I can't believe

levioosa

The blatant, sexist shit that people say sometimes.  It makes me so furious.  

Last night SO and I were driving to a friend's movie night with his brother.  I can't remember what topic we were on, but all of a sudden Brother says, "Women aren't as deep as men.  It's a statistical fact.  They're more shallow and guys are better at deep thinking.  I've read studies. "

WTF.  How do people even believe this shit?  I told him he was not only fucked up, but also completely wrong.  Then I asked him if he found this supposed "study" on yahoo, which made SO chuckle.  

As a counterpoint I tried to relate it to him/males. "It's like me saying that all men are horny assholes who only use women for sex and who can't help themselves when they take advantage of women sexually."  And then the motherfucker agreed with that statement!  What do you even do with someone like that?  

Anyways, I just needed to vent, because it made me pretty angry.  

larrygaga

Best thing you can take from this is that he is too stupid to bother talking to, and not worth your time. 

When people are that upfront about their thoughts, it makes it easy to weed out the losers.

sarawifenow

 

martha1818

Ugh, I feel you. I've learned to not even bother engaging with people like that (unless sometimes if I have a snarky one-liner at the ready;)), because they usually end up using whatever you say against you as a way to "prove their point." You can't really win.

thisismynickname2

Yeah.... NO. 

Makes me stabby just hearing about that. 

beethery

Ask him this:

"Would you say that women are shown statistically to be less violent as their genetic makeup largely controls their pre-disposition to expressing anger physically?"

and if he says yes, yell "YOU READ THE WRONG STUDY, DIPSHIT." and smack him one in the face.

climbingsingle

Ugh. I feel like I'm constantly coming into contact with sexist and bigoted things people say, and it drives me insane. Someone just this morning posted something on FB that pissed me off. 

Right. Except this is totally not true. If anything, my husband shops all over the store and I'm the one that hits up the exactly aisle I need and then leaves. 

I feel myself on the verge of a feminist rant. 

bethsmiles

What an asshole.

levioosa

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Ugh. I feel like I'm constantly coming into contact with sexist and bigoted things people say, and it drives me insane. Someone just this morning posted something on FB that pissed me off. 

Right. Except this is totally not true. If anything, my husband shops all over the store and I'm the one that hits up the exactly aisle I need and then leaves. 

I feel myself on the verge of a feminist rant. 

Ha!  The other day we went to Target for one thing.  Next thing I know we are leaving with a full shopping cart....that didn't include the one thing we came for.  Let's just say it wasn't me who took the full tour of Target excitedly.  

theartistformerlyknownas

Has the swelling in your hand gone down from punching him yet? You should be sure to ice it, alternating every 20 minutes.

levioosa

lolo883 said:

Has the swelling in your hand gone down from punching him yet? You should be sure to ice it, alternating every 20 minutes.

If I hadn't been driving I would have been so tempted to punch him.  As it was the shock almost made me hit the brakes on the freeway.  

VulgarGirl

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Right. Except this is totally not true. If anything, my husband shops all over the store and I'm the one that hits up the exactly aisle I need and then leaves. 

I feel myself on the verge of a feminist rant. 

FI is like you, and I'm like your husband. Usually because I get distracted. She's like "Oh, I need pants, where are the pants, oh here they are, these fit, ok I'm done" and I'm more "Oh I need pants, where are the pants, hey look these socks these are cute, oh is that a sale over there, OMG this purse is adorable, hey they sell candy I love candy, oh I need to get my mom a birthday present, but not from here, I need to go to that other place, oh wow is that a massage chair, now what did I come in here for again, oh look they have some cute pants...do I need pants?"...there are reasons I'm not allowed in Macy's alone.

FI has been told this is because she has a "man brain" and I have a "woman brain". I'm like no, she's a focused person. I have ADD.

@levioosa I'd be really tempted to say "So, SO, can you explain how your parents raised you to be not a misogynistic asshole? Since clearly your brother skipped that lesson" but I can be a real bitch.

KatieinBkln

Your SO's brother sucks. And I'm glad that your SO laughed at the Yahoo comment, but you can always let him know that in order to Level Up as a Lady Ally, he will have to start jumping in and saying things like, "That is completely fucked. Did you find paint chips to eat when we were kids? Because thanks for not sharing."

levioosa

KatieinBkln said:

Your SO's brother sucks. And I'm glad that your SO laughed at the Yahoo comment, but you can always let him know that in order to Level Up as a Lady Ally, he will have to start jumping in and saying things like, "That is completely fucked. Did you find paint chips to eat when we were kids? Because thanks for not sharing."

