Ex boyfriend got married

peachy13

First experience with an ex-boyfriend getting married. It’s definitely a weird mixture of judgment of the wedding and happiness for him and his new bride.

Judgment (just me snarking; please don’t be offended): Sunday wedding, mason jars everywhere, incredibly cheesy B&G formals (and cheesy engagement photos from a few months ago)

Happiness: smiling couple, beautiful fall colors, pretty flowers, and lovely bride and her wedding dress 

Kind of just interesting is all… wondering if anyone else had similar thoughts when their exes got married?

theartistformerlyknownas

Yep. I think at one point I referred to the girl as "an uglier version of me." And I turned my nose up at everything they did. I don't know why I felt that way - I didn't want him, I think there's a good person out there for everyone, and I'm happy he found a better match than I was for him... it just put me in a really weird mood. I didn't like it and I'm glad I got over it.

southernbelle0915

The only thought I've ever had about it is: Glad it's not me! My exes are exes for a reason. I'm still friends with some of them, but there's a reason we didn't make it.

beethery

Any time I've heard an ex got engaged, had a chuckle to myself about how big a bag of garbage juice he was, and didn't think about it further. I give exactly zero fucks about what or who the trash goblins that I don't speak to are nailing/marrying.
The ones I'm still cool with haven't gotten there yet. When the time comes, I'll be happy for them.

flantastic

beethery said:

Any time I've heard an ex got engaged, had a chuckle to myself about how big a bag of garbage juice he was, and didn't think about it further. I give exactly zero fucks about what or who the trash goblins that I don't speak to are nailing/marrying.
The ones I'm still cool with haven't gotten there yet. When the time comes, I'll be happy for them.

New favorite term.

flyingfoxes

Kind of like lolo883 said - I had a weird feeling about it, but I got over it.  I don't want them, there's no reason to feel weird about it, I've found someone so much better! 

novella1186

The last contact I had with my college ex was when he called to accuse me of giving him the herp. He went to the Dr and found out it was actually an ingrown hair. Fucking moron. And that was months after we'd broken up, so if his dumb whore self got the herp it definitely would not have been from me. 

Lol did that sound bitter? I don't keep in contact with my exes. They are exes for a reason. If I heard through the grapevine that one of them got married, I'd either shrug or feel so very sorry/confused for the poor girl (depending on which ex it is) 

levioosa

My ex just got in a relationship with the girl who tried to break us up.  I'm like "good for you sweetie, you can have him."  They really deserve each other.  I felt weird for like two days and then got over it.  I think if I was single it would probably bother me more.    But it's still going to be weird if/when they get married (and I have this strange feeling that they will).

 Apart from the odd selfie on instagram I have no idea what he's up to until people (mutual friends) see the need to update me on his latest douchery.  I'm much happier without any trace of him in my life.  It's crazy how well SO treats me and how happy I am now.  

blabla89

None of my exes are married, but I had a "glad it's not me" moment when I saw on facebook that my high school BF got his new girlfriend pregnant. Like, I feel kind of sorry for her and for the kid who will be raised by him.

The last guy I dated before I met FI, I honestly hope that he meets the woman of his dreams and I will lurk all their wedding pictures on facebook. I know that will be a weird feeling when it happens, but I'll be mostly happy for them.

climbingsingle

None of my serious exes are married - at least not that I know about. But I did feel weird when my ex had a baby with a girl. I felt bad for her, because he was a cheater and was very vain, and I was almost positive he was cheating on her. He complained to a mutual friend about her weight gain. 

abbyj700

Eh, not really.

If they were bad people, they're no longer in my life - so I have no clue if they got married, let alone what their bride and/or wedding day looked like. 

If they were good people and it just didn't work out - I wouldn't really care. One of my most serious college ex's got married. I only knew this because I goggled his name at one point just trying to see what he was up to. He's a great guy. First listing was a wedding website for a wedding from a year earlier. He looked happy. That's all I cared about. 

