Our officiant is grieving.

ElcaB

One of our closest friends is officiating our wedding this Saturday. Last night/this morning, his dog died. This dog was his best friend, and he & his wife are having a really difficult time. It's heartbreaking, because having lost a dog myself, I completely understand what they are going through.

I already texted him to let him know how sorry I am for his loss, and to let FI & I know if there's anything we can do. There probably isn't, but offering is the least I can do. 

I need some advice about how to proceed from here. We care greatly for our friends, but we also need to figure out how this will affect our ceremony plans as time is of the essence. I'm supposed to send him the ceremony script today (he had asked for it so he could practice), but don't feel right doing that. I need find a way to respect their grieving process while figuring out if he is able to go forth with officiating our wedding. What do you suggest?

climbingsingle

That is so sad! 

Do they live close by where you can go and see them? 

LakeR2014

@ElcaB - losing a dog is heartbreaking, but I don't think it'll do anything to affect your wedding plans - unless you have a pet you plan on incorporating in your wedding.

If I were you, I'd follow the text up with a nice 'sorry for your loss' card to the couple.   Wait a day to send your nuptials to him, and then let him decide how he'll proceed from there.   Asking him to decide on anything today - would be horrible, so give it a day, send the vows, and continue getting ready for Saturday.

kmmssg

As an animal mommy myself (who has lost loved furbabies) I think your wedding will be a welcome diversion for him and his wife.  Wait a day to send the script and get a card for them.  I think it will all work out for you.

bahamabride2015

Just seeing this and knowing that I will lose my pup one day breaks my heart.  I agree with PP, go see them if you can.  

I'm sure he will be ok for the wedding and it will be an nice distraction but also be prepared that they may not be their usual selves and that is perfectly ok.  Will probably be nice for them to be surrounded by friends.

Maggie0829

It is only Monday.  Send them a nice card offering your condolences and then wait until Wednesday or even Thursday to send the script.  He surely doesn't need a week to practice, and now with the loss of his dog, giving him a few days is the appropriate thing to do.  Not to be mean, but the last thing I bet he is worried about right now is reading over your ceremony script.  Just give him a few days and it will all be fine.

birdybride2014

I would probably drop by with a card, a baked good, and the script. He had requested having it by today, and maybe he doesn't want to go back on his word. And maybe they want the distraction of their normal day-to-day life. I'm sure they are grieving, but it may be nice to have some friends stop by and get some hugs and love. 

But, if you can't go there in person, then I agree with PPs to send a card and get the script to him later this week. 

Recently we had dear friends who lost a young puppy the day we were all heading out of town to go camping. None of us expected them to travel after losing the pup that afternoon, but really they wanted and needed the distraction, but everyone is different. 

MairePoppy

Your friend may welcome the distraction of practicing your ceremony, so I'd send the script as he requested. He can put it aside for a day or two if he's not up to it.

We have mourned the loss of several dearly loved pets. It's gut wrenching. If you can bring some comfort food, I'm sure it will be appreciated. If you can't, please consider making a donation to a rescue or other dog related organization, or drop pet supplies off at your local food pantry in memory of your friend's dog. You can include a note in your sympathy card.

novella1186

Today is Monday. I think by Saturday, he'll have had the chance to get over the initial shock, and he'll have had a few days to be alone or do whatever he needs to do to really hard-core grieve. (When my dog died, I spent the first two days crying my eyes out, and then I pulled it together and I was able to act fine around people as long as no one mentioned the dog.) I agree with PPs, he may be looking forward to the wedding as a distraction from the sad stuff.

ETA: I hope that didn't sound cold-hearted at all. My dogs are like my kids so if anything happened to them I'd be a total mess, but I think I'd be able to put myself together after a few days.  

mschristie123

I agree with PPs. My family just had to put our dog down at the beginning of September. It was a very hard week for me, and I cried for like 3 or 4 days, but I was still able to go to work and do the things that needed to get done. Not saying that all grieving is alike, but my bet is that he will be fine by Saturday, and will be able to focus on the script by the end of the week.

lc07

I would still send the script to him. I'd let him know that you are sending it per his request to have it by that date but that you understand he might not be ready to look it over right now and that you are thinking of him and his wife during this difficult time and reiterate that you are there for them should they need anything.