Is it time to exorcise the demon?

novella1186

lol sorry about the title but Halloween. 

Here's the deal. My sister went crazy at my E party (screamed some horrible, nasty things at me and never explained what she was so upset about) and hasn't spoken to me in 4 months (I posted about this back in July). She was supposed to be my MOH. I'm way past the point of expecting or even wanting an apology at this point, and I don't think I'll ever get a real answer on why she blew up like that. 

By now, I honestly thought the whole thing would blow over but instead she's perpetuating it. She told my mom that I blocked members of my family from facebook in order to post nasty things about them and nasty things about my mom. No part of this is true whatsoever. I have no idea what her motivation was for lying about this, but it hurt my mom's feelings which just makes me angry. She's been calling my parents and telling them that I'm horrible and owe her an apology, but won't even explain to them what I did. And she's been nasty to FI, who's always been nice to her even though he's not fond of her, which again just makes me angry. 

At first I thought things would go back to normal so I didn't worry about the issue of "kicking her out" of the bridal party. Like I said, I thought this would all just blow over, so I didn't want to make any rash decisions. After months went by and she still wouldn't talk to me, I thought maybe she would just remove herself from the bridal party. My cousin who I'm close with thinks my sister was just lashing out at me out of jealously, because she's older than me and not married, and also because when we were growing up she could never handle seeing me get positive attention for anything. (This cousin is the one who originally called this issue "exorcising the demon" cuz she knows my sister has quite a terrifying mean streak). This cousin and my best friend who I've confided in about this (and who also knows my sister well) have warned me that she's going to act out on the wedding day too and try her best to ruin it for me in one way or another. I guess we'll see how that plays out. 

By now the situation has become sad, embarrassing, and awkward. My mom, the other BMs, and even my FI's mom have asked if my sister is still in the bridal party and I don't know what to say. Does she even want to be? Do I want her to be? I feel like after the hateful things she said, the lies she's been telling, and how she's treated FI I really don't want her standing next to me on my wedding day. 

If I kick her out, it just gives her more fuel to run around crying that she's the victim and I'm terrible. But after the way she's acted and the things she said, if it were any other person, that person would be out of my life for good. Wedding aside, the things she's said really fucking hurt. The lies, her manipulating my parents, and not knowing why she's being this way just makes it worse. 

I'm ready to move forward and get rid of this dark cloud. And I'm sick of not knowing whether or not I even have an MOH. I would kind of like to cut the ties and get her out of the wedding party, but I don't want to create a worse situation. The things she's done and said have already caused huge rifts between my mom and I, and we're usually super close. It's just been a total mess. 

What would you do? 

princessleia22

I would probably arrange to meet up with her in person, maybe at parents house so it's neutral ground, and bring the whole thing to light. I'd avoid doing it in public, since it could turn into an ugly situation. Ask her to her face what is going on, why the anger toward you, whether she wants to try to repair the relationship, if she even wants to be in the wedding?  Tell her straight up how she's hurt you. It would at least get everything in the open. And you would know where you both stand.  If it goes bad and nothing gets resolved between you, at least you would know about the wedding and know that you tried.

flyingfoxes

Ugh - I hate hearing about people like this!  I probably would have the unpopular opinion though to drop her from the wedding party.  It sounds as though she's going to do something nasty at the wedding - would you be able to have her barred from coming?

novella1186

princessleia22 said:

I would probably arrange to meet up with her in person, maybe at parents house so it's neutral ground, and bring the whole thing to light. I'd avoid doing it in public, since it could turn into an ugly situation. Ask her to her face what is going on, why the anger toward you, whether she wants to try to repair the relationship, if she even wants to be in the wedding?  Tell her straight up how she's hurt you. It would at least get everything in the open. And you would know where you both stand.  If it goes bad and nothing gets resolved between you, at least you would know about the wedding and know that you tried.

One of the problems is that she lives in a different state. So meeting up in person may not be an option, unless we happen to both travel to my parents' house on the same days over the holidays, but I don't really want to fight it out with her over Christmas, for everyone's sake. 

novella1186

mobride2015 said:

Ugh - I hate hearing about people like this!  I probably would have the unpopular opinion though to drop her from the wedding party.  It sounds as though she's going to do something nasty at the wedding - would you be able to have her barred from coming?

