Wedding Guest Attire

Amanda1443994

If this isn't the right board please feel free to move me !

I live in CT and am attending a wedding in FL in a few weeks. I am also invited to the rehearsal dinner and had bought a LBD for it. I was going to pair it with a pearl necklace or statement necklace.  I just received the actual invitation and it is going to be a luau themed rehearsal dinner and the attire stated "Resort Casual Wear". What is resort casual? Is a black dress okay or should I go shopping again?

Thanks for any advice!

southernbelle0915

Amanda1443994 said:

If this isn't the right board please feel free to move me !

I live in CT and am attending a wedding in FL in a few weeks. I am also invited to the rehearsal dinner and had bought a LBD for it. I was going to pair it with a pearl necklace or statement necklace.  I just received the actual invitation and it is going to be a luau themed rehearsal dinner and the attire stated "Resort Casual Wear". What is resort casual? Is a black dress okay or should I go shopping again?

Thanks for any advice!

Ugh. Telling people what to wear is not ok, so you can ignore this inappropriate request. There is no such thing as "Resort Casual".

These were two of the first things that came up on google:

I would have your date wear that. And you could wear this:

No seriously though, your LBD is fine.

CMGragain

Resort casual?  I think it means the clothes you would wear on a cruise ship to the dining room on most nights.  Pants and top, sundress, casual dress for women, khakis and shirt with collar for men.  I think a black cocktail dress would be too formal.
It is rude to tell your guests what to wear!

SachaBee

I mean, really, most people consider an LBD to be basically good for any occasion. I'd go with that, but more casual accessories (sandals rather than pumps, headband rather than updo). 

esstee33

Their request was totally rude and inappropriate, but you're the one who has to decide your comfort level. If you want to rock the LBD & pearls, go for it! If you feel like you'd be uncomfortably overdressed, go with something more like a sundress. 

Lurkers, let this be a lesson! Dictating your guests' attire is not just rude, but also pretty confusing when you make up bullshit dress codes. Just say no. 

bellefemme12

Hmm...I don't think the couple meant to be rude.  They probably wrote resort casual to let people know that they didn't have to get all dressed up for the rehearsal dinner...

AddieCake

I would probably not wear the LBD.

STARMOON44

I think the little black dress will be out of place, although you can certainly wear it if you want. A nice maxi dress or sun dress would be fun.

canadianhearts

STARMOON44 said:

I think the little black dress will be out of place, although you can certainly wear it if you want. A nice maxi dress or sun dress would be fun.

This is also something I think of when I imagine a luau party at a resort, though my honest option is that you can still wear your little black dress if you want since it's a very neutral look. If you want to go more "resort" (new fashion style for 2015) with it you can maybe switch out the pearl necklace for something a little more casual or colorful or funky.

theartistformerlyknownas

bellefemme12 said:

Hmm...I don't think the couple meant to be rude.  They probably wrote resort casual to let people know that they didn't have to get all dressed up for the rehearsal dinner...

Unfortunately whether or not they intended to be rude doesn't matter. Their request was still rude even if they're not rude people.

I would keep the LBD with a chunky statement necklace and sandals.

bellefemme12

Since when did letting people know about the dress code become rude?

esstee33

bellefemme12 said:

Since when did letting people know about the dress code become rude?

It's rude to tell adults how to dress themselves, as if they're too stupid to figure it out. 

ETA: It's ALSO rude to treat your guests as though they are just props for your pictures. Nobody's pictures are going to be ruined if someone wears jeans or whatever it is you (general you) are trying to avoid by instituting a dress code. 

bellefemme12

esstee33 said:

bellefemme12 said:

Since when did letting people know about the dress code become rude?

It's rude to tell adults how to dress themselves, as if they're too stupid to figure it out. 

ETA: It's ALSO rude to treat your guests as though they are just props for your pictures. Nobody's pictures are going to be ruined if someone wears jeans or whatever it is you (general you) are trying to avoid by instituting a dress code. 

This must be knot.com etiquette, b/c every invite I've received to a wedding and to large parties or galas, a dress code was either written on the invite or on the website.  In cases where a dress code was not written, the host eventually sent an email out stating the dress code, b/c so many people asked what they should wear.

