of their wedding planning?  We're having a bit of a longer engagement (about 17 months) and we've got just over 9 months to go.  We've got most of our major vendors booked, but I feel like it's too soon to be planning some of the smaller details.  We're also still in the midst of high wedding season in New England (at least for a few more weeks), so I feel like it might make more sense to wait a bit to sit back down with our planner and finish picking vendors when they're not quite so busy and can give us more attention.  I feel like the initial big rush is over and done, but the more detailed planning hasn't started yet.  Anything in particular that I should be doing to try and get ahead at this point?  What do you wish you had started on earlier?  We have a vendor/caterer/DJ/photographer, have done our tasting and engagement pictures, and I have my dress.  No florist or officiant yet but we're working on the officiant and are waiting on florist recommendations from our planner.  I'm a bit of a mess in terms of settling on a style/colors/etc. for the big day, and I'm so lost at this point that I probably just need to sit down with my planner, narrow my focus, and pick some things, but that probably won't happen until November, so DIY and any crafty style-based projects will probably have to wait until then.

Re: The Mid-Planning Lull

  • I find money, venue  or work/school schedules often are the reasons or long engagements.   The actually planning can be done in a LOT less time.

    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • We had an 8 month engagement, and there was a bit of a lull in the middle. Just enjoy it.
  • Been there, done that. Enjoy the lull, cause the last stretch can be crazy.

  • I think I might have mentioned it in a post before, but we have a long engagement too (almost 28 months) and now we're only 3 months away! At first, I thought I had so much time and that it would never come but we decided to have the long engagement because as lyndausvi said, we wanted to save up to be able to afford the wedding we wanted. Today we are sure we'll never go in debt because of that. I figured I would do one wedding thing a month, big or small. I was sure about the dress I wanted so I ordered mine 8 months after we got engaged but that might not work for everyone obviously.

    I do believe that the planning in itself can easily be done in a few months or more, specially if you're getting married in the same place you're living in. We are having a destination wedding in the middle of nowhere so we had to plan early and accordingly.

    I guess it's normal to hit a lull here and there but there will be so many things to do at some point you will wish you had the extra time again. All in all just enjoy your planning and carry out the tasks that can be put aside so you can attack the more challenging stuff when time-crunch comes around. Good luck :)
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  • If you're going to DIY anything, start now. Craft projects always take 3x as long as you think they will and no one enjoys making 200 escort cards the week prior or whatever.

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  • DH and I got engaged in June 2013 and got married last month so your engagement was only a couple months shorter. We had all the big stuff done by December- finalizing guest list, sending out Save the Dates as well as booking venue, officiant, photographer, videographer, florist, etc.

    After that point, we didn't really do much until March or April when we began making specific decisions (like flowers in my bouquet) and writing our ceremony. I drove myself a little nuts shortly after sending out the StD's because I felt like 'I'm getting married and I'm not doing anything, something must be wrong'! But once I settled down I had time to relax and actually enjoy being engaged. It was pretty awesome.

  • That lull though! I hated wedding planning half way through because I felt like there was nothing to do. I was bored and just SO over it all.


    Now I wish I had that lull! Just enjoy it and have some wedding-planning free time.

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  • beetherybeethery member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2014
    I've got everything vendor-related locked down except the caterer (who is just about locked down), and a rental company.

    This is what's left, but none of it is a GET THIS DONE RIGHT FUCKING NOW kind of thing:
    • Try out flowers. Have a good idea of what I want to do, but I need to get the actual flowers and see if I will be able to DIY this without it looking like a blindfolded infant made the attempt.
    • Lose more weight so I can try on dresses (going to start really looking in february/march.
    • Lay out a parking map for the area/design the website
    • Dye my hair/extensions
    • Buy LED candles.
    • Figure out what I might need to decorate outside of the hall.
    • A million other tiny things that I am currently blanking on.


    I'm the fuck

  • Our engagement was 16 months, now we're about 6 months and a week from the date.  I've been pretty blase about most of it, but whenever I do get an urge to do something, it MUST BE RIGHT NOW or I get anxious.  We taste food tomorrow, so maybe we'll get catering and cake locked down this weekend.  Other than that, booze and flowers are our last big decisions to make. 


    I also have to figure out if I want a veil - sigh.


  • We got engaged last November and are getting married in a few weeks. By March, we had a DJ, photographer, venue, caterer, bartender, bridesmaids dresses, a photobooth, lighting, and I had a dress. So from March through August when we got our invites, there wasn't really much to do. I put off a bunch of things that weren't that important to me until about the last month or so (flowers, centerpieces, makeup, tables/chairs, linens, little decorations etc.). 

    If I could do it over,  would have tried to take care of some of those naggy little items during our lull time. I haven't been completely overwhelmed, but I would have been less stressed in this last month or so if I wasn't having to do a lot of little things.

  • Thanks ladies.  Sounds like it's totally typical to hit a bit of a lull around this time--I'll see what I can get ahead of and then enjoy the downtime while I can.  :-)  Just wanted to make sure I wasn't totally falling down on the planning job.  Beethery, I need to work on the weight thing too.  I've been hitting the gym but my diet has been terrible lately.  I've bought my dress but it can definitely be taken in, and it's strapless, so I want the kickass biceps and collarbones that I had when I was doing triathlons and not the flabby arms I have now.  Want an accountability partner? 
  • The lull made me fall out of planning mode and now that's biting me in the ass. We got engaged last November and aren't getting married till next May. The venue we chose books up nearly 2 years in advance so we had to jump on that, which caused me to jump on all the other major stuff right away too (caterer, band, DJ, photographer, etc). Now I'm supposed to be doing STDs and stuff, but I'm totally procrastinating. My to-do list keeps growing, and I keep ignoring it. Haha oh well. 
  • I'm in a lull now too. I am having a 2 year engagement almost exactly, and I am about 14 months out still. All of the big stuff is done, and I think I need to wait until at least February to start planning smaller things. I've been shopping for my accessories though, and bridesmaid gifts. Something to keep the fire burning!
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