He definitely told his brother he was fucked up.  I think his brother was taken aback by how vehemently we both jumped at him.  Like somehow he thought we would both sit back and go, "Ah yes, the female psyche can be fragile and shallow.  You make a good point, Sir."

[Deleted User]

novella1186

I found a link to an "Article" when I was super bored called "what men really want from women" so I clicked, thinking it was going to be funny. It included things like "Don't talk when we're trying to watch sports. You need to learn to shut your mouth when it's obvious we don't want to hear from you" and "bring us food that's actually good. Learn how to cook for us," and "stay skinny for us" etc. I could not believe it. Some of it sounded straight-up abusive. 

Obviously it wasn't on a legitimate website, but what raged me out the most was the number of "likes" and "shares" it had gotten, so people out there were actually condoning that misogynistic bullshit.  It's disturbing. 

[Deleted User]

levioosa

pinkrevenge said:

novella1186 said:

I found a link to an "Article" when I was super bored called "what men really want from women" so I clicked, thinking it was going to be funny. It included things like "Don't talk when we're trying to watch sports. You need to learn to shut your mouth when it's obvious we don't want to hear from you" and "bring us food that's actually good. Learn how to cook for us," and "stay skinny for us" etc. I could not believe it. Some of it sounded straight-up abusive. 

Obviously it wasn't on a legitimate website, but what raged me out the most was the number of "likes" and "shares" it had gotten, so people out there were actually condoning that misogynistic bullshit.  It's disturbing. 

And they're also single and confused why women don't like them.

This is why reading internet article comments are bad.  It makes you lose faith in humanity.

climbingsingle

Oh - did you guys happen to see the Ray Rice Halloween costume pictures that are making the rounds? I think I saw the article on Gawker. Fucking disgusting. Yeah, domestic violence is hilarious! 

bethsmiles

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Oh - did you guys happen to see the Ray Rice Halloween costume pictures that are making the rounds? I think I saw the article on Gawker. Fucking disgusting. Yeah, domestic violence is hilarious! 

What the fuck is wrong with people?!

KatieinBkln

levioosa said:

KatieinBkln said:

Your SO's brother sucks. And I'm glad that your SO laughed at the Yahoo comment, but you can always let him know that in order to Level Up as a Lady Ally, he will have to start jumping in and saying things like, "That is completely fucked. Did you find paint chips to eat when we were kids? Because thanks for not sharing."

He definitely told his brother he was fucked up.  I think his brother was taken aback by how vehemently we both jumped at him.  Like somehow he thought we would both sit back and go, "Ah yes, the female psyche can be fragile and shallow.  You make a good point, Sir."

Your man gets an A at life. 

princessofgenovia

I'm having to take some deep cleansing breaths over here because I cannot handle this shit.

When FI and I started dating I laid it all out on the table for him, I'm a feminist, I'm bisexual, I'm pro-gay rights, despite my fairer skin I am Latina, I will not put up with any sexist, racist, misygonistic, homophobic bullshit even if it's "how all the guys talk". Clearly he was ok with all of this.

What I really can't stand, and makes me super ragey, is the casual sexism. Like what @ClimbingBrideNY posted. So many people I know would be all "that's not sexism, it's funny", no it's sexism. Just because someone isn't saying "Women are inferior" doesn't mean it's not sexism.

levioosa

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Oh - did you guys happen to see the Ray Rice Halloween costume pictures that are making the rounds? I think I saw the article on Gawker. Fucking disgusting. Yeah, domestic violence is hilarious! 

Kind of reminds me of the Chris Brown/Rhianna couples costumes.

Disgusting.  

raissyrais

Ugh absolutely disgusting although I feel super bad at people's such blatant ignorance. Next time just tell him his opinion will not be heeded/needed/asked/listened to if he ever spews out such bullshit.

martha1818

Oh, about the whole "casual sexism" thing- I also hate when this comes from other women. I've known so many women who have had the whole attitude of "I only have guy friends, I'm one of the cool girls, I can't be friends with women they're so catty!" It frustrates me so much!

princessofgenovia

martha1818 said:

Oh, about the whole "casual sexism" thing- I also hate when this comes from other women. I've known so many women who have had the whole attitude of "I only have guy friends, I'm one of the cool girls, I can't be friends with women they're so catty!" It frustrates me so much!

