Cancer really needs to get that damn memo...UPDATE in comments

Chipmunk415

Fuck cancer. Fuck it in all its forms. Fuck cancer and the pain it causes for the patient and their families.

Got the call today. Dad has a sigmoid carcinoma. It's pretty big on the colonoscopy. They took 12 biopsies from the area, plus removed some polyps. 

We might have caught it early- Dad noticed he wasn't feeling that well, and had blood in stools- early early warning signs, but with his prior history in his GI system (1/3rd of bowel removed when he was my age due to war injuries), and his medical background, he had them do a full work up on him.

The flip side of this is that when they were doing the workup before the colonoscopy, they saw 2 dark spots on his liver. Because his blood tests did not otherwise indicate cancer, we thought the liver spots were at most due to sarcoidosis (agent orange exposure will cause that).

Won't know more until Tuesday/Wednesday at earliest.

Boss Lady is super awesome. When she found out, she shut the office door and gave me a big hug. Told me whatever time I need to take to be there for the folks was fine. I won't bother them this weekend (they were also in the midst of bathroom remodels, and Dad doesn't want visitors until we know more), but they will be doing surgery to remove the cancer within the next few weeks. I'll be down there at that time.

Fuck cancer.

Photos below are: Dad and my nieces (his granddaughters), my Dad and I, and my Mom and Dad at my wedding this past March.

sarahufl

ugh, I'm sorry. I, unfortunately, know what it is like to get that phone call. Nothing prepares you for it.

T&Ps for you!

Jells2dot0

****HUGS****

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this terrible news. Praying that it was an early catch. My lymphoma mass was the size of a grapefruit in my chest (with no symptoms from the actual cancer) and it was Stage II. 

I know it's going to be a long weekend, but try to stay positive!!!! I know it's hard that dad doesn't want company, but I know the feeling and just recommend being there if and when he needs you to be! Sounds like you already know that, though

penguin44

Oh man! Cancer sucks! 

I'll be thinking about you, your dad, and your family. I know how hard it can be to see your dad sick.

theartistformerlyknownas

Gahdammit cancer! I'm so sorry to hear that, Chipmunk. I'm really glad that your dad seems to be on top of things as far as his health is concerned, as I know many dads aren't. He and the rest of your family will be in my prayers for health and peace of mind. ((HUGS))

My friend's stepmom just found out her breast cancer was back for a third time, and had to have a double mastectomy this morning. Cancer can kiss my chubby white ass.

holyguacamole79

Hugs to you and your dad, chipmunk. I bet this is hard to wait to know more. I pray they caught it early and he responds well to treatment.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

I am so sorry to hear this.  Fuck cancer.  Seriously.

pinkcow13

I'm so so sorry to hear this, chipmunk. I'm sending you so many hugs.

hellosweetie1015

I'm so sorry. Thoughts/prayers/woowoo to you and your family.

eta posted early.

falsara

Sorry Chipmunk! Lots OF HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You and your family are in my prayers.

FUCK CANCER

Chipmunk415

Thanks ladies...

I've a 4 essay final exam this weekend to keep me mostly busy, along with reviewing DH's paper/re-writing portion that don't flow and are awkward. Once we've got those two things done, I intend to have a nice biiig glass of wine.

We're hoping we managed to catch this health crisis early. Dad is a 71 yr old disabled combat vet, with insulin dependent diabetes and in December, he's 6 yrs post op a quadruple bypass/CABG surgery.  He also previously had a false positive for a lymphoma around his heart 6 years ago. 

He's a tough SOB, but Mom said he looked like the doctor hit him with a brick when they gave him the news. Mom feels like she's been kicked in the gut. We figured that between the two of them, mom had the better chance of developing cancer (both her parents died of it, while on Dad's side, it's always alzheimers and heart attacks or strokes). Now we've got this.

DH and I are still on radio silence with his folks. Today also marked 6 months since BIL's death. I'm feeling like I'm a walking cluster of fucks and bad shit to those around me.

I know right now I'm numb, and that this will hit me in a few days and I will break and cry. For now I'm focusing my overcompensating energy levels into cranking out the final exam of mine. I'm also planning what to say to Dad pre surgery- several years ago, I drafted a very comprehensive living will, dnr, and healthcare power of attorney. I gave him one for his use. To date, he has not signed it. The man also doesn't have a will.  I'm going to have to juggle being the concerned daughter and being the lawyer concerned for his legal well being.

Thanks again ladies. It will help me to get through this weekend knowing I have your support. It means a lot to me.

Inkdancer

Sending thoughts, prayers, and love your way.

Sugargirl1019

/hug I'm so sorry to hear this. All the best news to your dad in these upcoming weeks

raissyrais

Darn fuck cancer....stay strong and hope everything will be okay!

Chipmunk415

I've an Update.  

Since my posting, Dad has had the CT scan, a rectal ultrasound, and my folks have met with both the surgeon and the oncologist. After close questioning, they are very pleased with the physicians that will be treating Dad.

Dad's cancer is early Stage 3, confirmed as having spread to some of the rectal fat tissues. However, we still don't know for certain about the dark liver spots- Dad has kidney damage from age, diabetes, and hypertension, and the CT dye would have made it worse.

He will be getting a port installed the 2nd week of November, and undergo simultaneous chemo and radiation in an effort to shrink the cancer, for 6 weeks. After 6 weeks recovery from that, they will do the surgery to remove the cancerous section of colon. 

