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Need some advice

So far it has been smooth sailing planning my wedding. Things have been coming together quite well and I'm actually enjoying the process. We're getting married next September. I got the church, venue and photographer all done with no bumps. Already found my dress. My amazing maid of honor has been helping me figure out what we want everything to look like, ect.. She found me a florist who said that she would beat any other quote I get.. Again it's all coming together.

My mom has been helping me out a lot as well. I'm lucky to have all the support I do. I'm worried about the day of the wedding though. My goal in wedding planning is ultimately I want to throw a great party and have the time of my life. If I am spending all of this money and putting all of this time into this then I'm going to have a good time. I know there are a lot of details that all have to fall in place the day of and even though my wedding is 11 months away I feel like I'm already stressing out about it.

I mentioned to my mom that a friend of mine has a day of wedding coordinator and she instantly says that we should just hire one so I'm less stressed. If money wasn't an issue then I would say of course! And really money is just a small issue. I know my parents could easily pay for one I just feel bad because they are already spending enough and I 'm not sure a day of coordinator is really something that we need. We're having about 120 guests. It's not like we have to manage a crowd of 500 people or set up a million tables..

Anyone every use a day of coordinator?? Or anyone whos already had their wedding come and go - how did you manage to organize who did what and when? I have enough people besides just my wedding party and my mom who would be more than willing to help out that day to make sure things get done. I"m just a little lost I guess.. Looking for some advice girls. Thanks in advance!

Re: Need some advice

  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited October 2014

    I'm a control freak and I did not have a coordinator.  At the church I laid everything out as I wanted it at the rehearsal and everyone involved in our day had very specific instructions whether it was a wedding party member or a vendor.  As far as the reception venue I think I used a whole pad of sticky notes to give directions for various items (the way I wanted the "guestbook" that wasn't really a book laid out, the "in memory" area, etc.) laid out.  I also met with her the Tuesday beforehand and went over things bit by bit by bit.  I think it's VERY important to have a reception venue that makes you feel comfortable about these details.  My DJ also went over the game plan with me numerous times and the venue manager was in on all of that as well so she knew the exact timeline of the evening. 

    On the flip side...I've also acted as a day of coordinator in a few friend's weddings.  They know I've done a lot of work volunteering as an event coordinator for non profits and they know I'm ridiculously organized and get it all done efficiently and on time so I'm always happy to help.  If you know of a friend like this they may be willing to help!  I think a HUGE key in all of it is finding vendors that you feel you can trust.  The only time I'd really, really recommend a day of coordinator is if you're using a venue where you have to bring in everything like tables/chairs, linens, catering, etc. and you have to do all the decorating on your own.  I think I would have lost it if that were the case! :) 

    Lastly -- about the florist you mentioned.  Check out Roses for Weddings.  I was unable to find a florist cheaper than her and I know another bride used her after my recommendation from this board and was thrilled.  She works out of her home so she's got amazing prices.  If you don't go with her then at least you have a lower price for your florist to compare to!

  • I think the more you organize and plan ahead of time, the less stress you'll have the day of. I wrote out exact itineraries of where EVERYONE needed to be at each part of the weekend. I had a sheet that listed all key people's phone numbers and gave it to everyone important (parents, honor attendants, church coordinator, reception coordinator, vendors, etc). I talked to each vendor the week before and went over each detail of their service. 

    I agree with the previous poster - if you have a super-organized friend or family member you could ask to act as the day of coordinator, take advantage of that! It would be nice to lean on someone you trust in the event something goes wrong.But if you don't, you should still be okay without one. Remember that everyone around you wants the day to go off without a hitch and don't be afraid to ask for help! I was surprised at how willing the spouses/dates of our bridal party were to pick up snacks, pick up tuxes and make phone calls to help us out. 

