Have fun FI

afox007

FI and FSS think I have lost my mind. Just checked the mail and found an invite for his brothers wedding. It was addressed to FI and FSS. They don't get why I'm annoyed and hurt. They dont get why I refuse to let them just RSVP for 3. They don't get why I won't agree to just fly down there with them because FFIL would make sure they made room for me.

FI thinks his brother didn't add me just since we haven't met and maybe he doesn't know about me. That I think was what annoyed me most. 1) I sent his brother a cheesy family pic Christmas card last year. 2) he's friends with FI on FB 3) he got our address from FFIL who has met me several times 4) it doesn't fucking matter if you know about SO's part of the guest list is finding out!

This is why ettiquete matters! And yes I know I'm preaching to the choir. And yes im throwing myself a pity party. I just needed to vent to people who get it!

theartistformerlyknownas

WTF?! How can someone's brother not know that they're about to marry someone? 

If any ACQUAINTANCE of mine, let alone family member, claimed to "not know" about H (or when he was a SO or FI), I'd say they weren't close enough to necessitate me going to their wedding.

hellohkb

lolo883 said:

WTF?! How can someone's brother not know that they're about to marry someone? 

If any ACQUAINTANCE of mine, let alone family member, claimed to "not know" about H (or when he was a SO or FI), I'd say they weren't close enough to necessitate me going to their wedding.

I was wondering the same thing. How does his own brother not know about you?

afox007

Not that it excuses it, but its his half brother. They lived states apart their whole life. They usually spent summers and holidays growing up and now contact is limited to FB and the phone.

Still not a good excuse. FB alone could tell him there's a FI in the picture.

Sugargirl1019

I would probably have FI call and say some conversation and then throw in, hey I got your invite, we won't be attending because afox007 wasn't invited.

I'm so surprised your FI doesn't understand why you're upset though. I'm sorry

novella1186

Ew. I'm sorry. I would throw a pity party if this happened to me, too. I've gone to great lengths to find out the SO's of everyone on our guest list and not only made sure to put their name on the envelope, but in some cases I even facebook-stalked them just to make sure I spelled their name correctly. Etiquette is about being kind. Is it not cool to hurt someone's feelings, whether you intended to or not. 

mschristie123

Fuck that. That makes me so mad for you! :-(

pinkcow13

Wow, that is not cool.  I'm sorry, I would be throwing myself a pity party as well.

OliveOilsMom

Why can't your FI just call his brother and ask if you are invited? We tell people in relationships all the time when their SO isn't invited to call and clarify with the B&G. 2 months after I was married, I received a wedding invite addressed to me only and in my maiden name. It was to be understood that my H was of course invited (eye roll), even though the envelope was not addressed properly.

STARMOON44

OliveOilsMom said:

Why can't your FI just call his brother and ask if you are invited? We tell people in relationships all the time when their SO isn't invited to call and clarify with the B&G. 2 months after I was married, I received a wedding invite addressed to me only and in my maiden name. It was to be understood that my H was of course invited (eye roll), even though the envelope was not addressed properly.

This. Sounds like the brother is basically an acquaintance. Before you dial the rage up to level 7, maybe just ask your FI to call his brother and say "hey, my fiancées name wasn't on the invite- is she invited?"

I mean, honestly, "I sent a goofy card" does not a relationship make.

afox007

FI was talking to FFIL this morning on the drive to work. FI asked if he knew anything about the first list. Apparently to save money and time they are not inviting anyone they haven't met. The bride doesn't want to spend her day meeting people.

He didn't think FI or I would mind since FI and FSS went to the other brothers wedding without me a few years ago....we had our first date 10 days before that wedding so that is a ridiculous argument.

On the bright side now that FI sees it wasn't something as silly as people not knowing how to address envelopes he gets why I was annoyed.

MegEn1

What a shitty bride. God I hope she's on these forums and sees us saying how shitty she is.

afox007

Hell she probably was one of the 5 million SS we get who ask if they have to invite SO's. then as soon as she heard she did she bailed and went to WW to get validation on being shitty.

futuremrsr2015

You haven't met her so she won't mind not being invited to your wedding either then?