Yes this! So much this!

I actually do have more guy friends then girl friends. Why? I seriously do not know. In high school I had more girl friends then guy friends. I never think much about it. I just like my friends.

novella1186

martha1818 said:

Oh, about the whole "casual sexism" thing- I also hate when this comes from other women. I've known so many women who have had the whole attitude of "I only have guy friends, I'm one of the cool girls, I can't be friends with women they're so catty!" It frustrates me so much!

I had a girl friend from high school/college who started dating a guy who was the most obnoxious, rude, misogynistic douche I'd ever met. I had always thought of this chick as smart and independent, seemed to have her shit together, but when the guy was around she would purposely act really dumb. I would call her out and ask why she was pretending to not know things she clearly knew, and she would just tilt her head at me and play even dumber. He would seriously say to her, "don't worry your pretty little head about it" and she would just smile contentedly at him when he said this. They ended up getting married and I was "too busy" to make it to the wedding. I just couldn't watch that train wreck.  And I pretty much lost contact with her right after that. 

Every so often I'd see a facebook post where douche was referring to her as his trophy wife, and talking about how pretty she is, which is nice that he compliments her appearance but he also completely stuck with the attitude that he's the big strong man and she's the delicate simpering fool. 

Ugh. Just so gross to me when girls feed the stereotypes themselves. What are you doing?!!! 

ETF: words. 

martha1818

novella1186 said:

I had a girl friend from high school/college who started dating a guy who was the most obnoxious, rude, misogynistic douche I'd ever met. I had always thought of this chick as smart and independent, seemed to have her shit together, but when the guy was around she would purposely act really dumb. I would call her out and ask why she was pretending to not know things she clearly knew, and she would just tilt her head at me and play even dumber. He would seriously say to her, "don't worry your pretty little head about it" and she would just smile contentedly at him when he said this. They ended up getting married and I was "too busy" to make it to the wedding. I just couldn't watch that train wreck.  And I pretty much lost contact with her right after that. 

Every so often I'd see a facebook post where douche was referring to her as his trophy wife, and talking about how pretty she is, which is nice that he compliments her appearance but he also completely stuck with the attitude that he's the big strong man and she's the delicate simpering fool. 

Ugh. Just so gross to me when girls feed the stereotypes themselves. What are you doing?!!! 

ETF: words. 

Wow, I don't blame you for not wanting to go to the wedding! How frustrating to have seen that happen. I hate when women feel the need to label themselves in order to be accepted by society- ie playing dumb, being the laid back/cool one, etc. Just own who you are FFS.

levioosa

novella1186 said:

martha1818 said:

Oh, about the whole "casual sexism" thing- I also hate when this comes from other women. I've known so many women who have had the whole attitude of "I only have guy friends, I'm one of the cool girls, I can't be friends with women they're so catty!" It frustrates me so much!

I had a girl friend from high school/college who started dating a guy who was the most obnoxious, rude, misogynistic douche I'd ever met. I had always thought of this chick as smart and independent, seemed to have her shit together, but when the guy was around she would purposely act really dumb. I would call her out and ask why she was pretending to not know things she clearly knew, and she would just tilt her head at me and play even dumber. He would seriously say to her, "don't worry your pretty little head about it" and she would just smile contentedly at him when he said this. They ended up getting married and I was "too busy" to make it to the wedding. I just couldn't watch that train wreck.  And I pretty much lost contact with her right after that. 

Every so often I'd see a facebook post where douche was referring to her as his trophy wife, and talking about how pretty she is, which is nice that he compliments her appearance but he also completely stuck with the attitude that he's the big strong man and she's the delicate simpering fool. 

Ugh. Just so gross to me when girls feed the stereotypes themselves. What are you doing?!!! 

ETF: words. 

I had a friend who dated a guy that demanded she always have her fake nails done, that she constantly wear makeup, and that she in general looked "hott" for him.  He told her she was there to make him look good.  Luckily they broke up, but it still took almost a year.  

novella1186

levioosa said:

novella1186 said:

martha1818 said:

Oh, about the whole "casual sexism" thing- I also hate when this comes from other women. I've known so many women who have had the whole attitude of "I only have guy friends, I'm one of the cool girls, I can't be friends with women they're so catty!" It frustrates me so much!