    All that said, keep in mind that there will be hiccups at the last minute despite all your planning. We had our ceremony at the chapel at John Carroll University...and of course, the week before the big day, their football team qualified for a playoff spot and ended up hosting a game that was happening at the same time as our ceremony! This meant traffic changes, parking lots being closed off, tons of people on campus....all my organized plans went out the window! But again, everyone pitched in and the day went off without a hitch :)

  • I did both - I organized everything myself as well as had a day of coordinator. I'm a type A person so I spent hours making timelines, phone trees, schedules etc but I knew the day of that I just wanted to enjoy every moment and not stress. Angela - our coordinator gave me that x10. Let me know if you want her contact info, she was a professional and well priced. My friends all took her information for their weddings. 

    As @mlg78 said having confidence in all of vendors is key. I fired my florist 3 weeks out because I didn't feel comfortable and hired a new one (Roses for Weddings). Best decision because I know I would have stressed over something not worth it. 

    This is not a knock at anyone who uses family and friends (especially if some volunteer) but I've been a worker bee many times. It's pretty normal in my family for the cousins and aunts to chip in and help but I didn't want that. Everyone commented that it was nice to sit back and relax this time. That made hiring out DoC so worth it. 


  • Thanks ladies! And if you could send her info that would be great! Always worth at least checking it out.
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I planned the entire wedding myself, but I did use a DOC on the wedding day. My venue had a coordinator that came with it, but I'm glad I hired my own because he decided not to come to the venue the day of my wedding and just let his staff handle it. He didn't leave them proper notes so my DOC had to change a lot of stuff around. Luckily, I had spreadsheets and diagrams with everything laid out exactly how it was supposed. My DOC also packed up everything at the end of the night and took it back to my house so I didn't have to worry about it and set up our after party while we were still at the reception. My family and friends didn't have to do anything on my wedding day except relax and enjoy themselves and they really appreciated that.

    My biggest reason for suggesting a DOC for anyone who can afford it is that I also didn't have to worry about anything on the day of my wedding. I was able to truly relax the entire day and have fun. Things are going to go wrong on your wedding day. It's just how it is. I didn't want to be bothered with that stuff while I was trying to get ready. My cake fell over about 3 hours before our wedding was supposed to start. Ceremony and reception were in the same room so it had to be fixed before the ceremony started. My DOC was able to get the baker back to the venue with new cake and get it fixed and I never knew about it until it was taken care of. If I had to get the cake fixed I wouldn't have had time to finish getting ready. My DOC really saved the day on that one.
  • Dignity100Dignity100 Northeastern Ohio member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    My wedding was a little different, since it was a Disney World wedding.  I had a Planner as part of my package.  I work a lot of hours as does my H, so it worked out really good.  I haven't been to many weddings so the day of, she acted as coordinator and made sure everybody was where they were supposed to be.  We got rained out of parts of our venue, so she made sure we all made it to the backup locations and that they were set up for a look I was going for. 

  • I didn't use a DOC and felt fine. Like one of the PP, I gave the reception venue details of how I wanted things and they were great about it. I made sure that they knew the names & table location of any special meals (I had 2 guests that neede special meals). The DJ was familiar with my venue so there was no issues with that. I meet with the DJ the week before the wedding and he provided me with a detailed schedule of events (entrances, dances, dinner, cake cutting, etc), which I provided a copy of it to the reception venue when I dropped off my items (guest book stuff, candles, escort cards, etc). The DJ & the venue worked together perfectly. The venue provided my cake & centerpieces so no issues there. I emailed my Limo company a detailed schedule of where they needed to be & when so the driver could map out the route before picking us up. I also contacted any other vendors the week of the wedding to finalize details. Another thing I did to reduce my stress level is I gave everyone, including parents, an schedule for the day of so that they knew what was going on & when. I didn't get a single question about where do I need to be, what are we doing next, when is this over?  Now I only had a wedding party of 8 people, not counting hubby & I and no kids involved. Everyone got along great. Now if I had a bigger wedding party, or people who didn't get along, I might have gotten a DOC to basically to save me from becoming a bridezilla bitch who yelled at everyone to get into place & keep everyone in line & on time. The DOC can play the "bitch in charge" roll.

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