Wedding Etiquette Forum

Escort cards/dinner preference

I'm sure this has been an issue before, but couldn't find anything so I apologize if this has been answered.

We are about 3 weeks out and just realized that we are not sure how to differentiate between the 2 dinner options. We are having a sit down dinner with a meat and a seafood/chicken choice. RSVP cards were returned saying how many of each option the guests want, but we are not sure WHO wants what. 

We will be having escort cards but not an actual place card. Even if we had place cards, this wouldn't solve my problem. I originally was going to mark a card if steak was chosen (leaving chicken blank) but if Mr & Mrs. Smith rsvped 1 chicken 1 steak, I don't know who gets what. Escort cards will be given individually, 

Is there a way to solve this?? 

 

Re: Escort cards/dinner preference

  • At many weddings I've been to, the servers come around before anything is served and ask us if we would like wine, and what entree we requested.  That's always seemed very appropriate to me, and is probably what we will do.  We may also ask people to ID who is getting what on the RSVP cards, but many people don't actually read the cards well enough to specify, anyway.
  • Since I doubt you want to call up all your guests to figure out who is getting what, I would just have a server come around to each table and make note of who ordered what prior to service.

  • What I have experienced in the past and am worried about, is many people somehow forget what they ordered. Or people order steak and see the chicken and then go "oh I ordered the chicken!" because it looks good. I don't want to run out of one option because people who didn't actually order it say they did before the people who did order steak could get there meal but left with chicken because that's all that is left. 
  • stepana44 said:
    What I have experienced in the past and am worried about, is many people somehow forget what they ordered. Or people order steak and see the chicken and then go "oh I ordered the chicken!" because it looks good. I don't want to run out of one option because people who didn't actually order it say they did before the people who did order steak could get there meal but left with chicken because that's all that is left. 
    Then I suggest calling up all of your guests and trying to figure out who got what.  Caterers are pretty good about having extras for cases as you noted above though.

  • We put little colored dots on our escort cards, corresponding to the different meal choices and gave the venue a color key (red = chicken, green = vegetarian, etc.) along with our final count for meals.  I also included a list of how many of each meal would go to each table.  I think I got the dots at Staples.
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  • melbenso said:
    We put little colored dots on our escort cards, corresponding to the different meal choices and gave the venue a color key (red = chicken, green = vegetarian, etc.) along with our final count for meals.  I also included a list of how many of each meal would go to each table.  I think I got the dots at Staples.
    This is how we did it as well. The servers verified who had what if it was a couple and had chosen different options. NBD. The venue also must've made an extra meal in case someone changed their mind because we ended up with an extra chicken dinner at the end of the night, which was awesome. I really wouldn't worry about this too much.
  • Have you talked to your caterer about this?  Mine preferred to have a server confirm orders tableside before bringing out the meals.  Your caterer should have extra food on hand no matter what, so running out shouldn't be a huge concern.  Experienced caterers will also know what options tend to be most popular, second most, ect and plan accordingly.
  • edited October 2014
    I did my escort cards by couple, with little colored stamps for chicken, fish and veg. The waiters just asked which of the two of them had which entree as they were serving them. People might not remember the day of which they got, but it's a lot easier to narrow it down when your card says "you asked for one chicken and one fish."

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  • Ven&Radio said:
    Have you talked to your caterer about this?  Mine preferred to have a server confirm orders tableside before bringing out the meals.  Your caterer should have extra food on hand no matter what, so running out shouldn't be a huge concern.  Experienced caterers will also know what options tend to be most popular, second most, ect and plan accordingly.
    At almost every event where I had to provide a meal preference, there was always a confirmation (especially because in many cases although there are assigned tables there are not assigned seats, so the waiter always double checks). I also agree that the catereres tend to know the ordering curve and order appropriately. I would not be surprised if a priori they order 5-10 more of some of the items in anticipation that people "forget" or make a last minute change.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I did my escort cards by couple, with little colored stamps for chicken, fish and veg. The waiters just asked which of the two of them had which entree as they were serving them. People might not remember the day of which they got, but it's a lot easier to narrow it down when your card says "you asked for one chicken and one fish."
    This. 

    In your example, I presume Mr. and Mrs. Smith would be seated together at the same table. Since it sounds like you're assigning tables and not places (i.e. no place cards), just put Mr. and Mrs. Smith on the same escort card with "1 chicken; 1 steak" on the card. Ask the venue their preference on indicating this - whether it's a colored dot, a symbol, etc. and what would make it easiest for them. 

    So for Table 5, for example, you'd have 5 couples on 5 escort cards. Each escort card will have 2 entree selections, which you'll get from the RSVP card. When you give your list to your venue, you'll write "Table 5 - 6 chicken, 4 steak." Then when the server comes around to Table 5, s/he will walk up to Mr. and Mrs. Smith who have one orange and one blue dot (for example) on their escort card and say "I have one chicken/one steak - who ordered what?".
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  •  

    I did my escort cards by couple, with little colored stamps for chicken, fish and veg. The waiters just asked which of the two of them had which entree as they were serving them. People might not remember the day of which they got, but it's a lot easier to narrow it down when your card says "you asked for one chicken and one fish."


    This is how we did it too!!  We used different patterned hearts and colored coded them.  Then we handed the key to the catering company day of.  (In addition to sending the email counts with the color chossen).  We also did cards by couple and just put one stamp on each upper corner.  Once the servers came out with the entrees by table, then by guest, everyone got what they ordered.

    The caterer also had extras incase anyone changed their minds.  We ended up bringing home a few of these at the end of the reception.

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