Offering Hair/Makeup Question...

yogablossom

Hey ladies!

I've been in weddings where the bride paid for us to get our hair and makeup done. It was really a fun treat from the bride(s) and it is something I'd love to do for my friends, my mother and my future mother-in-law. I am of the understanding that if a bride is REQUIRING hair and/or makeup to be done, then the bride is paying for it.  There is certainly no misunderstanding with that.

However, offering to pay for everyone to get hair and makeup done is very expensive.  I do not think I can afford to treat everyone to BOTH. I CAN afford to treat everyone to either hair OR makeup, whichever they decide they want.  I am NOT requiring anyone to have hair or makeup done. It is just something I want to treat everyone to. 

Is it okay for me to offer them to choose to either have their hair or makeup done professionally? Again, I am not requiring that anyone has to have their makeup or hair done professionally. I just would like to offer it as a gift/thank you (in addition to their actual gifts, which are NOT wedding related). That, and when I was a bridesmaid and was treated to hair and makeup, it was just a load of fun the day of the wedding getting all that special treatment! It's not everyday someone can get their hair or makeup done by someone who knows what they're doing (definitely more than I do!)

Let me know your thoughts! Thank you!

hellohkb

yogablossom said:

Hey ladies!

I've been in weddings where the bride paid for us to get our hair and makeup done. It was really a fun treat from the bride(s) and it is something I'd love to do for my friends, my mother and my future mother-in-law. I am of the understanding that if a bride is REQUIRING hair and/or makeup to be done, then the bride is paying for it.  There is certainly no misunderstanding with that.

However, offering to pay for everyone to get hair and makeup done is very expensive.  I do not think I can afford to treat everyone to BOTH. I CAN afford to treat everyone to either hair OR makeup, whichever they decide they want.  I am NOT requiring anyone to have hair or makeup done. It is just something I want to treat everyone to. 

Is it okay for me to offer them to choose to either have their hair or makeup done professionally? Again, I am not requiring that anyone has to have their makeup or hair done professionally. I just would like to offer it as a gift/thank you (in addition to their actual gifts, which are NOT wedding related). That, and when I was a bridesmaid and was treated to hair and makeup, it was just a load of fun the day of the wedding getting all that special treatment! It's not everyday someone can get their hair or makeup done by someone who knows what they're doing (definitely more than I do!)

Let me know your thoughts! Thank you!

I think it is perfectly acceptable to offer one or the other alongside their bridal party gifts. You don't *have* to pay for both.

larrygaga

That's really nice of you! Personally I would never let anyone touch my face and I know I can do my own makeup better than anyone else. A lot of people don't like makeup artists. Giving the maids a choice might become a hassle, so if it does and you end up picking between the two, you should pick hair!

allispain

It's perfectly fine to do what you're suggesting.

I offered to pay for all of my girls to get their hair done. I asked if any of them wanted to get their make-up done as well, and they all said "no, thank you" since they all felt perfectly comfortable doing their own make-up.

HeatherKat

I actually just sent the hair/makeup email to my girls (I thought it was early, but the salon I want to book said that they are filling up for June '15 weddings already, so I need to book soon). I just told them that I'm paying for their hair, and if they'd like to have their makeup done it is $25, or $35 if they want air brush. Think on it and let me know if you think you'd like the make up (though I don't need a final answer until closer to the big day), or if you'd prefer to NOT have your hair professionally done so I can book the appointment.

To thread jack, since I don't think this question needs its own thread and this seems at least somewhat appropriate: Did anyone invite their FMIL to morning of getting ready? I'd offer the same as I'm offering my girls-- I've got hair, you're on your own for makeup if you'd like it done.

Oh! And another question (Sorry, OP!)-- I have a bridesman, who's hair is long--- longer than mine! Do I invite him to the salon and see if the stylist can do a braid or something? Or does that get awkward?

cowgirl8238

The salon I ended up using was very affordable so it wasn't out of budget to have both hair and make-up done.  Most of my girls were just looking for hair in the beginning, but on the morning of they all jumped into the make-up chair to complete their looks!  I did have one girl who did her own hair and just makeup done though.

