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The saddest wedding EVER. Lurkers, don't ever do this...

I run a large restaurant/bar/music venue with tons of semi and private event space. We hold a lot of different events year-round but don't normally host weddings/receptions, we're just not that kind of place. 

Late in the day this past Thursday an event is uploaded to us by our corporate office: a wedding reception for 75 people. For this past Sunday. Yep, 48 hours to plan. 

We call the couple first thing Friday to get them to come in to discuss their food and beverage. We have until 2pm on Saturday to will-call additional food from our purveyor as we get orders on Mondays and Fridays. Nope, they're "busy" with wedding preparations until 4pm Saturday afternoon. Nothing could possibly go wrong in this scenario, right?

With a ton of foreboding I tried to remain as professional as possible through the meeting. They think they're only going to have 60 adults and 20 kids. Ok, great. They choose a buffet from our menu for $28 per person. We can execute this. Things aren't as terrible as they seem.

Then, reminding them they have a $1200 minimum spend, which they agreed to when they signed the space contract on Thursday, I asked about alcohol. They tell us their guests will have to run their own tabs. Cash bar. Ok, I can deal, I've seen this before, a million times. I then ask who will be responsible for paying the final bill for the food. This is where the needle skipped the fuck off the record: they look at me like I'm crazy and they tell me their guests are responsible to pay for their own meals. Meals they don't even get a say in ordering!!! I barely remain my composure and I ask, carefully phrasing this to not offend the client, "Has it been made clear to your guests that they will be responsible for their meal as well?" They say yes, but for some reason I'm not fully convinced. 

My mind is reeling at this point because I know 24 hours from then I was going to be dealing with possibly intoxicated, probably nuclear-pissed wedding reception guests when we hand them their bills. Fuck me, I have no idea how we're gong to figure out who is supposed to be on whose tab and how many buffet meals per tab, etc. I finally decided I would appoint a buffet czar and have them collect credit cards to start tabs and wrist band those in the buffet line. I'm appalled but have few options. So we humor them.

They call later Saturday night and reduce their numbers by about 1/3. By the big day, they drop their number again upon arrival to 20 adults and 10 kids. All-in they had 12 adults (including the B&G) and five hellion children, who inevitably trashed the place frat-party style.

The Bride was inconsolable that so few people showed up. Her mood was made significanly worse when she remembered she was legally bound to spend at least $1200. Apparently they have "no money." She refuses to eat to control costs (which is completely counter intuitive since they have a minimum they HAVE to meet, but whatever). Her few guests look miserable. Her husband would sneak back to the buffet repeatedly so she could eat from his plate. She found $4 in the bust of her dress to pay for his one beer. Then they started opening the few cards the handful of people who did attend brought obviously looking for cash to pay their tab. It was heartbreaking and like a train wreck all at the same time.

It was the single most depressing wedding reception I've ever witnessed. I waived their minimum. Her Mom coughed up the $400 they spent to avoid further embarassment.

Moral of this nightmare: Cash bars are icky. They happen, we all live through it. Cash buffets, not so much. Your people won't show up. You'll be heartbroken. So much NO. I never thought this scenario could truly play out. But I've seen it. And it's ugly.
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Re: The saddest wedding EVER. Lurkers, don't ever do this...

  • Holy train wreck, Batman.

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  • Wow. That just kept getting worse and worse.
  • oh good god, what a horrible thing to witness.

    I am embarrassed for them just READING this, I can't imagine how you felt being there.
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  • What the holy hell? Who thinks making their guests pay for their meal is a good idea?? 

    What I'm wondering is how the guests knew ahead of time and didn't show. Was it on the invitations? 
  • Oh my God. That is so awful. I feel bad for everyone involved.
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  • mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2014
    esstee33 said:
    What the holy hell? Who thinks making their guests pay for their meal is a good idea?? 

    What I'm wondering is how the guests knew ahead of time and didn't show. Was it on the invitations? 
    I have no idea. I was trying to tread as carefully as possible. From the snippets of conversations I picked up I think some people found out at the ceremony and bounced before the reception, making it even worse since they had reason to believe those people would be in attendance since they made it to the ceremony.

    They are so lucky I actually do have a heart and a general rule about never upsetting a bride on her wedding day. Most venues would have forced the amount on to the credit card on file and let them work it out with their bank. 

    I never saw her smile once. They were the last to leave and they looked like the team the played for just lost the Super Bowl. Watching it go down was like being punched in the stomach. When they started rifling through their cards hunting for cash I left the room. I had to go steel myself against the fact that waiving a minimum like that could possibly get me fired. I hoped my superiors would side with me after hearing about the shit show. Thankfully, they did.

    Edited: words
  • Holy crap. I've never heard of anything like that. That was extremely nice of you and your boss for waiving the minimum. 

                                                                     

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  • Any info on why it was planned so last minute??

     







  • I want to feel bad for the bride but did she really think people would be okay with paying for their own meal? I hope she learned something from this experience...but I'm sure she's just mad that no one loves her enough.
    Reading stories on TK all this time I knew there are a lot of obtuse people out there. And I don't hold out for a ton of proper etiquette from our clientele. Cash bars are VERY common at our venue. My personal opinion of them is neither welcome nor appropriate from a liquor-selling perspective. But I have no idea on god's green earth how these people thought we were going to hand their guests individual bills at the end of the reception and everyone was going to be cool?

