Office Space - rant

levioosa

hellosweetie1015 said:

levioosa said:

princessofgenovia said:

beethery said:

princessofgenovia said:

Someone just heated up fish in the microwave. I'm going to find this person and do bad things to them.

They had that in the warnable offense list at a corporation I worked for. It was in the new hire paperwork that I had to read through and sign.

Note to self: try to institute this policy. 

I found the fish warmer upper. She's "eating healthy" and fish is all she can eat because it's the only healthy food that exists apparently. No. It is not. Also you had red vines and gummy bears for breakfast. I'm not judging the breakfast because I'd totally do that, I'm just saying don't bullshit me about eating healthy if that's your fucking breakfast.

You would hate our office.  I work in a mainly Chinese office, and the things they do to our microwave linger all day.  I just make sure to make my food before they do, because if it's any time after 12:30 you can bet at least one or two people are making fish in the microwave and our microwave tends to transfer the smells to your food when you use it. My coworkers also crockpot stuff all day that smells super weird.  

On the bright side, I get to see a lot of fruit I never knew existed before.  They brought these in yesterday:

 

That is the prettiest fruit I have ever in my life seen. Also it looks like a Skoosh ball.

Not to ruin it for you....but in person they looked like red hairy balls.  I do like how Dragonfruit looks though.  

esstee33

I am absolutely going to slap one of my coworkers until my hand falls off. EVERY FUCKING DAY with the casually racist, homophobic comments. Yesterday AND today he made the exact same comment "Oh, she's black, right?" about a customer of ours. WHY THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER? I called him out on that shit today, and he proceeded to #sorrynotsorry me. 

princessofgenovia

esstee33 said:

I am absolutely going to slap one of my coworkers until my hand falls off. EVERY FUCKING DAY with the casually racist, homophobic comments. Yesterday AND today he made the exact same comment "Oh, she's black, right?" about a customer of ours. WHY THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER? I called him out on that shit today, and he proceeded to #sorrynotsorry me. 

I'm so happy that shit doesn't fly in our office. At all. I mean, if you're describing somone fine "Oh you know Jim, tall guy, black, wears polka dots everyday?" but if it's "Black guy Jim" or "Jim, he's black you know, really like hamburgers", wtf? Like it does not matter that Jim is black and also like hamburgers. One has nothing to do with the other. 

We had a sales guy once refer to a customer as a "total flamer" during a meeting. The owner cleared the room except for me and one other person (and that guy) and told him flat out that was homophobic language and wouldn't be tolerated. He did not last long.

smalfrie19

ShellD13 said:

At one of my former jobs, I was a manager and my boss had the office right next door to me.  He would routinely call to me from his office and or try to correct me WHILE I WAS ON THE PHONE or talking to an employee.  Problem was he hadn't done my job in nearly 15 years so his "corrections" were never really relevant.

Another workplace - it was open plan with cube walls that were about 6 ft tall but my boss always left his cell phone volume turned all the way up and his children had recorded his ringtone personally.  So at least 4 or 5 times a day you would hear "Pick up the phone Dad, Pick up the Phone Dad, Daaaad PICK UP YOUR PHONE!"

As for assistants, we had one that thought she didn't have any admin support responsibilities.  It was ridiculous.  Her desk was right outside of my office.  And I can't even tell you how many times I heard her telling VP's - "Oh I can't do that it really is easier if you do that yourself!" This included submitting their expense reports and booking their travel which was explicitly part of her job description!  She lasted in the role for 5 yes FIVE years.

Edited for words.

This makes me so ragey. I work my ass off and have been laid off twice this year because of things outside of my control and to see people not doing their job when I could do better kills me. 

slothiegal

a&b07 said:

larrygaga said:

Most of my nurses are idiots and think charting is NBD and optional. 

Wow really? that's insanely offensive. You clearly have no idea what a nurse actually does. the main reason charting is necessary is for legal reasons. it has very little bearing on the care  actually given to the patient. I'd rather spend my time doing actual patient care than spending time in front of a computer so you know what was done. 

I was going to ask what job you have where you feel so entitled to say something so offensive, but regardless it doesn't matter what job you have to say such a thing.

What??  Admittedly, I don't work in a healthcare setting, but Jesus H Christ, she wasn't calling ALL nurses idiots.  She was commenting on her own coworkers (which you have no info about and can't comment on).  

What if I said my IT coworkers were idiots because they didn't keep track of their cases?  I'm not besmirching every IT person, just the fucktards that I used to work with.

Holy overreaction, batman.