Jells2dot0

I have a feeling my XH has remarried. He has been with the same woman for awhile now (broke up her marriage, so that was great!) At first, I was all "she is just a whore" and then I evovled to "Good luck to her- she is going to need it." I hope it works out for them, and I suspect based on the issues we had, she is a better match anyway. I just know what she is marrying into and I'm glad it's not me. 

spelling

JennyColada

I haven't been able to see any of my ex's get married, but one of my ex's got married when we were out of touch and he got divorced slightly recently. I sent him a message just saying something like "hey man, if you want to talk let me know! Sorry that you're going through a tough time." and then he promptly closed his FB account (or blocked me). Whatever.

I got a couple of messages from ex's (one being my most recent ex). When I ignored said ex's message my bff told me that the ex had PM'd her a month or two ago asking if I got married yet. She said not yet and then he said "well she looks happy. He looks like he treats her well, much better than I did." Her reply: "Uh yea he does, that's why she's marrying him." Lol.

slothiegal

I had a really hard time when my first ex got married.  He was a piece of shit, but he was my first boyfriend, and we were in lurrrrve and planned on getting married (because I was young and knew everything, after all).  It was an added layer of hurt because it was to a girl that ANOTHER ex of mine had cheated on me with, so I already had (misplaced) sour feelings toward her.  I was much younger and in a much more unstable point in my life, and it was bad all around.

I'm happy to say I'm way past that. 

thisismynickname2

Some of my exes I was just plain happy for, but I can think of two where I felt really weird about it. 

The one was the worst... he married the next girlfriend after me. Taller, skinnier, blonder, bigger boobs.  Of course. 

The other, again, married the next girlfriend after me. However, that guy was a scumbag anyway and I dodged a bullet. They divorced this year (about 4 years of marriage). 

Weird feelings about it all are totally natural. 

gladyscf

levioosa said:

My ex just got in a relationship with the girl who tried to break us up.  I'm like "good for you sweetie, you can have him."  They really deserve each other.  I felt weird for like two days and then got over it.  I think if I was single it would probably bother me more.    But it's still going to be weird if/when they get married (and I have this strange feeling that they will).

 Apart from the odd selfie on instagram I have no idea what he's up to until people (mutual friends) see the need to update me on his latest douchery.  I'm much happier without any trace of him in my life.  It's crazy how well SO treats me and how happy I am now.  

Why do people do this? I have an ex-h who is awful and one of our mutual friends will always bring him up when we get together. I just bean-dip. 

I also hope she isn't running back to him to report what I'm up to but I have a feeling if they are willing to do it about him, they probably are about me too.

ohannabelle

Oh, I crapped bricks when my ex (The Prince of Darkness, not Hippie Dad) got married because

(Get this shit!)

We weren't divorced yet!

Seriously. That evil shitbag just left the country, figured nobody would be the wiser, and just married the first girl that was fool enough to say yes. 

What the hell? And yep, I Facebook stalked their wedding pictures just for the entertainment. He looks like hell. And he's definitely lowered his standards. 

I pity her.  

levioosa

gladyscf said:

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levioosa said:

My ex just got in a relationship with the girl who tried to break us up.  I'm like "good for you sweetie, you can have him."  They really deserve each other.  I felt weird for like two days and then got over it.  I think if I was single it would probably bother me more.    But it's still going to be weird if/when they get married (and I have this strange feeling that they will).

 Apart from the odd selfie on instagram I have no idea what he's up to until people (mutual friends) see the need to update me on his latest douchery.  I'm much happier without any trace of him in my life.  It's crazy how well SO treats me and how happy I am now.  

Why do people do this? I have an ex-h who is awful and one of our mutual friends will always bring him up when we get together. I just bean-dip. 

I also hope she isn't running back to him to report what I'm up to but I have a feeling if they are willing to do it about him, they probably are about me too.