I told my mom that I would prefer it if she was not invited to my bridal shower just because of how tense the situation is and how bad she made me feel. And not to sound like a spoiled selfish brat, but I'd like the bridal shower to just be about me and the wedding and my FI, and not turn into the Crazy Sister Show the way our engagement party did. I just want to have a fun event, ya know? But when I said this, my mom LOST IT and screamed that she would cancel my shower, or make sure that no one comes. I think she was lashing out cuz she's super hurt to see my sister and I fighting so bad, but that was another totally insane situation that was spawned from the original insane situation. Not to mention, to hear my own mother say she would make sure no one comes to my shower kind of ripped my heart out. 

BrandNewJ

I'm pretty sure I'm going to have the unpopular opinion here, but I think you should keep her I and if she doesn't show in the dress, then she's out. Whatever the reason she's lashing out at you, what I've taken away from all your posts, is that you truly are the bigger person. Don't let that streak stop now. Let her make the decision. 

larrygaga

 Are you really sure you don't know what you did to upset her so?

I often find that when I have a huge blow up with one of my sisters, or if it happens between two other sisters, usually one of them says they didn't do anything wrong, and upon reflection they actually did and didn't want to face it. Multiple times I've done something to a sister without thinking about it and having it blow up in my face, and claim that I haven't done anything wrong. If I sit and think and think about it, I can usually figure out why shes mad. 

I would say do anything you can to fix this with her. If it doesn't work, at least you tried and you will never wonder what would have happened if you didn't try.  Family is always the most important thing IMO. Friends can come and go, men can come and go but family is forever.

If you really don't think your sister or mom can handle this shower without screaming drama, cancel the shower. Just don't have one. Don't go down that road.

martha1818

I remember your original post about this! Sorry you're still dealing with this. I have some family members with similar personalities/behavior. Honestly, what are you gaining from having her in your WP still? I know it's against etiquette, but this isn't a case of you being a bridezilla and kicking someone out for selfish reasons. It sounds like she's been pretty horrible to you- do you really want someone like that standing next to you as you take a major step in your life, family or not?

simcal18

novella1186 said:

lol sorry about the title but Halloween. 

Here's the deal. My sister went crazy at my E party (screamed some horrible, nasty things at me and never explained what she was so upset about) and hasn't spoken to me in 4 months (I posted about this back in July). She was supposed to be my MOH. I'm way past the point of expecting or even wanting an apology at this point, and I don't think I'll ever get a real answer on why she blew up like that. 

By now, I honestly thought the whole thing would blow over but instead she's perpetuating it. She told my mom that I blocked members of my family from facebook in order to post nasty things about them and nasty things about my mom. No part of this is true whatsoever. I have no idea what her motivation was for lying about this, but it hurt my mom's feelings which just makes me angry. She's been calling my parents and telling them that I'm horrible and owe her an apology, but won't even explain to them what I did. And she's been nasty to FI, who's always been nice to her even though he's not fond of her, which again just makes me angry. 

At first I thought things would go back to normal so I didn't worry about the issue of "kicking her out" of the bridal party. Like I said, I thought this would all just blow over, so I didn't want to make any rash decisions. After months went by and she still wouldn't talk to me, I thought maybe she would just remove herself from the bridal party. My cousin who I'm close with thinks my sister was just lashing out at me out of jealously, because she's older than me and not married, and also because when we were growing up she could never handle seeing me get positive attention for anything. (This cousin is the one who originally called this issue "exorcising the demon" cuz she knows my sister has quite a terrifying mean streak). This cousin and my best friend who I've confided in about this (and who also knows my sister well) have warned me that she's going to act out on the wedding day too and try her best to ruin it for me in one way or another. I guess we'll see how that plays out. 

By now the situation has become sad, embarrassing, and awkward. My mom, the other BMs, and even my FI's mom have asked if my sister is still in the bridal party and I don't know what to say. Does she even want to be? Do I want her to be? I feel like after the hateful things she said, the lies she's been telling, and how she's treated FI I really don't want her standing next to me on my wedding day. 

If I kick her out, it just gives her more fuel to run around crying that she's the victim and I'm terrible. But after the way she's acted and the things she said, if it were any other person, that person would be out of my life for good. Wedding aside, the things she's said really fucking hurt. The lies, her manipulating my parents, and not knowing why she's being this way just makes it worse. 