ETA: I see other PPs have covered this already (I posted before reading through the rest of the responses).  But seriously, there are stupid nurses, stupid teachers, stupid firefighters, stupid office admins, stupid judges, stupid auto mechanics.  THERE ARE STUPID PEOPLE EVERYWHERE IN EVERY PROFESSION.  No one was saying they ALL are hopeless.   

esstee33

princessofgenovia said:

esstee33 said:

I am absolutely going to slap one of my coworkers until my hand falls off. EVERY FUCKING DAY with the casually racist, homophobic comments. Yesterday AND today he made the exact same comment "Oh, she's black, right?" about a customer of ours. WHY THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER? I called him out on that shit today, and he proceeded to #sorrynotsorry me. 

I'm so happy that shit doesn't fly in our office. At all. I mean, if you're describing somone fine "Oh you know Jim, tall guy, black, wears polka dots everyday?" but if it's "Black guy Jim" or "Jim, he's black you know, really like hamburgers", wtf? Like it does not matter that Jim is black and also like hamburgers. One has nothing to do with the other. 

We had a sales guy once refer to a customer as a "total flamer" during a meeting. The owner cleared the room except for me and one other person (and that guy) and told him flat out that was homophobic language and wouldn't be tolerated. He did not last long.

I wish so much I worked for a company like this. Unfortunately, I work in a totally socially backwards place in which everyone is related to everyone else and bad behavior is just swept under the rug. This guy, in particular, is the son of a mega VIP in the company, the 2nd cousin of our boss, and has a child with the CEOs daughter. He's not going anywhere, and reporting him to HR would likely cost me my job. 

Thank god I'm moving to FI's city in a couple months and won't have to deal with his shit anymore.

mego2708

Our unit shares an open office with another unit. We're all in cubicles. There is a woman in the other unit who makes personal phone calls from her office phone all day.  She calls her urologist and describes the color of her urine a lot. She calls her nail salon and complains about her nails chipping and demands a free fill weekly. Lately, she's also been calling a pet store to look for cases of a certain kind of wet cat food. Last week she called her mom almost crying because her cat bit her in the middle of the night.

It used to be really annoying, then I got used to it, and now it is just amusing.

LondonLisa

slothiegal said:

a&b07 said:

larrygaga said:

Most of my nurses are idiots and think charting is NBD and optional. 

Wow really? that's insanely offensive. You clearly have no idea what a nurse actually does. the main reason charting is necessary is for legal reasons. it has very little bearing on the care  actually given to the patient. I'd rather spend my time doing actual patient care than spending time in front of a computer so you know what was done. 

I was going to ask what job you have where you feel so entitled to say something so offensive, but regardless it doesn't matter what job you have to say such a thing.

What??  Admittedly, I don't work in a healthcare setting, but Jesus H Christ, she wasn't calling ALL nurses idiots.  She was commenting on her own coworkers (which you have no info about and can't comment on).  

What if I said my IT coworkers were idiots because they didn't keep track of their cases?  I'm not besmirching every IT person, just the fucktards that I used to work with.

Holy overreaction, batman.

ETA: I see other PPs have covered this already (I posted before reading through the rest of the responses).  But seriously, there are stupid nurses, stupid teachers, stupid firefighters, stupid office admins, stupid judges, stupid auto mechanics.  THERE ARE STUPID PEOPLE EVERYWHERE IN EVERY PROFESSION.  No one was saying they ALL are hopeless.   

Ditto this! With that much reading comprehension fail and over reaction ("Larry's nurses who larry works with on a daily basis" vs "the entire nursing industry") I think you are highlighting her exact point on how imperative it is to READ and then WRITE accurately, especially in the healthcare field. 

novella1186

Guys. The weird creepy older lady in my office told my coworker and I that the pipes in her house are narrow so she "uses an old kitchen" to chop up poo before she flushes the toilet. Her whole family chops up their poo. I am fucking horrified. And traumatized. Oh. My. God. If you could see/hear how creepy she is, it makes it even worse! *shudder. 

southernbelle0915

novella1186 said:

Guys. The weird creepy older lady in my office told my coworker and I that the pipes in her house are narrow so she "uses an old kitchen" to chop up poo before she flushes the toilet. Her whole family chops up their poo. I am fucking horrified. And traumatized. Oh. My. God. If you could see/hear how creepy she is, it makes it even worse! *shudder. 

Dude. I'm on lunch right now. Thanks for helping contribute to my weight loss goals!

That's really gross. Hopefully she's just saying this because she doesn't want anyone at the office to engage her ever again. 

levioosa

novella1186 said:

Guys. The weird creepy older lady in my office told my coworker and I that the pipes in her house are narrow so she "uses an old kitchen" to chop up poo before she flushes the toilet. Her whole family chops up their poo. I am fucking horrified. And traumatized. Oh. My. God. If you could see/hear how creepy she is, it makes it even worse! *shudder. 

ohannabelle

novella1186 said:

Guys. The weird creepy older lady in my office told my coworker and I that the pipes in her house are narrow so she "uses an old kitchen" to chop up poo before she flushes the toilet. Her whole family chops up their poo. I am fucking horrified. And traumatized. Oh. My. God. If you could see/hear how creepy she is, it makes it even worse! *shudder. 