Anyways, back to the original post, I would probably wear a colorful dress that went along with the luau theme.  Have fun OP!

Liatris2010

bellefemme12 said:

esstee33 said:

bellefemme12 said:

Since when did letting people know about the dress code become rude?

It's rude to tell adults how to dress themselves, as if they're too stupid to figure it out. 

ETA: It's ALSO rude to treat your guests as though they are just props for your pictures. Nobody's pictures are going to be ruined if someone wears jeans or whatever it is you (general you) are trying to avoid by instituting a dress code. 

This must be knot.com etiquette, b/c every invite I've received to a wedding and to large parties or galas, a dress code was either written on the invite or on the website.  In cases where a dress code was not written, the host eventually sent an email out stating the dress code, b/c so many people asked what they should wear.

Anyways, back to the original post, I would probably wear a colorful dress that went along with the luau theme.  Have fun OP!

No. The only time attire should be mentioned on an invitation is if the affair is black or white tie or if the venue has a dress code (like a country club). Semi-formal, resort whatever are not "dress codes", they are attire suggestions and it is not polite to tel people what to wear. It assumes they are too stupid to dress themselves for the occasion. Just because something is common in your circle does not make it polite.

[Deleted User]

Based on the theme of the reheresal dinner I would save the LBD for the wedding & wear a sundress for the rehersal.

chibiyui

bellefemme12 said:

esstee33 said:

bellefemme12 said:

Since when did letting people know about the dress code become rude?

It's rude to tell adults how to dress themselves, as if they're too stupid to figure it out. 

ETA: It's ALSO rude to treat your guests as though they are just props for your pictures. Nobody's pictures are going to be ruined if someone wears jeans or whatever it is you (general you) are trying to avoid by instituting a dress code. 

This must be knot.com etiquette, b/c every invite I've received to a wedding and to large parties or galas, a dress code was either written on the invite or on the website.  In cases where a dress code was not written, the host eventually sent an email out stating the dress code, b/c so many people asked what they should wear.

Anyways, back to the original post, I would probably wear a colorful dress that went along with the luau theme.  Have fun OP!

If you are hosting an event at a venue with a dress code, (I.e. many country clubs require men wear sports jackets, no jeans, etc.) it is polite to let your guests know about the dress code.

If you are hosting an event that doesn't have a required dress code, ( i.e. you ask for people to dress black tie for a non-black tie wedding) You are being rude. You do not just get to dictate other peoples attire. 

MobKaz

bellefemme12 said:

esstee33 said:

bellefemme12 said:

Since when did letting people know about the dress code become rude?

It's rude to tell adults how to dress themselves, as if they're too stupid to figure it out. 

ETA: It's ALSO rude to treat your guests as though they are just props for your pictures. Nobody's pictures are going to be ruined if someone wears jeans or whatever it is you (general you) are trying to avoid by instituting a dress code. 

This must be knot.com etiquette, b/c every invite I've received to a wedding and to large parties or galas, a dress code was either written on the invite or on the website.  In cases where a dress code was not written, the host eventually sent an email out stating the dress code, b/c so many people asked what they should wear.

Anyways, back to the original post, I would probably wear a colorful dress that went along with the luau theme.  Have fun OP!

Nope.  It's common sense.  I have attended scores of weddings and large parties in my lifetime.  I have yet required someone to tell me how to dress.  I dressed one way for my daughter's church wedding, and differently for my son's outdoor courtyard wedding.  No one had to instruct me, nor did we need to instruct our guests.  It is absolutely wrong to dictate attire, because more often than not, it is for the wrong reason.

A friend of my daughter plans on writing "Black Tie Optional" on her invitations because (in her words) FI's family is from Arkansas and they won't know how to dress for a Chicago wedding.  I told her that "Black Tie Optional" does not exist.  I also said that using the word "optional" means just that.....a choice; not obligatory.  I also informed her that what  "dressed to the nines" is for one group may differ from the other, and no amount of dictating will change that.  I also think it is offensive and rude that her taste in attire looks down on the attire of others. 

Amanda1443994

Thanks everyone for the responses! I think I'm going to go with a sundress and wear the black dress to the wedding.