Wedding Etiquette Forum

Possible Rehearsal Gap: What to do?

Hi everyone!
I need some advice because I do not want to be *too* rude.

I am getting married in Disney World in February. In lieu of a rehearsal dinner, we are hosting a fireworks dessert party for our wedding party and close family. It's pretty spectacular and very unique to Disney. We have already booked and paid for this party. 

However....

I just found out we can not book our actual "rehearsal" until 30 days out. This is because of competing events and venues. So there is a possibility that our actual rehearsal will be in the morning while the dessert party is in the evening. I have to lock in the dessert party now. Basically this ties my hands as any post-rehearsal event could be be at the "wrong time" so to speak.

So:
Is it rude to have a possible gap between the rehearsal and the dessert party? If so, how would you fix this?
Thanks
Sioux   

Re: Possible Rehearsal Gap: What to do?

  • I'd make sure you host what's appropriate for the time of day after the rehearsal. It can be casual and lower cost but I'd consider the dessert to be an extra.
  • Hmm, tricky. Some options:

    1) Can you change the time of your rehearsal to right before the dessert thing? If it's an issue of the venue not being available, do you have to have your rehearsal at the venue or could people just gather somewhere else and do a quick run-through? That way they're being hosted directly after.

    2) If you can't change the rehearsal time and it has to be at your ceremony venue, can you host something cheap like pizza and soda, or sandwiches, directly after? Then, as @banana468 suggested, the dessert party is a bonus?

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  • Hmm, tricky. Some options:

    1) Can you change the time of your rehearsal to right before the dessert thing? If it's an issue of the venue not being available, do you have to have your rehearsal at the venue or could people just gather somewhere else and do a quick run-through? That way they're being hosted directly after.

    2) If you can't change the rehearsal time and it has to be at your ceremony venue, can you host something cheap like pizza and soda, or sandwiches, directly after? Then, as @banana468 suggested, the dessert party is a bonus?

    1.) I really have no control over when the rehearsal is, unfortunately. I guess if they came back with "oh it's 8:00 am or nothing" I could request a rehearsal in an alternative location to mine (an outdoor gazebo on property.

    2.) Regarding #2, hosting something cheaper would be fine, except venue space. Renting out any kind of venue in Disney is pricey, and we have about 30 people attending the rehearsal so going somewhere on property is out of question. Not everyone will be with their own transportation so going off property would also be tricky. 

    Hmmmmmmmm......
  • Could you have the rehearsal in your hotel room or something? That way you don't actually have to rent out a space at their designated time.
  • banana468 said:
    I'd make sure you host what's appropriate for the time of day after the rehearsal. It can be casual and lower cost but I'd consider the dessert to be an extra.
    So like brunch for a morning rehearsal?

    The only issue is that any event space renting has to take place 60 days out at the latest. I won't have my rehearsal time until 30 days out. So that leaves.....?? 
    LOL I am so stuck!
  • Who is coming to the rehearsal, is it just WP, parents and SOs? 30 seems like a lot, or is that normal? Just wondering if you could cut the guest list.

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  • Sioux1986 said:
    banana468 said:
    I'd make sure you host what's appropriate for the time of day after the rehearsal. It can be casual and lower cost but I'd consider the dessert to be an extra.
    So like brunch for a morning rehearsal?

    The only issue is that any event space renting has to take place 60 days out at the latest. I won't have my rehearsal time until 30 days out. So that leaves.....?? 
    LOL I am so stuck!
    I think you need to talk to your POC at Disney.  I am sure they have dealt with this many times before and can give you advice on what you should do.

  • Who is coming to the rehearsal, is it just WP, parents and SOs? 30 seems like a lot, or is that normal? Just wondering if you could cut the guest list.
    I have 8 bridesmaids (6 of them are sisters), plus their significant others. My parents (2 sets), his parents, his groomsmen (4 plus SOs), ring bearer and his parents, plus my brother. 

    I have a huge immediate family. 
  • Sioux1986 said:
    banana468 said:
    I'd make sure you host what's appropriate for the time of day after the rehearsal. It can be casual and lower cost but I'd consider the dessert to be an extra.
    So like brunch for a morning rehearsal?

    The only issue is that any event space renting has to take place 60 days out at the latest. I won't have my rehearsal time until 30 days out. So that leaves.....?? 
    LOL I am so stuck!
    I think you need to talk to your POC at Disney.  I am sure they have dealt with this many times before and can give you advice on what you should do.
    I totally have. Their stance is to be rude that "guests won't care if they have to wait several hours." OR spend a tons more money hosting 2 events. 
  • I agree with adk19.  If you get a zany rehearsal time, just you and FI go.  You might be able to tell people "FI and need to meet with the venue at 11:30 AM.  If anyone wants to tag along, they're welcome but if not we'll meet you at Awesome Disney Thing at 1:30."  Then just go over stuff in someone's hotel room before the dessert thing.