I'm ready to move forward and get rid of this dark cloud. And I'm sick of not knowing whether or not I even have an MOH. I would kind of like to cut the ties and get her out of the wedding party, but I don't want to create a worse situation. The things she's done and said have already caused huge rifts between my mom and I, and we're usually super close. It's just been a total mess. 

What would you do? 

Did you perhaps compare some relatively minor transgression of hers to the holocaust or female genital mutilation?

martha1818

bostonbride2015 said:

lol sorry about the title but Halloween. 

Here's the deal. My sister went crazy at my E party (screamed some horrible, nasty things at me and never explained what she was so upset about) and hasn't spoken to me in 4 months (I posted about this back in July). She was supposed to be my MOH. I'm way past the point of expecting or even wanting an apology at this point, and I don't think I'll ever get a real answer on why she blew up like that. 

By now, I honestly thought the whole thing would blow over but instead she's perpetuating it. She told my mom that I blocked members of my family from facebook in order to post nasty things about them and nasty things about my mom. No part of this is true whatsoever. I have no idea what her motivation was for lying about this, but it hurt my mom's feelings which just makes me angry. She's been calling my parents and telling them that I'm horrible and owe her an apology, but won't even explain to them what I did. And she's been nasty to FI, who's always been nice to her even though he's not fond of her, which again just makes me angry. 

At first I thought things would go back to normal so I didn't worry about the issue of "kicking her out" of the bridal party. Like I said, I thought this would all just blow over, so I didn't want to make any rash decisions. After months went by and she still wouldn't talk to me, I thought maybe she would just remove herself from the bridal party. My cousin who I'm close with thinks my sister was just lashing out at me out of jealously, because she's older than me and not married, and also because when we were growing up she could never handle seeing me get positive attention for anything. (This cousin is the one who originally called this issue "exorcising the demon" cuz she knows my sister has quite a terrifying mean streak). This cousin and my best friend who I've confided in about this (and who also knows my sister well) have warned me that she's going to act out on the wedding day too and try her best to ruin it for me in one way or another. I guess we'll see how that plays out. 

By now the situation has become sad, embarrassing, and awkward. My mom, the other BMs, and even my FI's mom have asked if my sister is still in the bridal party and I don't know what to say. Does she even want to be? Do I want her to be? I feel like after the hateful things she said, the lies she's been telling, and how she's treated FI I really don't want her standing next to me on my wedding day. 

If I kick her out, it just gives her more fuel to run around crying that she's the victim and I'm terrible. But after the way she's acted and the things she said, if it were any other person, that person would be out of my life for good. Wedding aside, the things she's said really fucking hurt. The lies, her manipulating my parents, and not knowing why she's being this way just makes it worse. 

I'm ready to move forward and get rid of this dark cloud. And I'm sick of not knowing whether or not I even have an MOH. I would kind of like to cut the ties and get her out of the wedding party, but I don't want to create a worse situation. The things she's done and said have already caused huge rifts between my mom and I, and we're usually super close. It's just been a total mess. 

What would you do? 

Did you perhaps compare some relatively minor transgression of hers to the holocaust or female genital mutilation?

Seriously? I thought using poster's other posts against them like this is against TOS? Not trying to be a tattle-tale, but this is immature IMO.

novella1186

bostonbride2015 that has nothing to do with this thread. If your only goal is to be nasty, take it elsewhere. 

esstee33

I think you need to consider whether or not you actually want her as part of your life, not just your bridal party. I know everyone says "family is forever" and all that, but it's not always. Granted, I'm coming from a position of having cut my mom & sister out of my life, and by extension I've lost relationships with almost that entire side of my family, but dealing with someone being abusive and manipulative is an exception in my mind. 

novella1186

esstee33 said:

I think you need to consider whether or not you actually want her as part of your life, not just your bridal party. I know everyone says "family is forever" and all that, but it's not always. Granted, I'm coming from a position of having cut my mom & sister out of my life, and by extension I've lost relationships with almost that entire side of my family, but dealing with someone being abusive and manipulative is an exception in my mind. 