I had a girl friend from high school/college who started dating a guy who was the most obnoxious, rude, misogynistic douche I'd ever met. I had always thought of this chick as smart and independent, seemed to have her shit together, but when the guy was around she would purposely act really dumb. I would call her out and ask why she was pretending to not know things she clearly knew, and she would just tilt her head at me and play even dumber. He would seriously say to her, "don't worry your pretty little head about it" and she would just smile contentedly at him when he said this. They ended up getting married and I was "too busy" to make it to the wedding. I just couldn't watch that train wreck.  And I pretty much lost contact with her right after that. 

Every so often I'd see a facebook post where douche was referring to her as his trophy wife, and talking about how pretty she is, which is nice that he compliments her appearance but he also completely stuck with the attitude that he's the big strong man and she's the delicate simpering fool. 

Ugh. Just so gross to me when girls feed the stereotypes themselves. What are you doing?!!! 

ETF: words. 

I had a friend who dated a guy that demanded she always have her fake nails done, that she constantly wear makeup, and that she in general looked "hott" for him.  He told her she was there to make him look good.  Luckily they broke up, but it still took almost a year.  

Ugh! That is so so so gross. One of the reasons I love FI so much is because I stayed home from work sick one day (really just super tired more than sick) and when he came home I know I looked disgusting. I hadn't showered or even brushed my hair, and for some reason I felt like I had to apologize to him for being so gross. He grabbed my shoulders, looked me in the eyes, and said "babe, that's silly. You're beautiful no matter what! I love when you don't have make-up on." Score major points for FI on that one. 

His mama obviously raised him right! Yep, and his dad raised him right too, cuz in the spirit of equality  

HaileyDancingbear

levioosa said:

The blatant, sexist shit that people say sometimes.  It makes me so furious.  

Last night SO and I were driving to a friend's movie night with his brother.  I can't remember what topic we were on, but all of a sudden Brother says, "Women aren't as deep as men.  It's a statistical fact.  They're more shallow and guys are better at deep thinking.  I've read studies. "

WTF.  How do people even believe this shit?  I told him he was not only fucked up, but also completely wrong.  Then I asked him if he found this supposed "study" on yahoo, which made SO chuckle.  

As a counterpoint I tried to relate it to him/males. "It's like me saying that all men are horny assholes who only use women for sex and who can't help themselves when they take advantage of women sexually."  And then the motherfucker agreed with that statement!  What do you even do with someone like that?  

Anyways, I just needed to vent, because it made me pretty angry.  

I HATE people like your SO's brother who actually believe that to be true.  I HATE HATE HATE HATE them with a burning passion.  HOW DARE THEY just pass off something as serious as rape and abuse as "Well we can't help it, we're MEN!"  WELL THEN LET'S LOCK YOU IN A FUCKING CAGE LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL IF YOU "CAN'T HELP YOURSELF" BECAUSE CLEARLY YOU'RE NOT FIT TO BE PART OF A CIVILIZED FUCKING SOCIETY.  

Not only that, it's a stupid ball of bullshit these people use to SEEM like they side with the victim, saying "Oh yeah all men suck sorry that happened to you" while STILL placing all of the blame on the victim for not knowing that she shouldn't trust men.  Because they want to pretend to be the fucking "nice guy" without having to stop victim-blaming.  Because GOD FORBID something bad happen to a woman and it isn't her fault!!!  

AND THEN THESE SAME FUCKERS GET UPSET WHEN THEY HIT ON A NEW WOMAN AND SHE DOESN'T FUCKING TRUST THEM- MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T CONSTANTLY TELL US THAT ALL MEN ARE FUCKING MONSTERS THAT WILL RAPE US BECAUSE THEY CAN'T POSSIBLY CONTROL THEMSELVES, AND TRUSTING A MAN MAKES THE RAPE OUR FAULT, WE WOULDN'T BE SO FUCKING AFRAID TO TRUST MEN. 

DONT EVEN GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON THE WHOLE "WOMEN ARE SHALLOW AND WHINY" BULLSHIT.  I WILL CAPS LOCK ALL FUCKING DAY.  

ETA:  FI has an equal hatred for these fuckers because it's also extremely insulting to men like FI-  FI is not a fucking psychopath that thinks rape is ok, he is not a fucking animal that can't control himself, he does not need to be locked in a fucking cage- so he finds it absolutely disgusting and insanely degrading when people lump him in with those fucking piece of shit rapists just because he happens to be the same gender.  Fuck boys will be boys.  FI doesn't fucking act like that and does not deserve that fucking stigma just because of his gender.