Eating Disorder & Wedding Triggers

natalielockwood

I hate to say this is happening right now in my life, but has anyone with a history of disordered eating found themselves triggered by the whole "gotta fit into the wedding dress" thing? I'm under enormous stress and pressure lately from other college and it's all sent me into a relapse spell. I feel terrified to do anything except be in panic, as illogical as that sounds. I am always feeling on the edge and emotional and can't concentrate well on getting anything good done. I really just want to be done with college and be married already, but I know this situation poses as a challenge towards me to either choose recovery or ED and that applies to me, my heart, and even my relationship with my future spouse. I feel like my mind is spiraling out of control and I wish I could simply make it all end right now. If anyone else is dealing with this, could we please support each other? Thank-you.

holyguacamole79

Do you have a therapist helping you with your ED recovery?  My sister is an ED survivor, so I have witnessed the effects of this nasty condition.  Please get help, Natalie.  I strongly encourage you to work with a therapist who specializes with ED to identify your triggers and help you manage them.

natalielockwood

I don't currently, but I have thought about how helpful that could be. We have counselors on my college campus (I have never been a fan of them in the past though) but I think it takes time to actually get into having sessions with them. Still it IS something I am trying to decide on because it is needed right now. I mean really lol, I feel like I am losing my mind all over again and it sucks. And I try to be a big girl and "take care of my own self" but idk...sometimes it really is like you can't and I guess you just have to accept it for the time being.

Love your picture underneath by the way lol

Thank you so much for your response.

holyguacamole79

I sent you a PM, Natalie.

climbingsingle

I've struggled with an ED in the past. I think you should seek out a counselor ASAP. Good luck. 

weddingcactus

natalielockwood said:

I don't currently, but I have thought about how helpful that could be. We have counselors on my college campus (I have never been a fan of them in the past though) but I think it takes time to actually get into having sessions with them. Still it IS something I am trying to decide on because it is needed right now. I mean really lol, I feel like I am losing my mind all over again and it sucks. And I try to be a big girl and "take care of my own self" but idk...sometimes it really is like you can't and I guess you just have to accept it for the time being.

Love your picture underneath by the way lol

Thank you so much for your response.

Getting help from a counselor or a therapist is being a big girl and taking care of yourself! It takes courage and maturity to ask for help and no one should ever ever be ashamed of getting help. I want to reach out and hug you and congratulate you on recognizing (and admitting to yourself) that the wedding craze is a trigger for your eating disorder. And then I want to beg you to find a therapist or counselor to help because I don't think an anonymous person on the internet is the solution. I wish I had more knowledge about eating disorders and could be of more help. But I think the previous posters suggestions of professional support is the right one. Also, if it were me, I would talk to my fiance and ask for his support. He is your partner in all this and it sounds like you need the support of those around you.

Knottie11416443

I totally feel you. The first two weeks we were engaged I was super excited and everything was in harmony. The month after was super gnarly and I was stressing about money, and not being enough, never being enough. I was going to be a step-mom and I was freaking that the kid's mom was going to sabotage and ruin my life. My fiancé was super confused why I was acting so weird and I went into this mode of making everyone else's food, but never for myself.  I have a therapist but I moved and she is too expensive and friends don't get it, so I can't talk to anyone. What got me to a good place is yoga. I started practicing yoga more and got back into my body, and am feeling a million times better. I highly recommend Kundalini, Hatha, Jivamukti, and Vinyasa yoga.  Sometimes talking about it isn't enough and you just need to move with it. I can't sit and meditate but I can do asanas (which are yoga posture sequences). No exercise allows me to get there like yoga does, sometimes you have to go everyday, but its still less expensive than therapy. 

I wouldn't go back to a counselor because I don't want to be enticed by meds. It's like, after investing into a counselor why not just go to the psychologist too and get the meds they both recommend and its a short-term fix. But do what is right for you. 

Try it for a month at least 1x per week and see if it helps. Good luck. 

-A