That's probably the toughest part for me. I try to think about the overall situation without any relation to the wedding, or without the wedding being a factor. That's why I mentioned that if she were any other person, I'd cut her out of my life. Since she's my sister, it's not such an easy answer. Do I want to keep her in my life when I know her true colors aren't always the greatest thing and she's always have that mean streak? But also, do I want to cut out the only sister I have? Either way, it kind of sucks  

esstee33

novella1186 said:

esstee33 said:

I think you need to consider whether or not you actually want her as part of your life, not just your bridal party. I know everyone says "family is forever" and all that, but it's not always. Granted, I'm coming from a position of having cut my mom & sister out of my life, and by extension I've lost relationships with almost that entire side of my family, but dealing with someone being abusive and manipulative is an exception in my mind. 

That's probably the toughest part for me. I try to think about the overall situation without any relation to the wedding, or without the wedding being a factor. That's why I mentioned that if she were any other person, I'd cut her out of my life. Since she's my sister, it's not such an easy answer. Do I want to keep her in my life when I know her true colors aren't always the greatest thing and she's always have that mean streak? But also, do I want to cut out the only sister I have? Either way, it kind of sucks  

I think if your engagement party and surrounding wedding festivities brought this level of badness out in her, the real issue is probably wedding-related. She may not even be able to verbalize what it is. Or she may know what it is and just not WANT to verbalize it. 

If you're not ready to sit down and have a very serious conversation with her about the way she's treating you and how it's damaging your relationship, which is what you really need to do, then all you can do is just let things play out. If you kick her out, you're going to face her increased anger, your mom's anger, more drama regarding your shower and everything else, etc. If you don't, and she's nasty to you at your shower, she's the one who looks like an asshole, not you. Tell her what dress to get, and then just see if she shows up when she's supposed to. 

I think you risk more by cutting her out than just letting things happen as they will. 

CrazyCatLady3

I think kicking her out at this point is justified.  Tell her that despite your hopes, you guys can't seem to get along and you don't want to deal with any drama at the wedding.

novella1186

larrygaga said:

 Are you really sure you don't know what you did to upset her so?

I often find that when I have a huge blow up with one of my sisters, or if it happens between two other sisters, usually one of them says they didn't do anything wrong, and upon reflection they actually did and didn't want to face it. Multiple times I've done something to a sister without thinking about it and having it blow up in my face, and claim that I haven't done anything wrong. If I sit and think and think about it, I can usually figure out why shes mad. 

I would say do anything you can to fix this with her. If it doesn't work, at least you tried and you will never wonder what would have happened if you didn't try.  Family is always the most important thing IMO. Friends can come and go, men can come and go but family is forever.

If you really don't think your sister or mom can handle this shower without screaming drama, cancel the shower. Just don't have one. Don't go down that road.

I'm sure I did something wrong, or else she wouldn't STILL be upset and continuing to say things about me. But for her to be mad at me at this level, and to have dragged it out to this extent, I feel like whatever I did should be HUGE to justify her extreme reaction. (or at least be significant). If I did something huge, though, I'd know it. Or someone would know it. She would have gone to my parents or someone and said "omg you won't believe what Novella did to me" or she would have called me out right at the moment I did something wrong, because she's definitely the type of person to do that. 

The most frustrating part of all of it is not understanding what I even did. Is she pissed that I'm getting married, is she jealous (as my best friend and cousin think, and my mom has some suspicions towards this too), did I say the wrong thing, did I offend her somehow, is there some misunderstanding that happened... what? I have been thinking long and hard, from the day the blow-up happened, and not that I'm miss perfect but I can't think of one solid thing like "yes, that's a thing I did that pissed her off!" Like I said, she would have called me out on the spot. I feel like she was internalizing something, or maybe a lot of little things, and then they erupted. My mom also thinks that things are going wrong in her personal life that she won't talk about and she's projecting all of that onto me to give her someone to blame, so that she doesn't have to face her own regrets or whatever. Some pretty complicated shit. 

esstee33

I would bet cash dollars that her personal life sucks and she's pissed that yours doesn't. 

[Deleted User]

novella1186

pinkrevenge said:

I'm more pissed at your mom than your sister - way to show which tree that apple fell from.

Yeah this whole thing has been crazy and has created plenty of mini fights and side drama. That's why I think I'm just done with all of it and I need some kind of finality. If she still won't talk to me then fine, but then I need to know that she's out of my wedding party so I can proceed with whatever plans are next. Or if she'll talk to me and tell me what I did wrong, then great! I can apologize and we can all move on with our lives. I've seriously never had a fight drag out like this, especially with my sister. 

pinkcow13

Since you guys live in different states, can you send her an email explaining that you want to rectify the relationship with her, and want to know what you may have done that has her so upset? I think at this point, though, if she still decides to blow up or ignore you, the best course would be to kick her out. Although, from the sounds of it, she's not even communicating with you, so as it stands she probably feels that she is no longer in your wedding.