I think it is really nice to give them the choice and then let them decide if they want one or the other. In general I think they might lean towards hair over make-up but you won't know unless you ask! 

peachy13

I know it's not required, but it's definitely a nice treat. Since hair and makeup is quite pricey, and I have 9 bridesmaids, I don't think I'll be able to swing treating everyone to hair and makeup, even though I would obviously love to. Instead, I'll plan to tip both the hair stylist and the makeup artists for whoever in my bridal party wants their hair or makeup done, to help ease their expenses a little bit. Also will be giving them a bridesmaid gift too.

peachy13

I might also ask all your bridesmaids what they want first. If everyone wants their hair done and only half want their makeup done, maybe offer to pay for everyone's hair.

yogablossom

@HeatherKat: I am inviting my FMIL to the morning of to get ready with all of us because I am having my mom get ready with us and also my FSIL is in the bridal party, too! I was thinking that I would pay for both hair and makeup for the moms and myself, and then pay for whichever the bridesmaids choose. 

But as other responders pointed out, if I find a good package, I may be able to afford both for everyone, so we will see! I have to look around still.  I was just going by what others have told me how much they paid for makeup alone, and I was shocked. And I have 5 bridesmaids, the moms and myself to pay for.  I also have a bridesman, but his hair isn't long--he likes to do it himself. If I were you, I'd invite him to the salon, even if he plans on doing his own hair--because it'll be a fun morning getting ready and I'm sure he'd love to be included in the invite since he is in the bridal party. 

Thanks for all your responses! I feel better about what I'm thinking of doing

yogablossom

@peachy13 that's a good idea! A lot of my friends are AWESOME at makeup, so they may only want hair done.  Good thinking

thelastdreamer

I would just say that you're willing to pay for one or the other and if they'd like to pay for the other the cost is X but it is up to them. I offered to pay for everything for my girls and only two of them ended up wanting their makeup done anyway. Everyone else preferred to do their own makeup. 

princessleia22

I asked my BM's (3 of them) if they wanted hair & makeup.  None of them were interested in makeup, but they all wanted hair. I paid for all of them to do hair.  I also offered to both mom's, but they both stated that they would rather do their own hair & makeup. 

The last wedding I was in, they offered makeup, but I felt more comfortable doing my own. I know a lot of people feel this way.  So, definitely ask if they are even interested in makeup.

theartistformerlyknownas

You could also phrase it like "I'll be having hair and makeup done at such and such place at this time; if you would like to join me for either or both I'll be covering the first $xx dollars of whatever you choose."

@HeatherKat my FMIL asked if she could get her hair done with us, and I said absolutely. I also offered to treat my mom to makeup. 

Does your bridesman normally wear his hair in a braid, or are you trying to force him into his hair looking a certain way? Please don't do that. You can ask if there's anything he'd like done at the salon while the rest of you are there, but suggesting he should braid his hair is... really weird.

HeatherKat

lolo883 said:

You could also phrase it like "I'll be having hair and makeup done at such and such place at this time; if you would like to join me for either or both I'll be covering the first $xx dollars of whatever you choose."

@HeatherKat my FMIL asked if she could get her hair done with us, and I said absolutely. I also offered to treat my mom to makeup. 

Does your bridesman normally wear his hair in a braid, or are you trying to force him into his hair looking a certain way? Please don't do that. You can ask if there's anything he'd like done at the salon while the rest of you are there, but suggesting he should braid his hair is... really weird.

Fair point! You ladies have taught me well enough that I'd never make, or even suggest that my BP styles their hair in a certain way.

 Re: the braid, my bridesman-- he works part time in food service, so has to wear it pulled back, and is a pro-actor at a Renaissance faire, so wears his hair in braids fairly often. I don't particularly care if he wants it down, a simple pony, a neat braid, or an elaborate updo-- I'm just excited that he's flying across the country to stand with me!

 My question was more "is it awkward to ask this dude if he wants to come to the salon", but we do enough awkward ridiculous stuff together that "hey dude, wanna come get pretty and drink mimosas with me" is fairly low on the list of weird shit we've done. Asking now!

theartistformerlyknownas

@HeatherKat gotcha. Yeah, don't think there's anything weird about asking him if he'd like to join and showing him the menu of services! Maybe he'd like a nice shampoo and blow dry. My friend's man of honor got a pedicure with us.

[Deleted User]

I've always thought that the dude's version of a spa day should include a professional shave with a straight razor.  Theoretically, if I was a guy, I'd "pamper" myself with that on special occasions.

HeatherKat

adk19 said:

I've always thought that the dude's version of a spa day should include a professional shave with a straight razor.  Theoretically, if I was a guy, I'd "pamper" myself with that on special occasions.

What a great idea! I'll have to see if the salon has something like that, or else I know there is a great old school barber nearby too. I'll look into that more!