After that, who knows. Dad's saying he'll do the initial treatment, but will reassess on whether he wants to do anything more after surgery.DH and I are going for a brief visit next weekend before our trip to CA. Dad is finally interested in having his affairs in order (he'd had a will prepared 15 years ago but never signed it), and he and I will be talking about wills, trusts, and POA, living wills, etc when I come down there. 

Mom's working to keep it together (all 3 of Dad's children and their spouses, DH and I included have been informed by her that without flu shots, we are not allowed to visit this winter when he's immuno suppressed) and intends to care for Dad throughout all of his treatment. She say's Dad's being more affectionate, less inclined to be crabby and mean, but that there's up and down days for both of them.

I've over 12 weeks of annual and sick leave left till next August, and am working extra now to make up for the time I'll be taking in November to go to CA (planned months ago). Boss is completely on board with me being out 2 weeks or more when Dad has surgery to help Mom.

I reiterate, Fuck Cancer. Thinking of those here who have fought, are fighting, or know someone fighting cancer. Let's kick it's ass.

Jells2dot0

Will be thinking of your dad! I know it's a very long road and I am glad you are able to be there to assist.

ohannabelle

Hang in there, Chipmunk. Hugs for you, and all good thoughts for your dad.

JCbride2015

I'll be thinking of you and your dad.  Sending lots of positive healing vibes for him.

kmmssg

Sending lots of hugs and prayers and positive thoughts your way.  Cancer just sucks.  I'm so sorry you guys are dealing with this.

Sugargirl1019

Lots of hugs and prayers to you guys. I'm so sorry you're facing this. Best of luck. Tell him to keep his spirits up

CMGragain

Early stage three is good!  Best wishes, thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

Chipmunk415

Went and saw Dad and Mom this weekend. Dad gets his port and meets with radiation oncologist tomorrow. Treatment starts next week.

Dad's color is good, but he's dropping weight. Part lack of appetite, part due to the cancer taking away calories. I made him his favorite chocolate chip cookies, which perked him up quite a bit, and I've promised to bring more in 3.5 weeks for Thanksgiving.

Dad and I went by the law library- most everything is in both my parents' names, so there won't be a probate, but there's some financial things he inherited that he wants to put in a trust. So, we got some books on trusts and avoiding probate. I also gently lectured him on getting the advanced directives I drafted 3 years ago for him signed and witnessed, along with a durable power of attorney for mom's use.

 Phrasing it as a "let's do a,b,and c so that when the inevitable happens, regardless of when it is, mom doesn't have to jump through hoops, make it easier on her" Amazingly, he listened rather than make his normal smart ass comments (he's where Evil Chipmunk's personality comes from).

Mom was very happy to have us there visiting, glad to have company that won't just sit and stare at Dad, and provide her with a bit of a break. Dad's got an upbeat attitude, but I know him too well. Part of it is active interest in beating the cancer. However, as a doctor he knows way too much about this (he's also got a friend who's brother and sister died of the same type of cancer), so part of this is him putting up a good face so that the rest of us don't worry. He kept telling me not to worry, and that he didn't want a death watch. I guess I'll focus my energy in worrying about Mom and how she's holding up.

We're going there for Turkey Day, and for Christmas. My brother will be down in December and again in early 2015- my sister will be bringing my nieces down the week prior to Christmas. Dad should be finishing up/starting to recover from chemo and radiation at that point, so hopefully a nice visit for Dad with his granddaughters.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers, ladies!

Jells2dot0

It sounds like he has an amazing attitude. It really does make a difference to put out positivity instead of negativity. Even if you think it's a "cover", keeping your mind in the right spot really helps. I know when I let my mind wander, I was a total mess and I felt much worse, too.

I hope to be getting the date for my port removal on Wednesday. Hopefully by early next year, you and your family will be planning for the same!!

Fingers crossed for successful treatment!

CMGragain

@Jells2dot0, I miss my port!  It was taken out five years ago, and now I wish I had it back!
Anyway, congratulations!  I hope you never need it again!

Jells2dot0

CMGragain said:

@Jells2dot0, I miss my port!  It was taken out five years ago, and now I wish I had it back!
Anyway, congratulations!  I hope you never need it again!

I will NOT miss mine. It threw off 3 huge blood clots into my right atrium and it hasn't been used since then. It needs to go. LOL

Chipmunk415

Jells- Dad intends to keep his port in. Says he wants it for the eventuality of IV morphine. (He also jokes about getting iv viagra, snerk)

 I insisted when that happens, I must be informed so I can bring the video camera. The last time Dad was on morphine (6 yrs ago for quadruple bypass), he was high as a kite and very entertaining. :-D

Jells2dot0

Chipmunk415 said:

Jells- Dad intends to keep his port in. Says he wants it for the eventuality of IV morphine. (He also jokes about getting iv viagra, snerk)

 I insisted when that happens, I must be informed so I can bring the video camera. The last time Dad was on morphine (6 yrs ago for quadruple bypass), he was high as a kite and very entertaining. :-D

I can't have morphine, but for my last treatment and when I ended up back in the hospital a few weeks ago, I had them give me IV dilaudid. I love that stuff. I had a picc line for that, as my port had complications (See above). I know a lot of people who kept their ports for various reasons, but I want mine gone so I can stop the blood thinner injections.