She definitely sounds like she is jealous, but she has taken her jealousy to another level. 

HaileyDancingbear

Exorcize the demon.  I believe very strongly in the fact that life is way too short to waste it on people who do nothing but make you miserable.  I don't care who they are, or how long they've been around, if they can't handle the concept of treating you like a human being and showing even the slightest bit of decent to you and those around you, then fuck them, they can go be awful elsewhere. 

In your shoes I'd have kicked her out and stopped caring about wether or not she ever contacted me again a long time ago.  When you look around you tend to find that you have plenty of people in your life that love you and make you happy.  You don't need to waste time trying to win over people who don't.  And when asked about any new rumors she's spreading, or any new horrible things, I'd just flat out say "I haven't spoken to her in ___ weeks/months/years so this is news to me." Then bean dip.  Don't even waste too much time trying to explain yourself.  

sorrynotsorry, if she wants people in her life she needs to act like a fucking adult.  And fuck jealousy and insecurities as an excuse for her behavior- I could write novels on the insecurities I went through growing up.  At no point did I allow that to be an excuse for treating other people like shit.  Even when I hated myself and thought pretty much any girl on the planet was better than me I was still fucking nice to people.  Insecurity isn't a good enough excuse, she needs to grow the fuck up.

[Deleted User]

themosthappy91

Maybe I overlooked this but does your mom know that you're considering kicking your sister out of the wedding party?  The reason I ask is, if she flipped out at just the mention of not inviting your sister to the shower I would be worried about her reaction to you asking your sister to step down as MOH.

I think that if you do want to kick your sister out (which IMO is completely understandable at this point!) you need to move forward with the full understanding of the rest of your family (at least the ones who are aware of this situation already, like your parents).  I think your parents should know ahead of time what you plan to say to your sister and why you decided to say it, and if it were me I would want some sort of indication of support from them for what you are doing... just to avoid the whole sister running to them and getting them riled up situation.  I have to ask, why are they even still indulging her at this point with that kind of behavior?  If you really are as blameless as you say you are (and I'm inclined to believe you are), why haven't your parents firmly taken your side with her and told her she's completely out of line?   

climbingsingle

I'm sorry you're still dealing with this! If it was me, I'd figure out a way to meet with her in person to figure out what is causing all of this.

harriet emily

I'd definitely keep her in the bridal party. Like you said, you don't want all of this to turn into the Crazy Sister Show. The consequences of kicking her out would be much worse than keeping her in. Always be the bigger person! 

banana468

I'd keep her in but I'd also have a long chat with my parents. They're major enablers here and I'd call major bullshit on how they're handling things. That may be a post wedding conversation though.

novella1186

themosthappy91 said:

Maybe I overlooked this but does your mom know that you're considering kicking your sister out of the wedding party?  The reason I ask is, if she flipped out at just the mention of not inviting your sister to the shower I would be worried about her reaction to you asking your sister to step down as MOH.

I think that if you do want to kick your sister out (which IMO is completely understandable at this point!) you need to move forward with the full understanding of the rest of your family (at least the ones who are aware of this situation already, like your parents).  I think your parents should know ahead of time what you plan to say to your sister and why you decided to say it, and if it were me I would want some sort of indication of support from them for what you are doing... just to avoid the whole sister running to them and getting them riled up situation.  I have to ask, why are they even still indulging her at this point with that kind of behavior?  If you really are as blameless as you say you are (and I'm inclined to believe you are), why haven't your parents firmly taken your side with her and told her she's completely out of line?   

To the first bolded, the odd thing is that my mom asked me the other day if I was inviting my sister to the wedding. Of course I am. No matter how nasty she's being, she's my sister and I think it would be a bit too cold-hearted to not invite her at all. So based on that question, maybe at this point she expects my sister not to be in the bridal party anymore? I don't know. But I think you have a really good idea, to talk to them first, so my sister can't run to them and start more drama. 