Yeah, I don't really keep in touch with too many of our old mutual friends but every once in awhile I see them and they make sure to talk about him.  Whatever.  I got really upset when he spread rumors about me stalking him after we broke up (as if) and it made me pull away from our mutual friends almost completely.  But his BFF is good friends with my BFF, and when he vents to her, she makes sure to tell me.  I also have been at parties where people start talking shit without knowing I'm his ex, which is entertaining.  It's nice to know that finally other people see him as a douche too.  I honestly don't care what he thinks, because I'm in a way better place now.  

holyguacamole79

I still remember when I found out that my ex (my first boyfriend & my first love) got engaged.  We broke up because we knew the relationship had no future - we had very different career goals and religious beliefs.  It was a very amicable split, and we remained friends for several years.  Then I didn't hear from him for a while.

It was October 9, 2005.  The Astros and Braves were in the NLDS and I was at the game.  It was in 15th inning and my phone rang.  I didn't recognize the number but answered it anyway. 
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's Ryan"
"Who?"
"Ryan X" (his last name)
"Oh.  Hi."
"Got a sec?"
"Not really, I'm at the Astros game and it's in the 15th inning."
"Oh.  Cool.  I was just calling to tell you that I got engaged."
"Holy shit, Roger Clemens is coming in to pinch-hit!!!  I gotta go - talk later!"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2005_National_League_Division_Series#Game_4.2C_October_9

I called him later and we chatted briefly.  We are Facebook friends, but I haven't seen him in at least 10 years.  I had mixed emotions, but never one of jealousy or anger. 

I still talk to one of my other exes because that split up was also fairly amicable and we have some shared friends.  He got married shortly after we did.

My most recent ex is still single as far as I know.  He's a complete jerkwad and I recently told him to stop stalking my LinkedIn profile. 

bethsmiles

When my ex got married I didn't really give it too much thought. I think beyond a "That's nice, I'm glad he's happy" and looking at the pictures on Facebook I didn't think about it very much.

hellohkb

I've never had an ex get married, but an ex unfriended me on fb after I got engaged. I thought it was odd. He was in a serious relationship and I was expecting them to get engaged any day now. But now I'll never know unless I e-stalk him!

jenna8984

My first serious boyfriend and first love was a really abusive dickhead. So we definitely cut all ties and did not stay friends. When a mutual friend said a few years later that he got married I was a little weirdly mad/ jealous/ who knows what. It wasn't that I wanted him, it was more how did he get there before me when I'm awesome and he's an asshole?

But I noticed him "like" a friend's facebook post recently. So of course I clicked on him to be a nosey nelly after all these years. I texted my best friend and said "I clicked on Nate on FB.....I was reeeally hoping his new baby was ugly, but I can't lie, she's frigen adorable."

KatieinBkln

I don't think any of my exes are married. The one I'm friendly with is in a happy relationship, though.

But, just for kicks...apropos? (clicky==>) Alanis Morissette – You Oughta Know

theartistformerlyknownas

jenna8984 said:

My first serious boyfriend and first love was a really abusive dickhead. So we definitely cut all ties and did not stay friends. When a mutual friend said a few years later that he got married I was a little weirdly mad/ jealous/ who knows what. It wasn't that I wanted him, it was more how did he get there before me when I'm awesome and he's an asshole?

But I noticed him "like" a friend's facebook post recently. So of course I clicked on him to be a nosey nelly after all these years. I texted my best friend and said "I clicked on Nate on FB.....I was reeeally hoping his new baby was ugly, but I can't lie, she's frigen adorable."

Yeah I definitely felt this way. Like he didn't deserve to be happy with someone before I was.

MegEn1

The only time something like this happened to me is when I was quasi-seeing a guy but we hadn't had the 'talk' yet. So I get off work to get on the train to meet him and check my phone - "Hey, I'm dating my best friend's girlfriend now so we probably shouldn't see each other."

I missed my stop because it was like a punch in the gut. Went to hang out with him and the best friend anyway, who at that point didn't know anything about it yet (apparently this guy and his bf's ex had just made the decision earlier that day) and got shit-faced. I told him I just wanted to be friends and wandered off. Wandered back later because I'd lost my cell phone and they both helped me look for it. This was after the guy had told his ex-bf about this and ex-bf had slugged him in the solar plexus.