    Important things to know: the order of how people are going to walk, if there are pairs for processional/recessional, any auditory cues for things, including readings, and where people should sit/stand, particularly for the ringbearer.  None of this really needs the actual venue though.  But enjoy the dessert thing.  It's on my to-do list for our next Disney trip.
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  • You could do the rehearsal anywhere. I got married outside, but it was a torrential downpour the night before my wedding, so we did the rehearsal inside.  
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  • Fairyjen1Fairyjen1 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
       I just had my wedding at Disneyland! I did an escape wedding, though, so no rehearsal necessary. I did get engaged at Walt Disney World.

       Can you get some sandwiches catered from Earl of Sandwich in Downtown Disney and have them in your or someone else's hotel room or in a picnic area. Rehearsal dinner's don't have to be fancy affairs, especially if you are doing the dessert party later. You just have to provide something.  Earl of sandwich is certainly cheaper than many of the other Disney owned options.   The only tricky part would be arranging for someone to pick them up, I don't think they deliver. 

    There are pizza places in the area that will deliver to the hotels as well.
  • edited October 2014
    Yeah we had our rehearsal in my MIL's back yard. It can be anywhere, or skipped. It's really not that important. Stage it in a parking lot or your hotel hallway before the dessert thing.

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  • Fairyjen1 said:
       I just had my wedding at Disneyland! I did an escape wedding, though, so no rehearsal necessary. I did get engaged at Walt Disney World.

       Can you get some sandwiches catered from Earl of Sandwich in Downtown Disney and have them in your or someone else's hotel room or in a picnic area. Rehearsal dinner's don't have to be fancy affairs, especially if you are doing the dessert party later. You just have to provide something.  Earl of sandwich is certainly cheaper than many of the other Disney owned options.   The only tricky part would be arranging for someone to pick them up, I don't think they deliver. 

    There are pizza places in the area that will deliver to the hotels as well.
    Wow! Congrats! I'm sure it was amazing! :)
  • Ladies: Thank you so much for your advice. I love the idea of just DF and I going if the time is wonky, and then running through order and all that. Really great advice! Thanks!
  • Disclaimer: This is terrible advice and not something I would say to anyone else.

    -HOWEVER-

    Because it's Disney World (and *only* for that reason) I'd be so excited for an 8 hour gap between rehearsal and dessert.  Space Mountain here I comeee!
  • I would book the dessert + fireworks because that sounds AWESOME.

    Also, yes to just you and FI if the rehearsal ends up with a huge gap before the dessert thing. You two are the only ones who really need to be aware of cues and such. Everyone else is just walking and standing, to be honest, and that's not hard to figure out. 

    We didn't have a rehearsal because we were in Vegas and rehearsals cost extra (eff that noise). We just told everyone their walking order and told them not to step off until the pair ahead of them reached a pew in the middle of the chapel. Easy peasy. 

    Our officiant ran through a few things with us over the phone and sent us a copy of the "script" so we could familiarize ourselves (and approve the final version). Then, during the ceremony, he said things like, "Wrigley and FI, please join hands," and "Wrigley, take FI's hand, place the ring on his finger, and repeat after me." It sounded completely natural and not like he was giving us stage directions at all. Many officiants do this, probably because people are so keyed-up on the actual day that they'd forget to breathe if the officiant didn't guide them along. :)
  • I would be okay with a gap at disney world.
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  • adk19 said:
    Go ahead and schedule the dessert thing.

    Do the rehearsal at the time they suggest even if it ends up being just you and FI at the scheduled "rehearsal".  Do a quick rehearsal with your bridal party at the dessert thing or in the lobby of the dessert thing.  "Joe, you're escorting my mom up the aisle.  Mom, that's Joe.  Then you four go in this order, wait until the person in front of you is halfway down the aisle before you start walking.  Don't go too fast.  Practice now by walking across this room.  Whoever walks the best gets the first pick of dessert when we get inside."  Seriously, just have your own "rehearsal" right before your rehearsal "dinner".
    This is essentially what I'm doing. Our venue has a different event on Friday night, so we're allowed to rehearse before 2pm. We're planning on going there at 1:30pm in the afternoon, with anyone who happens to be available, to walk through the space and get our bearings ourself. Our parents will definitely be there, because they have nothing else to do and want to come. Some of my bridal party may be as well, as we're having a girls lunch at noon, and then getting our nails done at 2:30. But really, our "rehearsal" will be handing out a sheet of paper with some typed out logistics at the beginning of the "rehearsal dinner" and saying "Hey everyone, this is where you need to be and when. This is the order of things happening. This is what I expect you to do." Honestly, it's not particularly complicated. They just walk down the aisle in the right order and stand/sit where they're supposed to. And you know what? If something happens in the wrong order or someone sits in someone else's seat, it's not the end of the world. 
  • Thanks you guys. Some awesome advice, seriously.

    And to respond to everyone about "hey, no it's Disney World, so a gap is cool" my whole thinking is I don't want to over schedule my guests, which is why I'd be super hesitant to add a second event. BUT i also didn't want to be rude. 

    I really appreciate @MandyMost and your plan to just hand out an order list. That seems like it will work best for my situation.

    Thank you ladies!

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