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Offbeat Weddings

What's wrong with me?! 2nd thoughts...

My fiancé and I are supposed to be eloping and finally tying the knot on our 7 year dating anniversary next Wednesday! I'm having 2nd thoughts, YET AGAIN! 

Backstory, we planned a wedding in 2012, my dad passed 3 months before the wedding so I cancelled. I couldn't see myself having a wedding without him there, he was so excited about the wedding and I was so devastated at the thought of walking down the aisle without him or sitting through the mother son dance knowing I wouldn't get my father daughter dance. Many people offered to walk me down, I didn't feel right about it. 

We rescheduled and sent out save the dates for 2013. Cancelled again because I still felt it would just be a sad reminder of him not being there!

Here we are, 1 week away from the 3rd planned wedding and all I can think about is how I want my sisters to be bridesmaids and my brothers groomsmen and finance's family is upset about us eloping and REGRET is kicking in big time, again. 

I am SURE about the man. I know some people are probably thinking that this has nothing to do with the wedding and is all about my fiancé. We are so in love. We've been together 7 years. I want to be his wife more than anything but I can't figure out HOW I want to go about doing that! 

The forecast for our elopement is exasperating the whole situation :( 

I know our friends and family would probably be ridiculously annoyed and sick of us if we (I) changed our minds AGAIN! But I feel this is such a big important day, I already have so many regrets, I don't want this to be one of them!

Help me ladies! Please!

Re: What's wrong with me?! 2nd thoughts...

  • If you were my BFF and we were sitting around having coffee, this is what I would ask you (and I would ask it out of love).

    1) How is your FI going to feel? Ultimately,  your marriage is about you two. Not your whole family/friends, not about a sweet party, and definitely not about the weather. If my FI had backed out three times (albeit for totally legit reasons twice) we would be having some serious discussions.

    2) Are you really sure about this? I mean, what else is going on? Because you're saying one thing, but acting another way. And actions speak louder than words.

  • Wow- you could be me! I think it's time to get married if that's what you want. I think you're avoiding the wedding and making up reasons why you want to put it off again because you don't want to have a wedding without your dad there. My dad passed away in 2012 and I feel the same way, but acaton5 is right- the wedding is ultimately about the two of you. You FI might start to feel like you don't want to be with HIM if you cancel again. Your dad, I'm sure, wouldn't want to see you continue to put off your special day on account of his absence. And I know your FIs family is upset about you eloping, mine's is too as we are eloping as well. But ultimately it is YOUR wedding, they will get over it and just remind them that having a "traditional" wedding brings up memories of your father. If you were my best friend, I'd tell you to go through with it.
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