So there's that.

Kauris

For some reason, everyone and their mom felt the need to keep me in the loop about my ex. I DGAF because I was already dating DH, obviously then BF. 

Apparently it was pretty juicy because the week he got engaged to his now wife, it came out that he had been having a full blown affair with his best friend's wife. So I was actually kind of stunned that even though he was a complete jerk that he would actually stoop to that level. Everyone who told me though I guess was looking for some huge reaction from me and all I could say was that I felt bad for all involved and that he wasn't my problem anymore. 

Even now (four years later) people try to tell me stuff about him and I still DGAF.

LakeR2014

My ex I used to live with was engaged to the girl he started dating after me within 10 months of dating.   That was after we had dated for 3 years and we broke up because he wasn't ready for marriage...and we just didn't fit.  

I was not completely over it when I found out and although I knew we'd never get back together it hurt/was weird to hear about it.  They married a year later.   After I heard about his engagement I un-friended him on FB.  I figured if it hurt to hear he was engaged I probably wasn't ready to be friends on FB.    That was long before I met my DH and after meeting him I completely knew why my ex and I would've never made it.   Hindsight, experience, and wisdom are AMAZING things!

jdluvr06

I don't think any of my exes have gotten married. I'd be happy for them if they did even though I doubt I'd hear about it. I don't really keep up with any of them. The one ex I did keep up with got engaged a few years ago but he died before they had the chance to get married. It was really sad.

moutonrouge

Only one of my serious exes has gotten married. That was a bit of a trainwreck - he started dating this woman and disappeared - no contact with any friends. It turns out that 3 months into dating she got pregnant (with twins), they got married, she is not a mentally healthy person, they divorce, he's fighting for custody of the babies. This was 2 years ago and everyone found out about marriage-babies-divorce-custody in one blow. He's a nice guy, so I feel badly that things took such a turn for him. 

I don't keep up with one ex - that ended pretty badly and I wrote him off completely. My HS ex can't keep down a job or a girlfriend (although his relationship with drugs is unchanged), and another ex from college has been dating the same girl for like 5 years now; he started dating her after me and she's just as expected but he's also a nice guy so good for him finding what he wants. 

lovemyrunner

One ex is married and has been for several years, no kids that I know of.  When I first found out, I was a little sad.  He was my first bf/first love and it took me a looooong time to get over it.  We hadn't been in touch for like ten years but we're FB friends now and talk occasionally.  He's happy and I'm glad, but I still think I'm cuter than her.

Last ex was a total douche canoe.  Alcoholic and abusive.  We were together 7 years and lived together for 5.5 of those years.  When I finally broke it off for good, it took several months for him to get it through his head.  I ended things in November 2011 and he was still trying to get me to take him back the following July.  Then I saw on FB December of 2012 that he just had a baby with some girl.  So yeah, baby mama was 4 months preggo while he was trying to get me back.  How the hell were you gonna explain that one, dipshit?!?  She's pretty trashy looking, but I honestly just feel sorry for her.  I cut him loose, but now she's gonna have to deal with his shitty decisions for the rest of her life.

I met FI in August 2012 and never looked back.  He is amazing, and I can appreciate his awesomeness even more now that I've dealt with the opposite end of the spectrum.

charlottesmom0626

I did feel snarky, weird, and bitchy when my exboyfriend got married. 

Mostly because when we broke up (read: he cheated) I decided we were NOT going to remain friends, and yet he continued to text me semi regularly as "friends" he would say things like"I miss you in my life" and then "I think I'm going engagement ring shopping" it was fucking weird. Almost like whatever he could say to try to get a reactions? Maybe I'm being conceited to think he didn't want to let go...

Anyway, I too thought the girl was "an uglier version of me" (so snarky. ) and her dress was hideous. Completely tacky, cheesy wedding.