Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Re: something new

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    navonaz said:
    I know the majority of brides probably do the something old, something new etc tradition, but I've never wanted to. My family doesn't have a great record with marriages and they have a lot of tough stories from their lives to put it mildly, so I've just always felt like I wanted to start a new line when I marry. Like a whole fresh start with me and my future husband and family, but now I'm getting married and my family is pressuring me to carry family items down the aisle with me. I feel guilty because I know they don't understand why I don't want to and I don't want to hurt anyones feelings, especially my mother, but I just don't want to start my life/marriage with the things from their pasts. I love them but I'm not trying to carry the past with me down the aisle! Do any of you have any advice on this? How can I handle this without coming off as rude or hurtful? Thanks!
    "That is such a kind and generous offer - thank you!  I have opted not to observe this tradition, but I appreciate your thinking of me!"
  • Well, I guess I just have a very pushy family haha. I've been asked several times since I got engaged and each time have said I wasn't going to do that tradition but it seems that they really want me to because it continues to be brought up! I suppose I'll just continue saying no, I don't want to do that...
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    Yeah, you may just need to say no and keep saying no. And then bean dip them. Going into too much detail as to why you don't want to observe it may cause hurt feelings. Like saying, "I don't want your something old because it certainly didn't help your marriage survive", probably won't go over too well.  But, I think it should be fine to tell them you just want a fresh start with your own new traditions.

    My family wasn't pushy on it, and I really didn't even think much of it.  My e-ring belonged to my husbands grandmother, so I had that for old.  Lots of new stuff.  Our wedding color was blue, so I had blue shoes, blue flowers, blue jewelry, and blue sash on my dress. I didn't have anything borrowed. And no penny/six pence in the shoe.  Anything I had that met the tradition would have been included anyway.

    image 

  • Thanks for the advice! I'm going to hope it doesn't come up again but stand firm on not doing it, politely lol, if it does :)
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I don't get the DD?
    image



    Anniversary
    holyguacamole79
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Well, I guess I just have a very pushy family haha. I've been asked several times since I got engaged and each time have said I wasn't going to do that tradition but it seems that they really want me to because it continues to be brought up! I suppose I'll just continue saying no, I don't want to do that...

    Thanks for the advice! I'm going to hope it doesn't come up again but stand firm on not doing it, politely lol, if it does :)
    QFP.
    image
    southernbelle0915
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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