    I can maybe, MAYBE see a couple saying, "hey, we're getting married then going to such and such a place, dutch treat if you want to join us." But choosing the meal at $X then forcing people to either be hungry or pay up, yea, I got nothing on how that's supposed to work!
  • This was me reading this:

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    That must have been brutal.  You are kind to cut them loose from the $1200 minimum.  I agree with other PPs: The bride was blind to think people would want to pay for their own meal.
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  • Any info on why it was planned so last minute??
    I hope you're sitting. 

    The story I got from one of our servers who was working the reception was that it all started as a group wedding. As in, they had a group of couples friends that all agreed to have a group wedding and group reception. Ok, different strokes and all.

    But then one by one the other couples sobered up backed out of the plan leaving this couple as the last two to have the date set.

    I don't know the particulars on why they didn't have a reception venue planned or any reception stuff figured out until two days before. I didn't ask. 

    I'm still confused as to why with so little planned in advance they couldn't reschedule when they could pull it together a bit more appropriately. I'm beginning to think they just really had no idea what they were doing was not appropriate by a long way.
  • I read this all prepared to clutch my pearls and be angry, but by the end of it I was just so, so sad.
    For different reasons that's EXACTLY how I felt going to work and leaving on Sunday.


  • Any info on why it was planned so last minute??

    I hope you're sitting. 

    The story I got from one of our servers who was working the reception was that it all started as a group wedding. As in, they had a group of couples friends that all agreed to have a group wedding and group reception. Ok, different strokes and all.

    But then one by one the other couples sobered up backed out of the plan leaving this couple as the last two to have the date set.

    I don't know the particulars on why they didn't have a reception venue planned or any reception stuff figured out until two days before. I didn't ask. 

    I'm still confused as to why with so little planned in advance they couldn't reschedule when they could pull it together a bit more appropriately. I'm beginning to think they just really had no idea what they were doing was not appropriate by a long way.


    Two words: SHIT SHOW

    I also smell a PPD in the making.

    I do feel bad, but at the same time, if all of my plans came crumbling down, I'd just postpone the reception part and have a nice celebration when I can afford it.

     







  • Wow. That is really bizarre and sad. It seems like the biggest unorganized mess I've ever heard of in terms of weddings.


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  • This was me reading this:

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    That must have been brutal.  You are kind to cut them loose from the $1200 minimum.  I agree with other PPs: The bride was blind to think people would want to pay for their own meal.

    Day made with this GIF.
  • Any info on why it was planned so last minute??
    I hope you're sitting. 

    The story I got from one of our servers who was working the reception was that it all started as a group wedding. As in, they had a group of couples friends that all agreed to have a group wedding and group reception. Ok, different strokes and all.

    But then one by one the other couples sobered up backed out of the plan leaving this couple as the last two to have the date set.

    I don't know the particulars on why they didn't have a reception venue planned or any reception stuff figured out until two days before. I didn't ask. 

    I'm still confused as to why with so little planned in advance they couldn't reschedule when they could pull it together a bit more appropriately. I'm beginning to think they just really had no idea what they were doing was not appropriate by a long way.
    Two words: SHIT SHOW I also smell a PPD in the making. I do feel bad, but at the same time, if all of my plans came crumbling down, I'd just postpone the reception part and have a nice celebration when I can afford it.
    It actually has become known around our office by five words: epic shit show reception fail.

    If they opt for a mulligan I just pray they're not sentimental about the location - I don't want them booking it at our place again. And I'm not sure who'd attend - the Bride looked PISSED, like she was going to doubly embarrass herself by going home and calling the folks that boned out to raise hell. I really hope she didn't for her sake.
  • Oh man. This makes me so sad. :( And also grateful for my awesome reception.

    When I managed a pub, we once had a girl (a GIRL AS IN, she was only like 14!) reserve our private room for a launch party for some fashion line she produced. She estimated 40 people so we planned out food and beverage.

    The day came and she was the only one to show up. The. Only. One. It was heartbreaking.

    I almost wanted to make my staff go sit in there with her just so she had someone to talk to.
  • Oh man. This makes me so sad. :( And also grateful for my awesome reception. When I managed a pub, we once had a girl (a GIRL AS IN, she was only like 14!) reserve our private room for a launch party for some fashion line she produced. She estimated 40 people so we planned out food and beverage. The day came and she was the only one to show up. The. Only. One. It was heartbreaking. I almost wanted to make my staff go sit in there with her just so she had someone to talk to.
    My inner-awkward-14-year-old-girl just cringed. Oh no!!

    At one point my two other managers and I sat in our office discussing what we could do to try to make lemonade out of their lemons. Before I bucked up and waived their minimum we all discussed throwing in cash anonymously. One of those random acts of kindness type of things. Then we all realized none of us were particularly flush at the moment.

    So we settled on finding a free sample bottle of pretty decent tequila and sending out a round on the house. Try to liven things up a bit (I've seriously been to funerals that were more fun than what was going on in there). It didn't work. :-/
  • That is incredibly sad. I feel terrible that that's how they're going to remember their wedding day, even though they did sort of bring it on themselves. Yikes.

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  • I've got a giant bag of NOPES for this one.
  • Ugh. I cringed so much through this thread. Afternoon cake and punch reception, anyone? Hell, even a party tray from Subway. A fun backyard bbq. Anything! There are options! You don't have to crash the train. 

    I once watched an episode of bridezilla where literally 4 people showed up to the reception and of course the bride threw a huge tantrum over it and then stomped out. I kind of felt like she deserved it... If you treat people like crap, you're a total fool for expecting them to want to be around you/ celebrate with you. 
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  • What a sad mess all around.  I think it's awesome that you waived the minimum for them!
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  • Oh goodness...that's awful.

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