The second bolded: they've always let her get away with things and have always indulged her. I said in a different thread a while back that they paid for her to go to Europe and she racked up $10,000 in credit card debt that she couldn't pay. So then they hired a lawyer and paid for the lawyer to have her debt dismissed. Then they paid for her to go to Europe again. I once had $500 in credit card debt, which I paid off with my own money, and my dad acted like I was the worst, dumbest person on earth for racking up that amount. My aunt thinks it's because they "expect more" from me, so they're harder on me. Who knows. And for the record, my parents have never paid for me to go to Europe. I've gone once, and was proud of myself for paying my own way with money I had been saving for years. When I asked my dad if FI and I could possibly use some of his airline miles for our honeymoon (cuz he kept telling my sister that he had way too many airline miles and needed to use them so if she ever wanted to go somewhere to just let him know) he literally laughed in my face. Laughed. In my face. So we saved our own money and we're planning an awesome honeymoon without the airline miles. Now my mom is claiming he wants to give them to us. So you see, there is a whole weird fucked up family dynamic going on here that I have zero understanding of. 

To the last bolded, at the engagement party they pulled her aside and both told her that she was way out of line and owed me an apology. A few days went by and they told her again that she needed to apologize. She admitted that what she did was wrong and told them she was afraid I would never forgive her, and she needed to give me time to cool off. (This was all coming from her). A few weeks went by, and my parents decided they had made it clear to her that she was wrong, and she apparently knew she was wrong and regretted what she did, so now they were going to leave it alone and try to stay neutral, and leave it up to her and I to work things out. A few months went by, and somehow the story flipped, and I was the bad one who had done a terrible thing and owed my sister an apology, and she owed me no apology at all, and because she was "so hurt" my parents were then telling me that I had better apologize to her. That's where we're at now, and they're still claiming to be staying neutral. 

larrygaga

novella1186 said:

bostonbride2015 that has nothing to do with this thread. If your only goal is to be nasty, take it elsewhere. 

novella1186 said:

larrygaga said:

 Are you really sure you don't know what you did to upset her so?

I often find that when I have a huge blow up with one of my sisters, or if it happens between two other sisters, usually one of them says they didn't do anything wrong, and upon reflection they actually did and didn't want to face it. Multiple times I've done something to a sister without thinking about it and having it blow up in my face, and claim that I haven't done anything wrong. If I sit and think and think about it, I can usually figure out why shes mad. 

I would say do anything you can to fix this with her. If it doesn't work, at least you tried and you will never wonder what would have happened if you didn't try.  Family is always the most important thing IMO. Friends can come and go, men can come and go but family is forever.

If you really don't think your sister or mom can handle this shower without screaming drama, cancel the shower. Just don't have one. Don't go down that road.

I'm sure I did something wrong, or else she wouldn't STILL be upset and continuing to say things about me. But for her to be mad at me at this level, and to have dragged it out to this extent, I feel like whatever I did should be HUGE to justify her extreme reaction. (or at least be significant). If I did something huge, though, I'd know it. Or someone would know it. She would have gone to my parents or someone and said "omg you won't believe what Novella did to me" or she would have called me out right at the moment I did something wrong, because she's definitely the type of person to do that. 

The most frustrating part of all of it is not understanding what I even did. Is she pissed that I'm getting married, is she jealous (as my best friend and cousin think, and my mom has some suspicions towards this too), did I say the wrong thing, did I offend her somehow, is there some misunderstanding that happened... what? I have been thinking long and hard, from the day the blow-up happened, and not that I'm miss perfect but I can't think of one solid thing like "yes, that's a thing I did that pissed her off!" Like I said, she would have called me out on the spot. I feel like she was internalizing something, or maybe a lot of little things, and then they erupted. My mom also thinks that things are going wrong in her personal life that she won't talk about and she's projecting all of that onto me to give her someone to blame, so that she doesn't have to face her own regrets or whatever. Some pretty complicated shit. 

When I first read this, I figured she was jealous. Never hurts to do a little soul searching. I have a very difficult sister too, and I feel ya. Just because she is jealous doesn't mean she gets to treat you like that!

novella1186

Just read back through some of this and I feel like we should all be seeing Dr Phil or something. lol. Thanks for the advice, everyone. After reading some of your comments I feel like the MOH thing isn't my real issue... it's finding a way to end the fight with my sister, whether that means we just call a truce or whatever. It's gone too far. 

[Deleted User]

holyguacamole79

Forgive me if I missed this ,.. When is your wedding, OP?