"I do" vs. repeat vs. recite/read.

ElcaB

We're trying to decide how to do the vow portion of the ceremony. I think I'm leaning toward reciting them/reading them, but am still undecided. What did you end up doing? Any advice?

littlemushroom

We repeated the vows after the officiant. It gave me a chance to pull myself together a bit with the breaks between phrases, rather than awkward pauses while I was reading them. It was perfect and I wouldn't change it.

emmaaa

FI and I will be repeating after the pastor for the ceremony. I like the idea of actually saying the vows rather than just "I will" or "I do". I also don't think I could handle reading them without getting too nervous.

theartistformerlyknownas

We did both. The "I do" part was considered our declaration of intent, then we repeated our actual promises to each other. We also repeated back the "with this ring" part. If you want to see our actual text I can find it for you!

Edited to fix autocorrect mistake.

climbingsingle

We did both. 

jenna8984

I copied some of @lolo883 's script. So we had the section where the officiant said "do you, jenna, prmoise to blah blah" and we said I do. But then as we were placing the rings on each other it was a repeat after me with "take this ring/ lawfully wedding husband/ sickness/ health/ yada yada". I thought it was nice to do both.

cupcait927

We wrote our own vows and read them to each other. Our officiant asked if we wanted to repeat our vows after her but decided against that. I very much liked reading my own vows to H and having him hear me say the words first, rather than repeating them. He went first so I was crying by the time I got to mine but after the first line or so I was able to pull it together and finish without choking up. I may have done things differently had we had more people there but with only 50 guests (mostly family and friends), it seemed more intimate to read them to each other.

melbenso

We wrote our own vows, so we read them.  (If you do this, make sure your minister has copies of your vows at least the day before the wedding.)  We also did a repeat "I, Melbenso, take you to be my husband..." type thing with a specific vow we wrote during our ring exchange.

lyndausvi

We did both "i do" and repeat.    

Neither one of us are the write our own vows type people.  Plus I'm not great at public speaking. Way too nervous.   I messed a "we do".  No way I would have been able to recite hand written vows.

Liatris2010

We did both. I think it depends on your state. Where we got married there were things that the state required we say. The officiant read those and then we said "I do" to acknowledge that we understand we were entering a legally binding contract (we actually got married at our wedding, imagine that!). Then we did our vows by repeating after the officiant. I asked him to give big sections at once since I find the repeating tedious if it is too slow.

falsara

We have to do the I DO part, it's our declaration. We are planning on writing our own vows, but both me and FI are Creative Writing majors it wouldn't feel right for us to do repeat.

ETF punctuation

OliveOilsMom

We initially wanted to just do "I do", which our original priest was going to allow.  But he went out on extended medical leave and the priest who ended up celebrating doesn't allow the just "I do."  So we did repeat our vows.  And I totally don't regret it!  I loved being able to say the words to H and to hear the words from him back!

sarawifenow

We are repeating our vows. We nixed the idea of writing our own because we both know we will be too nervous the day of.

Bubblegum5586

For the "I do" part (declaration of intent) we repeated after our officiate, but our Vows were read strait from our Ketubah.

kaitlynmichelle

We repeated after our officiant. We wrote the vows and ring exchange lines, but they were the same for both of us. I thought about writing individual vows and reading them, but that would have stressed out H so I didn't mention it. He hates being the center of attention, and with just our immediate family there, he was in a good comfort zone with repeating the vows.

emmyg65

We recited our vows. No officiant, so that was our only option.

JennyColada

We said "I do". This was one of the few things that I actually wanted. It's just how I always pictured it.

mschristie123

We had a full catholic mass so we did the whole repeat after the priest thing. What made it extra special for us was that during our pre-marital counseling, our counselor told us to go home and reflect on each line of the vows. We went home and sat together and each wrote out the personal meaning/intent of each phrase. It was such a wonderful exercise and helped me feel so much more connected to the traditional vows that I've heard a million times. Instead of just hearing DH say, "in sickness and in health blah blah blah" I remembered that night on our couch and him telling me, "I promise to not only take care of you physically but to take care of your emotions and your well being. Amazing

Inkdancer

We wrote and recited our own vows. Then, we repeated back the "with this ring I pledge my love to you" part. It was a really good balance for us.

princessleia22

melbenso said:

We wrote our own vows, so we read them.  (If you do this, make sure your minister has copies of your vows at least the day before the wedding.)  We also did a repeat "I, Melbenso, take you to be my husband..." type thing with a specific vow we wrote during our ring exchange.

Definitely make sure the officiant has a copy of vows.  We used our own vows (actually, ones we found online and modified) and read them.  We got to the ceremony and as the minister was doing the lead in to the vow reading, DH and I both looked at each other and got wide eyed... we both forgot to bring our written vows to the ceremony!  Luckily the minister had a copy and we just passed it back and forth.  I'm typically not great at public speaking, so I was a bit worried about reading the vows, but we both held together really well and it turned out great. And I was so focused on DH while reading and promising my life to him, that I didn't even really notice the crowd or get nervous at all.

And we did repeat after minister during the ring exchange. 

huskypuppy14

We recited our own vows, which I found easier to read from a paper than repeat after me.

We did the repeat after me for the rings, and I stumbled on one line. 

Sugargirl1019

We did what most everyone did.

Vows - we read our own from a paper.
Ring Exchange - we repeated after the officiant

jynxiie

We're doing all three. I didn't realize this wasn't the norm.

We're saying our I dos... Then we're doing our vows... and then repeating after him during ring exchange.

raissyrais

We are not having personal vows so we will just be repeating after the officiant (my big brother eeeeek), exhange rings and then we are having a sand ceremony as we are getting married on the beach.

beharrington

We did the "I do" part with the ring exchange and the "repeat after me" vows.

Our videographer did this awesome thing for the wedding video - he cut out the priest during the vows so it's just us saying it.  So me saying "for better or for worse" the DH says it.  Then my line, then him saying it.  We have the entire ceremony too, but for the video it's pretty cool.