What the everloving fuck???????? I'm traumatized for you. Holy shit. That is...there are no words. My God. 

People okay to talk about your poop with:

Your doctor. 

Your plumber. (limited information only, such as why you need to have your pipes replaced)

People not okay to talk about your poop with:

Everybody else in the world.

novella1186

This raises too many questions that I do not even want to think about.... Where does she keep this knife? How often does it get sterilized? What does she tell guests? Does she tell them to let her know if they poo so she can come in and chop it up? Ugh. I don't want to think about it but  I can't stop! This is completely horrifying! 

abbyj700

beethery said:

princessofgenovia said:

Someone just heated up fish in the microwave. I'm going to find this person and do bad things to them.

They had that in the warnable offense list at a corporation I worked for. It was in the new hire paperwork that I had to read through and sign.

Wow...really?

What's on said list?

I had a friend on my FB bitching about heating up Indian food in the office the other day and someone else said they have a sign in their office about what you can't heat up. Can you really control what people eat? Can you really pick a whole nationality of food and say no? Or that the body builder in my office (my last job) couldn't heat up fish and steamed broccoli 3 times a day? It just really borders on something kinda militant crazy to me. What if they told you your leftover lasagna or lean cuisine meals were off the table? Or that you couldn't bring fast food back because the grease smell was offensive? 

ohannabelle

We obviously both suffer from writer's brain, and it can be a horrible thing. I thought all these same things. How does this work? Where could this lead? 

This is just something people don't think about when they say or post TMI. It's now stuck in your head forever. And every time you look at this woman, you'll think, bitch, you chop poop. You are Mrs. Poopchopper, and you live in a Poopchopping house with other Poopchoppers. 

I feel the same when people say or post TMI sexual information. So frikking gross. So, you like it in your eye while your DH screams "wink, bitch," but nobody else should ever have to think about that or picture that, and every time I look at that person I have to think about it. Oh, look, it's Winkbitch girl! Aaaaack. Frikking boundaries, people. Please. 

climbingsingle

novella1186 said:

Guys. The weird creepy older lady in my office told my coworker and I that the pipes in her house are narrow so she "uses an old kitchen" to chop up poo before she flushes the toilet. Her whole family chops up their poo. I am fucking horrified. And traumatized. Oh. My. God. If you could see/hear how creepy she is, it makes it even worse! *shudder. 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I just died. 

beethery

abbyj700 said:

beethery said:

princessofgenovia said:

Someone just heated up fish in the microwave. I'm going to find this person and do bad things to them.

They had that in the warnable offense list at a corporation I worked for. It was in the new hire paperwork that I had to read through and sign.

Wow...really?

What's on said list?

I had a friend on my FB bitching about heating up Indian food in the office the other day and someone else said they have a sign in their office about what you can't heat up. Can you really control what people eat? Can you really pick a whole nationality of food and say no? Or that the body builder in my office (my last job) couldn't heat up fish and steamed broccoli 3 times a day? It just really borders on something kinda militant crazy to me. What if they told you your leftover lasagna or lean cuisine meals were off the table? Or that you couldn't bring fast food back because the grease smell was offensive? 

I don't remember what was on the list anymore, I had that job in 2008. I think it was because microwaved fish smell can often permeate the entire area and just waft stank through the air. Some places don't allow you to microwave popcorn because burnt popcorn smell is fucking horrifying and too many people burned it.

southernbelle0915

ohannabelle said:

We obviously both suffer from writer's brain, and it can be a horrible thing. I thought all these same things. How does this work? Where could this lead? 

This is just something people don't think about when they say or post TMI. It's now stuck in your head forever. And every time you look at this woman, you'll think, bitch, you chop poop. You are Mrs. Poopchopper, and you live in a Poopchopping house with other Poopchoppers. 

I feel the same when people say or post TMI sexual information. So frikking gross. So, you like it in your eye while your DH screams "wink, bitch," but nobody else should ever have to think about that or picture that, and every time I look at that person I have to think about it. Oh, look, it's Winkbitch girl! Aaaaack. Frikking boundaries, people. Please. 

HAHAHAH omg, I am crying.

littlemushroom

A microwave at work caught on fire due to people not paying attention when they were making popcorn. Twice. In ONE WEEK. Good grief the entire HUGE building (I was in a call center then) smelled horribly for days of burned popcorn. That is why we can't have nice things at my company. And just one of the reasons I am so happy I am not in the call center anymore.